This is for my best friend Rodney

[smileybanana6]

I wrote this 12-25-04 at 11:44pm. This poem was more of a way of me letting out my grief rather than attempting to create poetry with it. Tell me what you think. I know it's not much of a poem but it means more than that to me. My best friend is dead and I hope you can take the chance to listen to this. It would mean a lot. Sorry about it being another depressing poem. I'll post a happy one next time. It just happened to be this poem today.

~Last Breath~
Sometimes I wonder
just what you were thinking
when you took your last breath.
What your last words were
and who heard them.
I wonder if there was something
I could've done
to prevent this ending.
Lonely friends and family
can only wonder;
why would you resort to it?
to... suicide;
too harsh a punishment
for a fallen angel.
The one who helped me up so high.
I can't help but think
of what your last thought was
or if I could've changed it.
Sometimes I blame myself.
Other days I try to accept
this missing piece of my life.
It hurts to look in the mirror,
not knowing the truth
or how to see myself.
I tear myself apart
only to find myself hepless;
Blaming and accusing the girl in the mirror
who doesn't even know the truth
or the reason.
I feel so useless
to the point where it sickens me
to know what kind of person I could be
if there was some way I could change fate.