What a week!
Hello again,
It has been an amazing few days! On Thursday night, after posting my last entry, I started talking with Zackery. He told me that he is talking with his ex again but just strictly as friends, which finally answers my whole reconciliation question. Then, I told him that I am basically just talking with Will.. so it is pretty neat how we were on the same level sort of and did not quite realize it.
He started to talk with me a little more about relationships online, but then I had to leave the student center because it was almost 1:00! So, I asked him to call me so we could continue our conversation.. and that was when another one of my questions were answered. He said that he only had my number on his old phone and so once he cut the service off of it, he lost my number for good. This just seemed to release a lot of pent up resentment I had held against him for not calling me for almost two months. It is almost funny now to think that all this time when I thought he was ignoring me, he was really just getting settled in and among the bustle did not have my phone number. So, anyways, I gave my number to him and guess what? He actually called! We ended up talking about so many different things and towards the end of the conversation really dug in deep to things such as being a living testimony and sharing your struggles and strengths with others in order to give them a real picture of who you are. Then, he and I began to do just that. At one point in the conversation, I shared how I am still not completely over our friend commiting suicide and he stated that in life you really never know when you will see someone again. Then, I said that I was sure he knew that from experience with his dad. There was suddenly a long, quiet pause in the conversation.. You see, his dad died when he was only 12 and that really shook him and his mom up.. as it would anyone. But he tends to not talk about it much with me and early on I realized that it still hurts when it is mentioned. This time was different though, I felt almost as if we both could feel the other's pain through the silence. I was reassured of truth behind my feelings when he said that he is glad God is in control to break the silence. I could not help but feel soo drawn to this man of God who has been through so much in such a short amount of time.
We talked about our jobs. He said he is growing out his gotee so he can be the wise man who brings the Myrrh to the Christ Child in a live nativity they are doing at his church. I told him about my decision to stay on at the Hospital through December and how that is a blessing because I was not certain if they would let me work through December and then quit after that because of school. Yeah, so as the conversation was winding down he said he enjoyed it, that he should head for bed, and that he will talk to me soon. I said the same and said goodnight, without fully realizing how long we had been talking. It was about 4:30 in the morning when we hung up and we started talking around 11:00!! That is by far one of the longest and most uplifting conversations I have ever had with him! It was certainly a God-send because I was starting to truly wonder if Zackery and I could still be friends even though we have never met and lost contact for a few months. God is soo good. I know and TRUST that he has a plan for me, and I am willing to follow that plan, even if it means only holding loosely to this connectedness with Zackery or putting my heart on the line. Prayer has truly become invaluable in my relationship with the One who is greater than my heart and knows everything.. it always has been I just have not been able to really see that until this year! May God greatly bless you as you seek his will in your life! LOve, Danielle
It has been an amazing few days! On Thursday night, after posting my last entry, I started talking with Zackery. He told me that he is talking with his ex again but just strictly as friends, which finally answers my whole reconciliation question. Then, I told him that I am basically just talking with Will.. so it is pretty neat how we were on the same level sort of and did not quite realize it.
He started to talk with me a little more about relationships online, but then I had to leave the student center because it was almost 1:00! So, I asked him to call me so we could continue our conversation.. and that was when another one of my questions were answered. He said that he only had my number on his old phone and so once he cut the service off of it, he lost my number for good. This just seemed to release a lot of pent up resentment I had held against him for not calling me for almost two months. It is almost funny now to think that all this time when I thought he was ignoring me, he was really just getting settled in and among the bustle did not have my phone number. So, anyways, I gave my number to him and guess what? He actually called! We ended up talking about so many different things and towards the end of the conversation really dug in deep to things such as being a living testimony and sharing your struggles and strengths with others in order to give them a real picture of who you are. Then, he and I began to do just that. At one point in the conversation, I shared how I am still not completely over our friend commiting suicide and he stated that in life you really never know when you will see someone again. Then, I said that I was sure he knew that from experience with his dad. There was suddenly a long, quiet pause in the conversation.. You see, his dad died when he was only 12 and that really shook him and his mom up.. as it would anyone. But he tends to not talk about it much with me and early on I realized that it still hurts when it is mentioned. This time was different though, I felt almost as if we both could feel the other's pain through the silence. I was reassured of truth behind my feelings when he said that he is glad God is in control to break the silence. I could not help but feel soo drawn to this man of God who has been through so much in such a short amount of time.
We talked about our jobs. He said he is growing out his gotee so he can be the wise man who brings the Myrrh to the Christ Child in a live nativity they are doing at his church. I told him about my decision to stay on at the Hospital through December and how that is a blessing because I was not certain if they would let me work through December and then quit after that because of school. Yeah, so as the conversation was winding down he said he enjoyed it, that he should head for bed, and that he will talk to me soon. I said the same and said goodnight, without fully realizing how long we had been talking. It was about 4:30 in the morning when we hung up and we started talking around 11:00!! That is by far one of the longest and most uplifting conversations I have ever had with him! It was certainly a God-send because I was starting to truly wonder if Zackery and I could still be friends even though we have never met and lost contact for a few months. God is soo good. I know and TRUST that he has a plan for me, and I am willing to follow that plan, even if it means only holding loosely to this connectedness with Zackery or putting my heart on the line. Prayer has truly become invaluable in my relationship with the One who is greater than my heart and knows everything.. it always has been I just have not been able to really see that until this year! May God greatly bless you as you seek his will in your life! LOve, Danielle