Well I've spent the last few weeks under various illnesses and general crapness....it's not been my year since I broke my arm! I'm forgetting what it was like to be healthy (err...healthier). Went back to work on a ocuple hours sleep, then watched a tech screening of The Ring 2, which I'd realised wouldn't equal the first, and it didn't! But it added some nice storyline elements to it, and had some really cool visuals (Samara walking up the well like a contortionist) yet I can't help but feel it ruined a lot of the mysticism from the first remake, thus making it jumpy scary, with far too much Samara, as opposed to physchological. Oh, and it was almost ruined by the line:
"I'm not your fucking mommy!"
Which has to be the cheesiest line since Return of the King! How can it be less Americanised than the first when you have a line like that? I'm gonna get sleepless nights over it..I just know it!
Found my old deadjournal the other night, and was amazed that it hadn't been deleted...and I'm grateful beause I found a fuck load of poetry I'd put up there that went with my old PC's hard drive! Not only that, but it's got some classic quotes and memories of inferno, dating back to 2001!...so for Nik's benifit (and anyone who went with us there) here comes the best of Inferno! Nik, prepare those tears of nostaligia!
Monday, June 10th, 2002
Saturday - Inferno (open till 4am from next week!) a good turn out for this one, and it was Gemma's birthday too, which meant I had Liz's blue bear bag for the night while Bandy had Pilchard. They both got down like the bag bitches that they are! Bandy should stop sucking them tho...Shame Gemma's dick boyfriend was there, but he knows nobody likes him by now. Dramatics at the end...she punched him and he stormed off...but then Nik got the blame etc..sillyness.I had a puke green bon jovi T.shirt on, with glitter around my eyes and a blue bear bag on my back....Bandy had a bright yellow limp Bizkit top with a glitter goatie and a big pilchard bag on...at one time he had some chair stuffing hanging from his mouth too. Bandy should really stop molesting people like he does on the dancefloor....anyway, the evening ended up with Jack saying horribly embarrasing things to Caroline, about Caroline...while Bandy promptly stuck a 10 pence piece in his ass. I kid you not...however it fell out onto the floor at one time, so he picked it up and uh....it ended back where it came from lets say.
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Sunday, May 12th, 2002
I have a small bump on my head where Bandy hit me with the burger I knocked on the floor (with Carolines food) when he tried to put salad all over her food I was holding...not quite sure what happened there, think it was his fist and the burger.
Yadda, yadda. We got a taxi to the road near mine and Wilz's houses, and decided to climb trees and throw glass bottles in a car park (Wilz typically managed to almost hit a man on the street who then threatened him after he appologised lol) Then I wanted to go exploring the woodland and golf course area right by us, so we went exploring there and eventually all these back streets where we got for sale signs and put them in wheelie bins...uh, and stole plant pots from people's gardens...the most disturbing thing I'll mention is Bandy wiping his ass on one...anyway, after me hitting Wilz with road signs and rolling down people's gardens, we got to this field/waste land near the air field and sat, talked and phoned people up. At 5am while the sun rose. It was all hilarious and disgusting but at half five Wilz decided he needed sleep. So me and Bandy walked back through our trail of nuinces and stupidity toward the golf course, where we decided to take up golf and eventually got back to my house. Bandy went off his own way to his, I got home, checked mail, texted about inner space being on tv and crashed out on my bed. My hoodie is covered in all sorts of crap and my dog won't stop sniffing my trousers.
THE END.
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Wednesday, April 17th, 2002
Saturday was fun despite me loding my simcard in the toilets. Nik was meeting a girl from hereford and her friend. This girl turned out to be a bit neurotic (and maybe annoyed that Nik fancied her friend not her) and kept saying I had to be gay just because I'm really camp when I'm drunk (apparently). It's not my fault all your previous blokes have cheated on you with men or something...geeesh. I think I really offended her tho, by (sarcasticly) saying she must be a dyke because she had short-ish hair... but she was funny and her friend had a blue bear bag that I kept molesting. Uh, she got really scared in the end I think...must stop with the animal bag handling...
Caroline was there being lovely and buying drinks while pining over Joe as he was working at the bar,(it's so sweet watching them trying to get eachothers attention) heh. Jack was there getting really drunk and also buying drinks (that I didn't encourage AT ALL) and us three were getting down while Nik sat down talking to the girls for most of it.
Quotes!
'Mike you're the best!'
'No Sam, you're the best!'
'No Mike YOU'RE the best'
'No SAM...'
'Your name isn't really Kitty is it? Do you ever get confused with the band Kittie?' - Me to a girl who's real name IS Kitty. Is there no end to my offending people?
'You're so GAY!' - Hereford girl
'Why would I want to be gay? You only like men cos you're biologically programmed to. I like women cos they're sexy.' - Me
'OH God I've just seen the most disturbing thing ever...' - me
'What?' - Nik
'Kiiieeeron is wearing a thong...' - Me
'ARGH!' - Nik
'How can you say Lostprophets are better than Incubus? Are you stupid? *I clutch my nose to make it look like the singer from the lostprophets nose* "OOOO LOOK AT ME! I'M SHIT AND NOT AS GOOD AS INCUBUS! LOOK AT MY NOSE!"
'Am I being really embarrassing? I said I would be...' - Myself again
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Thursday, April 11th, 2002
Saturday at Inferno is always going to be fun when Bandy's there and I have money to spend. We were finding everyone completely hilarious as they didn't realise quite how stupid they look (where as I am always aware if I'm looking stupid). I remember when me and Bandy were in the toilets, and after we had written things all over the cubicals in chalk (like SUCK MY MINT etc) this guy was telling us about cardboard cuts outs of Sarah Michelle Gellar, and how you can have sex with them if you cut a hole and put a piece of liver behind so it....yes. Then as this was going on the bouncers were looking at us and we thought it was cos we were chatting in the toilets...so we walked out, but really it's cos someone was smoking weed. But the finniest thing had to be a welsh woman who we call 'Kieron' because she was like going out with some bloke called Kieron....We once made the mistake of talking to her, then another week she pulled Jack (which had to be the most bizarre thing) and we wouldn't shut up to him about that after. So this week Bandy comes up to us and says how he's being followed by her, which isn't suprising considering she was trying to muscle in on us dancing earlier. Nik doesn't believe her at first until Bandy points out that she's just over there and that she even waited outside the toilets for him. So we get out of her sight, and then we're getting down and she appears out of the crowd and starts coming onto Bandy who then legs it off the dancefloor to the toilets. So this annoying welsh woman who looks more like a little boy than anythings else, starts coming onto me stating in a welsh shrill that she knows me. I get so scared by this that I back off with Jack to the table behind us, trying to act as tho Jack's dragging away...but she pursues, so I run through the dancefloor and out the other side, leaving Jack at her mercy. I find Nik and search the toilets for Bandy...
'BANDY?'
'Mint..I'm not coming out, she'll get me!'
'Come on, she came onto me too, there's more of us than her, we'll just runaway!' I said
He steps out of the cubical with a classic look of horror on his face. So we walk out carefully, looking around and make our way once more to the dancefloor. So we're getting down around the outside (the dancefloor is packed bear in mind) and then like Michael Myers she appears once again! Bandy run again, me and Nik just burst out laughing and then I realise she's in close proximity...so I head in Bandy's direction, where we gather once more in the far corner of the dancefloor. We think she got the point, and she ended up with some bloke who obviously had too much to drink hahaha. This whole episode ends up with us outside and her being behind Bandy as he shouts;
'I know she's behind me! fuck off, just fuck off!'
And I think we ran down the street, she didn't follow thank God. But I think she may have been seriously offended. Ah well it will keep her away from us in future I spose. Ah I love drunken saturdays so much!
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Time for some quotes about the girls at inferno...
"She's attractive in a 'fuck me' way" -Me about 'Hariet the Porn Star'. No that isn't her real name.
"She's attractive in a 'I want to fuck her' way" - Just after the last comment I believe about Claire Ainger girl. So called because she looks like a goth Claire Ainger...slightly.
"She looks like little Laura..." - Caroline
"So? it doesn't stop her being sexy" - Nik about sexy goth girl.
"I think she looks a bit fat..." - Bandy
"So? that doesn't matter when she's so damn sexy" - Me about sexy goth girl.
"I think there's drugs going round, miserable girl isn't looking miserable anymore." - Nik
"There must be drugs going around, hugging woman doesn't look like she needs a hug anymore..." - Nik
I think I'll stop there as it probably looks like we're either shallow or sad. Or both. Even if we know the actual names of these people, we don't use them to describe them. I appologise, I really do....
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Sunday, March 3rd, 2002
UP YOURS!!!!
stop your whining!!!!
hahaha, what a great song! ahem.
aaaanyway. inferno, mint, being really drunk, mint.
"mike you're really quite love starved aren't you?"
no i'm not jack!!! i just want a hug!
this song is pretty mint, tihnk it's time for some shameless punk again....UP YOURS!
i can't really remember much other than the end, with hugging and licking, so uh, i'll get back to me.
it was good though. yeah. OH! me and bandt licked this tree, which ended up having loads of woodlice on it (licking woodlice isn't that great...) and....i can't remember. i just wanted someone to hug in the end heh. so i hugged caz, lucy, her friend, joe, jack, nik and other peoples.
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Sunday, February 24th, 2002
eugh man, one of the best nights at inferno ever!
i got incredibly drunk without having any of my own money.
me and bandy kept molesting several girls animal bags. (how can i resist them when they're so fluffy and cute?)
bandy kept molesting several males too i'm sure...
me and simone got down to old skool prodge techno style!
jack pulled the scary old welsh woman! (why jack why?)
they played the art of self destruction! not many know that!
i opened my bag when i got home to find various parts of takeaway food?
oh excellent.
pffft......ohhhhhhhhh.....oh...oh...MOOSE.
you know. or maybe you don't eh?
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Sunday, February 10th, 2002
i got drunker then father jack doing a drink testing festival. ive just come back from hospital because nik got his head busted open at inferno. it was bizarre coz i was wondering around the waiting room completely fucked and i wandered elsewhere i believe til i found a toilet of some sort...
also i owe joe90 some money as he paid for our taxi to the hospital. basically i made friends with him and spoke to him for 20 minutes after the place had shut (he's a member of staff) and talked to him about caroline hah! it's an awkward situation since his best friend is her ex. anyway i'll give him the money at the gig tomorrow. yes.
i spent a lot of money on drink there since i was completely sober when i got in. joe gave me like ?7.50 worth of drink so i got completely monkeyed. eugh. strangeness. i don't know if this music is too loud or not....
it all went so quickly in the end.
*finds a biscuit, eats it, it hangs out of my mouth*
umm i think it's about time my reading band came off....it's been like 7 months now heh.
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Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
well tonight i think i really discovered how stupid my alcohol tolerance is getting. and only spent less then a fiver but got completely gone somehow...i think it was coz of our cocktail we invented dubbed 'the big gay man' and the big gay man consisted of....cider, larger/bitter, red/blue aftershock, any colour mad dog 20/20 and finally smirnoff ice...it costs like ?8 for the whole thing and we made two, they were pretty fucking gorgeous. that was on top of several other pints and cans etc....yikes.
on our way home me and bandy engaged in the first ever 'tree licking competition' and suffice to say, after many trees licked, the last one on clover ground was the best, as it had very good branches to suck on. err yes. bandys brother was there, some girls zippy back pack was there and so got licked by me and bandy several times, they played paradise lost! erm i kinda kept ?6 that jack forgot about and got food with it n stuff...ah well nevrmind hopefully he won't remember that....it was just....so fun! and my internet is fixed and beth likes our lady peace and yey! i SHALL depart for bed as my ramblings look completely inane. we even have orders to goto work hungover as the weekday supervisor doesn't like the new weekend manager...mmm. freeman was funny as hell also, yes...bed....me...
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Sunday, January 20th, 2002
inferno was good, i was drunk. we met this girl who was jacks friend. she reminded us of anna but with dreadlocks and maybe a bit more mouthy (no comment) she was quite the character and joined me in licking some persons gate. i then preceeded to lick the wet pavement, a tree and various things when i got home. i got very drunk....suprising considering that i only had a fiver budget. i guess the whole bottle of wine to myself helped that somewhat. and lots more....ugh.i remember talking in an irish accent for a lot of it and greg joining in...i think it was sposed to be an american irish accent, but how does that whork?
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Sunday, December 16th, 2001
hmmm i think perhaps it's time to stop partying for once, while my body catches up and recovers a bit. so in the end i slept today, which might be a good thing considering the drunken states ive been in. my highlights of the weekend were my conversations with ziggy about the hilarity of the toilet walls and how he manages to still be alive at 40 with his lifestyle, dancing(and being on my back) on the ledge above the dancefloor yikes!with everyone, being held up by two people, party poppers, bon jovi being played, randy being back, everyone stealing my wig and simones short but sweet insanity on the dancefloor.
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If you read this far, Nik...congratulations! Phew.