The Girl Next Door
I just watched it for the second time. Did you guys see this movie? It didn't get nearly the credit it should have. I think that maybe it's because it was so diverse. It's not a comedy, not a chick flick, not a teen movie, not a "live crazy" American Graffiti-type exciting ride movie, or a semi-porn movie centered around a hot girl with a plot shamelessly tacked on. It can't really be classified. I can say this about it, though, it is a truly great love story. Danielle is the girlfriend that every guy has always dreamed of. Clever, capable, beautiful, calculating, perceptive. Why am I talking about all this. Anyways, the point is that she decides that Matt is too focused on the long term and doesn't know how to live for the moment. So she forces him to break out and find confidence that he never knew he had. Well Matt learns and eventually uses what he's learned to try and get her back, yata yata yata. The point is, by the end of the movie, I felt so unaccomplished. I feel like I haven't done anything at all with my life. Like when I went to Jessica's (ex-girlfriend) recital for World Music and all those kids were doing their performances before she got out on stage. There were 4 and 5 year olds playing Beethoven and Mozart. There I was, 16, and couldn't figure out which end to blow on a harmonica if I had to. I feel that again, like I should have done something with my life that I didn't. I want to do something. Now. I want to find a girl and have my own love story. I want to go and do something risky, like Paul was saying. I want to go and just do something that might ruin my life or make it infinitely better. Francesca was kinda right. I keep way too much inside and rarely display any feelings openly. I kind of like having my emotions all to myself. The reflection makes me feel very human. Does that make any sense? But I guess that right now I'm feeling some regret for that tendency in myself. I should walk into work next Wednesday and get Lindsey's number. She probably already knows I like her anyways. Who gives a fuck what anyone else says. I'm going to do it, next time I see her. I should call up that girl I'm tutoring in chemistry and ask her out. I should call her right now. No, I shouldn't, that would lose me the date for sure. Hmm. Tomorrow. I'll call her tomorrow. I'm gonna call up that Ashley chick and bitch her out for not calling me back, just to see what happens. I should call up that girl from Poli Sci that I met over the summer, what was her name... Emily? No, Erin. It was Erin. I'm going to. This is gonna be nuts. I'll just friggin call her out of the blue after a month or so of never talking to her. I'll just surprise her and see what the fuck happens. I'll tell her I couldn't stop thinking about her or feed her some other line of bull to see if she laughs. I don't know. Whatever. It doesn't matter, I've just gotta call her. God, how many missed opportunities have I witnessed in my life? I'm tired of it. I'm gonna make a stand and do something fucking crazy. I'm gonna finally make a life for myself. Fuck consequences. What's the worst that could happen, one of them never speaks to me again? Fuck, I hardly talk to 3 of these 4 girls anyways. I'm doing it. Most importatnly, I really really hope that this feeling will last until I wake up in the morning.