I've Had My Share Of That
sigh so i just love how one second i'm all happy and giddy and in the best mood i've probably been in in forever then the next i'm all depressed-emo queen again. i'm so sick of this shit. I'm blaming it on the rain. Rain is good to see every once in awhile esp. here in Tennessee during the summer, but when it's rained EVERDAY almost except for maybe two days for the past three weeks it sucks. and that in turn makes me all fuckin' depressed and shit. And i hate all these fuckin' warnings we have been getting and all the REALLY bad storms. Sorry it just takes me back to sixth grade in May when we had that tornado and it killed like three people and one of them happened to be one of my classmates older sister who had just gotten back from getting ready for her senior prom and not to mention just how close that tornado came to MY house. I hate storms. someone remind me why i want to go out to OKLAHOMA for college...
I dunno, i don't think its just the rain thats doing it to me either. I think its a mix of everything else that has been going on this past week too.
for one, this whole deal with Mitch. i'm sorry i don't like him, he likes me, i'm just going to break his heart when i tell him "oh hey i dont like you sorry" and he's already said he doesn't take rejection too well. hmm lets see who else didn't take rejection too well..i'll give you a hint..ex boyfriend that starts with a C and ends in ody. I've been thinking about him too. but not in the "oh i still like him" way. i'm over him now.
second, i called tommy. yes finally i called him the night before last. His grandmother answered and said that he had just called and was going to the car wash and then would be home. hi it was like 9:15 at night. he got off work at 8:30. i asked her to tell him that i called cause i knew he would call me back cause he always has. i stayed up till 12:30, fighting off the sleepyness state that was passing over me at around 11:30, and no call. so i went to sleep thinking "oh well, either he doesn't care that i called or his grandma didn't tell him i called." i woke up the next day, feeling like shit cause i was all thinking "well he doesn't even care you exist really." around 2:30 my phone rang. it was tommy. he said he didn't get home till 12 so he didn't call me back that night. then he said he didn't get out of the store till after 9 cause the manager that was closing is an idiot and doesn't know how to close right. he asked what i wanted and i told him. he said that was fine. asked him when we were gonna ride, he said he didn't know cause he's been working like a mad man at the store and mowing yards. then he was like "i've gotta let you go, cause i gotta leave and be at work in thirty minutes." so that was that.
third, my mom can't make up her mind. first we were going to go to the race in talladega then she decided we'd just go to the mountains cause the RV we were gonna take on the trip isn't dependable at all and it would be a two hour drive to the track and back to the hotel just to sleep. so it wouldn't be worth it (thats why i had to call tommy). NOW, we are just going to go to north carolina sometime and see all the race shops. so i gotta talk to tommy again and see if that is ok with him or if not he doesn't have to go. the only reason we are not going to the mountains NOW is cause my dad wants to go to the mountains when he gets back with just mom and mom doesn't want to go to the mountains twice soo yea whatever.
fourth, i have a feeling that when dad comes home on the 19th of next month things around here are going to suck ass. in a way things will be the same, except hi crystal will be ignored by her parents even more. wonderful.
fifth, i'm so sick of my mom going "yea she likes tommy and snover" to everyone she sees. Hi, yes i like them both. but i'm focused on tommy cause i won't get to see snover hardly anymore since he graduated now. but i'm sick of mom going "she likes snover, but he has a girlfriend now." hi i know that i don't care good for him. and then the "her eyes are on tommy, but i think tommy just thinks of her as like a little sister." TRUE HE MAY, i get that. i USED to think of him as the big brother i never had until 8th grade prom and i realized how hot he was. oh and it doens't help that she keeps going "oh and so and so said that 'wow tommy has really gotten hot now that hes older'"
i'm so sick of my life. i'm so sick of this house. i'm so sick of my family. i'm so sick of everything that is here.
have i graduated high school yet???
P.s Why am i listening to the Spice Girls?
But you know..if he, tommy, thinks of me as his little sister....then he must like making out with his little sister then..
I dunno, i don't think its just the rain thats doing it to me either. I think its a mix of everything else that has been going on this past week too.
for one, this whole deal with Mitch. i'm sorry i don't like him, he likes me, i'm just going to break his heart when i tell him "oh hey i dont like you sorry" and he's already said he doesn't take rejection too well. hmm lets see who else didn't take rejection too well..i'll give you a hint..ex boyfriend that starts with a C and ends in ody. I've been thinking about him too. but not in the "oh i still like him" way. i'm over him now.
second, i called tommy. yes finally i called him the night before last. His grandmother answered and said that he had just called and was going to the car wash and then would be home. hi it was like 9:15 at night. he got off work at 8:30. i asked her to tell him that i called cause i knew he would call me back cause he always has. i stayed up till 12:30, fighting off the sleepyness state that was passing over me at around 11:30, and no call. so i went to sleep thinking "oh well, either he doesn't care that i called or his grandma didn't tell him i called." i woke up the next day, feeling like shit cause i was all thinking "well he doesn't even care you exist really." around 2:30 my phone rang. it was tommy. he said he didn't get home till 12 so he didn't call me back that night. then he said he didn't get out of the store till after 9 cause the manager that was closing is an idiot and doesn't know how to close right. he asked what i wanted and i told him. he said that was fine. asked him when we were gonna ride, he said he didn't know cause he's been working like a mad man at the store and mowing yards. then he was like "i've gotta let you go, cause i gotta leave and be at work in thirty minutes." so that was that.
third, my mom can't make up her mind. first we were going to go to the race in talladega then she decided we'd just go to the mountains cause the RV we were gonna take on the trip isn't dependable at all and it would be a two hour drive to the track and back to the hotel just to sleep. so it wouldn't be worth it (thats why i had to call tommy). NOW, we are just going to go to north carolina sometime and see all the race shops. so i gotta talk to tommy again and see if that is ok with him or if not he doesn't have to go. the only reason we are not going to the mountains NOW is cause my dad wants to go to the mountains when he gets back with just mom and mom doesn't want to go to the mountains twice soo yea whatever.
fourth, i have a feeling that when dad comes home on the 19th of next month things around here are going to suck ass. in a way things will be the same, except hi crystal will be ignored by her parents even more. wonderful.
fifth, i'm so sick of my mom going "yea she likes tommy and snover" to everyone she sees. Hi, yes i like them both. but i'm focused on tommy cause i won't get to see snover hardly anymore since he graduated now. but i'm sick of mom going "she likes snover, but he has a girlfriend now." hi i know that i don't care good for him. and then the "her eyes are on tommy, but i think tommy just thinks of her as like a little sister." TRUE HE MAY, i get that. i USED to think of him as the big brother i never had until 8th grade prom and i realized how hot he was. oh and it doens't help that she keeps going "oh and so and so said that 'wow tommy has really gotten hot now that hes older'"
i'm so sick of my life. i'm so sick of this house. i'm so sick of my family. i'm so sick of everything that is here.
have i graduated high school yet???
P.s Why am i listening to the Spice Girls?
But you know..if he, tommy, thinks of me as his little sister....then he must like making out with his little sister then..