sigh
I just want to cry... all the time it seems, and I have no idea why. Im antsy. I hate working at the front desk... it stresses me out, and its making me into this mean person that I DO NOT like... I get so frusterated when people are rude... like wtf did I do to you? HELLO! ohwell. I guess its all part of being a team player... but Im quickly growing tired of playing for this team. Take advantage of my good nature. Take advantage and then get mad when I make a decision... YOU TOLD ME TO MAKE IN THE FIRST PLACE! And on top of everything you're not paying me enough money to continue to do your bitch work... and work as hard as I do. Im so over it. I want my old job back and I want it back now. You basicly told me this is what I get to do... WHERE WAS MY SAY IN THE WHOLE SITUATION??? FUCK THIS. (((GOD IM NOT HER FUCKING DO BITCH! EVERYTHING THAT GOES WRONG>>> FALLS INTO MY LAP! EVEN IF ITS NOT MY FAULT THAT AMBER OR MADDY SCHEDULED WHEN SHE NEEDS TO BE AT FUCKING ROTARY! GET OVER IT AND GET A CLUE! LIFE DOESNT DEPEND ON WHETHER OR NOT YOU GO TO ROTARY! AND YOU SHOULD BE FUCKING HAPPY WE NEED EVERY AVAILABLE SPACE TO SCHEDULE APPOINTMENTS!)))
Dad asked me last night if I was going to marry David... I got this warm fuzzy feeling inside... and told him probably... I hope so... He made me feel better about making myself happy first and foremost and not stessing so much about trying to make everyone else happy. He told me he would only be concerned if he thought I was with someone who was holding me back and that that isnt the case... He did say he thinks I'm holding myself back by not going to school... but we talked about that and he understands better now I think... he exemplifies everything I want to be as a person. EVERYTHING... Im a very lucky girl... thats about it.
Family life is better ... except I dont think I will ever understand what is going on with Katie. One day we're talking like old friends, the nxt... SHE HATES ME? I was talking to Kevin and he said she was saying we're not on speaking terms. LIKE HELLO?? I didnt know that... thanks for the update. I am so over her bullshit I could vomit... especially because... I DONT GET IT. I cant understand! Thats so frusterating!! Is it jealousy? is it spite? I just dont understand.
Im on this new no carb kick. Its going pretty well except yesterday and today I just want to eat real food. Im not sure if its just a state of mind... or if its how Im convincing myself to continue ... but I think Im noticing a difference already! Its kinda exciting... but who knows!
half an hour and Im out of this shit fucking place.
on to a much better weekend with my man!
Dad asked me last night if I was going to marry David... I got this warm fuzzy feeling inside... and told him probably... I hope so... He made me feel better about making myself happy first and foremost and not stessing so much about trying to make everyone else happy. He told me he would only be concerned if he thought I was with someone who was holding me back and that that isnt the case... He did say he thinks I'm holding myself back by not going to school... but we talked about that and he understands better now I think... he exemplifies everything I want to be as a person. EVERYTHING... Im a very lucky girl... thats about it.
Family life is better ... except I dont think I will ever understand what is going on with Katie. One day we're talking like old friends, the nxt... SHE HATES ME? I was talking to Kevin and he said she was saying we're not on speaking terms. LIKE HELLO?? I didnt know that... thanks for the update. I am so over her bullshit I could vomit... especially because... I DONT GET IT. I cant understand! Thats so frusterating!! Is it jealousy? is it spite? I just dont understand.
Im on this new no carb kick. Its going pretty well except yesterday and today I just want to eat real food. Im not sure if its just a state of mind... or if its how Im convincing myself to continue ... but I think Im noticing a difference already! Its kinda exciting... but who knows!
half an hour and Im out of this shit fucking place.
on to a much better weekend with my man!