a blessing in doubt
I was so so looking forward to the weekends, actually. Regardless of the amount of work and tutorials I have to do for Monday. Guess what. This weekends, are speechless.
First off, the steamboat. Yes, I was awaiting for it. Or rather, quite excited. Like how often can eat steamboat! At most, that one time during CNY reunion dinner. So, we went to even get ingredients and desserts. Imagine, all the way to extreme east to get chased back to Jurong. =X Initially, it all started fine. Talking, eating, etc. Until the host starts to get abit cranky? While talking, the host starts to disappear from our conversation and says it's rubbish topics. Or when, we were about to leave, and the host hides in the room while we waiting, and all the host said was "Want to go, just go la. Need say bye bye de ah?" Overall, the food was good, and the rest still enjoyed nonetheless, minus those incidents.
Then airport, here we come! Explored abit and hanged around abit till we got chased out. =X
Finally, a one hour long drive back and home sweet home.
I remember he told me this once, 'jess, you are very blessed, with your family and friends.' And at time, I agreed. People around me who loves me for who I am. I do feel blessed. Then again, I'm starting to doubt him and myself. Indeed, my family is complete and great, though there are few minor quarrels and disagreements here and there occassionally. As for the other aspect, I'm not so sure. Quality, a definite must. Yet I wonder, why do I feel more at ease when I'm alone at times? Especially with some people. Some people whom I might even love to bits in the past, or totally enjoy their company where ever we are. It's not like, I'm an outcast or anything. Yet, I don't feel it. What's that 'it'? I have no idea too.
It particularly happened to certain people. And amazingly, I'm talking much more to people whom I wasn't as close to before. Whatever it is, I don't think I would find myself handling such stuffs this time, with other things breathing down my neck.
The usual me, just starts to tone down, starts to slowly distant herself from people around her. By toning down, I really mean it by not talking much, by not having my enthu self for anything.
This time, she's just sticking to those who are already stuck to her.
As for those who's originally stuck, but dropped off recently, I have no intention of making the past happen again.
All along, I wished we could turn back the clock, back to where we first met. Yet, thinking of it, I'm satisfied with whatever ending it is. Since it turned out to be this kind of ending, so be it.
Then it comes to this question, should I walk away quietly, or have I done it subconsciously?
So, does that blessing, still holds?
I do have my doubts about it.
I'm just blessed to have my family, my 5 precious guy/girlfriends, my friends in school currently, who have made my life less miserable for the past years and next few to come. As of now.
A "No-life" definition by lll : textbooks, no friends, no drama, no entertainment.
So when he said I have no life, I have no issues. I'm loving my no life life, so?
On an ending note, Titanic, was great. It relieved memories when I was a child and how much I liked the male lead then. A sad, short love story of two people. Oh well. I'm just glad to be home.
First off, the steamboat. Yes, I was awaiting for it. Or rather, quite excited. Like how often can eat steamboat! At most, that one time during CNY reunion dinner. So, we went to even get ingredients and desserts. Imagine, all the way to extreme east to get chased back to Jurong. =X Initially, it all started fine. Talking, eating, etc. Until the host starts to get abit cranky? While talking, the host starts to disappear from our conversation and says it's rubbish topics. Or when, we were about to leave, and the host hides in the room while we waiting, and all the host said was "Want to go, just go la. Need say bye bye de ah?" Overall, the food was good, and the rest still enjoyed nonetheless, minus those incidents.
Then airport, here we come! Explored abit and hanged around abit till we got chased out. =X
Finally, a one hour long drive back and home sweet home.
I remember he told me this once, 'jess, you are very blessed, with your family and friends.' And at time, I agreed. People around me who loves me for who I am. I do feel blessed. Then again, I'm starting to doubt him and myself. Indeed, my family is complete and great, though there are few minor quarrels and disagreements here and there occassionally. As for the other aspect, I'm not so sure. Quality, a definite must. Yet I wonder, why do I feel more at ease when I'm alone at times? Especially with some people. Some people whom I might even love to bits in the past, or totally enjoy their company where ever we are. It's not like, I'm an outcast or anything. Yet, I don't feel it. What's that 'it'? I have no idea too.
It particularly happened to certain people. And amazingly, I'm talking much more to people whom I wasn't as close to before. Whatever it is, I don't think I would find myself handling such stuffs this time, with other things breathing down my neck.
The usual me, just starts to tone down, starts to slowly distant herself from people around her. By toning down, I really mean it by not talking much, by not having my enthu self for anything.
This time, she's just sticking to those who are already stuck to her.
As for those who's originally stuck, but dropped off recently, I have no intention of making the past happen again.
All along, I wished we could turn back the clock, back to where we first met. Yet, thinking of it, I'm satisfied with whatever ending it is. Since it turned out to be this kind of ending, so be it.
Then it comes to this question, should I walk away quietly, or have I done it subconsciously?
So, does that blessing, still holds?
I do have my doubts about it.
I'm just blessed to have my family, my 5 precious guy/girlfriends, my friends in school currently, who have made my life less miserable for the past years and next few to come. As of now.
A "No-life" definition by lll : textbooks, no friends, no drama, no entertainment.
So when he said I have no life, I have no issues. I'm loving my no life life, so?
On an ending note, Titanic, was great. It relieved memories when I was a child and how much I liked the male lead then. A sad, short love story of two people. Oh well. I'm just glad to be home.