o so happy

[smileemptyfan]

Okay this is seriously the best freakin christmas i've had in for ever. I am now dating courtney Raney ( god he's so effin hot!) He is a great kisser too. Any ways we've been on 4 dates in the past week. They've all been awesome! We always end up makin out on our dates, But hey i ain't complaining. Every time i'm with him i never wanna leave and from the way he talks neither does he. I have practically almost fallen asleep in his arms 4 times. He is the first guy i've felt comfortable enough around to do that. I don't know i just feel safe and loved when i'm in his arms. I am beggining to wonder if this is what real love feels like..... He is the only guy that i have ever wanted to say it to and have it mean some thing. I only said it to other guys because i falt pressured to say it when they said it first. But i didn't want those i love you's to mean any thing. I want to tell courtney that i love him but i'm so scared of rejection. Like what if he dosen't love me back. I think this is the first time i've ever wanted it to mean something ever since my grandma died in my arms. I think i might tell him on valentines day. I hope this relationship lasts for a while. This is the first serious relationship that i've had in years. He is such a romantis and i like that. I love to cuddle and so does he so that makes us a great couple i guess. I guess i'll have to hold out on the urge to drop the l bomb. Well that is if i can. I am so glad he and i are dating. For once i can truely say i'm happy in a relationship.

Shout- outs:

Leigh- i'm having fun at your house and i ate so much at king b i feel like i'm gonna pass out. And this massaging chair feels ggoooooood.

Becky- hey ya hun bun just sayin hi and thought ya should know that i'm always here for you

Chris- im me you shnitzel

yeah well i'm done typing know so adios!