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[smerfyems]

So tired---the emotions have depleted me. I'm raw today---I haven't been this way since Ashley left. I'm sad for so many things today. Today I feel like crawling into the woods and sitting---watching water carry sticks swiftly over land. Staring at various shades of brown littering the ground----all dead---but standing on top of life's potential. Life wanting to push through the debris. A small green blub through the dirt, pulling its life from the surrounding death. I want to feel that poetential under my feet---I want to know it's coming, with time.

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I'd like to see her...anyone before would have sacred me--her I would find comfort in.
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I can barely bring this thought to page---asleep in the cold hard ground..
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There are two that I write off to weakness...one proves me wrong....i can only hope the other will...