tossin the diary...

[smiles_4_others]

wow...online journal...typing is so much EASIER yay. lets see whats been goin on...first off i wanna give a shout to Holly...youve been the best friend to me that ive had in a while...ure a real person and u arent afraid to be who you are instead of a lot of the fake people at D-B. we've had some really awesome times ill never forget and ill never forget the things youve taught me..if i ever meet blink-182 ill thank them for writin 'i miss you' cause without that song i would have never started bondin with you and the short time in which weve gotten close has been the happiest ive had since i lived in florida. you listen to me rant about my pointless problems and are thoughtful enough to do what it takes to cheer me up and give me the best advice you have and you support me in all my decisions even when we dont agree on them and there are few people who do thast as whole-heartedly as you. i dont know what id do without you...wear more pink i reckon ;)(and yes that was a joke..a sad one but still an attempt :) I love you Holly *Bah*. now for Josh a.k.a. Riktor, Bone Daddy, etc etc...God where to start? youve been absolutely amazing to me. Youve laughed with me, been there every second i needed you, noticed things about me without me having to say them, known me before i knew myself, helped me through every obstacle ive come across, encouraged me when i was hopeless, and never let me believe that my life was worthless. I looked forward to every second i talked to you and hung out with you and smiled through every word i spoke with you...really smiled not just smiled for others. youve made me happy Josh. Few people can say that. please love yourself josh because holly and i love you and we're always right after all...you are one of the best people i know and i can honestly say you have a good heart. I love you Joshy. now theres definitly an apology i need to make to someone out there who was very very very good to me and didnt deserve what im sure i put him through...im sorry Wes God im so so sorry...please believe that because its the truth and i treasure every moment i spent with you. your a great person and an awesome friend..you helped me in ways i cant even begin to explain and ill continue to beg your forgiveness until you choose to be my friend again...and i hope that day comes soon. ok man..enough with the shoutouts...down to what ive done this weekend...hmmmmmm friday was fun...after school and work i got picked up by josh and holly and we went to walmart to pick up pix from the concert and went 2 beach hut to get icys...yum yum...then we went to a playground to goof off and i ended up in some seriosuly deep thoughts...i mean i looked at the kids and i remembered being them. i remember running thinkin i was tha shit playin hide and go seek climbing imagining i was in a castle, imagining...just imagining. I miss having that type of imagination where it didnt matter who saw me playing and i didnt worry how my hair looked...and at that age all i wanted was to be 16. that was my dream and i thought about it everyday. it still shocks me that in a few months i WILL be 16 and im afraid it wont live up to my expectations as a kid. i remember looking at teenagers and thinking that one day i could date and drive and have fun and now that i do and have friends over 21 its like when did i get this big? bah. anyway after the playground i had to go home and clean my room cause ESA initiation was that night. if u didnt kno ESA is a social club at D-B that i got invited to join. anyway so i cleaned and went to sleep. around 12 30 i woke up to screaming, singing, and 30 girls in my room telling me to get up. so i did. they gave me a sign that said ESA <3 Alicia New Member's Night 2004, a coffee mug they decorated with my name, a huge bowl full of candy and makeup, and a photo album. So i was taken outside to get in one of their cars (omg ive never seen nicer cars in my LIFE i mean DANG and there were like 15 of um) and oh yea i grabbed a change of clothes and my cell phone before i left. so there i am in a car sittin next to Whitly Lemaster (a new member 2) still waking up and looking at these girls in the driver and passenger seat just WISHING i looked like them and wondering what i would have to do to be initiated. so we picked up a few other girls before heading off to Sara Sizemore's house where we were allowed to eat snacks and such before the REAL fun began...they had us wait downstairs while they were upstairs except one or two members to keep an eye on us lol and one girl just started BAWLING cause she was so scared about what they might make her do...i felt bad for her but i mean COME ON its not like its hazing and if it was id say cya bitches but its not! gah some people..but anyway they asked for 2 people to go upstairs..2 braves souls went then came back but couldnt tell us anything...they looked pretty happy so me and my friend lindsey volunteered to go 2nd. they took up upstairs to the backyard where all the memebers were leanin on the porch watchin and the president was holding a huge bowl of birdseed. about 50 ft down there was a table with 2 cups on it one on the left one on the right. she told us to get 5 mouthfulls of birdseed and run over to ure cup to get as much in as possible and whoever had more in their cup after 5 mouthfulls won and didnt have to do the next step of initation. well my first mouthfull i inhaled some and started coughin they even thought i was throwin up but in the end i won and got to watch the next initiation with the members. so next they took one girl at a time in the backyard and handed them a huge bowl with 5 gummiworms in the bottom and about 4 or 5 inches of flour over that. they had to find a gummiworm with their teeth...sticking their entire head in the flour to find it. the first girl inhaled then exhaled sendin a cloud of flour EVERYWHERE which was quite humorous tbut she found one..and so did the others...claps to laura for goin hardcore and gettin ure hair in it while tippin flour out...anyway so then they had us lay head to foot in wet grass while they put chilli and cheese on our feet. we had to lick it off the person in front of us...ew. it was pretty damn disgusting and they were pretty mean about it..they were like more..MORE..LICK MORE. groossssss. ok so that was done and they piled us into saras room and took us one at a time downstairs blindfolded for the questions part. when it was my turn they took me down and sat me in the middle of all of them on the floor. then they asked me who the biggest bitch in ESA was and the biggest slut, how far ive gone, if i masturbated, if i had a boyfriend, then i had to call a hot senior guy and tell him i wanted his body and make a sex noise, then i had to suck on a sausage with whipped cream on the end yea REAL funny im sure...but then i was done with my initiation and they gave me a sweatshirt and said to wear it on monday. yay. when everyone was done we were goin to sleep..around 5 am but ended up talkin to the president of Philos for an hour about their initiation next week and damn she is gonna b a BITCH about it...6 of the people who have to go through initiation arent goin to get in and such.. i mean thats more bitchy then anything i would do and thats sayin somthin. but then i went to sleep and they woke us up at 10 to take us home. a dog chewed up my cellphone which sucks and its all dented n shit but hey w/e. i slept all of saturday and now its mothers day and i have a lack of gift...im screwed. im also sick which blows cause my head is KILLING me and my throat and nose are hurtin bad enough to make me wanna strangle myself. so i best go eat with my mater (latin oh oh). ttyl *Much love*

~*~*Lisherz*~*~