Fast Times at NAMBLA High: Part 19
Okay, so by post FTANH "in a couple of days" I meant "right this second." Hah. Happy early Thanksgiving!
Title: Fast Times at NAMBLA High: Part Nineteen
Author: Yours truly
Fandom: The Daily Show... with a smattering of guest appearances.
Pairing: Including but not limited to:
Jon/Stephen, Stephen/Paul, Stephen/Craig Kilborn, Jon/Anderson Cooper, Paul/Amy, Rob/Frustration, Ed/Confusion, (Rob/Frustration)/(Ed/Confusion), Mo Rocca/Lewis Black, Sam/Jason, Demetri Martin/Nathan Corddry, Bob Novak/Hair nets, Aasif Mandvi/Tucker Carlson, Stone Phillips/Barbara Walters, Dan Bakkedahl/Rob Riggle, Dane Cook/His ego, Dave Gorman/John Oliver, Jerry Seinfeld/Steve Carell, Bill O’Reilly/Hatred, Keith Olbermann/Everyone, John Hodgeman/Bill Gates, Tucker/Craig, Aasif/Anderson, John Hodgman/Sarah Vowell, Will Ferrell/MOP?, Keith/Dennis Leary, George Clooney/Charm
Featured pairing(s): Nate/Demetri
Rating: PG-13 for language and… other things
Warning: Crack: it's what's for dinner. Other warnings: AU, drug use, underage drinking, het crap, and Will Ferrell being creepy. For this specific chapter? Fluff. It’s like a bunny had sex with a kitten and their offspring was raised by the Snuggles bear. Seriously. THAT FLUFFY.
A/N: Erm, hey guys! *ducks from garbage being thrown* Yeah, so it’s been a while. So yes. Let me just start of with this: I’m sorry. Seriously. If anyone is still interested in this story, it would be a miracle given how effing long this has taken me. My excuses? First, I plead real life. It has been asswhipping (asswhooping?) me lately and being on the verge of a mental breakdown = not so awesome writing conditions. Also? Well, my dear, sweet beta flakygoddess got deathly ill. Then her real life threw up all over her. Basically, she’s decided that, even though it breaks both of our hearts, she’s going to be too busy with the real life vomit to beta this here thang anymore. I don’t begrudge her in the LEAST because she’s been hella awesome and, really, I just want whatever she feels would be the best for her right now. That and I want her to finish her pirate fic.
So basically you’re going to have to deal with my slipshod editing again! Hooray.
Re upcoming chapters: I promise that I’ll attempt to get more chapters out on a semi-regular basis and, seeing as my semester ends in less than a month, hopefully that will become easier for me. I’ve already started on the next one and maybe that will actually mean something this time.
Length: 4811
Feedback: Feedback helps my crack addiction. Give generously. Also, concrit is very welcome.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Four Point Five: An Interlude of sorts
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten (A)
Chapter Ten (B)
Chapter Ten (C)
Chapter Ten (D)
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Summary:
It's like a high school fic that isn't lame and is all cracky and shit. Read it.
~An annonymous reader who I totally didn't make up.
To those of you who are new: read it. I swear it isn’t as stupid as you think it sounds. Or at least when it’s stupid it’s intentional. Or I delude myself into thinking it’s intentional. Okay, so maybe sometimes it’s stupid. But read it anyway. It’ll make you a better person, I swear. Or at least a more mildly entertained person.
Ahem. Anyway.
BELIEVE THE HYPE.
READ THE STORY.
In this edition of FTANH: Nate worries, hands are glorified, baby animals are cute, and no one is normal.
FAST TIMES AT NAMBLA HIGH
Part Nineteen
“I’m worried.”
Demetri paused from where he was taking a photo of the butterfly that had been smashed on the asphalt of Nate’s driveway. The colors contrasted nicely with the dark pavement and Demetri smiled down at it. “Normal worried,” he asked, “or worried worried?”
Nate furrowed his brow and stared up at his house. “Worried worried.” He picked at a piece of grass near his foot.
“Why?”
“I think Rob’s planning something.” He gazed up to his brother’s window, the crease between his brows deepening. “And that’s never good.”
“Why do you think he’s planning something?” Demetri asked, moving to where the sunlight caught the butterfly’s broken wings just so. Some of the veins had popped, allowing the liquid inside to seep through the frail gossamer. Demetri thought it was beautiful. Nate seemed to not even notice it at all.
“He asked me how to spell ‘espionage’ the other day,” Nate replied, picking another blade of grass and snapping it between his fingers. Demetri just gave him a mildly amused smile. “Oh, and he asked me how much time in jail a person can do for storming an Air Force base.” Nate paused, a thoughtful expression on his face. “And no one should ever buy that much black body paint.”
Demetri giggled and shifted onto his stomach to take a picture of Nate’s big toe. The only reaction he received was a raised eyebrow. “Definitely sounds like a plan is in motion,” Demetri murmured, clicking away at Nate’s feet.
Nate shifted, obviously uncomfortable about the attention he was getting. Demetri liked uncomfortable Nate. He looked so bashful. It was a good look on him. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He picked at the grass again. “Dude, stop taking pictures of my feet.” He moved to tuck them underneath his body but Demetri stopped him by grabbing his ankle.
“No, wait,” he insisted, pulling at the other boy’s leg. “Your feet are great! Just let me take a couple more…”
Nate eyed him though he allowed the picture-taking to continue. “Is this some kind of thing with you? Like a fetish or something?”
Demetri only grinned. “Why, would it bother you if it was?”
Nate, that blush tingeing his cheeks again, rolled his eyes as he twirled a twig between his fingers. “You’re so fucking weird.”
Demetri smiled slightly and got off his stomach into a kneeling position. Slowly and deliberately, he reached out to grasp the other boy’s hand, all the while watching Nate to gauge his reaction. Nate just stared at where their fingers met as Demetri brought their hands closer, the brush of skin on skin feather-light. Nate’s hand was slightly softer than his own, probably due to the fact that he didn’t dip his hands in photo-processing materials constantly. The digits on Demetri’s hands were a little longer but they were also more slight than Nate’s… the other boy’s knuckles jutted out, giving his a hands a more gangly look. Demetri just barely brushed his thumb across one of these knuckles, his smile widening at the look of mesmerized wonder on Nate’s face the sensation produced. “Just so you know,” Demetri said after a moment, “it isn’t.”
Nate blinked and looked up, seemingly coming back to this world yet still not pulling away. Was this progress? Demetri liked to think so. “What isn’t?”
“Feet. They aren’t a fetish of mine.” Demetri picked up the camera though he kept his other hand connected to Nate’s.
“Oh.” Nate’s focus went back to their joined fingers.
“Hands are.”
Nate’s head shot up, his eyes wide. Demetri just smiled mildly and lifted the camera to his face to click away.
“…Seriously?” Nate finally asked.
Demetri gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Nate stared at their hands again. “Because… they’re hands?”
“That’s what’s so great about them though,” Demetri explained as he shifted his hand slightly so their fingers were more tightly intertwined. “Hands are the ultimate tool in creativity.” Nate snorted. “What?”
“Nothing. You’re just so… deep sometimes that it’s ridiculous.”
“Want me to stop?”
There was a moment of silence until Nate murmured, “No.”
“Then I should go on?”
Even though a smirk played the corners of Nate’s mouth, he gave a slight nod. “Sure, sorry to interrupt your speech.”
“Thank you. Anyway, hands are also one of the most sensitive exposed parts of your body.” Nate’s face flushed again but he nodded in understanding. “Like the wrist…” To accentuate his point, Demetri turned their hands over and brushed a finger over the vein at the base of Nate’s palm. He grinned as the other boy’s Adam’s apple visibly bobbed, his eyes growing wider. He drew a line up the middle of his hand. “The palm…”
“Okay,” Nate stuttered, pulling their hands apart. His Adam’s apple bobbed again and he crossed his arms. “Right, no, I get it.”
“You okay?” Demetri asked, quirking an eyebrow and smirking.
“No, yeah, I’m fine.” Nate began rapidly plucking grass from the ground and tossing it every which way as he glanced around them. “Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m fine.”
“Really? You don’t seem fine.” Demetri took in the other boy’s nervous actions. Nate was always moving. Like a squirrel. Kind of twitchy… in a cute way.
“What?” Nate barked out a high-pitched laugh. “What? No, I’m fine.”
Demetri bit down on the urge to laugh and instead got to his feet. “Okay, then. Want to go to my house?”
“Your house?” Nate squeaked. “Why… what?”
“You just reminded me that I wanted to show you my pet squirrel.”
Nate blinked up at him. “I… what? Pet squirrel? Why do you…?”
Demetri gave up and let himself laugh. “Just come on.”
“I…” Nate sighed in defeat. “Okay.” As he joined Demetri in standing, he reached down in an attempt to discretely adjust himself. Demetri gave him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow and a smirking mouth. “I was on the ground! For a long… time…” Nate trailed off and turned red again. “I’ve… just… yeah. Just… just shut up. Let’s go.”
“You sure you’re ready?” Demetri asked playfully. “Nothing else you need to shift around?”
Nate just glowered and strode away. “No. I’m fine. Thanks.”
“You positive? Sure there’s nothing I can lend a hand with?”
Making an indignant noise, Nate spun around. “No! Jesus. Plenty of guys do that. It’s perfectly normal.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Demetri said, catching up with him. “Come on, let’s go.”
“What… we’re walking?” Demetri felt Nate’s eyes on his back, watching him as he began making his way down the driveway.
“Yeah, it’s not that far.” At Nate’s silence, Demetri turned around to find him standing there and staring at him. “Come on.” With one last uneasy look, Nate trudged towards him.
“Fine,” he grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “But this better be a fucking awesome squirrel.”
~~~~~~
Demetri’s house was different from anything he had ever stepped foot into in his life. To be fair, the architecture was pretty normal; just a wooden former farm house with fairly large beams and nice windows. But the inside… the inside was full of all sorts of wonderful items that Nate had never encountered in his life.
It was almost worth the insanely long (not short as Demetri had claimed it to be) walk to this house because it seemed to be a cottage from a storybook. All along the walls were masks from all sorts of places Nate had never heard of with wide grinning faces and blank eyes, some of their mouths gaping open in silent screams, others in silent laughter. There were also paintings that were unlike anything he’d ever seen depicting a wide range of objects and actions and some that just appeared to be paint splashed onto a canvas, their colors swirling and dancing together. There were 3D ceramics coming out of the walls and fossils preserved on shelves and globes and figurines and whirly-gigs hanging from the ceiling.
“Jesus,” Nate murmured upon entering. “This place is out of Harry Potter.”
Demetri grinned. “Dad would be thrilled to hear that. He loves those books.”
“And you?”
Shrugging, the other boy looked about the inside of his house. “Eh, they’re okay.”
Nate just shook his head. “Okay, dude.”
“Mom!” Demetri called, tossing his backpack onto the floor. “I’m home and I’ve got a friend here.”
A woman appeared from behind a stack of weathered old books, her hair in a messy bun. She was on the short side, her stocky body clad in a dress that appeared to have come from somewhere in Latin America. However hippie-ish she looked, she lacked that dreamy expression her son carried more often than not; her eyes instead sharply intelligent yet warm.
“Why, hello!” she called, shifting the mixing bowl she carried to another hip. “You must be Nate. I was almost beginning to think Demetri was making you up… wouldn’t be the first time!” She laughed and brushed the hair out of her face. “Sorry I’m a mess. I’ve been doing this baking for that event for the faculty and I’m afraid I lack your father’s cooking skills, Demetri.”
“Do you need any help?” Demetri asked, stepping forward to remove the bowl from his mother’s hands and escort her to the kitchen. Nate, feeling amused and slightly out of place, followed after receiving an encouraging smile from Demetri.
“Oh, no, Hon. That’s fine. You should have fun with your friend. Besides, Dad’s going to be back fairly soon.”
“What’s he doing?”
“Some thing with owls… or something. You know how he is with animals. I swear that’s where you get it from.”
Demetri grinned at his mother though Nate barely noticed due to the fact that he was too busy gazing around the kitchen. There were various herbs hanging from various places, filling the room with wonderfully earthy scents. He felt like he’d stepped into some sort of other world.
“Here, how is this?” Demetri’s mother offered something her son’s way. It looked a bit like quiche. “Here, Nate, you try it too.”
Nate stepped forward and took the food offered to him. “Oh, it’s, uh, good,” he said around the food even though it tasted a little like soil.
“Mom, it needs more oregano… and salt. What have I always told you?” Demetri put his hands on his hips, looking for all the world like a stern teacher. Nate snorted and nodded in thanks as Mrs. Martin handed him a cookie. Much to his relief, it tasted much less like dirt.
“I know, I know,” she sighed. “’Don’t be afraid of salt.’”
“Why?”
“Because it brings out the good flavors and masks the bad ones,” she recited, shaking her head. “When did you get so smart?”
“I got it from you,” Demetri quipped, popping a cookie into his mouth as Nate ate another one as well. “These cookies on the other hand are great. See, you need to incorporate the things you do well with baking into cooking. Then you’ll be awesome!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” His mother turned him around by his shoulders and shoved him playfully towards the door. “I believe we’ve bored your friend enough. Go, do teenage boy things!”
“Thanks for the cookies,” Nate said, his smile shy. The woman just grinned at him and winked before Nate ducked out of the kitchen to follow Demetri. “Your mom seems nice,” Nate murmured, glancing around the hall they had just entered. One wall seemed to be covered almost entirely with feathers from different birds and he reached out to brush his hand along it. “What’s this?” he asked in wonder.
“Dad collects them and mom wanted to put them somewhere where they wouldn’t get everywhere,” Demetri answered with some amusement in his voice. “Hence the great feather wall. It’s pretty lucky none of us are allergic to birds, huh?”
Nate chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, pretty lucky.”
“And here’s my room.” Demetri swung open a paneled door to reveal a room that was no less covered in knickknacks but all the same very tidy, unlike the rest of the house. Also unlike the rest of the house was the fact that there seemed to be a flow in the organized chaos; everything had a theme, such as a flower section on the wall, which then blended into another theme, such as gardens. Photographs hung everywhere, varying from Demetri’s family (Nate took notice that Demetri’s father matched his son with his far-off smile to the point that one was indistinguishable from the other) to fields, old park benches, a worm dried and curled up on a sidewalk, and the wrinkles at the corner of an old woman’s eye. Other knick-knacks were strewn about as well, such as figurines, fossils, dried plants, and a variety of other trinkets. The room had the distinct quality of an odd museum exhibit.
Demetri hopped onto his bed that was covered with what appeared to be a handmade quilt. Nate wondered if perhaps he had sown it himself. He wouldn’t have been at all surprised if that was the case. “Did you collect all this stuff yourself?” he asked, picking up a small silver spoon that looked antique.
Demetri chuckled and toyed with the edge of the quilt. “Yeah, it runs in the family.”
Nate halted in his examination of the room’s walls as he came across a fairly crude picture of what looked like an old man in glasses skateboarding. Smiling at the oddness of it, Nate turned to Demetri. “Did you draw this?”
Demetri grinned bashfully and got up to join Nate to look at the picture. “Oh, yeah… I kind of suck at drawing.”
“No… I mean, yeah, it does kind of suck. But not really. It’s weirdly… charming.”
“Charming? You think my drawings are charming?” Demetri raised an eyebrow and smirked while gazing at him from under his eyelashes.
Nate just shook his head and barked out a laugh. “Hah, yeah. Right.” Feeling uncomfortable at the lazy smile Demetri was still sending his way, he shuffled a bit before wandering around the room again. “So… where’s this amazing squirrel you were going on about?”
“Aha!” Demetri cried in delight, moving around to the edge of the bed to slip out a cloth-covered cage. He carefully placed the cage on the small desk that was against one of the walls and removed the cover. “Nate, meet Stu. Stu, meet Nate.”
Nate dithered where he stood. It wasn’t that he didn’t like squirrels. He just wasn’t all that fond of small, quick-moving, furry things that’ll give you rabies as soon as look at you. Hearing the rustling of the animal at the bottom of the cage suddenly brought this sentiment to mind and made Nate more than a little nervous. “Uh, Stu?” he asked, attempting to stall.
“Stu. Like Disco Stu. You know… the Simpsons?”
“You named a squirrel after an obscure Simpsons character?”
“Disco Stu is not obscure. He’s an intrinsic character that’s an important part of the very fabric of the show! Now stop stalling and come look.”
Nate sighed and moved forward to peer into the cage. “My God…” he murmured once Stu was in sight. “He’s so… small.”
“Well, he is a baby. He can’t really help it.”
Nate dropped to his knees to see the tiny animal better. He was pretty damn adorable. Nate was almost embarrassed by how wibbly it made him feel inside but the small squirrel had big eyes and fluffy fur, its tail not yet as puffy as an adult squirrel’s. It gazed up at Nate, not at all afraid, before turning its soulful eyes towards Demetri and letting out a soft chirping sound.
“Where did you find him?” Nate whispered, feeling compelled to be quiet by the presence of the diminutive animal.
“He was abandoned near our house underneath a tree,” Demetri murmured, slowly opening the cage. “He was all alone. I checked on him for a few hours until I was sure no one was coming for him. His eyes weren’t even open at that point… Dad has experience with animal husbandry so he’s been helping me raise him.” Reaching into the cage, Demetri smiled as Stu reached up a paw to grip at one of his fingers. “We’ve bonded,” he explained to Nate with a smile.
“How do you feed him?”
“With a bottle.” Demetri let Stu crawl the rest of the way into his palm before lifting him out and reaching into one of the drawers of the desk. From it he extracted a tiny baby bottle filled with off-white fluid. “Wanna try?”
“What?” Nate regarded the tiny animal nervously. “I… I might hurt him.”
“You won’t,” Demetri assured him. “Here, how about you hold him while I give him the bottle?” Though he was not entirely convinced, Nate nodded before extending his hand. Demetri, placing the bottle on the desk, turned Nate’s hand over and slipped the tiny animal in his palm. Nate couldn’t help but gasp at the soft fur brushing against his skin, barely being able to feel the weight of it resting there. Stu squirmed around a bit, his little claws scritching and tickling Nate as he tried to get into a more comfortable position, his little head nudging against his palm. Nate realized with wonder that he could feel the minuscule bones shifting underneath the satiny fur as the squirrel continued to move around.
“I’ve never held a squirrel before,” Nate admitted softly, petting his thumb along Stu’s slight backbone. “He’s so… I can’t really even wrap my head around how tiny he is.”
“I know, right?” With a start, Nate realized that Demetri’s hand had remained cupped under his own, the pulse in his palm beating through the back of Nate’s hand. Nate swallowed hard, the familiar fluttering feeling filling his stomach.
Demetri reached for the bottle and once he gripped it in his hand he guided it towards the squirrel’s mouth, smiling when he began to suckle greedily on it. “Wow,” Nate giggled. “He’s enthusiastic.”
Demetri grinned back. “He’s got a lot of personality, that’s for sure.” Nate glanced back down at the squirrel before realizing that Demetri’s eyes were still fixed on him. Nate felt compelled to keep his eyes on the baby animal when Demetri slowly began to stroke his knuckles with his thumb again, just like when they had been in the front yard. Nate, his pulse picking up, swallowed hard again and kept staring at Stu. Demetri, growing bolder, shifted his hand to stroke Nate’s palm along with the baby squirrel.
Then just as soon as he had started, Stu was finished, pulling his little mouth from the bottle. In a flash Nate got to his feet to carefully place the creature in the cage again before pacing to Demetri’s bed and sitting down. Demetri remained on the floor, a slightly shocked and hurt expression on his face.
“Nate…” he ventured, getting to his feet to sit next to him. Nate just shoved his face into his hands, willing the squirming in his stomach and the pounding of his heart to go away. “Nate,” Demetri said more forcefully. “What’s wrong?” He placed a hand on Nate’s shoulder which was shaken off almost immediately.
“Just, just stop, Demetri!” Nate cried, scooting to the edge of the bed and putting his head in his hands again. “You can’t keep doing that!”
“Doing what?” There was that hurt again.
“Touching me like that!”
Demetri fell silent and Nate stared through his fingers at the far wall. “It’s okay, Nate.”
Turning around, Nate made a face. “What’s okay?” he demanded.
“Letting me touch you like that.”
Nate just huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “No, no, it isn’t okay for me to let you! This isn’t… God, Demetri. The world isn’t some magical place where we can just skip around hand in hand and raise baby animals together like fucking… fucking Snow White!”
Demetri’s mouth nearly quirked into a smile and Nate resisted the urge to kill him. “Okay.”
“What? It’s not okay.”
“Well… that’s how you feel, so okay.”
“It’s not okay!” Nate nearly yelled, feeling frustrated. Why was Demetri being so difficult? Didn’t he know how to fucking argue? “You can’t just agree with me!”
“Well,” Demetri stated, having the decency to look a little annoyed, “I don’t really care, Nate. I don’t really care if that’s not how the world works. But if that’s how you feel, I respect that.” His expression became somber. “I just want to be around you.” A smile bloomed across his face as he added, “Snow White fantasy or not.”
Nate didn’t really know what to say so he just gaped at Demetri like an idiot. “I… you just want to be around me? Don’t you… don’t you know how weird that is?”
Demetri shrugged. “No, not really.”
“Guys don’t… guys don’t act like that. Guys don’t hold hands. Guys don’t…” Nate trailed off at the serious look on Demetri’s face.
“Your brother does,” he said quietly, his eyes meeting Nate’s.
“Well, but that’s…” Nate sputtered, drawing a blank. “Rob’s different.”
“No, he isn’t.” Demetri sighed and stared at his hands which were now folded in his lap. “How is Rob different? Could it be that he’s not and that’s what’s freaking you out?”
Nate opened and closed his mouth a few times, his eyes wide. “Rob’s not… if Rob’s not anything, it’s normal.”
Demetri actually snorted, an almost sad look on his face. “There’s no such thing as normal, Nate.” His face became more somber, his expression contemplative, and Nate fell silent as Demetri began speaking in a soft tone. “Things aren’t always black and white, Nate,” he said quietly. “Things don’t always have to be complicated or fit into that nice, neat notion of what most people think of what the world should be. I don’t fit that and I don’t think you do either.” Nate kept silent, the way he worked his jaw the only indication he gave that he was listening. “And I meant what I said. I don’t care in what capacity I’m around you… I just want to be around you.”
Demetri sighed and picked at one of his fingernails. “When I… when I used to get sick as a kid, I used to get mad about things. Mad about not being able to be around other kids, mad about being stuck with my parents, mad about feeling like shit. But then I got a tiny bit better and I started to go outside and just be with the world and I realized… the world I had been waiting for, dreaming about, it isn’t great or perfect but really fucked up and crazy. But then… then I realized it’s not just fucked up and crazy. Sure, it still is fucked up crazy but also… it’s also beautiful. The world is just a fucked up, crazy and beautiful place and… I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Demetri paused and, much to Nate’s surprise, brought up a hand to touch Nate’s cheek, the brush of their skin feather-light. Nate, his heart pounding again, unconsciously leaned into the touch as Demetri continued to speak. “That’s what’s so great about you, Nate.”
His eyes slipping open, Nate offered him a sad smile. “You like that I’m crazy? And fucked up?”
Demetri smiled, his eyes glinting. “And beautiful. All three at once. It’s a great thing, isn’t it?”
Nate didn’t answer. He took Demetri’s palm, the one that had been cradling his face, and held it in his own for a moment before turning to fully face him. The other boy’s breath caught as Nate reached up with his free hand to lightly stroke his face before bringing his fingers around to the back of his neck, wrapping them there firmly. Feeling determined and more than a little frightened, Nate took a deep breath and brought their faces together, his pulse pounding and paused momentarily to look in Demetri’s eyes before placing a small kiss on his lips.
Fearing he’d made the wrong move, he pulled away and flicked his gaze up to give Demetri a shy smile. Finding a matching grin on his friend’s face, he felt his heart rate quicken all the more and his head began to feel light and dizzy as he forgot to breathe. Demetri’s hands, just as gentle and calloused as they had been earlier that day on the lawn but just as warm, just as real and firm, brushed his cheeks again before pulling his face forward. Their lips touched briefly and though it was a little awkward, it sent fire down Nate’s spine. He pulled Demetri closer, locking them together more firmly, his whole body tingling. All Nate could hear was his pounding heart in his ears and the breath coming out in harsh bursts from both their noses and he moved, trying to get closer to Demetri, one hand drifting up to his shaggy hair and the other to his waist. Demetri hummed against him, the vibrations causing a pleasant shudder to go through Nate.
With that, he pushed Demetri onto his back, their mouths remaining connected as their kisses deepened, the waves of sensations making Nate massage whatever part of Demetri his urgent hands came in contact with. Just as he felt himself falling in completely, Demetri pulled away to pant against his neck.
“That,” he mumbled, his lips warm against the skin below Nate’s ear, “is definitely progress.”
Nate couldn’t help but laugh, the relief now coming in liberating waves. When they both fell silent again, he turned his head to try and bring their lips together once more.
“Wait,” Demetri giggled, pressing a firm hand into the middle of his chest. “I’m not arguing with your enthusiasm but maybe we should do this another time… like when my parents aren’t in the next room.”
Nate dropped his head against Demetri’s neck and sighed. He was definitely hard… but Demetri had a point. And, unfortunately, Nate had to concede to his logic. Even though he was hard. Dammit. “Okay,” he mumbled before pushing himself off to lie down next to Demetri on the bed. “Okay.” Taking some deep breaths, he felt himself begin to calm down. “Okay.”
Demetri giggled again before hesitantly reaching out to play with a lock of Nate’s hair. His fingers tingled on his scalp and Nate sighed into it. “You good?” Demetri murmured.
“Yeah,” Nate said, letting his eyes slip closed. “I just… well, I partly can’t believe that just happened.”
“I know.” Nate smirked at Demetri’s pleased tone. “And you initiated it! Bravo.”
Feeling a blush coming on, Nate chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I… just… thank you.” Nate opened his eyes to find Demetri gazing at him, open and honest.
“For what?”
“For… for saying you just want to be around me. Snow White fantasy or not.” He grinned, feeling a giddiness filling his stomach.
“Well, I wasn’t lying.” Demetri smiled at him and cocked his head. “That wasn’t just my cunning way to get you into bed or anything.”
“Yeah, but technically we didn’t do anything.”
“Ah, but you are in my bed, aren’t you?”
Nate snorted and threw an arm over his face. “You’re so lame.”
“Also, that whole speech was totally impromptu. I should be a writer or something.” Demetri hummed, looking pleased with himself.
Shaking his head, Nate rolled his eyes. “Yes, you’re very smart.” He paused, happiness fluttering around in his stomach. “So… what now?”
“Now?” Demetri sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. “Now we go and eat.”
Nate’s smile fell off his face and his stomach twisted into a knot. “What, with your parents? No. No way.”
Demetri laughed. “Why not?”
“Oh my God! I just… we just…”
Demetri rolled his eyes and grabbed Nate’s hand to drag him to his feet. “Come on, you didn’t deflower me or anything. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“God!” Nate laughed, the giddiness beginning to come back full force, drowning out the panic. “Don’t use that word. It’s weird.”
Demetri grinned and pulled Nate forward until their faces were just inches apart. “What? Deflower? What word would you rather me use?” he asked, his smile wicked.
Nate gave him a playful shove and rolled his eyes, his face burning. Demetri somehow managed to look even more pleased. “God. Just… let’s get this over with.”
Demetri swung the door open and followed Nate out, still grinning. “Don’t worry, this’ll be fine. My parents are very open about sex. They’re probably just bring it up to get it out in the open within the first five minutes.”
“What?” Nate squeaked, stopping dead in his tracks.
Demetri just laughed and pulled him forward. “Just kidding. You need to learn to relax.”
Nate, still unable to stop smiling as he was led down the hall by a chattering Demetri, considered this change of events in his life. This could either be a very bad idea or a very good idea.
But, with the flutter of excitement still pulsing through his veins and the grin he was wearing making his face ache, he decided resolutely that it was the latter.
TO BE CONTINUED?!?!
...yes.
Tune in next time for Stephen being free, Paul being bold (or maybe just stupid), and Amy being crafty, both in wit and in crafts.
ENDNOTE: What did I tell ya? Fluff. But hopefully it wasn’t sickening. Anyway, this goes out to mutantjules for reasons I cannot remember. Maybe for her birthday that was ages ago? Wow, I suck. Also, this is dedicated to flakygoddess for obvious reasons.
Also, I would like to say that I am an idiot because I think I went a whole two chapters (aka 5 F&*#ING YEARS) without mentioning this: sailorptah made fanart for the story! I LOVE HER SO HARD. Seriously. Even though I forgot to mention it. Again, I suck. Almost as hard as I love the fanart. OMG THE FANART! *flails*
As always, comment and friend if you like because you know I loves it.
Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).
Any mention of 'The Daily Show', 'The Colbert Report', 'Viacom', any associated entities, or any copyrighted material pertaining therein is reasonably protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976 and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrighted material.
Title: Fast Times at NAMBLA High: Part Nineteen
Author: Yours truly
Fandom: The Daily Show... with a smattering of guest appearances.
Pairing: Including but not limited to:
Jon/Stephen, Stephen/Paul, Stephen/Craig Kilborn, Jon/Anderson Cooper, Paul/Amy, Rob/Frustration, Ed/Confusion, (Rob/Frustration)/(Ed/Confusion), Mo Rocca/Lewis Black, Sam/Jason, Demetri Martin/Nathan Corddry, Bob Novak/Hair nets, Aasif Mandvi/Tucker Carlson, Stone Phillips/Barbara Walters, Dan Bakkedahl/Rob Riggle, Dane Cook/His ego, Dave Gorman/John Oliver, Jerry Seinfeld/Steve Carell, Bill O’Reilly/Hatred, Keith Olbermann/Everyone, John Hodgeman/Bill Gates, Tucker/Craig, Aasif/Anderson, John Hodgman/Sarah Vowell, Will Ferrell/MOP?, Keith/Dennis Leary, George Clooney/Charm
Featured pairing(s): Nate/Demetri
Rating: PG-13 for language and… other things
Warning: Crack: it's what's for dinner. Other warnings: AU, drug use, underage drinking, het crap, and Will Ferrell being creepy. For this specific chapter? Fluff. It’s like a bunny had sex with a kitten and their offspring was raised by the Snuggles bear. Seriously. THAT FLUFFY.
A/N: Erm, hey guys! *ducks from garbage being thrown* Yeah, so it’s been a while. So yes. Let me just start of with this: I’m sorry. Seriously. If anyone is still interested in this story, it would be a miracle given how effing long this has taken me. My excuses? First, I plead real life. It has been asswhipping (asswhooping?) me lately and being on the verge of a mental breakdown = not so awesome writing conditions. Also? Well, my dear, sweet beta flakygoddess got deathly ill. Then her real life threw up all over her. Basically, she’s decided that, even though it breaks both of our hearts, she’s going to be too busy with the real life vomit to beta this here thang anymore. I don’t begrudge her in the LEAST because she’s been hella awesome and, really, I just want whatever she feels would be the best for her right now. That and I want her to finish her pirate fic.
So basically you’re going to have to deal with my slipshod editing again! Hooray.
Re upcoming chapters: I promise that I’ll attempt to get more chapters out on a semi-regular basis and, seeing as my semester ends in less than a month, hopefully that will become easier for me. I’ve already started on the next one and maybe that will actually mean something this time.
Length: 4811
Feedback: Feedback helps my crack addiction. Give generously. Also, concrit is very welcome.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Four Point Five: An Interlude of sorts
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten (A)
Chapter Ten (B)
Chapter Ten (C)
Chapter Ten (D)
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Summary:
It's like a high school fic that isn't lame and is all cracky and shit. Read it.
~An annonymous reader who I totally didn't make up.
To those of you who are new: read it. I swear it isn’t as stupid as you think it sounds. Or at least when it’s stupid it’s intentional. Or I delude myself into thinking it’s intentional. Okay, so maybe sometimes it’s stupid. But read it anyway. It’ll make you a better person, I swear. Or at least a more mildly entertained person.
Ahem. Anyway.
BELIEVE THE HYPE.
READ THE STORY.
In this edition of FTANH: Nate worries, hands are glorified, baby animals are cute, and no one is normal.
FAST TIMES AT NAMBLA HIGH
Part Nineteen
“I’m worried.”
Demetri paused from where he was taking a photo of the butterfly that had been smashed on the asphalt of Nate’s driveway. The colors contrasted nicely with the dark pavement and Demetri smiled down at it. “Normal worried,” he asked, “or worried worried?”
Nate furrowed his brow and stared up at his house. “Worried worried.” He picked at a piece of grass near his foot.
“Why?”
“I think Rob’s planning something.” He gazed up to his brother’s window, the crease between his brows deepening. “And that’s never good.”
“Why do you think he’s planning something?” Demetri asked, moving to where the sunlight caught the butterfly’s broken wings just so. Some of the veins had popped, allowing the liquid inside to seep through the frail gossamer. Demetri thought it was beautiful. Nate seemed to not even notice it at all.
“He asked me how to spell ‘espionage’ the other day,” Nate replied, picking another blade of grass and snapping it between his fingers. Demetri just gave him a mildly amused smile. “Oh, and he asked me how much time in jail a person can do for storming an Air Force base.” Nate paused, a thoughtful expression on his face. “And no one should ever buy that much black body paint.”
Demetri giggled and shifted onto his stomach to take a picture of Nate’s big toe. The only reaction he received was a raised eyebrow. “Definitely sounds like a plan is in motion,” Demetri murmured, clicking away at Nate’s feet.
Nate shifted, obviously uncomfortable about the attention he was getting. Demetri liked uncomfortable Nate. He looked so bashful. It was a good look on him. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.” He picked at the grass again. “Dude, stop taking pictures of my feet.” He moved to tuck them underneath his body but Demetri stopped him by grabbing his ankle.
“No, wait,” he insisted, pulling at the other boy’s leg. “Your feet are great! Just let me take a couple more…”
Nate eyed him though he allowed the picture-taking to continue. “Is this some kind of thing with you? Like a fetish or something?”
Demetri only grinned. “Why, would it bother you if it was?”
Nate, that blush tingeing his cheeks again, rolled his eyes as he twirled a twig between his fingers. “You’re so fucking weird.”
Demetri smiled slightly and got off his stomach into a kneeling position. Slowly and deliberately, he reached out to grasp the other boy’s hand, all the while watching Nate to gauge his reaction. Nate just stared at where their fingers met as Demetri brought their hands closer, the brush of skin on skin feather-light. Nate’s hand was slightly softer than his own, probably due to the fact that he didn’t dip his hands in photo-processing materials constantly. The digits on Demetri’s hands were a little longer but they were also more slight than Nate’s… the other boy’s knuckles jutted out, giving his a hands a more gangly look. Demetri just barely brushed his thumb across one of these knuckles, his smile widening at the look of mesmerized wonder on Nate’s face the sensation produced. “Just so you know,” Demetri said after a moment, “it isn’t.”
Nate blinked and looked up, seemingly coming back to this world yet still not pulling away. Was this progress? Demetri liked to think so. “What isn’t?”
“Feet. They aren’t a fetish of mine.” Demetri picked up the camera though he kept his other hand connected to Nate’s.
“Oh.” Nate’s focus went back to their joined fingers.
“Hands are.”
Nate’s head shot up, his eyes wide. Demetri just smiled mildly and lifted the camera to his face to click away.
“…Seriously?” Nate finally asked.
Demetri gave a one-shouldered shrug. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Nate stared at their hands again. “Because… they’re hands?”
“That’s what’s so great about them though,” Demetri explained as he shifted his hand slightly so their fingers were more tightly intertwined. “Hands are the ultimate tool in creativity.” Nate snorted. “What?”
“Nothing. You’re just so… deep sometimes that it’s ridiculous.”
“Want me to stop?”
There was a moment of silence until Nate murmured, “No.”
“Then I should go on?”
Even though a smirk played the corners of Nate’s mouth, he gave a slight nod. “Sure, sorry to interrupt your speech.”
“Thank you. Anyway, hands are also one of the most sensitive exposed parts of your body.” Nate’s face flushed again but he nodded in understanding. “Like the wrist…” To accentuate his point, Demetri turned their hands over and brushed a finger over the vein at the base of Nate’s palm. He grinned as the other boy’s Adam’s apple visibly bobbed, his eyes growing wider. He drew a line up the middle of his hand. “The palm…”
“Okay,” Nate stuttered, pulling their hands apart. His Adam’s apple bobbed again and he crossed his arms. “Right, no, I get it.”
“You okay?” Demetri asked, quirking an eyebrow and smirking.
“No, yeah, I’m fine.” Nate began rapidly plucking grass from the ground and tossing it every which way as he glanced around them. “Why wouldn’t I be fine? I’m fine.”
“Really? You don’t seem fine.” Demetri took in the other boy’s nervous actions. Nate was always moving. Like a squirrel. Kind of twitchy… in a cute way.
“What?” Nate barked out a high-pitched laugh. “What? No, I’m fine.”
Demetri bit down on the urge to laugh and instead got to his feet. “Okay, then. Want to go to my house?”
“Your house?” Nate squeaked. “Why… what?”
“You just reminded me that I wanted to show you my pet squirrel.”
Nate blinked up at him. “I… what? Pet squirrel? Why do you…?”
Demetri gave up and let himself laugh. “Just come on.”
“I…” Nate sighed in defeat. “Okay.” As he joined Demetri in standing, he reached down in an attempt to discretely adjust himself. Demetri gave him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow and a smirking mouth. “I was on the ground! For a long… time…” Nate trailed off and turned red again. “I’ve… just… yeah. Just… just shut up. Let’s go.”
“You sure you’re ready?” Demetri asked playfully. “Nothing else you need to shift around?”
Nate just glowered and strode away. “No. I’m fine. Thanks.”
“You positive? Sure there’s nothing I can lend a hand with?”
Making an indignant noise, Nate spun around. “No! Jesus. Plenty of guys do that. It’s perfectly normal.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t,” Demetri said, catching up with him. “Come on, let’s go.”
“What… we’re walking?” Demetri felt Nate’s eyes on his back, watching him as he began making his way down the driveway.
“Yeah, it’s not that far.” At Nate’s silence, Demetri turned around to find him standing there and staring at him. “Come on.” With one last uneasy look, Nate trudged towards him.
“Fine,” he grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets. “But this better be a fucking awesome squirrel.”
~~~~~~
Demetri’s house was different from anything he had ever stepped foot into in his life. To be fair, the architecture was pretty normal; just a wooden former farm house with fairly large beams and nice windows. But the inside… the inside was full of all sorts of wonderful items that Nate had never encountered in his life.
It was almost worth the insanely long (not short as Demetri had claimed it to be) walk to this house because it seemed to be a cottage from a storybook. All along the walls were masks from all sorts of places Nate had never heard of with wide grinning faces and blank eyes, some of their mouths gaping open in silent screams, others in silent laughter. There were also paintings that were unlike anything he’d ever seen depicting a wide range of objects and actions and some that just appeared to be paint splashed onto a canvas, their colors swirling and dancing together. There were 3D ceramics coming out of the walls and fossils preserved on shelves and globes and figurines and whirly-gigs hanging from the ceiling.
“Jesus,” Nate murmured upon entering. “This place is out of Harry Potter.”
Demetri grinned. “Dad would be thrilled to hear that. He loves those books.”
“And you?”
Shrugging, the other boy looked about the inside of his house. “Eh, they’re okay.”
Nate just shook his head. “Okay, dude.”
“Mom!” Demetri called, tossing his backpack onto the floor. “I’m home and I’ve got a friend here.”
A woman appeared from behind a stack of weathered old books, her hair in a messy bun. She was on the short side, her stocky body clad in a dress that appeared to have come from somewhere in Latin America. However hippie-ish she looked, she lacked that dreamy expression her son carried more often than not; her eyes instead sharply intelligent yet warm.
“Why, hello!” she called, shifting the mixing bowl she carried to another hip. “You must be Nate. I was almost beginning to think Demetri was making you up… wouldn’t be the first time!” She laughed and brushed the hair out of her face. “Sorry I’m a mess. I’ve been doing this baking for that event for the faculty and I’m afraid I lack your father’s cooking skills, Demetri.”
“Do you need any help?” Demetri asked, stepping forward to remove the bowl from his mother’s hands and escort her to the kitchen. Nate, feeling amused and slightly out of place, followed after receiving an encouraging smile from Demetri.
“Oh, no, Hon. That’s fine. You should have fun with your friend. Besides, Dad’s going to be back fairly soon.”
“What’s he doing?”
“Some thing with owls… or something. You know how he is with animals. I swear that’s where you get it from.”
Demetri grinned at his mother though Nate barely noticed due to the fact that he was too busy gazing around the kitchen. There were various herbs hanging from various places, filling the room with wonderfully earthy scents. He felt like he’d stepped into some sort of other world.
“Here, how is this?” Demetri’s mother offered something her son’s way. It looked a bit like quiche. “Here, Nate, you try it too.”
Nate stepped forward and took the food offered to him. “Oh, it’s, uh, good,” he said around the food even though it tasted a little like soil.
“Mom, it needs more oregano… and salt. What have I always told you?” Demetri put his hands on his hips, looking for all the world like a stern teacher. Nate snorted and nodded in thanks as Mrs. Martin handed him a cookie. Much to his relief, it tasted much less like dirt.
“I know, I know,” she sighed. “’Don’t be afraid of salt.’”
“Why?”
“Because it brings out the good flavors and masks the bad ones,” she recited, shaking her head. “When did you get so smart?”
“I got it from you,” Demetri quipped, popping a cookie into his mouth as Nate ate another one as well. “These cookies on the other hand are great. See, you need to incorporate the things you do well with baking into cooking. Then you’ll be awesome!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” His mother turned him around by his shoulders and shoved him playfully towards the door. “I believe we’ve bored your friend enough. Go, do teenage boy things!”
“Thanks for the cookies,” Nate said, his smile shy. The woman just grinned at him and winked before Nate ducked out of the kitchen to follow Demetri. “Your mom seems nice,” Nate murmured, glancing around the hall they had just entered. One wall seemed to be covered almost entirely with feathers from different birds and he reached out to brush his hand along it. “What’s this?” he asked in wonder.
“Dad collects them and mom wanted to put them somewhere where they wouldn’t get everywhere,” Demetri answered with some amusement in his voice. “Hence the great feather wall. It’s pretty lucky none of us are allergic to birds, huh?”
Nate chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah, pretty lucky.”
“And here’s my room.” Demetri swung open a paneled door to reveal a room that was no less covered in knickknacks but all the same very tidy, unlike the rest of the house. Also unlike the rest of the house was the fact that there seemed to be a flow in the organized chaos; everything had a theme, such as a flower section on the wall, which then blended into another theme, such as gardens. Photographs hung everywhere, varying from Demetri’s family (Nate took notice that Demetri’s father matched his son with his far-off smile to the point that one was indistinguishable from the other) to fields, old park benches, a worm dried and curled up on a sidewalk, and the wrinkles at the corner of an old woman’s eye. Other knick-knacks were strewn about as well, such as figurines, fossils, dried plants, and a variety of other trinkets. The room had the distinct quality of an odd museum exhibit.
Demetri hopped onto his bed that was covered with what appeared to be a handmade quilt. Nate wondered if perhaps he had sown it himself. He wouldn’t have been at all surprised if that was the case. “Did you collect all this stuff yourself?” he asked, picking up a small silver spoon that looked antique.
Demetri chuckled and toyed with the edge of the quilt. “Yeah, it runs in the family.”
Nate halted in his examination of the room’s walls as he came across a fairly crude picture of what looked like an old man in glasses skateboarding. Smiling at the oddness of it, Nate turned to Demetri. “Did you draw this?”
Demetri grinned bashfully and got up to join Nate to look at the picture. “Oh, yeah… I kind of suck at drawing.”
“No… I mean, yeah, it does kind of suck. But not really. It’s weirdly… charming.”
“Charming? You think my drawings are charming?” Demetri raised an eyebrow and smirked while gazing at him from under his eyelashes.
Nate just shook his head and barked out a laugh. “Hah, yeah. Right.” Feeling uncomfortable at the lazy smile Demetri was still sending his way, he shuffled a bit before wandering around the room again. “So… where’s this amazing squirrel you were going on about?”
“Aha!” Demetri cried in delight, moving around to the edge of the bed to slip out a cloth-covered cage. He carefully placed the cage on the small desk that was against one of the walls and removed the cover. “Nate, meet Stu. Stu, meet Nate.”
Nate dithered where he stood. It wasn’t that he didn’t like squirrels. He just wasn’t all that fond of small, quick-moving, furry things that’ll give you rabies as soon as look at you. Hearing the rustling of the animal at the bottom of the cage suddenly brought this sentiment to mind and made Nate more than a little nervous. “Uh, Stu?” he asked, attempting to stall.
“Stu. Like Disco Stu. You know… the Simpsons?”
“You named a squirrel after an obscure Simpsons character?”
“Disco Stu is not obscure. He’s an intrinsic character that’s an important part of the very fabric of the show! Now stop stalling and come look.”
Nate sighed and moved forward to peer into the cage. “My God…” he murmured once Stu was in sight. “He’s so… small.”
“Well, he is a baby. He can’t really help it.”
Nate dropped to his knees to see the tiny animal better. He was pretty damn adorable. Nate was almost embarrassed by how wibbly it made him feel inside but the small squirrel had big eyes and fluffy fur, its tail not yet as puffy as an adult squirrel’s. It gazed up at Nate, not at all afraid, before turning its soulful eyes towards Demetri and letting out a soft chirping sound.
“Where did you find him?” Nate whispered, feeling compelled to be quiet by the presence of the diminutive animal.
“He was abandoned near our house underneath a tree,” Demetri murmured, slowly opening the cage. “He was all alone. I checked on him for a few hours until I was sure no one was coming for him. His eyes weren’t even open at that point… Dad has experience with animal husbandry so he’s been helping me raise him.” Reaching into the cage, Demetri smiled as Stu reached up a paw to grip at one of his fingers. “We’ve bonded,” he explained to Nate with a smile.
“How do you feed him?”
“With a bottle.” Demetri let Stu crawl the rest of the way into his palm before lifting him out and reaching into one of the drawers of the desk. From it he extracted a tiny baby bottle filled with off-white fluid. “Wanna try?”
“What?” Nate regarded the tiny animal nervously. “I… I might hurt him.”
“You won’t,” Demetri assured him. “Here, how about you hold him while I give him the bottle?” Though he was not entirely convinced, Nate nodded before extending his hand. Demetri, placing the bottle on the desk, turned Nate’s hand over and slipped the tiny animal in his palm. Nate couldn’t help but gasp at the soft fur brushing against his skin, barely being able to feel the weight of it resting there. Stu squirmed around a bit, his little claws scritching and tickling Nate as he tried to get into a more comfortable position, his little head nudging against his palm. Nate realized with wonder that he could feel the minuscule bones shifting underneath the satiny fur as the squirrel continued to move around.
“I’ve never held a squirrel before,” Nate admitted softly, petting his thumb along Stu’s slight backbone. “He’s so… I can’t really even wrap my head around how tiny he is.”
“I know, right?” With a start, Nate realized that Demetri’s hand had remained cupped under his own, the pulse in his palm beating through the back of Nate’s hand. Nate swallowed hard, the familiar fluttering feeling filling his stomach.
Demetri reached for the bottle and once he gripped it in his hand he guided it towards the squirrel’s mouth, smiling when he began to suckle greedily on it. “Wow,” Nate giggled. “He’s enthusiastic.”
Demetri grinned back. “He’s got a lot of personality, that’s for sure.” Nate glanced back down at the squirrel before realizing that Demetri’s eyes were still fixed on him. Nate felt compelled to keep his eyes on the baby animal when Demetri slowly began to stroke his knuckles with his thumb again, just like when they had been in the front yard. Nate, his pulse picking up, swallowed hard again and kept staring at Stu. Demetri, growing bolder, shifted his hand to stroke Nate’s palm along with the baby squirrel.
Then just as soon as he had started, Stu was finished, pulling his little mouth from the bottle. In a flash Nate got to his feet to carefully place the creature in the cage again before pacing to Demetri’s bed and sitting down. Demetri remained on the floor, a slightly shocked and hurt expression on his face.
“Nate…” he ventured, getting to his feet to sit next to him. Nate just shoved his face into his hands, willing the squirming in his stomach and the pounding of his heart to go away. “Nate,” Demetri said more forcefully. “What’s wrong?” He placed a hand on Nate’s shoulder which was shaken off almost immediately.
“Just, just stop, Demetri!” Nate cried, scooting to the edge of the bed and putting his head in his hands again. “You can’t keep doing that!”
“Doing what?” There was that hurt again.
“Touching me like that!”
Demetri fell silent and Nate stared through his fingers at the far wall. “It’s okay, Nate.”
Turning around, Nate made a face. “What’s okay?” he demanded.
“Letting me touch you like that.”
Nate just huffed out a laugh and shook his head. “No, no, it isn’t okay for me to let you! This isn’t… God, Demetri. The world isn’t some magical place where we can just skip around hand in hand and raise baby animals together like fucking… fucking Snow White!”
Demetri’s mouth nearly quirked into a smile and Nate resisted the urge to kill him. “Okay.”
“What? It’s not okay.”
“Well… that’s how you feel, so okay.”
“It’s not okay!” Nate nearly yelled, feeling frustrated. Why was Demetri being so difficult? Didn’t he know how to fucking argue? “You can’t just agree with me!”
“Well,” Demetri stated, having the decency to look a little annoyed, “I don’t really care, Nate. I don’t really care if that’s not how the world works. But if that’s how you feel, I respect that.” His expression became somber. “I just want to be around you.” A smile bloomed across his face as he added, “Snow White fantasy or not.”
Nate didn’t really know what to say so he just gaped at Demetri like an idiot. “I… you just want to be around me? Don’t you… don’t you know how weird that is?”
Demetri shrugged. “No, not really.”
“Guys don’t… guys don’t act like that. Guys don’t hold hands. Guys don’t…” Nate trailed off at the serious look on Demetri’s face.
“Your brother does,” he said quietly, his eyes meeting Nate’s.
“Well, but that’s…” Nate sputtered, drawing a blank. “Rob’s different.”
“No, he isn’t.” Demetri sighed and stared at his hands which were now folded in his lap. “How is Rob different? Could it be that he’s not and that’s what’s freaking you out?”
Nate opened and closed his mouth a few times, his eyes wide. “Rob’s not… if Rob’s not anything, it’s normal.”
Demetri actually snorted, an almost sad look on his face. “There’s no such thing as normal, Nate.” His face became more somber, his expression contemplative, and Nate fell silent as Demetri began speaking in a soft tone. “Things aren’t always black and white, Nate,” he said quietly. “Things don’t always have to be complicated or fit into that nice, neat notion of what most people think of what the world should be. I don’t fit that and I don’t think you do either.” Nate kept silent, the way he worked his jaw the only indication he gave that he was listening. “And I meant what I said. I don’t care in what capacity I’m around you… I just want to be around you.”
Demetri sighed and picked at one of his fingernails. “When I… when I used to get sick as a kid, I used to get mad about things. Mad about not being able to be around other kids, mad about being stuck with my parents, mad about feeling like shit. But then I got a tiny bit better and I started to go outside and just be with the world and I realized… the world I had been waiting for, dreaming about, it isn’t great or perfect but really fucked up and crazy. But then… then I realized it’s not just fucked up and crazy. Sure, it still is fucked up crazy but also… it’s also beautiful. The world is just a fucked up, crazy and beautiful place and… I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Demetri paused and, much to Nate’s surprise, brought up a hand to touch Nate’s cheek, the brush of their skin feather-light. Nate, his heart pounding again, unconsciously leaned into the touch as Demetri continued to speak. “That’s what’s so great about you, Nate.”
His eyes slipping open, Nate offered him a sad smile. “You like that I’m crazy? And fucked up?”
Demetri smiled, his eyes glinting. “And beautiful. All three at once. It’s a great thing, isn’t it?”
Nate didn’t answer. He took Demetri’s palm, the one that had been cradling his face, and held it in his own for a moment before turning to fully face him. The other boy’s breath caught as Nate reached up with his free hand to lightly stroke his face before bringing his fingers around to the back of his neck, wrapping them there firmly. Feeling determined and more than a little frightened, Nate took a deep breath and brought their faces together, his pulse pounding and paused momentarily to look in Demetri’s eyes before placing a small kiss on his lips.
Fearing he’d made the wrong move, he pulled away and flicked his gaze up to give Demetri a shy smile. Finding a matching grin on his friend’s face, he felt his heart rate quicken all the more and his head began to feel light and dizzy as he forgot to breathe. Demetri’s hands, just as gentle and calloused as they had been earlier that day on the lawn but just as warm, just as real and firm, brushed his cheeks again before pulling his face forward. Their lips touched briefly and though it was a little awkward, it sent fire down Nate’s spine. He pulled Demetri closer, locking them together more firmly, his whole body tingling. All Nate could hear was his pounding heart in his ears and the breath coming out in harsh bursts from both their noses and he moved, trying to get closer to Demetri, one hand drifting up to his shaggy hair and the other to his waist. Demetri hummed against him, the vibrations causing a pleasant shudder to go through Nate.
With that, he pushed Demetri onto his back, their mouths remaining connected as their kisses deepened, the waves of sensations making Nate massage whatever part of Demetri his urgent hands came in contact with. Just as he felt himself falling in completely, Demetri pulled away to pant against his neck.
“That,” he mumbled, his lips warm against the skin below Nate’s ear, “is definitely progress.”
Nate couldn’t help but laugh, the relief now coming in liberating waves. When they both fell silent again, he turned his head to try and bring their lips together once more.
“Wait,” Demetri giggled, pressing a firm hand into the middle of his chest. “I’m not arguing with your enthusiasm but maybe we should do this another time… like when my parents aren’t in the next room.”
Nate dropped his head against Demetri’s neck and sighed. He was definitely hard… but Demetri had a point. And, unfortunately, Nate had to concede to his logic. Even though he was hard. Dammit. “Okay,” he mumbled before pushing himself off to lie down next to Demetri on the bed. “Okay.” Taking some deep breaths, he felt himself begin to calm down. “Okay.”
Demetri giggled again before hesitantly reaching out to play with a lock of Nate’s hair. His fingers tingled on his scalp and Nate sighed into it. “You good?” Demetri murmured.
“Yeah,” Nate said, letting his eyes slip closed. “I just… well, I partly can’t believe that just happened.”
“I know.” Nate smirked at Demetri’s pleased tone. “And you initiated it! Bravo.”
Feeling a blush coming on, Nate chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I… just… thank you.” Nate opened his eyes to find Demetri gazing at him, open and honest.
“For what?”
“For… for saying you just want to be around me. Snow White fantasy or not.” He grinned, feeling a giddiness filling his stomach.
“Well, I wasn’t lying.” Demetri smiled at him and cocked his head. “That wasn’t just my cunning way to get you into bed or anything.”
“Yeah, but technically we didn’t do anything.”
“Ah, but you are in my bed, aren’t you?”
Nate snorted and threw an arm over his face. “You’re so lame.”
“Also, that whole speech was totally impromptu. I should be a writer or something.” Demetri hummed, looking pleased with himself.
Shaking his head, Nate rolled his eyes. “Yes, you’re very smart.” He paused, happiness fluttering around in his stomach. “So… what now?”
“Now?” Demetri sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed. “Now we go and eat.”
Nate’s smile fell off his face and his stomach twisted into a knot. “What, with your parents? No. No way.”
Demetri laughed. “Why not?”
“Oh my God! I just… we just…”
Demetri rolled his eyes and grabbed Nate’s hand to drag him to his feet. “Come on, you didn’t deflower me or anything. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
“God!” Nate laughed, the giddiness beginning to come back full force, drowning out the panic. “Don’t use that word. It’s weird.”
Demetri grinned and pulled Nate forward until their faces were just inches apart. “What? Deflower? What word would you rather me use?” he asked, his smile wicked.
Nate gave him a playful shove and rolled his eyes, his face burning. Demetri somehow managed to look even more pleased. “God. Just… let’s get this over with.”
Demetri swung the door open and followed Nate out, still grinning. “Don’t worry, this’ll be fine. My parents are very open about sex. They’re probably just bring it up to get it out in the open within the first five minutes.”
“What?” Nate squeaked, stopping dead in his tracks.
Demetri just laughed and pulled him forward. “Just kidding. You need to learn to relax.”
Nate, still unable to stop smiling as he was led down the hall by a chattering Demetri, considered this change of events in his life. This could either be a very bad idea or a very good idea.
But, with the flutter of excitement still pulsing through his veins and the grin he was wearing making his face ache, he decided resolutely that it was the latter.
TO BE CONTINUED?!?!
...yes.
Tune in next time for Stephen being free, Paul being bold (or maybe just stupid), and Amy being crafty, both in wit and in crafts.
ENDNOTE: What did I tell ya? Fluff. But hopefully it wasn’t sickening. Anyway, this goes out to mutantjules for reasons I cannot remember. Maybe for her birthday that was ages ago? Wow, I suck. Also, this is dedicated to flakygoddess for obvious reasons.
Also, I would like to say that I am an idiot because I think I went a whole two chapters (aka 5 F&*#ING YEARS) without mentioning this: sailorptah made fanart for the story! I LOVE HER SO HARD. Seriously. Even though I forgot to mention it. Again, I suck. Almost as hard as I love the fanart. OMG THE FANART! *flails*
As always, comment and friend if you like because you know I loves it.
Disclaimer: Any similarity between the fictional version of the person portrayed here and the actual persons is purely coincidental. This is a work of fiction. This is not an attempt to defame the character of said person on the basis of libel, as the work is FICTIONAL (and NOT an intently false statement created with the express purpose of misleading others about the actual character of said person).
Any mention of 'The Daily Show', 'The Colbert Report', 'Viacom', any associated entities, or any copyrighted material pertaining therein is reasonably protected by the Fair Use Rule of the United States Copyright Act of 1976 and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrighted material.