Entry 03
Some of you on this boat need to reconsider your manners... but some of you are nice enough, like that green-haired girl who cooks in Sergei's. She's got a great personality. Anyone who wants some nice food, you should give Sergei's a gander.
[Now that his very subtle attempt to hook that ugly girl Herz up with one of the single men on the ship is ( Read more... )
[Now that his very subtle attempt to hook that ugly girl Herz up with one of the single men on the ship is ( Read more... )
Y'know, my friend Herz works at Sergei's and has green hair. I wonder if he knows he's gotta twin!
Reply
No, I'm talking about Herz. She's lovely. Fantastic personality.
Reply
Pfffffuguugh!
Dude!
No!
Herz is a dude! I should know! I lived withim fer, like, six months! I've pretty much seen all'a that, and he's SO a DUDE!
[Sal laughs for a few seconds, then sniffs. You can't see, but he is flicking away tears.]
Yeah... dude...
How do you mistake him for a chick? Are you blind?
Reply
Reply
Heeeeee's
aaaaaaaaaahhhhh
duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.
No titties, there, trust me. An', uh... down under? Not quite what yer thinkin'.
He's a dude, no matter now charmin' an' 'spectable he is.
Reply
Listen, I don't know about whatever backwoods junk-shanty you grew up in, but discussing a woman's--
[Edward was born in the early 20th century after all. He's a bit old fashioned.]
Her figure is obviously not meant for the likes of you.
Reply
But Herz is a man
Y'know.
Whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty fine man?
S'rainin' men?
He's the man?
Song fer the man?
Are you man enough?
Be a man?
She's a maniac, maniac, on the floor?
...Do you get it yet?
Reply
[Edward does not listen to pop music.
He blinks.]
Reply
That wasn't th'point. It was the word man. Y'know, I'm sure he'd be more'n willin' t'prove it t'you. He's pretty proud'a his manhood.
Reply
Reply
I think we're jus' tryin' t'get yer thick head wrapped 'round a fact.
But it seems like we're havin' trouble managin', seein' as y'seem t'be thick as a manatee on the subject of gender. Not that s'mandatory t'be totally not be a maniac, which y'mus' be. But Herz ain't a chick. He's real well-mannered, but s'not like he gets manicures. Is there some kinda man manual yer basin' this off of?
[Okay, now he's just fucking around...]
Reply
[Edward thinks hard.
Something... is wrong here.
He squints.
He replays back Sal's last message.
He frowns.]
... So I'm a maniac for trying to help find her a nice man, and you're a gentleman for mocking her figure on an open channel. Save her from friends like you, she wouldn't survive enemies.
Reply
Look.
She is a man.
I've seen it. Seen her body. So I know she is a he.
But... y'know, if yer wantin' t'find him a boyfriend, I don't think he'll mind that part. He does like dudes.
Reply
[Edward drums his fingers on top of the piano.]
But who? I think Herz would be much happier with a nice boyfriend.
Reply
Though, from what I hear, he ain't had bad luck on his own, y'know. He may not need yer matchmakin' help.
Reply
[Oops, he kinda outed Herz's love of romances to the whole ship lol]
Reply
Leave a comment