The Dance - Chapter 21: Blackbird, Fly
Genre & Rating: Canon/AU, rated R for explicit sexual content.
Disclaimer: Jack and Ennis were created by the Great and Mighty Annie Proulx. I'm just the dude behind the yellow curtain working the lights and using the Big Voice microphone.
Summary: This is the final chapter of The Dance, which takes place after Ennis and Alma's divorce. Ennis has moved to Kansas and is trying to find a way for him and Jack to be together. The road is bumpy and uneven but each small step brings both Jack and Ennis closer to the dance. Prior chapters are here .
Dedication: This is dedicated to my betas, Kathy (in the beginning), Elizabeth, and especially Christine who has been with me from start to finish. They say it takes a village to raise a child. So it is with a story. Your fingerprints are all over these pages and I thank you for leaving your mark.
A/N: Well, folks, on behalf of Jack, Ennis, Nick, Janie, Lureen, Bobby, Alma, Junior, Franny and even Brego, I thank you for reading this version of their story. I hope I did them justice. They, and you, are forever in my heart.
The Dance - Chapter 21: Blackbird, Fly
Blackbird
(Lennon/McCartney)
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird fly Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise.
<><><><><>
This goddamned stinking day was supposed to be the best day of his life. Two suitcases and a few boxes in the back of his truck jiggled around every once in a while trying to remind him of that, but his dark mood could not be lifted.
The day had started off wrong, what with him getting up late this morning even though he’d wanted to make Bobby his favourite peanut butter and jelly pancakes before seeing his son off to school one last time. Even though Jack wasn’t really sure how things were going to go down with Ennis, he was certain that even if things didn’t work out in Kansas his marriage was over and he wasn’t going to be living with Lureen and Bobby past this day.
So it was a rush to get up and get Bobby fed, with the added aggravation that he hadn’t waited for the pans to heat up properly so his pancakes had stuck and wound up a sorry mess. It didn’t help his mood any when he tried to give Bobby an extra long hug but his son, knowing he was off to Kansas today, barely returned his embrace, choosing instead to sulk his way on to the school bus. Lureen had called out, “Drive safely,” as he headed out but he could tell her heart wasn’t in it, even though they’d ended things well, considering. Even Miss Debra and her excellent coffee and homemade pies hadn’t come through for him today; when he got to her diner there was a sign up that said a pipe had burst and the diner was closed for repairs.
So here he was, practically at Ennis’ doorstep and he felt like a dark cloud was hovering over his head. Even the memory of how he’d told LD to take his job and shove it yesterday couldn’t restore his good humour. Him and Lureen had marched into LD’s office and told him straight out that Jack and Lureen were getting a divorce and Jack was handing in his notice. As expected, LD blew a gasket, sputtering on about “You can’t do that” and “I gave you a job when no one else would” and “I always said you were a disgrace.” Jack was standing there taking it, as usual, when he came to the realization that he could do as he wanted, he had plenty of satisfied customers who told him he was damn good at his job, and the disgrace would be if he continued to let this man heap insults upon him. So he calmly told LD in no uncertain terms what he thought of the narrow-minded son-of-a-bitch, gave Lureen a quick hug, and walked out of Newsome’s for good.
Nothing like burning all his bridges to make sure he only had one way to go. You’re a damn fool, Jack Twist. Why didn’t you just talk to Ennis first before packing everything up and heading out? What if Ennis wasn’t ready? What if he slammed the door in your face? What if…. No. He had a dream and in that dream he’d made a vow. And it was about time he stopped dreaming about things and actually made them happen. Right or wrong. Long or short. Now or never.
He set to calming his fears as he turned into Dart Stables’ long driveway, making his way around the corral and barn to Ennis’ cottage. He saw with relief that Ennis’ truck was in front of the cottage. It was about time something went right this day.
He got out of the truck and was just about to slam his door shut when he caught sight of a brown paper bag peeking out from one of the boxes. He bit his lip, considering, then shrugged, reaching out and picking up the bag, more for courage than for anything else.
His shoulders began to straighten the closer he got the cottage, his steps increasingly more eager. He felt like his callow, young self coming down off the cold, dark, mountain, aching from a lonely night spent guarding against predators, hurrying towards Ennis’ home fire and its promise of warmth and wellbeing. If he’d been on a horse they would have been galloping, although the rapid beating of his heart certainly duplicated the pounding of a horse’s hooves.
He was so keyed up he forgot to knock and just walked right in. The greeting he received was quite different from the one he envisioned for what he caught sight of was a well-muscled man coming out of the bathroom, a plain white towel barely covering his assets. Unfortunately… the well-muscled man was definitely not Ennis. With a sudden feeling of déjà vu, two things happened at once.
The man and Jack glared at each other and shouted, “Who the fuck are you?” and Ennis stepped out of his bedroom, took in the scene and yelled “Doesn’t anyone know how to fucking knock in this godforsaken place? See that front door? It’s there for a reason!”
And so they stood, a frozen tableau of three men glaring at each other in the heated silence. Jack should have known from the moment he popped awake this morning and saw the numbers blinking on his alarm clock that he should have waited to have the best day of his life. Because today wasn’t it.
But then….
Ennis leaned one shoulder against the wall, stuck his hand in his pocket and jiggled the change in there, clearing his throat nervously. He looked put out and uncomfortable and was shifting his feet like his boots were two sizes too small. But when their eyes met, what Jack saw in them had those horses galloping again.
They met in the middle, both of them taking a few steps forward. Jack saw the smile in Ennis’ eyes before it made its way down on to his lips and, eager as he was to get to his man, Jack stopped a hair’s breadth away, close enough to touch but not actually touching.
He had pictured this meeting to be huge, cataclysmic, two seismic forces clashing into each other, mindless with hunger. And the hunger was there, its sharp teeth tearing at him from the inside, wanting to be unleashed. But what overtook the hunger was the need for tenderness, to reach out until his trembling hands rested on that sweet, soft, spot at the nape of Ennis’ neck.
He gave in to that need, dropping the paper bag he’d been holding on to the floor, cupping Ennis’ face like a man who’d just wandered the desert taking his first careful sip of water. Angling his head forward he stopped just short of Ennis’ mouth, aware they were not alone, wanting this so bad he was prepared to throw caution to the winds, but mindful that Ennis might not feel the same. It seemed Ennis had no such qualms, for he tilted his head forward eagerly, bringing their mouths together. Given permission, Jack drank slowly and deeply, finally slaking his powerful thirst.
Ahhh yes. At last. The best day of his life.
He felt Ennis’ arms snake around his waist, bringing their bodies closer together. He couldn’t help the moan that escaped him, the feel of his man’s body flush up against him bringing the hunger back to the forefront.
“I just want y’all to know, when you do decide to come up for air, that I’m still here and needin’ clean pants,” came a voice from down the hall.
“Jesus!” Ennis exclaimed as they sprang apart, clearly having forgotten they had an audience.
“Yeah, I was gonna just tiptoe down the hall and help myself to a pair a jeans and clear on outta here but you guys are kinda blocking the, err, bedroom doorway so…”
Jack was hearing all this through a haze, his whole being focused on Ennis’ lips, wanting them on him. He saw Ennis turn slightly towards the voice and dimly heard him growl, “Go back in the bathroom, Nick. I ain’t finished.”
“But…”
“Back in the bathroom!” Ennis snarled, not turning back around until the bathroom door slammed shut. Then Ennis pushed Jack up against the wall, rumbled “I ain’t finished,” and gave him a kiss so long and so hard they might as well have been having sex right then and there, standing up, in the middle of the day, with a half-naked stranger in the bathroom.
They broke apart for a second time and suddenly Jack started laughing, unable to stop the tide of happiness that overtook him. He began laughing even harder when he caught the puzzled look on Ennis’ face.
“What’s got into you?” Ennis asked, still holding Jack close.
“I ain’t finished,” Jack said in his deepest, mock-Ennis voice.
Ennis lips curled up at that, his whole face softening with amusement. “Well I ain’t.”
“Then you better get rid of whoever that guy is in your bathroom because the way this is going we won’t be finished any time soon. Not if I have anything to do with it.” He thrust his hips forward, making sure Ennis took his meaning.
“Yeah, uh, I should explain about that guy in there,” Ennis began nervously. “We were out working the horses and Nick slipped in the mud and he was gonna head back to his house to change but we remembered Janie’d just kicked us outta the house after breakfast because she was gettin’ to scrubbing the floors so we figured it’d be best for Nick to grab a shower over at my place and I’d give him a pair a my jeans so when you walked in the door…”
“Whoa, there, cowboy. I don’t know what’s in the air around here but I sure do like it if it makes you kiss me in front a people and makes you so loose lipped I finally get the opportunity to tell you to shut up for a change,” Jack teased, giving Ennis another quick kiss. “I already figured there was nothin’ goin’ on between you two.”
Ennis’ brow furrowed. “How come?”
Jack smiled smugly, reaching down and giving Ennis’ ass an affectionate squeeze. “’Cause even though you sounded like your usual grumpy self, you couldn’t hide how happy you were to see me.”
Ennis gave Jack’s ass an answering squeeze, saying “That so?” before he commenced to nibble on Jack’s lower lip.
A disembodied voice came from behind the closed bathroom door. “Still mostly naked. Still getting cold. Still your boss and landlord, you sack of shit, so you better red light whatever’s goin’ on out there so I can get the hell outta here.”
Jack began laughing again and reluctantly stepped away from a disgruntled Ennis. Ennis went into his room and emerged with a pair of jeans, hurrying down the hall and opening the bathroom door long enough to throw them at Nick. After a few minutes, Nick came out, giving Jack a rueful grin.
“I’m Nick Strider, and you must be Jack Twist,” Nick said, holding out a hand. Jack shook it gladly, liking the fact that there was no hint of censure or disgust in Nick’s attitude, even though he’d witnessed Jack and Ennis going at each other. “Well glad to meet you, Jack Twist. Hope you stick around some, considering the help I currently got’s gettin’ too uppity, if you ask me.”
Nick barely dodged the cuff Ennis tried to give him on the side of his head. He ran out of the cottage with a hoot of laughter, yelling “Take the rest of the day off, Ennis! Looks like you’re gonna have a helluva Valentine’s Day!” as he slammed out the door.
Jack mentally smacked himself in the head. Valentine’s Day! Of course! He thought back to this time last year, when he sent off that heart shaped spud in the mail to Riverton. He could tell from the awkward silence that followed that Ennis was reminiscing as well. The teasing mood of just a few minutes ago seemed to have vanished now that the quick spurt of happiness at being in the same place at the same time was assuaged.
“Sorry I didn’t call---“
“So what made you show up outta the blue ---“
They both began talking simultaneously then broke off abruptly, as they waited for the other man to continue. Shoulders shifted and throats were cleared. Jack wiped his suddenly clammy hands on his jeans, trying desperately to swallow the lump in his throat.
“What’s going on, Jack? Why are you here?” Ennis asked quietly, his face impassive.
Jack wanted to say so much, words that had always flown fast and furious out of him clogged in his throat. “I…I…” he croaked, his eyes scanning the living room because looking at Ennis only made him more tongue-tied. His eyes lit on the paper bag he’d dropped on the floor, carefully picking it up after a moment’s hesitation, its contents suddenly heavy.
“What’s in that, Jack? Another sack a potatoes?” asked Ennis dubiously. “You didn’t come all this way just to give me…”
“I’m here because a what I got in here,” Jack said, unable to look at Ennis, looking down at the bag in his hand instead, “and, I guess, because a what I got in here,” he continued, pointing at his chest. “I’ve had these a long time, Ennis, and plenty a times I almost gave up on them, plenty a times I just wanted to take them out and burn them cause there wasn’t no point hanging on to something dead and gone.” Jack shrugged, beginning to shiver now. “But I never could, ‘cause giving up on them meant giving up on the only thing I ever done right.”
He finally looked up. “I done a lot of things wrong since I got these. Hell, last time I was here I fucked things up and that ain’t gonna be the last time, I can guarantee that. But, ain’t no use me talkin’ about you and me living out and open when I got these hidden away in the dark, stealin’ away with them like a thief in the night. I figure it does me no good to hold on to these when only half belongs to me.” He stepped forward and handed the paper bag to Ennis with trembling figures. “You make up the other half, Ennis. Always have, always will.”
Ennis took the bag, his face showing he had no idea what was inside, but understanding from Jack’s demeanor that opening it would forever change something between them. Ennis looked at Jack searchingly then carefully opened the bag, his brows knitting together when he pulled out what was inside.
Recognition was instant. In Ennis’s hands were the shirts both Jack and Ennis wore on Brokeback. The last time they’d worn these shirts Jack and Ennis had lashed out, fighting with and against each other, raw emotions spilling blood. And here they stood, almost a decade later, with the same shirts, but far from the same men.
Jack was having a hard time holding things together, shaking uncontrollably now with pent up feeling. What broke Jack was when Ennis carefully and deliberately tucked Jack’s shirt inside his, making sure Jack’s shirt was covered by Ennis’, and brought the shirts up to his lips, kissing them. He fell to his knees then, sick with relief; they were going to be okay, after all. He felt Ennis’ arms around him and he leaned in, knowing from Ennis’ harsh breathing that his cowboy was just as overcome.
“I saw your shirt peekin’ outta your sack when you went to change and I…I took it,” he said brokenly. “I didn’t want it to end, Ennis, and I wanted a piece a you, proof that what we had wasn’t a one-shot thing.”
“Jack,” Ennis whispered.
“I kept them all this time in my old closet in Lightning Flat. Hidden way in the back so only I knew they were there. Took them here with me after Christmas ‘cause I had such high hopes…”
“Jack, hush for a second.” Ennis murmured in his ear.
“… but then your sister walked in and you looked at me like you hated me, just for split second, but that was enough to make me go tearing off. I shoulda had more faith, Ennis, more faith in you, in me, in the both of us…”
Ennis shook him slightly. “Jack, I mean it, you gotta shut the hell up for a second.”
“But, Ennis, I gotta tell you, gotta explain why…” Jack insisted, but then his eyes fell on something Ennis had taken out of his pocket.
He shook his head, his brain short circuiting at the sight of what Ennis held in his hand. It was a plain mother of pearl button, totally nondescript, absolutely nothing special about it…except it matched the buttons on his old shirt from Brokeback. With a gasp he pictured his old shirt in his mind, following the line of buttons until he reached the empty space where a button had been torn off after their fight.
“I walked away from you after that punch and I had it in my hand,” Ennis murmured. “Don’t know why I put it in my pocket but couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it.” Ennis’ hand closed around the button reflexively. “Had it in my pocket ever since, every single day, since then. Only time I don’t have it on me is when I’m in bed or in the shower.”
Every day, all this time. Jack pictured the countless times he’d seen Ennis stick his hand in his pocket, all the times he’d assumed Ennis was fumbling around in there because he was ill at ease, jiggling change or keys skittishly. If he wasn’t already on his knees, this would have brought him there: the realization that Ennis had kept his own faith
“Goddamn, Ennis, why didn’t you…” Jack began.
“Same reason you didn’t,” Ennis answered. Ennis reached up and this time it was he who cupped Jack’s’ face, his thumbs wiping away the wet under Jack’s eyes. “But I guess it’s about time we stopped hiding these things and brought them back where they belong, huh?”
They kissed with tears running down their faces, tasting salt, recognizing how these long years apart had seasoned them until they soaked in to each other. Two halves made whole. Belonging.
“Need you, Ennis,” Jack pleaded hoarsely. There was a lot that needed to be said, but not in words.
Ennis’ response was immediate. “You have me, Jack.”
They helped each other up, fumbling at clothes and kissing all the while, bumping noses and clutching at skin, muttering and moaning and chuckling when they bashed into the walls like drunken sailors on shore leave. It probably took them twice as long to make their way to the bedroom, pants at their ankles and shirts half off, looking like crazy contestants in a perverted three-legged race. Jack said a silent hallelujah when they reached the bed at last, falling back on the mattress and taking Ennis with him.
Oh god, how he’d missed the weight of his man on top of him. It always seemed as if he could carry anything on his shoulders as long he had Ennis covering him. Skin on skin, face to face, hard against hard, full to bursting with need, Jack gloried in the sensations that overtook him, thrumming with desire with each moan that escaped Ennis.
“You feel so good, Jack, can’t hardly stand it,” Ennis groaned, hips grinding into Jack.
“Fuck, Ennis, you gotta stop cause I’m liable to come just from what you’re doing down there.”
“Don’t know if I can stop, Jack, this horse is already outta the gate and I’m not so sure I can rein it in,” Ennis gasped.
“Well get on up here, then, and we’ll see what we can do about slowing this bad boy down,” he urged.
Ennis straddled Jack, inching his way up the bed on his knees until his cock was inches away from Jack’s mouth. Jack reached back and grabbed a pillow, placing it under his head so he could take Ennis’ cock in his mouth without straining his neck. He reached out with his tongue, lapping at the tip of Ennis’ cock lightly, gratified to hear Ennis’ hiss of approval. He wanted Ennis in his mouth something fierce, but not yet.
He cupped Ennis’ tight ass, using it like a steering wheel to position Ennis where he wanted, using his tongue to explore Ennis’ length oh so slowly. Up and down he went, his tongue flicking here and there until Ennis’ cock was bathed in spit and slick. He then urged Ennis up even higher, giving Ennis’ balls the same careful treatment, before his tongue slithered between them, snaking his way to Ennis’ pucker.
“Yes, Jack, oh God,” Ennis moaned, head thrown back in ecstasy.
Jack teased Ennis’ hole with the tip of his tongue, delicate feather-light touches making Ennis squirm. He spread Ennis cheeks even further, then finally dipped in, Ennis babbling now in some language only he understood. He relished the faintly metallic taste of Ennis here, knowing he was the only person who will ever know Ennis in this way. The thought of Ennis giving all to him, surrendering to this pleasure, made his own cock go arrow straight, his balls tightening with excitement.
He probed deeper with his tongue, knowing how good Ennis must be feeling, spurred on by the way Ennis was bucking and moaning above him. He fucked Ennis with his tongue for a few more minutes before he finally relented, angling Ennis back down again so he could swallow Ennis’ now impossibly hard cock. He was holding Ennis’ ass only lightly now, letting Ennis set the rhythm. As desperate as Ennis must have been, he was thrusting carefully, going deep but not enough to gag. Jack thanked Ennis for his consideration by sucking as hard as he could, his cheeks hollowing on the up beat. He knew his cowboy was close when Ennis’ hips began to stutter, Ennis’ hand now tangled in his hair and clutching at it frantically.
”Jack…are you? Do you want?…” Ennis moaned brokenly.
Jack answered by thrusting his middle a finger inside Ennis, curling his finger slightly. Ennis roared Jack’s name as he came, Jack swallowing convulsively and bobbing his head to wring every last drop out of his lover. After Ennis’ spasms were done, he let Ennis slip out of his mouth grudgingly, planting gentle kisses on the sensitive tip. Ennis shuffled his way down Jack’s chest until they were once again flush up against each other, Ennis on top.
Ennis placed a tender kiss on Jack’s lips. “That your idea of slowing things down, you meathead?”
Jack smiled against Ennis’ lips. “Well, slowing things down enough so we get the most out of it, I guess.”
Ennis shifted his hips, taking Jack’s measure. “Hmm, seems you gotta lot, but you might need some help getting the most outta that.”
Jack pressed his erection insistently against Ennis’ groin. “Yeah, and I’m wondering if anyone around here might be interested in helpin’ a guy out.”
“Might,” Ennis chuckled. “If you ask nice.”
“Ask?” Jack groaned, his shaft tingling with anticipation.
“Well….beg.” Ennis teased, licking his way leisurely down Jack’s chest, biting down gently on a nipple.
“Oh, fuuuuuck,” Jack whimpered, cursing the dummy who came up with the bright idea of slowing things down in the first place.
Ennis meandered over to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment, his movements excruciatingly slow. Jack clenched his fists, aching to nudge Ennis’ head lower but knowing this was part of the game. Jack felt Ennis making his way down Jack’s treasure trail, leading with his tongue, stopping for a nibble every once in a while then continuing on until he reached Jack’s belly button. Once there, Ennis dipped in for a spell, while Jack thrashed and moaned like a man possessed. And he was possessed, wholly and completely, by that sonofabitch Ennis del Mar, his tormentor.
“Ennis, please,” he cried, just as Ennis reached his thatch; he could feel Ennis’ breath on him.
“Is that you begging, Jack Twist?”
“Fuck you,” Jack grunted, his hands clutching at the bed sheets to try to keep them from smacking that dumbass Ennis upside the head.
“Maybe in a little while. But first…”
Jack couldn’t believe Ennis could be so mean-spirited. Especially after just receiving an epic blow-job that had been so generously and graciously bestowed. Ungrateful. His frustration peaked when Ennis nudged his cock ever so slightly, no longer than a flutter. Fucking hell.
“Please, Ennis, oh god, please, please,” he begged, the skin around his cock so tight he was afraid he would split open.
It was bliss when Ennis’ mouth came down on him and from the moans coming out of Ennis, it seemed Ennis was just as relieved that Jack had surrendered. Jack’s vision dimmed with every pull on his cock, his whole being focused on the wet glide of Ennis’ hungry mouth. There was no teasing now, no soft touches. He was being taken over and he loved it.
His dazed mind registered that Ennis had maneuvered himself so he was kneeling on the floor by the bed, Jack’s thighs hooked over Ennis’ shoulders. It occurred to Jack that this was why Ennis’ hands were freely massaging his ass; Ennis now had perfect access to his cheeks, kneading and stroking them in time with each bob of Ennis’ head. He gritted his teeth against the twin pleasure of intense suction on his cock and the sensual massage of Ennis’ hands. He was lost in the sensations he didn’t want to end, yet could not deny the throb in his cock aching for completion. When Ennis’ fingers began to inch towards his hole, he knew he was a dead man. There was no way he was going to survive this.
He felt something else enter Ennis’ mouth and join his cock in getting sucked. Goddamn. Ennis was sucking his own fingers and Jack’s cock at the same time. Holy Mary, Mother of God. After a few seconds of that, Jack felt Ennis’ fingers probing at his hole, and that’s when he began to babble. He didn’t know if he was speaking in tongues or making up his own swear words, but the sounds coming out of him were alien, even to him.
It took but a few moments before they settled into a rhythm. Jack humping Ennis’ mouth, Ennis stabbing him with a finger, the wet sounds of sex rising like a symphony. He needed, oh god, he needed.
“Ennis, you have to…are you ready again? I want…” Jack pleaded, barely able to form the words in his desperation to be filled.
“I’m here, babe. I’m here,” Ennis murmured, releasing his cock and rising rapidly, bending over Jack, Jack’s knees still hooked over Ennis’ shoulders.
“Do it, Ennis. I want you,” he whimpered, gazing up at the only man he’d ever loved.
“Hush now, gotta do this right,” Ennis soothed, reaching for the lube he’d fetched from under the bed, quickly readying both Jack and himself.
Jack was looking deep in Ennis’ eyes when Ennis entered him; he felt the invasion in his body at the same time he saw the surrender in Ennis’ eyes. There was no taking here, no prisoners. There was only freedom. He spread his arms wide, bending willingly with each of Ennis’ thrust, and felt himself take flight. Gazing up at Ennis, he finally saw what Ennis was giving him, and he opened himself fully to receive it, to accept. Ennis’ eyes widened slightly, understanding blooming inside them.
“Yes, Jack,” Ennis said before quickening his thrusts, riding the swell that was overtaking them, making speech impossible. Faster they went, moving as one, the friction between them sparking fire, bursting into flames, flying higher and higher until they were in the eye of the sun, melting into each other and fused together for one perfect infinite moment that pierced them with its sweetness. Jack’s orgasm burst from him at the same time he felt the spurt of Ennis’ heat inside him, and he was convinced his heart would stop then and there, for it held so much.
Jack welcomed Ennis’ weight once again when Ennis collapsed on top of him, both their chests heaving, and not just from exertion. Although slick from sweat and sticky from semen, Jack felt strangely washed clean. Made new.
He rolled over until he was on top of Ennis, kissing first one eye and then the other. Ennis kept his eyes closed, smiling softly. The sight of Ennis laying there complacently, clearly enjoying his attention, overwhelmed him with such gratitude he sent up a prayer of thanks to whatever had granted him this shining being as his life’s companion, a treasure so far greater than his own worth.
Ennis mumbled something sleepily, something he didn’t quite catch, so he leaned forward. “Say again?” Jack whispered, listening intently.
“You gonna be here in the mornin’, ain’t ya?” Ennis murmured.
“Sure, bud.”
“And the mornin’ after that?”
Jack chuckled uneasily, realizing he’d made some leaps in his head, but he and Ennis hadn’t actually ironed things out just yet, busy as they’d been on other things. “Uh, yeah, if you’ll have me.”
Ennis’ grin widened, eyes still closed, looking very much like a well-satiated cat. “Good,” Ennis said, lifting one eyelid lazily. “’Cause I ain’t finished.”
Jack threw back his head and laughed, Ennis’ deep baritone joining in.
<><><><><><><><><>
He woke up slowly, his eyes filled instantly with the sight of Ennis gazing down on him, head propped on one elbow.
He smiled. “What?”
Ennis smiled back. “You’re here.”
He reached up and traced Ennis’ lower lip with a finger. “And you’re here.”
Ennis kissed his finger. “You’re mine.”
He reached forward and placed a tender kiss on Ennis’ lips. “And you’re mine.”
Ennis rolled on top of him, both hands on either side of Jack’s head. “You love me.”
He mirrored Ennis and put both hands on either side of Ennis’s head. “And you love me.”
He supposed other people said it the other way, saying “I love you” instead. But that had never been in question. He knew he loved Ennis, loved him for a long time, declared it again and again with his body and his soul. The problem had always been this: realizing and accepting that he was loved in return.
This dance had started long ago, two men looking for work and finding each other across a dusty parking lot. It had continued up mountains and across streams, through winding roads and musty tents. It had led them away from each other, into the arms of women that couldn’t hold them. Through it all they had swayed together and apart, boots planted in the ground, sometimes unable to lift their feet up off the mire. But somehow they’d found a way, after being tossed and turned by the coursing, endless wind, to take this dance up into the stars where it could take flight. Up above all that held them down. Into a world of their own, into a life of their making, into a love that could be felt deep in the heart, where all truth lies.
So he set to expressing that love, right here, right now, because from here on in, every day was the best day of his life. ‘Cause they weren’t finished, no sir, not by a long shot.
Epilogue follows immediately in next post.