wishful
I wish I could be close like someone else is...
Right now you have with him exactly what I've always wanted with someone,
But I apparently have what he's always wanted,
It's really ironic, I would do anything to have someone that close to me. I don't know I guess I seemed like I didn't care, which seems a little unfair to me, because the subject I should have shown interest in seemed like a really sensitive subject that I shouldn't pry at, not to mention I'm not really a prying person anyway... so she just assumed I didn't care. I keep trying to ask, but it never seems to be the right time to ask about something like that. I don't know what I'm going to do about Daisy...the poor guy loves her so much... I'm just worried that he's going to continue loving her since they're so close and talk about things all the time, or...at least it'll be harder for him to let go. She definatly likes him, probably more then she says she does. Whenever she's alone around Daisy he always tries to nuzzle up closer to her, she lets him cuddle with her so it's not really surprising. I could imagine how much it must hurt the boy, to be allowed to hold her, and be so close to her, to the one you love. I can't blame him for trying to kiss her, it'd be easier if she didn't anymore so that he wouldn't be so tempted. It's just a bad situation for him... *shrug* she says she loves me, but I'm just such an untrustworthy and paranoid person due to the past... She could easily be just telling me shes pushing away and the such, but really...gah that thought is so stupid I can't even right it in a personal space where no one but me looks. I can't help thinking it, I don't WANT to, I just am such a pessimist when it comes to relationships sometimes... I realize I need to talk to her about some things but I don't know HOW without being controlling and dominant...I want her to be happy, but I'm jealous and want her happy with me...but if I had to I would let her go. But if she says she loves me and is only mine... I kinda begin to get my hopes up that she actually IS, but then again shes a lot closer with someone else, which is what a relationship NEEDS to survive, if we don't talk to each other or anything... then its just like a fling, or somethingm its just purely physical, with a couple I love you's thrown in... I wish I could be the best friend to her, but I can't have everything can I =P It's not like I can blame everything on me not asking her enough or anything, I think shes just not comfortable talking to me or I'm not a very good listener, like maybe I don't say the right things at the right time, and all the wrong things at the wrong times. It figures, I wish I had no voice for this exact reason, I just won't shut UP sometimes, a lot of the time... I wish I didn't talk, I wish I could be like a pet, who just looks at you with big puppy eyes that are cute yet understanding of everything you say. All you have to do is talk to them and pet them and they're the best counsellours you'll ever have. I think I'm going to engineer a weapon to shoot me next time I talk. Alright, I don't know how I'll ever talk to Tasche about things like this becuase I'm such a doof... I hope someday were close...
sheeeesh what do I have to complain about, I'm in love with the nicest most loving girl I've ever met, on another plus shes also the hottest girl i've ever seen XD but thats shallow and irrelevant...but she IS super pretty, I just hope I can keep her =)
Right now you have with him exactly what I've always wanted with someone,
But I apparently have what he's always wanted,
It's really ironic, I would do anything to have someone that close to me. I don't know I guess I seemed like I didn't care, which seems a little unfair to me, because the subject I should have shown interest in seemed like a really sensitive subject that I shouldn't pry at, not to mention I'm not really a prying person anyway... so she just assumed I didn't care. I keep trying to ask, but it never seems to be the right time to ask about something like that. I don't know what I'm going to do about Daisy...the poor guy loves her so much... I'm just worried that he's going to continue loving her since they're so close and talk about things all the time, or...at least it'll be harder for him to let go. She definatly likes him, probably more then she says she does. Whenever she's alone around Daisy he always tries to nuzzle up closer to her, she lets him cuddle with her so it's not really surprising. I could imagine how much it must hurt the boy, to be allowed to hold her, and be so close to her, to the one you love. I can't blame him for trying to kiss her, it'd be easier if she didn't anymore so that he wouldn't be so tempted. It's just a bad situation for him... *shrug* she says she loves me, but I'm just such an untrustworthy and paranoid person due to the past... She could easily be just telling me shes pushing away and the such, but really...gah that thought is so stupid I can't even right it in a personal space where no one but me looks. I can't help thinking it, I don't WANT to, I just am such a pessimist when it comes to relationships sometimes... I realize I need to talk to her about some things but I don't know HOW without being controlling and dominant...I want her to be happy, but I'm jealous and want her happy with me...but if I had to I would let her go. But if she says she loves me and is only mine... I kinda begin to get my hopes up that she actually IS, but then again shes a lot closer with someone else, which is what a relationship NEEDS to survive, if we don't talk to each other or anything... then its just like a fling, or somethingm its just purely physical, with a couple I love you's thrown in... I wish I could be the best friend to her, but I can't have everything can I =P It's not like I can blame everything on me not asking her enough or anything, I think shes just not comfortable talking to me or I'm not a very good listener, like maybe I don't say the right things at the right time, and all the wrong things at the wrong times. It figures, I wish I had no voice for this exact reason, I just won't shut UP sometimes, a lot of the time... I wish I didn't talk, I wish I could be like a pet, who just looks at you with big puppy eyes that are cute yet understanding of everything you say. All you have to do is talk to them and pet them and they're the best counsellours you'll ever have. I think I'm going to engineer a weapon to shoot me next time I talk. Alright, I don't know how I'll ever talk to Tasche about things like this becuase I'm such a doof... I hope someday were close...
sheeeesh what do I have to complain about, I'm in love with the nicest most loving girl I've ever met, on another plus shes also the hottest girl i've ever seen XD but thats shallow and irrelevant...but she IS super pretty, I just hope I can keep her =)