Wow, Apparently I have a lot to say. :)
My government teacher mentioned a little bit about how a man writes a journal. And in some ways, I feel like that. He said he would write a few entries, and then not write for like 6 months, and then write an insane one updating everything that had happened in that time frame. I don't do that though. My journals are mostly emotional; because my actions are repetitive. Ah well. The time frame works in that section though because it takes me FOREVER to update. :)
Justin and I are not together right now. We seem to work better as friends. I'm just happy we're still talking. He's my biggest support system right now. Especially with my schedule, and right now my attitude towards going out for things other than school or work...with people. I'm reveling in solitude lately. I don't know why.
My home life is...interesting lately. Mom and I are constantly fighting. *sigh* She feels like I never help her, and I would help her more if she didn't make me feel like I'm her slave. I have to be completely subservient to her and it is not who I am. She views that as respect apparently...and our views on that differ as well.
I'm done with one of my 'friends.' She asked me if the reason I've been staying in so much is related to Justin, and it makes me feel like in her eyes I'm incapable of making my own decisions. Which is not true; at least not now. It used to be true. I used to be such a dependent person that I'd base every decision I made on what the male I was with wanted. So, in a way I see why she asks. But it just makes it hard for me to be her friend. She's also more interested in spending time with her boyfriend than her friends, and while I understand being busy and only wanting to hang with the one you care about, it's not the way it's supposed to be. I used to do that too; but I'm not like that. Well, on a normal mood cycle. Lately, he has been the only one I've been seeing. I think once this show is done, I'll head up to Bennigan's on Tuesdays. Or if there's another hang out spot, I miss you guys. And I really miss working on shows. I'm glad though that I opted out, because this mood issue, has made lots of things hard to do. And I would not have been a good person to work with.
Life is the same; school in the morning, work at night. Some nights I'm free, some mornings.
I'm changing my major; to what, I'm not sure. I'm definitely going to look into Music Therapy, but I haven't made any real decisions. I might be interested in journalism. But I don't know about that. The writing aspect I enjoy; and I've found that it's easy to get me worked up about politics and issues related to that. But writing them in a professional way would be tricky. I don't know. I'm taking my friend up to Schoolcraft on Friday so she can talk to a counselor, and I will prob do the same thing to see what they know about Music Therapy and journalism. And to discuss a course of action with both of those majors. I need to get a better plan for my life. I've been rethinking going to Eastern anyways. I don't know why. I just don't know that that's where I want to be. I don't know where I'd want to go otherwise, but as much as I loved Eastern before, I'm just changing that.
Right now, everything is changing in my life. I don't know. I'm changing. I feel like it's a good change, but we'll see in the end. I guess I'm really just starting to see my life in a new light. Which is a good thing considering I don't want to waste money in this situation.
Justin and I are not together right now. We seem to work better as friends. I'm just happy we're still talking. He's my biggest support system right now. Especially with my schedule, and right now my attitude towards going out for things other than school or work...with people. I'm reveling in solitude lately. I don't know why.
My home life is...interesting lately. Mom and I are constantly fighting. *sigh* She feels like I never help her, and I would help her more if she didn't make me feel like I'm her slave. I have to be completely subservient to her and it is not who I am. She views that as respect apparently...and our views on that differ as well.
I'm done with one of my 'friends.' She asked me if the reason I've been staying in so much is related to Justin, and it makes me feel like in her eyes I'm incapable of making my own decisions. Which is not true; at least not now. It used to be true. I used to be such a dependent person that I'd base every decision I made on what the male I was with wanted. So, in a way I see why she asks. But it just makes it hard for me to be her friend. She's also more interested in spending time with her boyfriend than her friends, and while I understand being busy and only wanting to hang with the one you care about, it's not the way it's supposed to be. I used to do that too; but I'm not like that. Well, on a normal mood cycle. Lately, he has been the only one I've been seeing. I think once this show is done, I'll head up to Bennigan's on Tuesdays. Or if there's another hang out spot, I miss you guys. And I really miss working on shows. I'm glad though that I opted out, because this mood issue, has made lots of things hard to do. And I would not have been a good person to work with.
Life is the same; school in the morning, work at night. Some nights I'm free, some mornings.
I'm changing my major; to what, I'm not sure. I'm definitely going to look into Music Therapy, but I haven't made any real decisions. I might be interested in journalism. But I don't know about that. The writing aspect I enjoy; and I've found that it's easy to get me worked up about politics and issues related to that. But writing them in a professional way would be tricky. I don't know. I'm taking my friend up to Schoolcraft on Friday so she can talk to a counselor, and I will prob do the same thing to see what they know about Music Therapy and journalism. And to discuss a course of action with both of those majors. I need to get a better plan for my life. I've been rethinking going to Eastern anyways. I don't know why. I just don't know that that's where I want to be. I don't know where I'd want to go otherwise, but as much as I loved Eastern before, I'm just changing that.
Right now, everything is changing in my life. I don't know. I'm changing. I feel like it's a good change, but we'll see in the end. I guess I'm really just starting to see my life in a new light. Which is a good thing considering I don't want to waste money in this situation.