(no subject)

[smellycoder]

i lost my conference talk virginity yesterday. it was strange. more than anything else, i felt empty and deflated afterward...disappointed for reasons unknown even to myself. a lot of people came up to me afterward and said i did a good job, but all i saw were bored people in the audience and empty seats. sometimes i wonder if people are honest when they say "good job" or if they're trying to be nice.

anyway,I had drinks with my advisor and some tech people afterward, then took to roaming the streets of san jose with irtluhc. we talked about unsaid stuff that needed to be talked about.

and i just feel kind of weird right now. i hope this mood passes soon.