The Five Legends [Ch. 9]
The Five Legends
Beta: hell_angel_v2
AU/Romance/Drama
BandFic with Yunho/Jaejoong and some slight Yoochun/Junsu.
PG-13 (might increase)
9/?
Summary: In the Korean music business, there were five young men who were called the future of Korea's music. Although only in their early twenties, they already were rising legends ready to take over the world. In fact, Japan, Korea, and most of Asia were under their spell already, and all that remained was the Western world. However, due to the language barrier, most believed that they wouldn't be able to take over the Western music scene. But due to the plan of one man, the five men came together to become not five separate legends, but to form one myth, one legend, which would one day, be able to rule the world's music and go down in history.
Prologue&Chapter 1 | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Jaejoong sat morosely in the kitchen, playing with a glass of soju. He knew he shouldn’t get drunk on a night before learning new choreography, but he couldn’t help it; he needed the numbness being drunk gave him.
The past month had been exhausting. Every single day there were tight schedules; they had to go from one place to another, doing one thing then another, without any rest while coming home late at night only to wake up early the next day at the crack of dawn.
Starting from last week, everybody’s voices had begun to crack, even Junsu’s. When it first happened, everyone had merely shrugged it off, thinking it was just a one time thing. But when everyone else’s voice began to crack, they knew it was a sign of exhaustion.
Everyone had gotten skinnier; those who were originally stick thin in the beginning became even skinnier. Some of the clothes they knew had fit them a month ago now hung loosely on their bodies.
“What are you doing?”
Startled, Jaejoong turned towards the door. It was Junsu, frowning at him.
“You do know that we have choreography practice tomorrow, right?” Junsu asked, continuing to frown.
“Yes, yes, I know.” His words came out slurred, his tongue seemingly unable to form coherent words.
“If you know, then why are you sitting here getting drunk instead of sleeping?” Junsu retorted.
“Whaddya talking about? ‘M not drunk.” Jaejoong stood up, one hand holding the table for support while his other hand continued to cradle a glass of soju. He tried to take a step towards Junsu, but he ended up swaying, the world tilting around him.
Junsu scoffed, saying in disgust as he walked over, “If you’re not drunk, you should be able to walk a straight line, but at the rate you’re swaying, you’ll be lucky to not fall on your face when you take a step.”
“Shuddup. Of course I can. Just watch me.” He took a step, swaying dangerously as he did. He took another step, and the hand supporting him slipped off the table, leaving him bereft of stable support. As he took yet another step, he staggered, and the glass in his hand crashed to the floor, shattering into pieces of glittering glass.
“Oh, whoops,” Jaejoong murmured. He slowly bent down, reaching out to pick up the pieces. But before he could, he was pushed out of the way roughly, a hand beating his to the glass on the floor.
“Go sit down, hyung,” Junsu snapped. “You’re in no condition to be picking up glass.”
“No,” Jaejoong protested, “it’s my mess; I should be the one cleaning it up.”
“Well, you’re drunk,” Junsu bit off. “You’ll probably end up cutting yourself and creating a bigger mess.” He picked up the glass with sharp, jerky movements, throwing them angrily into the trash can.
“Hey, you don’t have to act like a jerk. I’m not an idiot,” Jaejoong said, starting to get angry. He was making an effort to speak clearly without any traces of having a slur.
“Then stop acting like one!” Junsu finished cleaning up and stood up, brushing his clothes clean. “You knew that we have practice tomorrow, and yet you still decided to get fucking drunk. If that’s not acting like an idiot, I don’t know what is.”
“At least I’m not doing something that’ll hurt the group.” Jaejoong’s hands were clenched, mouth tight.
Junsu laughed sardonically. “When you have a hangover tomorrow, you’ll just slow us down. That’s hurting us because then we’ll have to go slower and not get enough moves learned before we head off to do another activity.”
“Just because I’m going to have a hangover tomorrow doesn’t mean I’ll slow us down!” Jaejoong snapped.
“Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Junsu smirked.
“What’s going on?” It was Yunho, rubbing his eyes. He looked tired, shadows under his eyes. Changmin and Yoochun stood behind him, both looking exhausted.
“Jaejoong-hyung’s drunk.” Junsu’s mouth was tight as he looked over at them.
“I’m not drunk!” Jaejoong exclaimed.
Yunho’s eyes swept over the mess on the floor and looked at Junsu’s and Jaejoong’s faces. He finally said, “Go to sleep, Junsu. I’ll take care of the rest.”
As Junsu started to walk back to his room, Yunho looked at Yoochun and mouthed go sleep in my bed tonight; I’ll take care of Jaejoong.
Yoochun nodded, and he pulled Changmin along with him as he headed back to their room.
Jaejoong whispered, “I’m not drunk, Yunho. I’m not.”
Yunho looked back at him and sighed. “Alright, Jaejoong. You’re not drunk. Now, let’s get you to bed, hm? We have a long day tomorrow.” He held out his hand and beckoned.
Jaejoong placed his hand in Yunho’s, and as they walked, he said softly, “You don’t trust me, do you, Yunho?”
Yunho’s hand tightened and he turned to gaze at Jaejoong. “What are you talking about? Of course I trust you.”
“If you do, then why don’t you believe me when I say I’m not drunk?” Jaejoong’s eyes were tired, looking red and swollen.
Yunho didn’t say a word as he led them into Jaejoong’s bedroom. He gently pushed Jaejoong onto his bed, and as Jaejoong sat down, looking tired beyond reason, he said, “Jaejoong… I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone ever since I started working in the entertainment business. There’s no good reason why you think I don’t trust you.”
Jaejoong looked at him, silent. He glanced down at their entwined hands and pulled, hard. He pulled hard enough that Yunho was forced to take a step towards him, and as Yunho came closer, he murmured, “Good.” He gestured for Yunho to come even closer, beckoning for Yunho’s head to be placed next to his.
Yunho leaned closer, curious. “I love you, Yunho. I love you,” Jaejoong whispered tenderly.
Yunho jumped, shocked. He looked down at Jaejoong, eyes searching anxiously. “What did you just say?” he gasped.
~*~
Did Jaejoong really just say what he thought he said? He couldn’t think straight; his mind was still echoing Jaejoong’s “I love you”. He heard his mouth ask, did you mean what you just said? But his mind was still wrapped around wondering if Jaejoong really said what he thought he did.
He heard Jaejoong’s amused laugh and his low voice, saying, “Of course I did. Why else would I say it if I didn’t mean it?”
Taking a deep breath, Yunho managed to say, in a strangled voice, “I think you’re drunk, Jaejoong. Go to sleep.”
He saw Jaejoong’s eyes flash. “You don’t trust me, do you?” His voice was sad, almost the same tone as when he asked the exact same question minutes ago and yet it was different; it held a different tinge.
“It’s not a matter of trust, Jaejoong. All I know is that you’re more than likely drunk and being drunk can make your feelings seem different.” Yunho looked away, not wanting to look at him.
Jaejoong tightened his hold on Yunho’s hand. His mouth narrowed, and Jaejoong pulled hard, hard enough that Yunho fell onto the bed next to him. He looked down at him, and whispered, as he slowly leaned down, “It’s okay, Yunho-yah. You don’t have to answer me right this moment; I just want you to know that I’ll be here, waiting.”
His eyes flicked down to Yunho’s lips, and his head slowly came down, lips brushing softly against Yunho’s. After a moment of hovering above, Jaejoong’s lips fully pressed against Yunho’s, moving gently against unmoving lips.
Yunho simply lay there, feeling Jaejoong’s soft lips move against his. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in his stomach. His lips started to move slightly, but as they did, Jaejoong pulled away, refusing to look at him.
Jaejoong got off the bed, trying to move over into Yoochun’s bed. But he staggered, his legs unsteady. His hands tried to grasp something in order to steady himself, but Yunho caught his shoulders, keeping him upright.
“You’re a little too woozy to be walking over there, Jaejoong,” Yunho said. His hands turned Jaejoong’s shoulders, steering them both back to Jaejoong’s bed.
Jaejoong clambered under the covers, saying softly, “Good night, Yunho-yah.”
Yunho murmured an equally soft, “Good night, Jaejoong,” before climbing into Yoochun’s bed, turning off the lights and throwing the room into complete darkness.
As Jaejoong drifted into sleep, no matter how hard he tried to blink them away, tears kept sliding down his cheeks.
~*~
Yunho opened his eyes, tired beyond reason. He had barely slept last night; Jaejoong’s confession and kiss had kept replaying in his head, keeping him awake for most of the night.
He sighed, knowing that he was going to be scolded today. It didn’t help that Jaejoong would probably be stiffer than usual.
A knock sounded on the door, and on his way to open it, he saw Jaejoong, still burrowed deeply in his bed covers.
Another knock banged on the door, louder, and he wrenched the door open to see Changmin, hair sticking out in every direction, holding his alarm clock that was beeping insistently.
“Hyung, your clock is the most annoying thing I’ve known for all the years I’ve been alive,” Changmin said crossly. “How do you turn this damn thing off?”
Yunho chuckled and stretched out a hand to press a button on the clock’s side. The beeping stopped immediately. “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius, Changmin? How come you can’t figure out how to turn off a simple alarm?” he teased.
“It’s way too early in the morning for my brain to work, hyung,” Changmin grumbled. His eyes glanced at Jaejoong, still sleeping. “Is he all right?” he asked softly.
Yunho nodded and looked down at the clock he was now holding in his hands. He didn’t want to look into Changmin’s eyes; they sometimes saw far too much for a person of his age. “He’ll just have a really bad headache today.”
“What happened last night after we left?” Changmin asked curiously.
Yunho fiddled around with the clock in his hands. “Nothing much. He just kept trying to persuade me that he wasn’t drunk. It took me a while to convince him to go to sleep,” he laughed softly.
“Is that the only thing that happened?” Changmin’s voice held a wealth of meaning.
Yunho looked up sharply, eyes searching. “Yes, it was,” he said slowly.
Changmin simply raised an eyebrow, gaze skeptical.
A groan sounded behind Yunho, and they turned to see Jaejoong stretch. “My head hurts,” he complained. “What happened last night?”
Yunho and Changmin shared a glance, both wondering what to say.
“You got drunk.” Junsu appeared behind them, his voice dryly amused, eyes sharply assessing Jaejoong.
“I…did? But I thought we have to learn new choreography today.” Jaejoong tenderly rubbed his temples, trying to ease his hangover.
“We do.”
Jaejoong stared at them in shock. “Oh, I’m going to be in so much trouble today,” he moaned.
~*~
Later that night, as Yunho prepared for bed as usual, his body was tired, but his mind was confused. Jaejoong, for the entire day, had treated him as usual, acting like nothing had happened last night. Even though he had said that he would wait for him, did he mean that he would pretend that nothing had happened?
He thought Jaejoong would act differently after last night. Of course, there was the slight possibility that he had been joking, but the Jaejoong he knew wasn’t the type to say things, especially important things like this, that he didn’t mean.
So then, why would he act this way? Yunho paused in hanging up his clothes and went through all the interactions he had with Jaejoong today. Jaejoong had teased him, taken care of him, helped him; it all fell under the category of things he regularly did.
But why did he, Yunho, care about this? Shouldn’t he feel that Jaejoong treating him normally was best? After all, Jaejoong was in love with him, and he only loved Jaejoong as a friend… right?
~*~
Changmin sat quietly in his room, holding a book while music softly played in the background. It was one of the extremely rare days where they were able to leave early and go home, able to do what they wished to do.
Although he was holding one of his favorite books, he wasn’t reading it. His mind was lost in wondering what had happened between Jaejoong and Yunho two days ago, when they had started acting strangely. To all appearances, they seemed as close as ever, however, if someone looked closely enough, they would be able to see the uncertainty in Yunho’s eyes and the fine lines around Jaejoong’s.
Jaejoong didn’t seem to be anymore different than usual, what with his eccentric behavior, but when he was alone and thought no one was looking at him, he stared off into the distance, lost in his thoughts.
Changmin was worried for them, and at the same time, curious. It was unlike the two oldest members of the group to simply hold their thoughts in; they were often the most vocal in the group.
His eyes wandered absently over the room he shared with Yunho and Junsu, noticing the little details that marked a corner the possession of a different person.
Junsu’s corner was the messiest, papers, clothes, shoes, scattered everywhere. His was the neatest, books piled neatly in either the corner of his desk or on his bookshelf. Yunho’s corner was the perfect mix between messy and neat; neat enough that it wouldn’t be hard to find things in, and yet, still messy enough that it showed its possessor as a normal human, too lazy to clean.
But recently, Yunho’s corner had gotten messier than normal. He had seemed to lose interest in everything that wasn’t required.
Changmin didn’t know if Yoochun or Junsu had noticed the change in Jaejoong and Yunho, and he didn’t plan on asking. If they haven’t noticed yet, then there was no use in alarming them. He could only hope that Yunho and Jaejoong could figure out their problem before the other two noticed.
~*~
Jaejoong lay on his bed, ears plugged with music. He simply stared up at the ceiling, eyes tracing the various cracks in the paint. He was tired; days of acting were taking their toll on him.
“Hyung? Are you awake?” Changmin’s soft voice came from the doorway.
Jaejoong turned his head to gaze at him. He half-smiled, welcoming Changmin inside silently. His hand softly patted the part of the bed next to him, inviting him to sit.
“What are you doing here, hyung? Are you okay?” Changmin asked quietly, concerned.
Jaejoong nodded, taking out his earphones as he did. “I’m fine, Changmin-ah. I just wanted to lay down for a bit.”
Silence fell between them, Jaejoong lost in his thoughts while Changmin observed him from the corner of his eye. Minutes passed by, and Jaejoong decided to sit up, saying with forced cheerfulness, “I’m going to go out and see what the others are up to. What do you want for dinner?”
His hand quickly ruffled Changmin’s hair, and he darted a glance at Changmin’s face, a fake smile playing on his face.
As he was about to leave the room, Changmin said, softly, “I hope you know what you’re doing, hyung. I don’t think Yunho-hyung is going to be able to hold out for much longer.”
Jaejoong’s hands unconsciously clenched, his eyes going wide as he realized what Changmin meant. He swallowed, and whispered over his shoulder, “So you know what happened?”
Changmin sighed, and said, “Just guessing. It’s not really that obvious, but to people who spend much of their time observing you two, it’s clear that something happened between you guys on the night you got drunk.”
Jaejoong stared at the door in front of him, eyes unseeing. “Can you not tell anyone about this?” he said in an undertone.
Changmin laughed, surprised. “Of course not, hyung. It’s apparent that it’s between you and Yunho-hyung; there’s no place for anyone else between your relationship.”
Jaejoong nodded once, silently, before he opened the door and went outside.
~*~
“Thanks for the good work everyone!” Yunho’s eyes followed Jaejoong as he said goodbye to the staff after the end of a long day.
Over the past day, he had felt his patience stretch thin, finally breaking a few moments ago when Jaejoong had patted his back. He had tried to catch his hand, but Jaejoong had quickly dodged him, feigning an interest in the stylist’s clothes.
He waited until they were back home, and Changmin, Yoochun, and Junsu had gone to bed, leaving him and Jaejoong alone.
They were sitting in the living room, watching TV. They were usually the ones who slept the latest, and that particular habit often served as a beginning for many conversations that had brought them closer.
“Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho began softly, his eyes trained on the television.
“Yes?” Jaejoong’s voice was muted.
“Do you remember what happened a week ago? The night you got drunk?”
Jaejoong hesitated. “Not really… Why?” His hands were clenched tight, his knuckles almost white in color.
“Because you said something really important, and I was wondering if you remembered what it was.”
Jaejoong took a quick indrawn breath before answering. “I… What did I say?”
Yunho’s eyes now turned to look fully at him. “You said you loved me.” His words were almost unheard, so softly were they said.
Jaejoong’s eyes widened slightly, and his hands started to tremble. He laughed nervously. “Really?”
“Yes.”
Neither of them spoke for several minutes, tension becoming more apparent as each minute passed.
“Do you want an answer to that?” Yunho asked quietly.
Jaejoong blinked rapidly, not knowing what to say. “I…” he faltered. “How do you know that I wasn’t joking?” he hedged.
Yunho suddenly came out of his seat, deciding to pace restlessly before coming to a stop in front of Jaejoong. “Do you mean to say you were joking?” he challenged. “Because if you were, we can stop this conversation right this moment.”
At Yunho’s unspoken question in his eyes, Jaejoong averted his eyes and shook his head wordlessly.
“Jaejoong, look at me.” Yunho’s voice was unexpectedly gentle. “Do you want an honest answer?”
Jaejoong closed his eyes for a moment and turned to look at Yunho. “Yes,” he whispered. “I really want to know.”
It was Yunho’s turn to close his eyes; he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, ready to speak the truth. “Jaejoong-ah, I’m happy, really happy, that you love me,” he began.
At his words, Jaejoong looked away, teeth clenched against the tears in the back of his eyes.
“No, Jaejoong, look at me,” Yunho said desperately. “This isn’t easy for me to do.”
Slowly, Jaejoong turned his head back to Yunho’s face. His face was expressionless, wiped clean of all his emotions.
“But first though, I want to know something. Why did you pretend that nothing had happened between us the night you got drunk? I’ve been frustrated all week trying to think up of a reason why you would do something like that.”
Jaejoong laughed humorlessly. “Because, Yunho, what else could I do? Even though I said that I would wait for you, I didn’t know if you would actually accept me after you knew of my love for you. The only thing I could think of to do was to pretend that I had forgotten everything; that way, you could blame my being drunk and not take what I said seriously.”
Yunho stared at him, speechless. “But why would you do that? Did you think that after going through so much, I would simply ignore and reject you?”
A bitter half-smile curled Jaejoong’s lips. “It’s not the first time it would happen. And besides, aren’t you going to do it right now?”
Yunho reached out with both hands and grasped Jaejoong’s shoulders. “I’m not going to reject you. I can tell you that much. I don’t know what my feelings are for you right now, but I know that my feelings for you aren’t simply what friends feel for each other.”
Jaejoong, astonished, looked up into Yunho’s eyes. “Really?” he asked hoarsely, hope tinting his voice.
Yunho nodded. “You said you would wait for me, right? Well, can you wait for me until I get my feelings straightened out?”
Jaejoong had been nodding since Yunho had finished his first question. “Yes, yes, of course I can,” he replied, happiness spreading across his face. “I can wait until whenever you get your feelings straightened out.”
Yunho smiled, a content smile showing on his face. “Good,” he said quietly. He held out his hand, and as Jaejoong took it, he pulled him towards the bedrooms. “Go to sleep now, Jaejoong-ah. I’m sure you had a really long week.” The hand that wasn’t holding Jaejoong’s lightly touched Jaejoong’s cheek.
Jaejoong gently pressed his cheek against Yunho’s hand, his eyes closing halfway in joy. “Good night, Yunho-yah,” he murmured before walking towards his bedroom.
“Good night, Jaejoongie.” He stood outside of his bedroom, waiting for Jaejoong to go inside before opening his door. A thought struck him, and he said, as Jaejoong was about to close the door, “Oh, and Jaejoong, you don’t have to act like normal in front of everybody else. You don’t have to hold back. If you want to hug me, hug me, if you want to touch me, touch me… Just behave like how you want to behave.” A small grin showed on his face.
Jaejoong laughed softly. “Then don’t blame me when the fans get too crazy over our sudden increased affection on camera.”
Yunho fully grinned. “I won’t.” He gestured for Jaejoong to go inside.
Jaejoong’s mouth twitched. “I’m going, I’m going.” He glanced at Yunho one last time before closing the door.
Yunho, as soon as he was inside, let out a deep breath he had been holding. Telling Jaejoong the truth of what he knew so far wasn’t easy, but once he had, his heart had felt so much freer.
He got in bed, smiling.
Beta: hell_angel_v2
AU/Romance/Drama
BandFic with Yunho/Jaejoong and some slight Yoochun/Junsu.
PG-13 (might increase)
9/?
Summary: In the Korean music business, there were five young men who were called the future of Korea's music. Although only in their early twenties, they already were rising legends ready to take over the world. In fact, Japan, Korea, and most of Asia were under their spell already, and all that remained was the Western world. However, due to the language barrier, most believed that they wouldn't be able to take over the Western music scene. But due to the plan of one man, the five men came together to become not five separate legends, but to form one myth, one legend, which would one day, be able to rule the world's music and go down in history.
Prologue&Chapter 1 | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Jaejoong sat morosely in the kitchen, playing with a glass of soju. He knew he shouldn’t get drunk on a night before learning new choreography, but he couldn’t help it; he needed the numbness being drunk gave him.
The past month had been exhausting. Every single day there were tight schedules; they had to go from one place to another, doing one thing then another, without any rest while coming home late at night only to wake up early the next day at the crack of dawn.
Starting from last week, everybody’s voices had begun to crack, even Junsu’s. When it first happened, everyone had merely shrugged it off, thinking it was just a one time thing. But when everyone else’s voice began to crack, they knew it was a sign of exhaustion.
Everyone had gotten skinnier; those who were originally stick thin in the beginning became even skinnier. Some of the clothes they knew had fit them a month ago now hung loosely on their bodies.
“What are you doing?”
Startled, Jaejoong turned towards the door. It was Junsu, frowning at him.
“You do know that we have choreography practice tomorrow, right?” Junsu asked, continuing to frown.
“Yes, yes, I know.” His words came out slurred, his tongue seemingly unable to form coherent words.
“If you know, then why are you sitting here getting drunk instead of sleeping?” Junsu retorted.
“Whaddya talking about? ‘M not drunk.” Jaejoong stood up, one hand holding the table for support while his other hand continued to cradle a glass of soju. He tried to take a step towards Junsu, but he ended up swaying, the world tilting around him.
Junsu scoffed, saying in disgust as he walked over, “If you’re not drunk, you should be able to walk a straight line, but at the rate you’re swaying, you’ll be lucky to not fall on your face when you take a step.”
“Shuddup. Of course I can. Just watch me.” He took a step, swaying dangerously as he did. He took another step, and the hand supporting him slipped off the table, leaving him bereft of stable support. As he took yet another step, he staggered, and the glass in his hand crashed to the floor, shattering into pieces of glittering glass.
“Oh, whoops,” Jaejoong murmured. He slowly bent down, reaching out to pick up the pieces. But before he could, he was pushed out of the way roughly, a hand beating his to the glass on the floor.
“Go sit down, hyung,” Junsu snapped. “You’re in no condition to be picking up glass.”
“No,” Jaejoong protested, “it’s my mess; I should be the one cleaning it up.”
“Well, you’re drunk,” Junsu bit off. “You’ll probably end up cutting yourself and creating a bigger mess.” He picked up the glass with sharp, jerky movements, throwing them angrily into the trash can.
“Hey, you don’t have to act like a jerk. I’m not an idiot,” Jaejoong said, starting to get angry. He was making an effort to speak clearly without any traces of having a slur.
“Then stop acting like one!” Junsu finished cleaning up and stood up, brushing his clothes clean. “You knew that we have practice tomorrow, and yet you still decided to get fucking drunk. If that’s not acting like an idiot, I don’t know what is.”
“At least I’m not doing something that’ll hurt the group.” Jaejoong’s hands were clenched, mouth tight.
Junsu laughed sardonically. “When you have a hangover tomorrow, you’ll just slow us down. That’s hurting us because then we’ll have to go slower and not get enough moves learned before we head off to do another activity.”
“Just because I’m going to have a hangover tomorrow doesn’t mean I’ll slow us down!” Jaejoong snapped.
“Well, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?” Junsu smirked.
“What’s going on?” It was Yunho, rubbing his eyes. He looked tired, shadows under his eyes. Changmin and Yoochun stood behind him, both looking exhausted.
“Jaejoong-hyung’s drunk.” Junsu’s mouth was tight as he looked over at them.
“I’m not drunk!” Jaejoong exclaimed.
Yunho’s eyes swept over the mess on the floor and looked at Junsu’s and Jaejoong’s faces. He finally said, “Go to sleep, Junsu. I’ll take care of the rest.”
As Junsu started to walk back to his room, Yunho looked at Yoochun and mouthed go sleep in my bed tonight; I’ll take care of Jaejoong.
Yoochun nodded, and he pulled Changmin along with him as he headed back to their room.
Jaejoong whispered, “I’m not drunk, Yunho. I’m not.”
Yunho looked back at him and sighed. “Alright, Jaejoong. You’re not drunk. Now, let’s get you to bed, hm? We have a long day tomorrow.” He held out his hand and beckoned.
Jaejoong placed his hand in Yunho’s, and as they walked, he said softly, “You don’t trust me, do you, Yunho?”
Yunho’s hand tightened and he turned to gaze at Jaejoong. “What are you talking about? Of course I trust you.”
“If you do, then why don’t you believe me when I say I’m not drunk?” Jaejoong’s eyes were tired, looking red and swollen.
Yunho didn’t say a word as he led them into Jaejoong’s bedroom. He gently pushed Jaejoong onto his bed, and as Jaejoong sat down, looking tired beyond reason, he said, “Jaejoong… I trust you more than I’ve ever trusted anyone ever since I started working in the entertainment business. There’s no good reason why you think I don’t trust you.”
Jaejoong looked at him, silent. He glanced down at their entwined hands and pulled, hard. He pulled hard enough that Yunho was forced to take a step towards him, and as Yunho came closer, he murmured, “Good.” He gestured for Yunho to come even closer, beckoning for Yunho’s head to be placed next to his.
Yunho leaned closer, curious. “I love you, Yunho. I love you,” Jaejoong whispered tenderly.
Yunho jumped, shocked. He looked down at Jaejoong, eyes searching anxiously. “What did you just say?” he gasped.
~*~
Did Jaejoong really just say what he thought he said? He couldn’t think straight; his mind was still echoing Jaejoong’s “I love you”. He heard his mouth ask, did you mean what you just said? But his mind was still wrapped around wondering if Jaejoong really said what he thought he did.
He heard Jaejoong’s amused laugh and his low voice, saying, “Of course I did. Why else would I say it if I didn’t mean it?”
Taking a deep breath, Yunho managed to say, in a strangled voice, “I think you’re drunk, Jaejoong. Go to sleep.”
He saw Jaejoong’s eyes flash. “You don’t trust me, do you?” His voice was sad, almost the same tone as when he asked the exact same question minutes ago and yet it was different; it held a different tinge.
“It’s not a matter of trust, Jaejoong. All I know is that you’re more than likely drunk and being drunk can make your feelings seem different.” Yunho looked away, not wanting to look at him.
Jaejoong tightened his hold on Yunho’s hand. His mouth narrowed, and Jaejoong pulled hard, hard enough that Yunho fell onto the bed next to him. He looked down at him, and whispered, as he slowly leaned down, “It’s okay, Yunho-yah. You don’t have to answer me right this moment; I just want you to know that I’ll be here, waiting.”
His eyes flicked down to Yunho’s lips, and his head slowly came down, lips brushing softly against Yunho’s. After a moment of hovering above, Jaejoong’s lips fully pressed against Yunho’s, moving gently against unmoving lips.
Yunho simply lay there, feeling Jaejoong’s soft lips move against his. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in his stomach. His lips started to move slightly, but as they did, Jaejoong pulled away, refusing to look at him.
Jaejoong got off the bed, trying to move over into Yoochun’s bed. But he staggered, his legs unsteady. His hands tried to grasp something in order to steady himself, but Yunho caught his shoulders, keeping him upright.
“You’re a little too woozy to be walking over there, Jaejoong,” Yunho said. His hands turned Jaejoong’s shoulders, steering them both back to Jaejoong’s bed.
Jaejoong clambered under the covers, saying softly, “Good night, Yunho-yah.”
Yunho murmured an equally soft, “Good night, Jaejoong,” before climbing into Yoochun’s bed, turning off the lights and throwing the room into complete darkness.
As Jaejoong drifted into sleep, no matter how hard he tried to blink them away, tears kept sliding down his cheeks.
~*~
Yunho opened his eyes, tired beyond reason. He had barely slept last night; Jaejoong’s confession and kiss had kept replaying in his head, keeping him awake for most of the night.
He sighed, knowing that he was going to be scolded today. It didn’t help that Jaejoong would probably be stiffer than usual.
A knock sounded on the door, and on his way to open it, he saw Jaejoong, still burrowed deeply in his bed covers.
Another knock banged on the door, louder, and he wrenched the door open to see Changmin, hair sticking out in every direction, holding his alarm clock that was beeping insistently.
“Hyung, your clock is the most annoying thing I’ve known for all the years I’ve been alive,” Changmin said crossly. “How do you turn this damn thing off?”
Yunho chuckled and stretched out a hand to press a button on the clock’s side. The beeping stopped immediately. “Aren’t you supposed to be a genius, Changmin? How come you can’t figure out how to turn off a simple alarm?” he teased.
“It’s way too early in the morning for my brain to work, hyung,” Changmin grumbled. His eyes glanced at Jaejoong, still sleeping. “Is he all right?” he asked softly.
Yunho nodded and looked down at the clock he was now holding in his hands. He didn’t want to look into Changmin’s eyes; they sometimes saw far too much for a person of his age. “He’ll just have a really bad headache today.”
“What happened last night after we left?” Changmin asked curiously.
Yunho fiddled around with the clock in his hands. “Nothing much. He just kept trying to persuade me that he wasn’t drunk. It took me a while to convince him to go to sleep,” he laughed softly.
“Is that the only thing that happened?” Changmin’s voice held a wealth of meaning.
Yunho looked up sharply, eyes searching. “Yes, it was,” he said slowly.
Changmin simply raised an eyebrow, gaze skeptical.
A groan sounded behind Yunho, and they turned to see Jaejoong stretch. “My head hurts,” he complained. “What happened last night?”
Yunho and Changmin shared a glance, both wondering what to say.
“You got drunk.” Junsu appeared behind them, his voice dryly amused, eyes sharply assessing Jaejoong.
“I…did? But I thought we have to learn new choreography today.” Jaejoong tenderly rubbed his temples, trying to ease his hangover.
“We do.”
Jaejoong stared at them in shock. “Oh, I’m going to be in so much trouble today,” he moaned.
~*~
Later that night, as Yunho prepared for bed as usual, his body was tired, but his mind was confused. Jaejoong, for the entire day, had treated him as usual, acting like nothing had happened last night. Even though he had said that he would wait for him, did he mean that he would pretend that nothing had happened?
He thought Jaejoong would act differently after last night. Of course, there was the slight possibility that he had been joking, but the Jaejoong he knew wasn’t the type to say things, especially important things like this, that he didn’t mean.
So then, why would he act this way? Yunho paused in hanging up his clothes and went through all the interactions he had with Jaejoong today. Jaejoong had teased him, taken care of him, helped him; it all fell under the category of things he regularly did.
But why did he, Yunho, care about this? Shouldn’t he feel that Jaejoong treating him normally was best? After all, Jaejoong was in love with him, and he only loved Jaejoong as a friend… right?
~*~
Changmin sat quietly in his room, holding a book while music softly played in the background. It was one of the extremely rare days where they were able to leave early and go home, able to do what they wished to do.
Although he was holding one of his favorite books, he wasn’t reading it. His mind was lost in wondering what had happened between Jaejoong and Yunho two days ago, when they had started acting strangely. To all appearances, they seemed as close as ever, however, if someone looked closely enough, they would be able to see the uncertainty in Yunho’s eyes and the fine lines around Jaejoong’s.
Jaejoong didn’t seem to be anymore different than usual, what with his eccentric behavior, but when he was alone and thought no one was looking at him, he stared off into the distance, lost in his thoughts.
Changmin was worried for them, and at the same time, curious. It was unlike the two oldest members of the group to simply hold their thoughts in; they were often the most vocal in the group.
His eyes wandered absently over the room he shared with Yunho and Junsu, noticing the little details that marked a corner the possession of a different person.
Junsu’s corner was the messiest, papers, clothes, shoes, scattered everywhere. His was the neatest, books piled neatly in either the corner of his desk or on his bookshelf. Yunho’s corner was the perfect mix between messy and neat; neat enough that it wouldn’t be hard to find things in, and yet, still messy enough that it showed its possessor as a normal human, too lazy to clean.
But recently, Yunho’s corner had gotten messier than normal. He had seemed to lose interest in everything that wasn’t required.
Changmin didn’t know if Yoochun or Junsu had noticed the change in Jaejoong and Yunho, and he didn’t plan on asking. If they haven’t noticed yet, then there was no use in alarming them. He could only hope that Yunho and Jaejoong could figure out their problem before the other two noticed.
~*~
Jaejoong lay on his bed, ears plugged with music. He simply stared up at the ceiling, eyes tracing the various cracks in the paint. He was tired; days of acting were taking their toll on him.
“Hyung? Are you awake?” Changmin’s soft voice came from the doorway.
Jaejoong turned his head to gaze at him. He half-smiled, welcoming Changmin inside silently. His hand softly patted the part of the bed next to him, inviting him to sit.
“What are you doing here, hyung? Are you okay?” Changmin asked quietly, concerned.
Jaejoong nodded, taking out his earphones as he did. “I’m fine, Changmin-ah. I just wanted to lay down for a bit.”
Silence fell between them, Jaejoong lost in his thoughts while Changmin observed him from the corner of his eye. Minutes passed by, and Jaejoong decided to sit up, saying with forced cheerfulness, “I’m going to go out and see what the others are up to. What do you want for dinner?”
His hand quickly ruffled Changmin’s hair, and he darted a glance at Changmin’s face, a fake smile playing on his face.
As he was about to leave the room, Changmin said, softly, “I hope you know what you’re doing, hyung. I don’t think Yunho-hyung is going to be able to hold out for much longer.”
Jaejoong’s hands unconsciously clenched, his eyes going wide as he realized what Changmin meant. He swallowed, and whispered over his shoulder, “So you know what happened?”
Changmin sighed, and said, “Just guessing. It’s not really that obvious, but to people who spend much of their time observing you two, it’s clear that something happened between you guys on the night you got drunk.”
Jaejoong stared at the door in front of him, eyes unseeing. “Can you not tell anyone about this?” he said in an undertone.
Changmin laughed, surprised. “Of course not, hyung. It’s apparent that it’s between you and Yunho-hyung; there’s no place for anyone else between your relationship.”
Jaejoong nodded once, silently, before he opened the door and went outside.
~*~
“Thanks for the good work everyone!” Yunho’s eyes followed Jaejoong as he said goodbye to the staff after the end of a long day.
Over the past day, he had felt his patience stretch thin, finally breaking a few moments ago when Jaejoong had patted his back. He had tried to catch his hand, but Jaejoong had quickly dodged him, feigning an interest in the stylist’s clothes.
He waited until they were back home, and Changmin, Yoochun, and Junsu had gone to bed, leaving him and Jaejoong alone.
They were sitting in the living room, watching TV. They were usually the ones who slept the latest, and that particular habit often served as a beginning for many conversations that had brought them closer.
“Jaejoong-ah…” Yunho began softly, his eyes trained on the television.
“Yes?” Jaejoong’s voice was muted.
“Do you remember what happened a week ago? The night you got drunk?”
Jaejoong hesitated. “Not really… Why?” His hands were clenched tight, his knuckles almost white in color.
“Because you said something really important, and I was wondering if you remembered what it was.”
Jaejoong took a quick indrawn breath before answering. “I… What did I say?”
Yunho’s eyes now turned to look fully at him. “You said you loved me.” His words were almost unheard, so softly were they said.
Jaejoong’s eyes widened slightly, and his hands started to tremble. He laughed nervously. “Really?”
“Yes.”
Neither of them spoke for several minutes, tension becoming more apparent as each minute passed.
“Do you want an answer to that?” Yunho asked quietly.
Jaejoong blinked rapidly, not knowing what to say. “I…” he faltered. “How do you know that I wasn’t joking?” he hedged.
Yunho suddenly came out of his seat, deciding to pace restlessly before coming to a stop in front of Jaejoong. “Do you mean to say you were joking?” he challenged. “Because if you were, we can stop this conversation right this moment.”
At Yunho’s unspoken question in his eyes, Jaejoong averted his eyes and shook his head wordlessly.
“Jaejoong, look at me.” Yunho’s voice was unexpectedly gentle. “Do you want an honest answer?”
Jaejoong closed his eyes for a moment and turned to look at Yunho. “Yes,” he whispered. “I really want to know.”
It was Yunho’s turn to close his eyes; he took a deep breath and opened his eyes, ready to speak the truth. “Jaejoong-ah, I’m happy, really happy, that you love me,” he began.
At his words, Jaejoong looked away, teeth clenched against the tears in the back of his eyes.
“No, Jaejoong, look at me,” Yunho said desperately. “This isn’t easy for me to do.”
Slowly, Jaejoong turned his head back to Yunho’s face. His face was expressionless, wiped clean of all his emotions.
“But first though, I want to know something. Why did you pretend that nothing had happened between us the night you got drunk? I’ve been frustrated all week trying to think up of a reason why you would do something like that.”
Jaejoong laughed humorlessly. “Because, Yunho, what else could I do? Even though I said that I would wait for you, I didn’t know if you would actually accept me after you knew of my love for you. The only thing I could think of to do was to pretend that I had forgotten everything; that way, you could blame my being drunk and not take what I said seriously.”
Yunho stared at him, speechless. “But why would you do that? Did you think that after going through so much, I would simply ignore and reject you?”
A bitter half-smile curled Jaejoong’s lips. “It’s not the first time it would happen. And besides, aren’t you going to do it right now?”
Yunho reached out with both hands and grasped Jaejoong’s shoulders. “I’m not going to reject you. I can tell you that much. I don’t know what my feelings are for you right now, but I know that my feelings for you aren’t simply what friends feel for each other.”
Jaejoong, astonished, looked up into Yunho’s eyes. “Really?” he asked hoarsely, hope tinting his voice.
Yunho nodded. “You said you would wait for me, right? Well, can you wait for me until I get my feelings straightened out?”
Jaejoong had been nodding since Yunho had finished his first question. “Yes, yes, of course I can,” he replied, happiness spreading across his face. “I can wait until whenever you get your feelings straightened out.”
Yunho smiled, a content smile showing on his face. “Good,” he said quietly. He held out his hand, and as Jaejoong took it, he pulled him towards the bedrooms. “Go to sleep now, Jaejoong-ah. I’m sure you had a really long week.” The hand that wasn’t holding Jaejoong’s lightly touched Jaejoong’s cheek.
Jaejoong gently pressed his cheek against Yunho’s hand, his eyes closing halfway in joy. “Good night, Yunho-yah,” he murmured before walking towards his bedroom.
“Good night, Jaejoongie.” He stood outside of his bedroom, waiting for Jaejoong to go inside before opening his door. A thought struck him, and he said, as Jaejoong was about to close the door, “Oh, and Jaejoong, you don’t have to act like normal in front of everybody else. You don’t have to hold back. If you want to hug me, hug me, if you want to touch me, touch me… Just behave like how you want to behave.” A small grin showed on his face.
Jaejoong laughed softly. “Then don’t blame me when the fans get too crazy over our sudden increased affection on camera.”
Yunho fully grinned. “I won’t.” He gestured for Jaejoong to go inside.
Jaejoong’s mouth twitched. “I’m going, I’m going.” He glanced at Yunho one last time before closing the door.
Yunho, as soon as he was inside, let out a deep breath he had been holding. Telling Jaejoong the truth of what he knew so far wasn’t easy, but once he had, his heart had felt so much freer.
He got in bed, smiling.