"I've been a victim of H8"
After waking up to the news of Proposition 8's success, I started a missive to all of my family and friends back in NYC. I realized too late that the rest of the country had no idea of the evil of the Yes on 8 campaign. In fact, my mother didn't even know a vote against gay marriage was on the ballot!
And being that my family and virtually all of my friends from school are Catholic, I aimed it at their hearts and minds. I walked away from the church a long time ago, but now I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to stop until I bring the Catholic Corporation to its knees. (a girl can dream, right?)
Enjoy the rant.
Hello Friends & Family…
Sorry for the mass email, but I have something to say that you all need to hear. Please read on.
Last night was a roller coaster ride of emotion for many of us in San Francisco. It began with unbridled joy as people took to the streets in droves to celebrate the election of the first African-American President of the United States. By the end of the night, the joy had given way to uncertainty. Results for 12 state propositions were coming in, but one proposition in particular, one very close to the hearts of many San Franciscans, was too close to call.
We went to sleep not knowing the outcome of Proposition 8.
By this morning, the uncertainty was all but certain. Tom and I, along with tens of thousands of our brothers and sisters, has been stripped of one of our fundamental rights; Proposition 8 passed by a margin of some 200,000 500,000 votes, thereby eliminating the right of gays and lesbians to marry in California. Certainty turned to anger.
I’ll save the speech about how it’s a “sad day” when “discrimination is written into our state’s constitution” for another mass email. That’s not the point of this rant.
The point of this email is tell you that I am f*cking angry. And I think you should be too.
A few months ago, I was ecstatic when the California Supreme Court justly decided that I, Ed Kiley, was just as worthy as all of you heterosexual readers of this email to marry the person I love. I can guarantee that most of you have no idea what it feels like to suddenly be granted a legal right that you previously were denied. It’s indescribable. One day, marriage was barely a blip on my radar screen; by the next day, Tom and I were touring wedding venues. It was very exciting.
But then Proposition 8 came along, aimed at overturning the Supreme Court decision and “Restoring Marriage and Protecting California’s Children.” What a total crock of shit. The bigots and hatemongers and false “Christians” behind the proposition then launch the most expensive campaign for a proposition in state history, a campaign funded mostly by out of state interests and built entirely on lies, deceit and, most powerfully, fear:
“Homosexuality will now be taught in public schools” was one talking point. FALSE
“Churches will be stripped of their tax exempt status” if they refuse to perform gay weddings, was another. FALSE
“Once gay marriage is legal, what’s next? Beastiality? Pedophilia?” OY VEY
Most despicably, they used footage of first graders attending the wedding of their lesbian teacher to terrify ignorant Californians into believing that public school children as young as 7 or 8 would be forced to learn about gay marriage. What the spot failed to mention was that the class was from a progressive private school and all parents gave permission for their child to attend.
Disgusted yet? Read on.
It’s no surprise that the usual wingnut crazies such as Focus on the Family and Concerned Women for America were front and center, as were the Mormons. In fact, members of the LDS Church-in UTAH-provided the bulk of the funding, more than $19 million. Yes, that’s right -- the church with that ugly little skeleton in the closet called POLYGAMY is that concerned about protecting the sanctity of marriage.
But, Catholics, please note the following out of state donors who were among the biggest individual contributors to denying Tom and me the right to be married:
Knights Of Columbus Headquarters $1,000,000.00 CT New Haven 8/14/08
Knights Of Columbus Headquarters $250,000.00 CT New Haven 1/30/08
U.S. Conference Of Catholic Bishops $200,000.00 DC Washington 10/27/08
Knights Of Columbus Headquarters $150,000.00 CT New Haven 10/20/08
(from the San Francisco Chronicle)
This is outrageous on so many levels: out of state religious organizations interfering in a CA state Constitutional matter; the further aligning of the Catholic Church with radical “Christian” sects; the ever-increasing push by “Christians” to blur the boundary between Church and State; and then there is the sheer fact that the same church that’s crying poorhouse and shuttering parishes nationwide spent $200,000 to defeat a CA state proposition that has absolutely nothing to do with and will have no bearing on their religion.
To my Catholic friends & family - is this what you want your collection basket envelopes being used for?
I’m telling you all this because I am FED UP. For the better part of my 35 years, I’ve put up with shit that most of you cannot even imagine. I’ve endured name-calling and bullying, been beat up and ostracized--all in CATHOLIC SCHOOL, mind you--and even learned what the word ‘faggot’ meant at an appallingly young age. And why? Because of who I was. Not a “lifestyle” or a “choice” but because of who “god” made me.
I mean, let’s call a spade a spade here: the fight against gay marriage has nothing to do with protecting marriage (if it was, those loudmouthed “Christians” wouldn’t be on their 3rd and 4th marriages) or protecting children. What the fight against gay marriage is about is prejudice and hate and marginalizing one group so that another can maintain power. It’s also about a perverted obsession with what we do in our bedrooms while completely ignoring who we are as people.
I’d like you to think long and hard about the churches and other organizations you support, and ask yourself “do they share my values? Am I supporting an organization that discriminates against my friends/my family/my children?”
Because if they don’t support your values, there are plenty of others that do.
Thank you for reading.
All my love,
Ed
P.S. - while the date of our wedding is technically confirmed (Friday, October 2, 2009), it obviously remains to be seen whether it will be an actual wedding that day or just a big old, alcohol-soaked “F*ck you Bigots!” party. So, theme TBD. :-)