No more feelings please
I wish you hadn't become my whole world. It's so hard to break. Not calling not being with you every day. You are my home. I don't know why I'm here if I'm not with you. Even when I make plans with my friends I don't feel like it because I saw you, i saw you are with her i know you guys are together and it fucking kills. Oh fuck. When will this be over? Fucking relapse over and over again. I hate how bad I want to see you. I know i can't and i shouldn't and that will only make this harder so I'm not but.. I miss you. I just want to have fun and joke around and now all of a sudden people are swarming me with feelings I can't handle right now. I miss college so much. It was care free and all my friends were right there and it was really wonderful. I work all day and then putt around til bed. I'm pretty much a zombie. I do have fun with friends, but its fleeting because as soon as i hear your name or see your face i just fall back into heartbreak all over again. I literally had a panic attack at work. I never thought I would react that way. I actually had to talk to myself over and over again just saying everything was okay. What the hell? I mean, this is ridiculous. I'm on week 3. I should be doing so much better. I guess i am, i mean I'm not crying all the time I'm just kind of numb.
I want you to love me. So badly. It's sickening.
I know better. I do. I really do. I won't call you. I won't bug you. I know I'll get over this. I know this isn't the end of the world. I know we'll both be happier. I know this is just the dramatic love life of a teenage girl and I will look back on this and hardly remember the pain i went through so it doesn't even matter. I'll remember that we were head over heals for each other, and we hurt each other a lot so we broke up. Thats it.
This is summer. Just go have fun. These are the best years of my life. Why waste them sulking?
I want you to love me. So badly. It's sickening.
I know better. I do. I really do. I won't call you. I won't bug you. I know I'll get over this. I know this isn't the end of the world. I know we'll both be happier. I know this is just the dramatic love life of a teenage girl and I will look back on this and hardly remember the pain i went through so it doesn't even matter. I'll remember that we were head over heals for each other, and we hurt each other a lot so we broke up. Thats it.
This is summer. Just go have fun. These are the best years of my life. Why waste them sulking?