(no subject)
I don’t really feel like posting anything of substance. But I would like to assure the world that I am, in fact, alive, and just as supremely inept/ ridiculous as ever.
So here are a few things I’ve done recently:
1. Musical Racing
On Friday the man who runs the library room I study in said “have a good weekend” to me for the first time ever. He doesn’t usually speak to Non-Regulars, except to suggest that they remove their feet and water bottles from the furniture, so the implication that I may have become a Regular pleased me immensely. In response I set my cd player to my favorite Lucksmiths song, which lasts exactly 1:59 minutes, and then raced the song home. I beat the song (by 2 seconds), and then spent at least 300 seconds out of breath and giggling hysterically. Ah, Fridays. :)
2. Ozi Dreams
I dreamed last night that I wanted a Uzi. This is peculiar because, when conscious, I’m not even entirely sure whether I’d even recognize an Uzi if I saw one. The night before that I dreamed that I wanted a teddy. (Garment, not stuffed animal. When I am awake I do not even particularly approve of such things.) Madelynn suggests that my dreams obviously express a desire for Sex And Violence, and that I’m probably stifling my Id. When I protested that my conscious mind desired such reasonable and respectable things as an old-lady nightgown, she said that just proved her point. Stupid controlling super-ego. :)
3. Somersaulting Fiddler
I went to an Eve 6 concert. (Because why not?) A member of one of the opening bands, who I would totally marry/ fuck, played the violin while head-banging. This was the epitome of Fucking Cool, until he climbed up to a platform, crossed himself, and set a new standard for coolness by doing a backwards somersault back onto the stage. He is my hero.
4. Mistaken Rental
This evening Madelynn and I went to get a movie from the local video store. We carried it home without thinking, got inside, and then simultaneously realized that we’d gotten a DVD instead of VHS. A moment later, we discovered we’d also been given a porn movie by accident. When we returned it to the store, red-faced and embarrassed, our clerk, a girl our age, couldn’t stop laughing at us- “I was surprised to see you getting that sort of movie… but I thought, we’ll that’s a first.”
Before we left, the entire video staff enjoyed a good chuckle at our expense.
5. Porn Antics
Story #4 is funnier when you learn that, in fact, we’d intentionally rented a porn movie from that very same store only two weeks before. That time, when we got up to the counter the clerk loudly queried “Can I just confirm that you got this from the adult section?”, while Carolyn hide in the new releases, Madelynn cowered, and I, having been designated Porn Purchaser for the evening, bravely nodded “yes” and wanted to die. When we returned to the apartment, thoughtlessly leaving the movie on the couch, Hope wandered in, picked it up, and read out loud… “Hansel and Gretel… everyone wants to eat her. Even the witch.”, and asked, bewildered, “Um, Guys? Hansel and Gretel isn’t a PORN movie, is it?” At which point Carolyn made a hasty exit, and I was left to haltingly explain our actions. (Reason: For Shits and Giggles.)
If you’re wondering, the porn SO was not worth the shame & agony.
So, like, I’m still alive and all. I have other stories, but most of them center around unfortunate and/ or unpleasant things happening to me. The newest addition in that series was my discovery this afternoon, when reading a poster at the library, that my Germany History seminar, already by far the most frightful part of my academic week, will be open to the public this Tuesday. A visiting lecturer will be attending, in addition to whatever portion of the entire campus desires to listen in as Professor grills his students, to my endless excruciating pain. Boy am I looking forward to Tuesday.
P.S. I just have to add this addendum to Story #5. Before settling upon “Hansel and Gretel”, we came across countless distinctly clever titles, including “Black Cock Down” and “Mister Beaver Goes To Afghanistan”. It warms my heart to imagine that that somewhere, in a tumble-down basement or unobtrusive apartment, someone is watching Gretel & her buddies get it on. And his/ her mind is entirely focused on coming up with another bit of witty word-play.
So here are a few things I’ve done recently:
1. Musical Racing
On Friday the man who runs the library room I study in said “have a good weekend” to me for the first time ever. He doesn’t usually speak to Non-Regulars, except to suggest that they remove their feet and water bottles from the furniture, so the implication that I may have become a Regular pleased me immensely. In response I set my cd player to my favorite Lucksmiths song, which lasts exactly 1:59 minutes, and then raced the song home. I beat the song (by 2 seconds), and then spent at least 300 seconds out of breath and giggling hysterically. Ah, Fridays. :)
2. Ozi Dreams
I dreamed last night that I wanted a Uzi. This is peculiar because, when conscious, I’m not even entirely sure whether I’d even recognize an Uzi if I saw one. The night before that I dreamed that I wanted a teddy. (Garment, not stuffed animal. When I am awake I do not even particularly approve of such things.) Madelynn suggests that my dreams obviously express a desire for Sex And Violence, and that I’m probably stifling my Id. When I protested that my conscious mind desired such reasonable and respectable things as an old-lady nightgown, she said that just proved her point. Stupid controlling super-ego. :)
3. Somersaulting Fiddler
I went to an Eve 6 concert. (Because why not?) A member of one of the opening bands, who I would totally marry/ fuck, played the violin while head-banging. This was the epitome of Fucking Cool, until he climbed up to a platform, crossed himself, and set a new standard for coolness by doing a backwards somersault back onto the stage. He is my hero.
4. Mistaken Rental
This evening Madelynn and I went to get a movie from the local video store. We carried it home without thinking, got inside, and then simultaneously realized that we’d gotten a DVD instead of VHS. A moment later, we discovered we’d also been given a porn movie by accident. When we returned it to the store, red-faced and embarrassed, our clerk, a girl our age, couldn’t stop laughing at us- “I was surprised to see you getting that sort of movie… but I thought, we’ll that’s a first.”
Before we left, the entire video staff enjoyed a good chuckle at our expense.
5. Porn Antics
Story #4 is funnier when you learn that, in fact, we’d intentionally rented a porn movie from that very same store only two weeks before. That time, when we got up to the counter the clerk loudly queried “Can I just confirm that you got this from the adult section?”, while Carolyn hide in the new releases, Madelynn cowered, and I, having been designated Porn Purchaser for the evening, bravely nodded “yes” and wanted to die. When we returned to the apartment, thoughtlessly leaving the movie on the couch, Hope wandered in, picked it up, and read out loud… “Hansel and Gretel… everyone wants to eat her. Even the witch.”, and asked, bewildered, “Um, Guys? Hansel and Gretel isn’t a PORN movie, is it?” At which point Carolyn made a hasty exit, and I was left to haltingly explain our actions. (Reason: For Shits and Giggles.)
If you’re wondering, the porn SO was not worth the shame & agony.
So, like, I’m still alive and all. I have other stories, but most of them center around unfortunate and/ or unpleasant things happening to me. The newest addition in that series was my discovery this afternoon, when reading a poster at the library, that my Germany History seminar, already by far the most frightful part of my academic week, will be open to the public this Tuesday. A visiting lecturer will be attending, in addition to whatever portion of the entire campus desires to listen in as Professor grills his students, to my endless excruciating pain. Boy am I looking forward to Tuesday.
P.S. I just have to add this addendum to Story #5. Before settling upon “Hansel and Gretel”, we came across countless distinctly clever titles, including “Black Cock Down” and “Mister Beaver Goes To Afghanistan”. It warms my heart to imagine that that somewhere, in a tumble-down basement or unobtrusive apartment, someone is watching Gretel & her buddies get it on. And his/ her mind is entirely focused on coming up with another bit of witty word-play.