So there I was . . .
On Thursdays, a local bakery makes pizzas, and I really like their spinach gorgonzola. So if I happen to be in town doing errands on Thursdays, I stop in for a slice. However, being a hot spot for lunch, I often have to stand in line for a few minutes. Today, I was put into a position that can be great fun or absolute hell, depending on the circumstances. The position I am talking about is when you are standing behind someone in a line, and then a person who the person ahead of you in line knows comes up behind you. Inevitably, they begin talking through you, and you cannot avoid eavesdropping. As a writer, this is often a great thing, because you can eavesdrop and observe without even having to make a pretense at not listening.
So these people begin talking about various things, all of which ended with me using every amount of self-control I have (of which I have very little to begin with) to keep from cracking up in fits of laughter. First, one of the speakers was there with her grandson. Apparently he dressed up as Harry Potter for Halloween. The other speaker said, "He does look a little like Harry Potter." Not only did the kid look nothing like the illustrations I have seen of Harry Potter, but he looked nothing like the actor portraying him in the movies. The little fella was short, blonde, and round. Neville Longbottom, maybe.
Then came a discussion of Christmas and how they had no money for gifts, and how tough it was living from paycheck to paycheck. As they are saying this, they are putting down over $30 on overly expensive pizza, pastries, and coffee. A cream puff from this bakery could feed a family of 4 for a weekend. My tongue is still bleeding from where I bit it.
Finally, the conversation came around to how terrible television is. Now my wife and I decided not to purchase cable for our home, so we have a TV with rabbit ears that get a couple of channels but mostly static, and we rent anything we want to watch. So these people were railing on and on about how terrible television programs are, and how there is nothing on television worth watching. Except, of course, for the 50+ shows they do seem to like and watch faithfully. Including American Idol. And apparently any show involving home videos of people getting hit in the groin or taking painful-looking falls.
This is yet another supporting anecdote in my theory that people as individuals are decent enough, but people as a whole are idiots. But hey, I got the last piece of spinach gorgonzola pizza, so life is good.
So these people begin talking about various things, all of which ended with me using every amount of self-control I have (of which I have very little to begin with) to keep from cracking up in fits of laughter. First, one of the speakers was there with her grandson. Apparently he dressed up as Harry Potter for Halloween. The other speaker said, "He does look a little like Harry Potter." Not only did the kid look nothing like the illustrations I have seen of Harry Potter, but he looked nothing like the actor portraying him in the movies. The little fella was short, blonde, and round. Neville Longbottom, maybe.
Then came a discussion of Christmas and how they had no money for gifts, and how tough it was living from paycheck to paycheck. As they are saying this, they are putting down over $30 on overly expensive pizza, pastries, and coffee. A cream puff from this bakery could feed a family of 4 for a weekend. My tongue is still bleeding from where I bit it.
Finally, the conversation came around to how terrible television is. Now my wife and I decided not to purchase cable for our home, so we have a TV with rabbit ears that get a couple of channels but mostly static, and we rent anything we want to watch. So these people were railing on and on about how terrible television programs are, and how there is nothing on television worth watching. Except, of course, for the 50+ shows they do seem to like and watch faithfully. Including American Idol. And apparently any show involving home videos of people getting hit in the groin or taking painful-looking falls.
This is yet another supporting anecdote in my theory that people as individuals are decent enough, but people as a whole are idiots. But hey, I got the last piece of spinach gorgonzola pizza, so life is good.