you deserve better than me
I have decided, after MUCH careful consideration and talks with God, that I will not be attending Confirmation classes at St. Matthews (or any other church) and therefore will not be confirmed as a Catholic. This decision really only affects my family and i (and probably Kate as well), but i just wanted to put it out here now so that i don't get a million questions from people seperately, like i did with the whole Nick thing (don't ask if you don't know). It's totally a personal choice, and i don't have anything against catholics or the church and of course not anything against Jesus or God. I believe in both very much and i feel closer to them in the past few years than i ever have in my life. I just don't believe in religion. I hate the concept of a church, which does not mean that there aren't some really great parts of church that i love, but i think that the idea that you have to pay money and dress up and gather together every week to talk to God is ridiculous. I don't need a church to feel God's love and i certainly don't need to pay $90 to stand up in front of members of that church and members of my family (most of whom don't even really like me) and tell them that yes, i am and want to be forevermore catholic. Because who knows if i do? I've been catholic my whole life, how do i know if it's what i choose to be? It's like choosing to be white, or choosing to have blue eyes. How do you know that is what you want when that's the only thing you've been able to have since you were born? Well anyway, i have said my piece and i have ranted all i wanted, so now i will go to bed and pray, like i do every night. And i will read from the Bible, like i do every night, and i don't need a man in robes or a congregation of people to tell me how to do those things.