is this one of those times where i have an "adult moment"?
so, it seems the topic on everyones mind is the opposite sex. everyone is trying to find a boyfriend or girlfriend, having problems with their significant other, losing their "V card", just doing it way too much, having trouble in the sack, cheating, just being a plain ol' ho bag...the list could go on.
i dont think people realize that this small thing really is a huge thing. i dont think people realize how life changing this stuff can be. i couldnt fall asleep this morning because this is all i could think about. i woke up at 7:30 this morning because this is all i can think about. is it 3 and a half hours of sleep ive had thats got this on my mind? i doubt it.
all of this stuff has changed my life drasticly. i never realized how stupid i was when i was 14. i mean, i did in a way. that was a huge factor of my depression, but now that im older and ive been when the same guy for 2 and a half years i know i was a jackass. if i kept my legs closed i could have had a normal teenage life. i would still be living at my dads house, we might have a decent relationship, i would still have my dorky step sister, my step brother would still be my best friend, i would have a car, i would have a job, i would be getting ready for COLLEGE. i would still have scott because of algebra class, and i would have stayed a virgin until we were married. after college i would get a great job. me and scott would live together, be married. and live happily ever after. but thats not reality is it? i was never aware how precious virginity could be. i never would have gotten depressed. i never would have gotten such horrible looks at school, never would have had the rumors spread about me, i never would have done drugs, i would never had even smoked a cigarette, i would have never overdosed. sex lead to so many other things. but...in some ways, it has made me a stronger person.
yes, its wonderful to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. it can be a really amazing thing to have someone there for you. but you have to be honest with this person. dont be with someone if you cant be honest. if you cant be true to this person, if you cant treat this person like a god or goddess, if you cant keep your goddamn hands to yourself, if you cant tell just your girlfriend or boyfriend how bad you "want" them or how beautiful or anything, if you just dont like someone....dont be with them. dont break someones heart because you are a dumbass and dont have the balls to just break up with someone before you treat them like dirt, especially if youve had your heart broken before.
i think people need to rethink some things. some people really are too young to be worrying or doing some of this. there are more important things in life. ive noticed that some people have missed out on alot just because they are too busy worrying about this stuff. you have years ahead of you. you cant find love. love will find you. you cant push love either. its sad but you shouldnt waste your time on someone who wouldnt even think twice about you if you were on fire. dont talk bad about other peoples relationships either. people just get hurt and sometimes you turn into a hypocrite. karma can be a bitch.
theres so much more to say about all this but im way too tired to even type. im going back to bed.