Disgusted
I have the emotional capabilities of a 3 year old, unable to regulate or control anything. Even though I thought years of therapy would be enough to prepare me for this moment, I am broken. So broken. And so viscerally ill over this. The attempt to muster all the "happiness" for him has taken its toll. I am ready to surrender to anything that comes my way now. Please just let me go. I have even failed my own therapist by not being able to do this. WTF is wrong with me?