if i'm an idiot, then your a liar.

[smeecub]

this is unlike any pain ive ever felt before--
searing,wringing, hot pain; throbbing pain.
this cant be right; the swelling of emotion i feel when i
see you cant be nothing, and i know that you must feel it
too.
your eyes dont lie.
this is torture, and i know it must be for you.
we're both crying.
i'm screaming at god.
--and no ones answering because im alone.
do you feel this?
you must you must you must.
what i need is you, Rich.
your eyes your hair your little boy smile.
hold me and tell me we're gonna make it through this.
and that in the end we'll be stronger--stronger together.
i want nothing more than to feel your weight upon my arms--
to lay my head down and gaze up at you.

this doesnt go away. i saw it last week.
of the stupid mistakes i made, and trust me they are the worse....
something tells me this is just as bad.