what good are plans?

[smele_mele]

I'm confused...what's the use of plans again? They seem harmless, but then if they don't work out, it can be disappointing so why make them?? On the other hand, when they work out, it can be ever so rewarding, thus meriting them. Lost again. There's really no way to know how often a plan actually works either so, you can't even weigh the pros and cons. I guess it's just a risk, the same way anything in life is. Wonderful stuff comes from risks, like happiness, and love and trust. And!! (ha! ha! I'm getting somewhere!!) they don't always work out, and actually in my experience, they often don't work out, which is what makes it a risk. Sooooo.. shit...so we've established that plans are risks in that they aren't sure to succeed and because they can often bring about much reward. But! plans can also bring about worse things if you stick to them unconditionally. Sticking to them can bring about the opposite effect than desired. Does it still fall under a risk then? Can risks bring about the opposite effect than desired? I suppose so. Like when I was with Dima and just I just kept giving and giving, even though I was scared to keep giving because it hurt when he didn't reciprocate. I kept putting myself on the line because I thought it's what was best. However, hah hah! it had the opposite effect. Therefore, plans are still like risks!

So there are risk takers and non risk takers, and there are planners and non planners. So, (yes!yes!!) I think the key is that if you're going to be a planner, you must accept that making a plan is a risk, and you cannot be sure at all whether it will follow through the way you hoped. I think in the future that if I treat plans in my head the same way I treat risks, that I won't fall as hard when things don't work out the way I thought.

Ha! I feel much better now.