(no subject)
DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!!!!!! I UPDATED AND MY ENTIRE ENTRY WAS ERASED!!!!!
So..here goes again..try to remember what i had said because i was actually satisfied and liked it..
Ok...first off..things have been ok lately..im finally over mono and can do things even though that doesnt make a bit of diffrence between steven and i because hes at work! Hes always working...im not going to mention that its really irritating because he needs the money and he actually likes his job? AND i dont want to be controlling..its just..work work work work um ok..whatever..
i was at tiffanys yesterday and i saw brendan for the first time in forever..it was ok..truthfully..and i hope he doesnt read this because hell just think im a complete loser..but truthfullly i wish we were friends like before..i remember how i used to like him and now..im like..afraid of him..i dont know why but i think its just because i know he hates my guts and hides it..maybe he never liked me but even so..what i did was like..soooo..wrong? i dunno..but anyways..
i tried to call mary again..no one answered
you know..ive had so many relationships that have crashed and burned that i probably cant count them on all my fingers. i think what i do is ..i do things and i..regret them later with like every inch of my body and heart and it kinda...sucks? in some ways i feel like i dont deserve anything
ok this is depressing..that wasnt my full intent but atleast i got out what i was thinking..
later gators
So..here goes again..try to remember what i had said because i was actually satisfied and liked it..
Ok...first off..things have been ok lately..im finally over mono and can do things even though that doesnt make a bit of diffrence between steven and i because hes at work! Hes always working...im not going to mention that its really irritating because he needs the money and he actually likes his job? AND i dont want to be controlling..its just..work work work work um ok..whatever..
i was at tiffanys yesterday and i saw brendan for the first time in forever..it was ok..truthfully..and i hope he doesnt read this because hell just think im a complete loser..but truthfullly i wish we were friends like before..i remember how i used to like him and now..im like..afraid of him..i dont know why but i think its just because i know he hates my guts and hides it..maybe he never liked me but even so..what i did was like..soooo..wrong? i dunno..but anyways..
i tried to call mary again..no one answered
you know..ive had so many relationships that have crashed and burned that i probably cant count them on all my fingers. i think what i do is ..i do things and i..regret them later with like every inch of my body and heart and it kinda...sucks? in some ways i feel like i dont deserve anything
ok this is depressing..that wasnt my full intent but atleast i got out what i was thinking..
later gators