Curse You!
Operation Stick it to the Man went well however that will be the last little piece of mischief that Little Scott and I will be pulling. In fact, today is the last day that I will be seeing Little Scott. Aside from having Little Scott skip school, vandalizing the school with nonsense posters and feeding him junk from McDonalds (I guess they are all still a little sour about losing the fattening fast food lawsuit) his kindergarten supervisor, his mother and the people at Big Brothers of Vex were not too keen about his constant use of foul language. What can I say, I couldn’t have Little Scott talking like a sissy. I could care less what six-year-old Little Scott’s seventeen-year-old mother or the old hag that manages his kindergarten "class" thinks. Little Scott will one day become Big Scott and on that day he will be a force to be reckoned with. I saw a lot of potential in him during the few days we spent together. He too will probably have a "curse word" laden vocabulary.
This whole experience has brought something very important to my attention. America has a problem with foul language. It's tearing at the very fabric of society, turning us all into a nation of rude, self-righteous bastards.
It's not that we are cursing too often or gratuitously; not at all. It's that we're not cursing often enough. Yes that's right. I urge you all to go out and start using the A-word, the B-word, the C-word, the D-word and the rainbow of colorful E through Z words that comprise the vulgar vernacular.
"But Scott," you say, "if I did that, why I'd be no better than those potty-mouths on the MTV and the rock and roll music!"
Au contraire, mon petit concombre! Mais Non! Pas du tout.
Please, excuse my French, but I'm really passionate about this. The problem is not with the foul of mouth, but rather with those of us who are offended by it. Words, in and of themselves, have no power. A certain someone once wrote that in the Vedas, one could read about a special energy of the universe that manifests as the letters of the alphabet. He said that this energy is known as the Matrika Shakti which is said to deserve utmost respect and to hold tremendous power. According to ancient Hinduism each letter of the alphabet is supposed to hold a part of this power and gives meaning to what people say. I however, disagree. I could stand at the top of the world and scream the F-word at the top of my lungs and nothing would happen. The F-word has no innate power. The only power it has lies in the minds of others. In fact, merely by calling it "the F-word" I just gave it more power. The mystique continues because I won't print the word fuck on my website.
Now that I wrote it, your eye is drawn to it. In fact, your mind probably picked out that word before you even finished reading the sentence. It's not a particularly long word. I didn't write it in bold or italic print. But still it jumps out at you clearer than the word "bucket" for example. I just typed out a simple four-letter word, completely free of any derogatory context of any kind. But I guarantee that at least one person who reads this will wish I hadn't.
Perhaps some historical context will help explain my point a bit further. See, most words we consider "bad words" entered the english language with the Norman invasion of England, circa 1066 CE. The Normans considered themselves a higher class of people than the resident Anglo-Saxons. As the Normans comprised the upper caste, Norman terms were considered polite, while the Saxon words were considered base and crass. So, everytime you get upset upon hearing a "curse word", you're actually just perpetuating racism based on a medieval class struggle. That makes you a big ol' Nazi.
And nobody likes a Zilk, ahem… I mean Nazi.
I'm just sayin'...
Let us all say a prayer for the Little Scotts in the world.
Laters!