Yay! Thats All I gotta say!!!
Yay is only one feeling that I have going through me today. Alright, so I finished my song today. Okay, so it may not be a big deal at all to some people, but to me it's so huge. I have never been able to write worth a crap my whole life. I mean, I could do like essays and that kinda stuff, but like songs and poetry and that kinda stuff, I could never focus on. It was just that impossible thing that eluded me for some reason or another. Maybe cuz I'm too a.d.d. to try and get it together or somethin, I don't know, anyways that's beside the point. I went to the church today at like 2, cuz I knew nobody would be there and I could play and write and stuff with no distractions. God had placed this song on my heart about I guess 3 weeks ago, and I've been playin with it since then, but it's been really hard to at my house, cuz there are always ten thousand people here. Well, today, it all came together, and it was just the greatest release and joy I have had in a long time. It's like, my purpose and plan for my life, I've been given such a glimpse of what God has for me and I'm so excited. Let me give an illustration. What hapened to me today is like Mt. Everest. Now, I'm not at the mountain yet, I haven't flown there yet, I haven't bought any of my materials. I just bought my plane ticket. Now, I know my destination and I know that there is a mountainous awesome thing in my future, and I am so excited to be able to climb it. Make sense??
I am such a dreamer, and it just amazes me sometimes that God would ever allow me to do anything, cuz I am a nobody. I don't want fame, or money, or prestige I just want to be used by God for His glory. All this crap that's been goin on in my life, has totally been worth it to produce such a product. I mean, I see the big picture, and I'm not worried, which really freaks a lot of people out, but I figure, I've only got one lifetime, I've got to do something with it. Yeah, 40,000 for culinary school, looks like a huge waste right now, but I know that's not what I'm supposed to do with my life. I have been practically crippled in every way, tryin to tell me that I am not meant to be in that life. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It kills me, but at the same time, for me, it never gave me any purpose. I want to make a difference in peoples lives, and I'm not sayin that there's anything at all wrong with it, but it's not what I'm supposed to do. God has really blessed me with super parents, who are so supportive of me and whatever I want to do. They haven't given me any crap about it at all, and are totally willing to support me while I await my next position. I mean, I know that my life isn't gonna be a whirlwind of a difference tomorrow, but I know that my life has taken a step forward. Ahhhh, I think I'm gonna just go do something tonight, cuz now I'm too excited to sit here. Thanx for reading all of this, you must really love me to look at all of this!!!! I just had to record it, so I wouldn't forget what I felt like today.
I am such a dreamer, and it just amazes me sometimes that God would ever allow me to do anything, cuz I am a nobody. I don't want fame, or money, or prestige I just want to be used by God for His glory. All this crap that's been goin on in my life, has totally been worth it to produce such a product. I mean, I see the big picture, and I'm not worried, which really freaks a lot of people out, but I figure, I've only got one lifetime, I've got to do something with it. Yeah, 40,000 for culinary school, looks like a huge waste right now, but I know that's not what I'm supposed to do with my life. I have been practically crippled in every way, tryin to tell me that I am not meant to be in that life. Don't get me wrong, I love it. It kills me, but at the same time, for me, it never gave me any purpose. I want to make a difference in peoples lives, and I'm not sayin that there's anything at all wrong with it, but it's not what I'm supposed to do. God has really blessed me with super parents, who are so supportive of me and whatever I want to do. They haven't given me any crap about it at all, and are totally willing to support me while I await my next position. I mean, I know that my life isn't gonna be a whirlwind of a difference tomorrow, but I know that my life has taken a step forward. Ahhhh, I think I'm gonna just go do something tonight, cuz now I'm too excited to sit here. Thanx for reading all of this, you must really love me to look at all of this!!!! I just had to record it, so I wouldn't forget what I felt like today.