22 July 1899.
my fairest john michael,
i write this letter in vain, for i know it will fall upon the deafest of ears. i want you to know that my love for you is beyond all. i think of you, and it brings back memories of better days. and worse days as well. but, they always made you who you are, and it made me so proud. i wished you would love me as you loved admiration. pity. and a million adoring eyes upon you. i never gave up on you.
but when i say i write this in vain, i know it will only serve to fuel flame to the fire in your mind. it will make you laugh in my name for you know you have control over me. you know that every single thing you do affects me. oh, how i wish it didn't. i wish you weren't one of those people with that presance. that ability to draw in whatever and whomever you want at your very will. but my dear boy, i wish you could only see that you are playing with lives. to you, it is a mere laugh. but to these puppets that you manipulate, it is their life. it is their sanity and happiness.
i suppose that knowledge only makes you happier. and this saddens me.
you are not unwell in the way you think, or rather you wish. but my dear son, you are very unwell. i wish i could help you. and i pray, for those you come into contact with. because you will never, ever leave them. never. i know you love this. but it hurts so many. more than you will ever know, or even begin to hold a thin grasp upon. and although you are a genius at an art most of us could never attain, this is one thing that is far out of your understanding. way far. like reaching for the sky.
you do not know everything my fair young man.
i set this letter on your door letting you know that you are out of my life. you will always affect my mind, but you can't hurt me when i don't know you. when i don't see you. when i don't hear the sound of your voice.
i love you like everybody else. but i am nothing more to you than a string attached to an old worn out manipulated cloth. someday, oh someday you will find out that nothing lasts forever. even your powers will fade. and my son, it makes me cry (even though you have broken my heart more than any person could ever deserve) to think of how alone you will truly be.
you will be completely, totally, and utterly.....
....alone.
think about this if you can bear to.
i still love you and always will.
all my sincerest love,
your father.
i write this letter in vain, for i know it will fall upon the deafest of ears. i want you to know that my love for you is beyond all. i think of you, and it brings back memories of better days. and worse days as well. but, they always made you who you are, and it made me so proud. i wished you would love me as you loved admiration. pity. and a million adoring eyes upon you. i never gave up on you.
but when i say i write this in vain, i know it will only serve to fuel flame to the fire in your mind. it will make you laugh in my name for you know you have control over me. you know that every single thing you do affects me. oh, how i wish it didn't. i wish you weren't one of those people with that presance. that ability to draw in whatever and whomever you want at your very will. but my dear boy, i wish you could only see that you are playing with lives. to you, it is a mere laugh. but to these puppets that you manipulate, it is their life. it is their sanity and happiness.
i suppose that knowledge only makes you happier. and this saddens me.
you are not unwell in the way you think, or rather you wish. but my dear son, you are very unwell. i wish i could help you. and i pray, for those you come into contact with. because you will never, ever leave them. never. i know you love this. but it hurts so many. more than you will ever know, or even begin to hold a thin grasp upon. and although you are a genius at an art most of us could never attain, this is one thing that is far out of your understanding. way far. like reaching for the sky.
you do not know everything my fair young man.
i set this letter on your door letting you know that you are out of my life. you will always affect my mind, but you can't hurt me when i don't know you. when i don't see you. when i don't hear the sound of your voice.
i love you like everybody else. but i am nothing more to you than a string attached to an old worn out manipulated cloth. someday, oh someday you will find out that nothing lasts forever. even your powers will fade. and my son, it makes me cry (even though you have broken my heart more than any person could ever deserve) to think of how alone you will truly be.
you will be completely, totally, and utterly.....
....alone.
think about this if you can bear to.
i still love you and always will.
all my sincerest love,
your father.