I'M GONNA MAKE A HUNDERED FIFTY MILLION DALLERS!
Yup, I fell in love with the older grades on my first day.
Which is mentally retarded because they're the ones who assault each other, their teachers, light fires, bring in knives, steal and break/throw shit on a daily basis. But today, in a severe lack of respect for the entire staff at our school, we got an e-mail in the morning saying that all teachers would be randomly meeting in (my!) data room for this co-teaching presentation. Attached were the assignments. For whatever reason, I only had to do one class. Ms. R is youngish like me, and she seems pretty cool. According to her kids she can either be "chill" or "yelling." Ms. M, my ballin' heroic teacher told me not to worry, go in and tell the kids I'm cool. So I did.
I had picked them up from Art, and of course, I've got 20 seventh graders staring at me thinking "who the fuck is this bitch?" A little frightening, but I simply told them that I'm cool, I just want everyone to relax, I'm not gonna yell, we're just gonna chill until Ms. R gets back. And wouldn't you know, the kids started turning around to each other and repeating what I said, almost as if they could not believe what they were hearing. Suddenly a few were asking my name, and one boy walked up to me and held out his hand. I was thinking he was gonna hand shake with the guy next to me. NO! He gave me the ghetto hand shake. Thankfully, I've been taught this maneuver years ago, and still remember each step in the shake. Damn, I'm so awesome.
They had to finish this Short Cycle Assessment (HEY! I'm in charge of those percentages in my data room!) and when they finished, I literally let them do whatever the hell they wanted. I had mentioned to them before they started their test that I wouldn't care about anything as long as they didn't get into a fist fight or start a fire. Apparently that was just hilarious. So after a half hour or so, most everyone finished and for like, 40 minutes we all just talked. It wasn't a pow-wow session with everyone in a circle; kids were all in their own little groups doing their things. One boy, Damon, who I've known since last year because he walks to school every day, told me (and I quote!) "Miss Kessel, I wish you could be our teacher up here the entire day." And he was the one I was yelling at the most because he decided shoving his desk around was 'cool.' It was humorous though!
I dunno, the kids are just funny. One girl was sitting a few feet from the wall and decided to move her desk literally up against the wall. I was standing there and asked where she was going, on vacation? Her reply was: Yeah, I'm going to Mexico.
So I said: It may take you a while to get there traveling by a desk! (SCORE! I'M SO AWESOME AND FUNNY!)
One of the boys said he wasn't worried about checking over his answers because he was already working on his career. He said it was already happening in front of me. Duh, a rapper. I told him even if Snoop and Lil' Wayne make stupid decisions in life, they're still incredibly smart. Which means you have to get through school and learn something to reach that level of fame. Then the whack kid next to him (Kevin!) started a lame attempt to spit some beats and basically looked like he was having a seizure in his chair. We were dying, it was so hilarious.
Okay, Kevin is a great kid. He's definitely a class clown. First he told me to do his test because he couldn't write. (He had a band-aid on his pinky). What'd you break it?! I asked and of course he didn't. Do your work kid. Later, I'm putting their tests away on her shelf and I see Kevin fall out of his seat. He gets up and holds his hand to his back and moans something about already having a broken finger. And I replied: Boy, Kevin! Broken pinky, broken back -- you're just having a rough day today!
Again, score one for the cool white, thin teacher! (I wouldn't be 'scoring' if the kids didn't crack up)
To fit in, insults are a must. I'm old and fast enough now to be able to slyly insult them, without coming right out and saying "your hair nappy!" or whatever the crap/grammar they'll dish out. Today 'we' insulted random boys, and their cheeks. Okay, not their ass, their literal cheeks. Apparently, having high, noticeable cheekbones are uh, well, according to the kids, gay. The weird thing is, the kids who were getting insulted were just laughing, especially when someone would poke someone's face. I dunno, I didn't hang out in that area very long, because that was just plain weird. Maybe they were taking my plea of 'no fighting' to heart!
I am concerned about these kids' dancing abilities. One kid was doing some bizarre hip-action toward me and I told him to sit down because he looked ridiculous -- IS THAT EVEN A DANCE MOVE?! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT?!!? People don't dance like that, and you're not in a BET video! It looked like the sprinkler move, but the sprinkler was broken.
Jeffrey, who was shocked that I knew his name, is obsessed with his comb. Most of the boys, and I do NOT understand this, are literally OCD about "brushing" their hair. First, they carry these wooden brushes or combs with them at all times, and continuously run said brush through their hair. This is ONLY the boys. And it's hysterical because THEY HAVE NO HAIR. Anyway, Jeffrey literally had his red comb out, going through his 1/2 inch mohawk like he expected some hot actress to waltz in the room at any given moment. Eventually, I started to tell him that he looked good and to just put the comb away -- you don't even have any hair for it to go through!! I bet I told him ten times, and we just laughed.
At the time, I didn't realize it, I got the best class upstairs. Ms. Washu-L's class was next door and she had 2 subs in her class trying to control that disaster. My older students were constantly asking to go to the bathroom or get a drink and honestly, I LOVED simply saying "SURE! GO FOR IT!!" Anytime I'd open or shut the door (the door was locked from the outside) I could peek into Washu-L's room. HILARITY. OH. MY. GOD. There was lots of yelling, but it wasn't fun, howling with laughter yelling like my class was having, it was total chaos. I've entered every class into a math program on the computer, trust me when I say she has the worst class I've ever seen in my entire life.
So anyway, I see Senica (her first day back from assaulting a staff member, dunno who) bawling her eyes out with a sub in her face screaming at her. The other sub, on the other side of the room is equally as loud to the rest of the still, louder class. I was so thankful at that moment to get Ms. R's class and even if I adore Washu-L, she probably would have found me dead outside the second story window had I been in her class. Because her students are THAT. EVIL.
One of the serious problematic girls in my class, that I knew of, was Jazzmone. (oh yeah, that's spelled correctly) I walked her down to the s.w. and she was really NICE. She was sure I was a teacher, and asked where I work, because these kids never see me besides the library in the morning or random passings in the hallway. Then she told me her twin sister was in Washu-L's class and it was SENICA. OHHHH MY GOD!! AWESOMMMME!!!! We agreed that Senica is, 'out a lot.' To put it nicely. She said I should work upstairs when I left. Just too cute!!!!
OH! And the other thing that was the SHIT -- the kids were beyond respectful. You'd think they wouldn't be, especially how wild and crazy they are in the library, and that they're 14, but everything was "Yes ma'am, no ma'am, excuse me ma'am, thank you ma'am." DUDE! I dunno if Ms. R trained them or what, but I was blown away. I can tell you the other chaotic class doesn't have that kind of caliber! And now, I am no longer afraid of what the future generation will do to the world. At least they'll say "I'm sorry ma'am" as they blow up the planet... and I'm okay with that!
So, 2 o'clock came around and even though I was supposed to have been gone for 15 minutes on my way home, I didn't care at all that Ms. R was late. She immediately asked if there were any problems and of course there weren't. They're just chatty, which she agreed. We talked another minute and I left the room laughing hysterically because Kevin had just fallen into the cabinets behind his desk. I told Mr. S, the security guard, that Ms. R's class is one of the funnest (yep, incorrect word) classes I've ever worked with. They're hilarious!! And poor Washu-L was standing outside her doorway and asked Mr. S if he'd go in because she didn't want to take her class back. I headed down the stairs laughing and 'awww'ing at the same time.
IT WAS JUST SO REFRESHING!!!! I didn't yell, I didn't have a bitch teacher pissing me off, or making me feel inferior, it was just me in charge of a classroom where I knew 3 kids' names walking in. Ms. H, my bitch teacher, can be so depressing and rude to our students. It'll set the mood for me, and then I'll yell at them, though not as much as she does. This afternoon I honestly didn't yell once, except when "yelling" and laughing at the same time. Please let me move upstairs whenever we get these new IA's!!!!!!
And then after work, a few of us went out to grab a drink before having a professional training in the evening and some other people may have gotten drunk(ish). That was funny, but this is long enough already!
Which is mentally retarded because they're the ones who assault each other, their teachers, light fires, bring in knives, steal and break/throw shit on a daily basis. But today, in a severe lack of respect for the entire staff at our school, we got an e-mail in the morning saying that all teachers would be randomly meeting in (my!) data room for this co-teaching presentation. Attached were the assignments. For whatever reason, I only had to do one class. Ms. R is youngish like me, and she seems pretty cool. According to her kids she can either be "chill" or "yelling." Ms. M, my ballin' heroic teacher told me not to worry, go in and tell the kids I'm cool. So I did.
I had picked them up from Art, and of course, I've got 20 seventh graders staring at me thinking "who the fuck is this bitch?" A little frightening, but I simply told them that I'm cool, I just want everyone to relax, I'm not gonna yell, we're just gonna chill until Ms. R gets back. And wouldn't you know, the kids started turning around to each other and repeating what I said, almost as if they could not believe what they were hearing. Suddenly a few were asking my name, and one boy walked up to me and held out his hand. I was thinking he was gonna hand shake with the guy next to me. NO! He gave me the ghetto hand shake. Thankfully, I've been taught this maneuver years ago, and still remember each step in the shake. Damn, I'm so awesome.
They had to finish this Short Cycle Assessment (HEY! I'm in charge of those percentages in my data room!) and when they finished, I literally let them do whatever the hell they wanted. I had mentioned to them before they started their test that I wouldn't care about anything as long as they didn't get into a fist fight or start a fire. Apparently that was just hilarious. So after a half hour or so, most everyone finished and for like, 40 minutes we all just talked. It wasn't a pow-wow session with everyone in a circle; kids were all in their own little groups doing their things. One boy, Damon, who I've known since last year because he walks to school every day, told me (and I quote!) "Miss Kessel, I wish you could be our teacher up here the entire day." And he was the one I was yelling at the most because he decided shoving his desk around was 'cool.' It was humorous though!
I dunno, the kids are just funny. One girl was sitting a few feet from the wall and decided to move her desk literally up against the wall. I was standing there and asked where she was going, on vacation? Her reply was: Yeah, I'm going to Mexico.
So I said: It may take you a while to get there traveling by a desk! (SCORE! I'M SO AWESOME AND FUNNY!)
One of the boys said he wasn't worried about checking over his answers because he was already working on his career. He said it was already happening in front of me. Duh, a rapper. I told him even if Snoop and Lil' Wayne make stupid decisions in life, they're still incredibly smart. Which means you have to get through school and learn something to reach that level of fame. Then the whack kid next to him (Kevin!) started a lame attempt to spit some beats and basically looked like he was having a seizure in his chair. We were dying, it was so hilarious.
Okay, Kevin is a great kid. He's definitely a class clown. First he told me to do his test because he couldn't write. (He had a band-aid on his pinky). What'd you break it?! I asked and of course he didn't. Do your work kid. Later, I'm putting their tests away on her shelf and I see Kevin fall out of his seat. He gets up and holds his hand to his back and moans something about already having a broken finger. And I replied: Boy, Kevin! Broken pinky, broken back -- you're just having a rough day today!
Again, score one for the cool white, thin teacher! (I wouldn't be 'scoring' if the kids didn't crack up)
To fit in, insults are a must. I'm old and fast enough now to be able to slyly insult them, without coming right out and saying "your hair nappy!" or whatever the crap/grammar they'll dish out. Today 'we' insulted random boys, and their cheeks. Okay, not their ass, their literal cheeks. Apparently, having high, noticeable cheekbones are uh, well, according to the kids, gay. The weird thing is, the kids who were getting insulted were just laughing, especially when someone would poke someone's face. I dunno, I didn't hang out in that area very long, because that was just plain weird. Maybe they were taking my plea of 'no fighting' to heart!
I am concerned about these kids' dancing abilities. One kid was doing some bizarre hip-action toward me and I told him to sit down because he looked ridiculous -- IS THAT EVEN A DANCE MOVE?! WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT?!!? People don't dance like that, and you're not in a BET video! It looked like the sprinkler move, but the sprinkler was broken.
Jeffrey, who was shocked that I knew his name, is obsessed with his comb. Most of the boys, and I do NOT understand this, are literally OCD about "brushing" their hair. First, they carry these wooden brushes or combs with them at all times, and continuously run said brush through their hair. This is ONLY the boys. And it's hysterical because THEY HAVE NO HAIR. Anyway, Jeffrey literally had his red comb out, going through his 1/2 inch mohawk like he expected some hot actress to waltz in the room at any given moment. Eventually, I started to tell him that he looked good and to just put the comb away -- you don't even have any hair for it to go through!! I bet I told him ten times, and we just laughed.
At the time, I didn't realize it, I got the best class upstairs. Ms. Washu-L's class was next door and she had 2 subs in her class trying to control that disaster. My older students were constantly asking to go to the bathroom or get a drink and honestly, I LOVED simply saying "SURE! GO FOR IT!!" Anytime I'd open or shut the door (the door was locked from the outside) I could peek into Washu-L's room. HILARITY. OH. MY. GOD. There was lots of yelling, but it wasn't fun, howling with laughter yelling like my class was having, it was total chaos. I've entered every class into a math program on the computer, trust me when I say she has the worst class I've ever seen in my entire life.
So anyway, I see Senica (her first day back from assaulting a staff member, dunno who) bawling her eyes out with a sub in her face screaming at her. The other sub, on the other side of the room is equally as loud to the rest of the still, louder class. I was so thankful at that moment to get Ms. R's class and even if I adore Washu-L, she probably would have found me dead outside the second story window had I been in her class. Because her students are THAT. EVIL.
One of the serious problematic girls in my class, that I knew of, was Jazzmone. (oh yeah, that's spelled correctly) I walked her down to the s.w. and she was really NICE. She was sure I was a teacher, and asked where I work, because these kids never see me besides the library in the morning or random passings in the hallway. Then she told me her twin sister was in Washu-L's class and it was SENICA. OHHHH MY GOD!! AWESOMMMME!!!! We agreed that Senica is, 'out a lot.' To put it nicely. She said I should work upstairs when I left. Just too cute!!!!
OH! And the other thing that was the SHIT -- the kids were beyond respectful. You'd think they wouldn't be, especially how wild and crazy they are in the library, and that they're 14, but everything was "Yes ma'am, no ma'am, excuse me ma'am, thank you ma'am." DUDE! I dunno if Ms. R trained them or what, but I was blown away. I can tell you the other chaotic class doesn't have that kind of caliber! And now, I am no longer afraid of what the future generation will do to the world. At least they'll say "I'm sorry ma'am" as they blow up the planet... and I'm okay with that!
So, 2 o'clock came around and even though I was supposed to have been gone for 15 minutes on my way home, I didn't care at all that Ms. R was late. She immediately asked if there were any problems and of course there weren't. They're just chatty, which she agreed. We talked another minute and I left the room laughing hysterically because Kevin had just fallen into the cabinets behind his desk. I told Mr. S, the security guard, that Ms. R's class is one of the funnest (yep, incorrect word) classes I've ever worked with. They're hilarious!! And poor Washu-L was standing outside her doorway and asked Mr. S if he'd go in because she didn't want to take her class back. I headed down the stairs laughing and 'awww'ing at the same time.
IT WAS JUST SO REFRESHING!!!! I didn't yell, I didn't have a bitch teacher pissing me off, or making me feel inferior, it was just me in charge of a classroom where I knew 3 kids' names walking in. Ms. H, my bitch teacher, can be so depressing and rude to our students. It'll set the mood for me, and then I'll yell at them, though not as much as she does. This afternoon I honestly didn't yell once, except when "yelling" and laughing at the same time. Please let me move upstairs whenever we get these new IA's!!!!!!
And then after work, a few of us went out to grab a drink before having a professional training in the evening and some other people may have gotten drunk(ish). That was funny, but this is long enough already!