Torque's birthday
I feel like I can do it. I was actually thinking, it might be better if were friends, it's a lot easier to be myself when I don't have to constantly worry about how he feels and what I did to make him hurt and so forth, I can just be, and he can just be, I love run on sentences because perhaps you can sense my stream of consciousness and that if I pause in my speech I just might change my mind. No. I really shouldn't. This will be better. He might be right, the only reason I'm trying so hard is because he did. And he didn't really love me. But so what? he thought he did. I still felt his love. It was real, it was just different than he thought. He loved me like the girl of his dreams, because he thought I was. We both realize that I'm not, but that's okay. He wanted us to be perfect for one another. I told him that nobody's prefect, that the reason two people can be "perfect" for each other, is accepting the others faults and loving them anyway. I think I'm right. He's thinking about it, to see if he can still be with me even though I'm not the girl of his dreams. Maybe he shouldn't. I still want to tell him how much I love him. Can I do that as friends? If I don't say it I'll still feel it, he'll still know it. It's not a secret.
We've known each other one year today.
We've known each other one year today.