things i dont remember.........

[smelltheroses]

hm......... well its lauras day of birth and i spent the day riding my bike and baking a vegan cake.... now i'm very depressed......... and very much in the mood for drugs....... or perhaps a shower........... i really need to do my homework...... but i know i wont....... because i dont want to....... and i will get bad grades........ and my parents will ground me...... and i wont listen..... and something dramatic will happen......... and i'll be off the hook...... and i'll go to school.... and i will continue to not do my homework....... and i'll go to detention..... and i'll get expelled....... and i'll shower once in a while...... and try to lose weight....... and hate looking in the mirror.... and know it will never get better....... and know nobody understands........ but everyone knows what they're talking about..... i'll cry myself to sleep....... i'll grow my hair out so i look like a girl, i'll cut my hair so i look unique........ but i wont..... i'll ignore my phone and feel guilty for avoiding my friends..... i'll answer my phone and feel bad for not knowing what to say to my friends......... i'll long for my bed all day....... and feel lonely when i'm in it.......

i need to run away to something more meaningful

we need to run away to something more meaningful