who can say that i've been changed for the better....
.
i don't remember what happiness feels like. i don't really remember the last time i was truely happy - i think it may have been when i was doing Jekyll and Hyde at the Arts Centre. mum even mentions this to me these days - that was the last time she saw me happy.
i've forgotten how it feels. i've forgotten what confidence feels like, too. i never used to have much but at least i had some. it's been replaced by loneliness - that, i didn't know the real meaning of, but i have since learned it. i never realised now lucky i was. not to have known what all of this stuff inside me feels like.
i've had dreams and hope and faith shattered before me. i've had reality slap me across the face and leave a mark.
i wish i could be happy again.
but things aren't gonna change. that's something i must remind myself every, single, day.
.
i don't remember what happiness feels like. i don't really remember the last time i was truely happy - i think it may have been when i was doing Jekyll and Hyde at the Arts Centre. mum even mentions this to me these days - that was the last time she saw me happy.
i've forgotten how it feels. i've forgotten what confidence feels like, too. i never used to have much but at least i had some. it's been replaced by loneliness - that, i didn't know the real meaning of, but i have since learned it. i never realised now lucky i was. not to have known what all of this stuff inside me feels like.
i've had dreams and hope and faith shattered before me. i've had reality slap me across the face and leave a mark.
i wish i could be happy again.
but things aren't gonna change. that's something i must remind myself every, single, day.
.