glue sticks....what an invention.....
I look at life thru rose colored glasses, and i almost always consider my self an optimist, on most things, except when i'm awaiting an answer or results for somthing i always think the worst is going to happen, pretty pesimistic. But theres a method to my madness, if i go about things like this i'm prepairing myself for the worst, so when the worst does happen i'm not as mad or sad or upset as if i had expected things to turn out better, in a sence its a way of protecting myself. Anyways to get to the point. I followed the advice of the "anonymous responder" and my heart and told the guy i liked that i liked him, part of me felt that it might have been a little too soon and that it might catch him off guard, but i think its important that when you feel somthing so strong you should act on it, and so i did. and the pesimistic view couldn't save me from hurt this time. For the first time in my heart i had truely fallen for somone within my grasps ( no longer just lookin on either the outside or the inside, but both), only to find i was yet again not worth being held onto. i have this sadness lurking in me somewhere that tells me i'll be alone forever, each day i become more aware of this. To try and feel better about it i just tell myself theres nothing wrong w/ that, that it just shows how strong i am to be able to always "go it alone", that i don't need anyone, but i don't feel better for long..... why can't anyone see how capeable i am of loving...why won't anyone lighten my eyes and remove this hazy sadness that only seems to thicken as the clock ticks on...........and why do i always want the things that don't want me........why?
On a slightly happier note the semister is almost over. YAY!and yet so is "SPIN".....For those of you that don't know it's "THE SPIN CYCLE TRILOGIES", the show i've been working on for more then a month and a half now, it didn't turn out quite as i expected, but the process was most enjoyable....i met so many wonderful people and because they are all sooo special to me i'll take the time to mention my cast right now. Nicole (my rapping audition buddy) you are the best lesbian lover i ever had,i'm sorry for bumping your kitty, i'll be more careful next time i swear....vuuuuur..aw i feel much better now.lol. Joshy...homes..sup sup sup sup sup..i hope after the show is done you won't have a reason to masterbate quite as much as you do now, i mean it's really not healthy to do it THAT much, and keep working on those 5 different accents, i know one day they will all sound like one, your an AMAZING artist!!! i mean you draw, write, act, play the drums....and guitar....are on the water polo team..and the FSU Volleyball team(yes tracy it does exist, don't be jealous).gosh..i so wish i was josh right now...what a kool dude. Adam...all i can say is the hair..WOW...Bowling for colmbine rocks, but it does kinda freak me out that that movie makes you happy?...Oh and next time your in a show ...stay away from mono, you were pretty funny on the drugs, but i'm glad the "clean" adam is back. Alicia ..hmmm...our princess...i think when chad wrote the line "never underestimate the power of one voice" he was thinking about you, and gee golly you are the most attractive bush i've ever seen...keep holding guns, one day you'll have buff arms! Tracy your the koolest statue of liberty ever..you rock my world, keep hunting down those homosexuals! Thanks for all the rides on the vespa...even if it was in 30 degree weather, you always kept me warm...vuuuur....Brenda...tig..tig tog....tig tag tog...thanks for playing along with all my stupid made up games, letting me fall on you legs, dinner at Rfoc, Walmart, CRAZY PARTIES, being my other lesbian lover in the show..lol...and taking it like a man when i throw chocolate at your face...SORRY!!!!!!, oh and thanks for hooking me up with the flintstone vitamen chapstick!!! Chad...i mean Jeff or umm matt, no no it's deffinately chad ...our precious director...thanks for makeing our part of the show the "koolest" and thanks for casting me and giving me a chance, i had a great time, and congrats on finally figureing out who brenda really is it only took you till the final dress rehersal to finally get the name with the right face!..lol....I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
On a slightly happier note the semister is almost over. YAY!and yet so is "SPIN".....For those of you that don't know it's "THE SPIN CYCLE TRILOGIES", the show i've been working on for more then a month and a half now, it didn't turn out quite as i expected, but the process was most enjoyable....i met so many wonderful people and because they are all sooo special to me i'll take the time to mention my cast right now. Nicole (my rapping audition buddy) you are the best lesbian lover i ever had,i'm sorry for bumping your kitty, i'll be more careful next time i swear....vuuuuur..aw i feel much better now.lol. Joshy...homes..sup sup sup sup sup..i hope after the show is done you won't have a reason to masterbate quite as much as you do now, i mean it's really not healthy to do it THAT much, and keep working on those 5 different accents, i know one day they will all sound like one, your an AMAZING artist!!! i mean you draw, write, act, play the drums....and guitar....are on the water polo team..and the FSU Volleyball team(yes tracy it does exist, don't be jealous).gosh..i so wish i was josh right now...what a kool dude. Adam...all i can say is the hair..WOW...Bowling for colmbine rocks, but it does kinda freak me out that that movie makes you happy?...Oh and next time your in a show ...stay away from mono, you were pretty funny on the drugs, but i'm glad the "clean" adam is back. Alicia ..hmmm...our princess...i think when chad wrote the line "never underestimate the power of one voice" he was thinking about you, and gee golly you are the most attractive bush i've ever seen...keep holding guns, one day you'll have buff arms! Tracy your the koolest statue of liberty ever..you rock my world, keep hunting down those homosexuals! Thanks for all the rides on the vespa...even if it was in 30 degree weather, you always kept me warm...vuuuur....Brenda...tig..tig tog....tig tag tog...thanks for playing along with all my stupid made up games, letting me fall on you legs, dinner at Rfoc, Walmart, CRAZY PARTIES, being my other lesbian lover in the show..lol...and taking it like a man when i throw chocolate at your face...SORRY!!!!!!, oh and thanks for hooking me up with the flintstone vitamen chapstick!!! Chad...i mean Jeff or umm matt, no no it's deffinately chad ...our precious director...thanks for makeing our part of the show the "koolest" and thanks for casting me and giving me a chance, i had a great time, and congrats on finally figureing out who brenda really is it only took you till the final dress rehersal to finally get the name with the right face!..lol....I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!