I couldn't bring myself to call...
except to call it quits
I'm feeling very strange right now, I suppose I should be happy for a friend who just got rid of a loser boyfriend. And in a way I am, but I'm terrified she'll want to be my friend again, and I can't do it. I feel like such a teenager for freaking out about this, but it would end in both of us hurt if we tried. We've betrayed each other more than we were good friends to each other, it sucks. This is why I won't be her friend, I can't enter into a friendship with an optimistic outlook- at least with her anymore. maybe I should just forgive and forget but sadly I cannot. It doesn't help that Emma has forgiven her, though she only got burned by her twice and it would be easier for her. i just feel that at some point, I'm going to be put into an unpleasant situation where I'll have to see her and I might lose this resolve to not be her friend.
Thanksgiving was pretty good. I left my family's celebration to be with my boyfriend's family. They've seriously been so much better to me than my own family. I saw more of them this summer than I saw of my own family. I was happy to be with them, it's always a good time with them, better than when I'm with my own.
I hate my job. I say that a lot, but it's true. I'm going to work harder at getting a second job, I'm going to start applying in *shudder* fast food. It'd be an income, and I really need that.
My brother and his wife are apparently having problems. :( He moved back home last night. I feel like giving up on love, and I might if they can't work it out. In my little world, they were a beacon of hope. I had thought my parents were happy, but something didn't work in that relationship. And now this. I think I put too much stock in love, but I want love to conquer all. I'm a hopeless romantic, and my brother and sister-in-law were perfect for each other. I'm really hoping they pull through this. It's selfish of me too, but I'm glad I moved out when I did. I love my brother and all, but I wouldn't enjoy living with him again. And he's probably pretty upset about his marriage so he'd be less than happy company. Sigh.
I'm thinking of when I could have a get-together. I wanted a futon/couch first but I doubt it'll happen now. things just keep getting in the way - actually one thing keeps getting in the way. My car keeps needing work. ugh. If all goes well, I'll be having people over soon. I just need to figure out when I am not working a Saturday, because they like to throw that at us randomly. It makes it really hard to plan. :(
I'm feeling very strange right now, I suppose I should be happy for a friend who just got rid of a loser boyfriend. And in a way I am, but I'm terrified she'll want to be my friend again, and I can't do it. I feel like such a teenager for freaking out about this, but it would end in both of us hurt if we tried. We've betrayed each other more than we were good friends to each other, it sucks. This is why I won't be her friend, I can't enter into a friendship with an optimistic outlook- at least with her anymore. maybe I should just forgive and forget but sadly I cannot. It doesn't help that Emma has forgiven her, though she only got burned by her twice and it would be easier for her. i just feel that at some point, I'm going to be put into an unpleasant situation where I'll have to see her and I might lose this resolve to not be her friend.
Thanksgiving was pretty good. I left my family's celebration to be with my boyfriend's family. They've seriously been so much better to me than my own family. I saw more of them this summer than I saw of my own family. I was happy to be with them, it's always a good time with them, better than when I'm with my own.
I hate my job. I say that a lot, but it's true. I'm going to work harder at getting a second job, I'm going to start applying in *shudder* fast food. It'd be an income, and I really need that.
My brother and his wife are apparently having problems. :( He moved back home last night. I feel like giving up on love, and I might if they can't work it out. In my little world, they were a beacon of hope. I had thought my parents were happy, but something didn't work in that relationship. And now this. I think I put too much stock in love, but I want love to conquer all. I'm a hopeless romantic, and my brother and sister-in-law were perfect for each other. I'm really hoping they pull through this. It's selfish of me too, but I'm glad I moved out when I did. I love my brother and all, but I wouldn't enjoy living with him again. And he's probably pretty upset about his marriage so he'd be less than happy company. Sigh.
I'm thinking of when I could have a get-together. I wanted a futon/couch first but I doubt it'll happen now. things just keep getting in the way - actually one thing keeps getting in the way. My car keeps needing work. ugh. If all goes well, I'll be having people over soon. I just need to figure out when I am not working a Saturday, because they like to throw that at us randomly. It makes it really hard to plan. :(