Apr 08, 2004 13:18
i am sitting in a little cubicle as of right now......and have been for quite some while......... i have been cleaning up files....... botched files....... i guess some dumbfuck decided that checks for "zero dollars and zero cents" should be taken note of........ well theres about one million gazillion files. and the past couple of hours have consisted of HIGLIGHT-DELETE-HIGHLIGHT-DELETE-HIGHLIGHT-DELETE............
maybe its the fact that this cheapfuck office depot chair will not recline, forcing me to sit upright, straight.......... or maybe its the lady with teased blonde hair that keeps coming into my sectioned off area..... [see those two grey walls bitch? back the fuck off you're on my territory.....] she keeps coming in to tell me witty little anecdotes. i really dont care about what happened to your son in Arizona.
anyway.......... today has made me realize that when i grow up, i really dont want a job, and i will avoid getting one at all costs.
first off, fuck the whole corporate office building bullshit... who would want to come into this shithole every single day, ruin their eyes by staring blankly (and even moreso, pointlessly) into a screen for hours and hours......... numbers......... ones and zeros............. until they hang themselves from the same ceiling fans that spread the smell of rotten chinese takeout through all of the office vents. i'd be dead in a week.
second off, fuck the idea of owning something of your own. nothing is your own anymore. nothing is original. oh, you're starting your own business you say? fascinating. but it isn't. because i bet if you look up whatever bullshit you're trying to start off in your garage in the phone book there will be a number you can call to get someone to do whatever it is much faster, and much more efficiently. and i bet you they don't work in their garage, i bet you they work in one of the huge aforementioned buildings. yeah, the kind that smell like rotten chinese food.
at least there are the artists. people like zoe.............. zoe, as an artist, may very well one day be rich and famous. she may very well be a total flop. this is a risk she is willing to take. she is aware that there are better job opportunities out there. but she knows what she is doing. zoe is very motivated. not to mention motivational. Jason too. Jason dapples in film. he could be a huge failure too. but these people... they know what they're doing. they know what they want.
i really like it when people do what makes them happy.
unfortunately, i seriously fucking hate art. and film. ok, i love art and film, but i really dont want to have anything to do with the production of either because i hate things that are time consuming, troublesome, involve a lot of social contact, require a clear mind every now and then............ and i do not enjoy creating shit.
so basically, i'm kinda fucked for choosing a future career.
but........ i am a clever girl..... and i'm good at getting out of situations. i'm also very good at manipulation, and lies. i'm not one to be fucked with.
this leaves me with only one option. when i grow up, i am going to fuck people over. bad. real bad.
stealing, fraud, and drugs. this is all i can see myself being any good at.
and i'm happy. and excited. because at least i'll never be stuck in a place like this.