Hugs
http://surviving-we-three.blogspot.com/2009/02/hugs.html
Hugs
Hugs. What an awesome topic. I must forewarn my readers that this blog is going to jump all over the place as I have a LOT to say about hugs. But we'll start with the pic above. It's the physical symbol of C's hug for me. He gave it to me when I needed it the most.
We were dating other people. We were best friends. We loved each other deeply. We had decided that we would date each other. We were scared to death of what all that meant. We had (still have, everybody does!) our challenges and one of them is definately my ability to multitask and keep in touch with everyone while that's not his top priority. in fact it's pretty far down the list.
So on a Sunday in earlyish mid-November, we went to church together and prayed over his best friend at the alter. Afterwards we went to lunch. The day before I had pretty much gotten into his face about the communication differences and was just at my wits end. I was finally able to put words to my feelings and told him that I just didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know how to make it better. He said, "I know. I'll give you a gift. I'll give you something from my alter."
So after lunch, he took me aside to walk me to my car, got the girls all settled and then pulled me close and handed me this (featured in the pic above) and said, "I'm giving you this so that when i'm off flying, you know that I'm right here with you and that I'll land soon." and then kissed me softly.
Some moments are just engraved onto and into your heart forever. This is one of them. So now, when it's been hours since i've last talked to him, i reach up and feel the charm that i've placed on my necklace. I feel loved. I feel his hug.
I can't wear it all the time. But I always have it on my person. I always have it when I need a hug from him and know I won't get to talk to him until the end of the day.
He gave me exactly what I needed when i needed it. A hug. a physical symbol of his hug. His hug feels good. I feel loved every time i reach up and touch it.
Hugs are important. I finally shared with him how important hugs are a couple of days ago as we are eating our dinner in front of the fire.
There were so few instances where my ex (since this is a good story, i will refrain from calling him IdiotNuts) saw me for who i was. But early in our marriage he gave me the nickname of Hugs. Which was sometimes Huggie, but most of the time Hugs. One of the few things that was good between the two of us were our terms of endearment.
Hugs fit. My love of life is embraced through hugging those I love around me. I think there were probably years that went by that he never even called me by my name. Just Hugs. I signed my name as Hugs. Sometimes, I even shortened it to --H--. I was recognized and known as Hugs.
When we divorced, I completely walked away from the name. It didn't matter that it was now my nickname in most aspects of my life. I still walked away.
C and I have talked about nicknames several times since we've been dating. He's Cap'm Buttercup and he's asked if I ever had any nicknames. I shared my softball days one of Pepper, but it wasn't till the other night that I shared that I was Hugs. Dunno why it had taken so long, but it had. Felt so good to share such a positive part of my recent life with him.
I went out lookin' for someone to Hug for this Manic Monday's Mission but could not find the story that Crystal had. I've been sick the past 2 days and couldn't get out like I usually do. Been down on myself about it until this afternoon when I started thinking about it.
Then I realize I've had TWO good hugs. One was my daughter who puts the smile on the sun every morning when it comes out. She's been sicksicksick. She came in the room right before we were supposed to have a playdate with tears in her eyes crying, "Mom, I don't feel good". (no wonder my morning was so darn quiet!) I gathered her up and she snuggled in. Poor Bu!
I hate it when my children are sick. But there's some great feeling when they snuggle into you. It's like they are trying to give you all of their misery because they know that you want to take it from them. They let themselves be totally wrapped in love in that very moment and totally surrender to it.
The other one I can't really talk in great detail about. I can say that I got a chance to care for my friend L when she was in a very um, vulnerable state and I love it when I get to care for my friends.
So, now that brings me the question of the moment... Who are Hugs really for? I don't know anyone who actually hugs someone that they don't want to. And when we hug someone, we're taking their energy and mixing it with ours. But no matter if it's hugging to ease the pain of a friend or hugging because we're both happy about the same thing (there was a LOT of hugging going around on the day after the election and even MORE on January 20th!!!!!), those hugs still make us feel good.
I am always looking to help with a hug. but I ALWAYS get as much goodie out of it, no matter which side of the hug i'm on.
Thank you, Crystal for putting the HUG out there. here's a virtual hug from me to you.
(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))