1+2=3
Title: 1+2=3
Chapter: 1/1
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Brittany
Summary: She shouts, "Puck!" and throws her arms around him like it's not weird that he's at Rachel's, even though no one from home knew they'd been banging all summer.
Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N: For cheapen . IDEK, bb. IDEK.
Puck knows some shit, okay? He knows the lyrics to every Springsteen song there is. He knows the stats of Cleveland's entire offensive line. He knows the quickest way to get from his work to his Upper West Side apartment. He knows that soy milk doesn't taste all that different from regular milk. He knows his girl's birthday and their date nights, and not just because she 'subtly' circles those days on the calendar for him.
He also knows that no matter what, seeing said girl whispering with another girl is hardly ever a good thing.
... ... ...
Things start with he and Rachel the summer after senior year, when he gets a (way) late acceptance to NYU that was honestly a fucking pipe dream, and she hears about it and shows up to a house where he's cleaning a pool and practically throws herself into his arms, talking a mile a minute about how they'll be together and isn't it wonderful and OMG we have to be BFF4EVER. So whatever. He pushes her into the pool and she grabs his arm at the last second, taking him with her, and he decides (admits for not the first time) that she's really not all that bad and maybe it'll be cool to have someone so fucking intense in his corner in the city he's sure he isn't cut out for.
He sleeps with her one night in the middle of July and it's pretty easy, getting her out of her clothes, and when she's naked and beneath him, she looks up at him with, no lie, the prettiest eyes he's ever seen in his damn life, smoothes her hand over his cheek and says, "you're amazing," and he's pretty sure he's fucking addicted to her or something, 'cause she's telling him this before he's even inside her, and he's never had anyone say something like that to him unless he just got them off.
He's faced with the fucking shocking reality that he actually likes her.
... ... ...
They have 'the conversation' a month after they move to New York. They've been sleeping together the whole time, and, fucked up as it is, he hasn't been with anyone else since before he even slept with her. It's cool, though, 'cause she wants it a few times a week and that's enough. Well, not really, but it's enough that he doesn't need to go out and get it from anyone else. To be honest, she's so fucking good he doesn't think anyone else could even compare.
Fucked up, but totally true. Girl can bend. Also? Her mouth is good for way more than just singing. (Even if she's good enough at that, that she could like...Whatever. She's awesome.)
He spends a lot of time at her one-bedroom apartment, because it's way better than his dorm room. Besides, it's kinda hard to give it to your girl when there's a dude sleeping 10 feet away. Of course, there was that time Rachel went down on him while Alex was there, but they were all drunk and Alex was passed out, so it's whatever. Point is, her place is way more private and, you know, not a dorm, so it's just better. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's clean and smells like her and whatever.
Anyway, they're making out on her couch one day, and it's just making out. He's exhausted from the gym and his intramural football game, and she's all cute and girlfriend-y because they lost. She's not offering herself up as consolation, but she's not dwelling on the loss, either. She's just kissing him.
"Noah."
As soon as she says it, he knows there's going to be way more of a conversation and way less of her tongue in his mouth from here on out.
"Hmm."
"We should talk."
No, he's pretty sure they should keep not talking. They're so good at the not talking.
"'Bout what?" he asks, pulling away before she pushes him. She tilts her head at him. That's the thing with her. She doesn't let him get away with playing dumb 'cause she legit doesn't think he is. It's kind of nice.
And the only thing going through his head right now is that he doesn't want to fuck this up. He knows that if she tells him she wants to be in a relationship, he'll be in a relationship. They're basically in one anyway and he doesn't want to stop any of what they've been doing, so he'll put a label on it if that's what she's down for.
"I really like the way things are between us."
Good. She's not, like, breaking up with him or something.
"Yeah."
That's like 'me too' in his language. She knows it.
"So I think it's best if we just continue to chart the course..."
He laughs. "Baby, talk normal to me," he says. She smiles and rolls her eyes. He says it often. (She sometimes busts out 'talk dirty to me' and it's fucking hot, so this is kind of their little inside joke.)
"I don't want us to be...I think we should just be what we are," she says seriously. Maybe it's that philosophy elective he's taking (which is hard as shit, by the way) but he's wondering how the fuck anyone could actually be anything but what they are. He thinks better of asking. "I mean I don't want us to change anything at all."
"So why the fuck are we having a conversation?" he asks, as if he hasn't been coming around more and calling more and generally being...more. She bites her lip and looks at him through her lashes and she totally knows. What? He isn't even sure. He just likes her a lot. "It's cool."
"So, non-exclusive," she states.
The thought of her fucking someone else makes him psychotic, but he knows she's not and he knows she's not going to. He's pretty safe there. They've talked about that, and if they're going to be with other people, they just have to tell one another either right before or right after. He's not anticipating a call any time soon, to be honest. Nor does he expect to be making one.
"Yeah," he says, leaning in to kiss her. And then, he doesn't know why he asks, but, "you're not into someone else, right?"
She actually laughs, which makes him feel awesome, then shakes her head. "No. Of course not."
So yeah, he's all good with things.
When she's sleeping next to him after not having sex (and he's okay with that, which is totally weird, but whatever) he's awake and playing with the ends of her hair and he's almost positive he's got her all figured out.
Any relationship she's ever had has ended really fucking badly. Yeah, breakups always suck, but Jesse egged her, Finn developed feelings for someone else (to his credit, he told her before he acted on them) and broke her heart. Mike cheated on her (not fucking cool and Puck doesn't talk to the guy anymore because of it), and that guy Miles she dated for a couple months at the end of senior year wouldn't commit to her and called her crazy (in the middle of the hall at school) when she called him her boyfriend in passing.
So she's protecting herself, her heart, and it's cool. He doesn't really blame her, because his track record with this kind of thing isn't exactly good. He's really only 'dated' two girls. Well, three, and she's one of them. He and Santana were fucking toxic, and that whole Quinn thing is...well, that wasn't the best situation in the world. Mercedes doesn't count because they barely tolerated each other whatsoever. He's kind of got a reputation as a heartbreaker, somehow (even if he's sure no one's ever even loved him). She knows him well enough to know he's not, but she'd probably do this non-relationship relationship with anyone she was involved with, not just him.
She can do it however she wants. He's not going anywhere.
... ... ...
He's literally biting at her hip bone (she loves it) one night when there's a knock at the door. It's late and she's naked, but he looks up at her anyway and stops what he's doing, because he doesn't even remember a time in ever when anyone but him knocked at her door.
"I don't know," she says, and she sounds a little freaked out.
He's still wearing jeans, so he gets up and pulls his shirt on and passes her a robe. "Stay here," he tells her. He's protective. They both know it. She starts to move, though, and he puts his hand on her stomach to keep her on the bed. "Rachel."
She bites her lip (mostly at his tone, he thinks) and nods. He pulls the bedroom door closed behind him as he leaves, and he's probably totally overreacting and it's, like, one of her neighbours or whatever, but he's not taking chances. This isn't Lima, where you can answer the door in your underwear and it's probably just a friend or something. Shit happens in New York all the time. He avoids the news because of it.
The absolute last person he expects to see on the other side of the door is Brittany, with her hair in braids and a bunch of bags at her feet. She shouts, "Puck!" and throws her arms around him like it's not weird that he's at Rachel's, even though no one from home knew they'd been banging all summer.
So what the hell is he supposed to do, other than pull her shit into the apartment and tell her to come inside? Rachel comes out from the bedroom and she's got her hair pulled up now and her pajamas on, and her face totally lights up. She squeals (Brittany does, too) and runs towards their friend. The girls hug while Puck lugs bags. What the fuck is Brittany carrying in these things? Rocks? Shit, he wouldn't actually be surprised by that.
He vaguely registers Rachel asking what Brittany is doing in New York and, you know, on her doorstep, and the girls sit down on the sofa, so he grabs a chair after locking the door. Is it wrong that all he's thinking right now is that he's not getting laid? He's got a one-track mind. This is no secret.
"I got a job!" Brittany announces, shrugging her shoulders. "I was dancing at this thing, and this guy came over and said he wanted me to choreograph this other thing, and I was all, 'okay!' and, like, quit school. Do you know how much money they pay choreographers? It's a lot."
"You quit school?" Rachel asks, wide-eyed. "That's insane!"
"Whatever," Brittany says, shrugging again. "I mean, I didn't really like it anyway. There's lots of books, and like, teachers are mean and stuff." Puck laughs and shakes his head. She hasn't changed in the few months since he saw her. It's refreshing, actually. "What's Puck doing here? Are you guys having sex?"
He laughs again and looks to Rachel, who's blushing like crazy. "We're...seeing one another," she explains.
Brittany leans over and whispers (not quietly), "naked?"
Rachel starts giggling and the girls start talking like total chicks, so he grabs a glass of water and tells Rachel he's going to bed. She says she'll wake him up for his class and kisses him goodnight, then he's pretty sure she stays up half the night gossiping with Brittany.
Apparently she's staying with Rachel for a while, until she can get her own place and stuff.
So much for having a private place they can have sex. It's cool, though, because he's always liked Brit and she's a sweetheart, even if she is totally cock-blocking him.
... ... ...
He takes Brittany out and shows her around the NYU campus when Rachel has class and rehearsal for the play she's in. They talk a while, about the guy Santana's seeing (it sounds pretty serious) and exactly what Brittany is planning on doing. She shrugs her shoulders and says, "dancing," and he laughs and puts his arm around her, because not only is that just such an obvious answer, but it's really the only thing he can ever actually see her doing. Part of him wishes someone had told her that earlier so she wouldn't have wasted a couple months and a bunch of money on school, but whatever.
"When did you and Rachel get together?" she asks out of nowhere after he's bought her a latté. He's a little surprised by the question, just because he figured she would have already gotten all that info from Rachel.
"Summer," he says nonchalantly. "But we're not, like, together. We're...casual or whatever."
"Rachel doesn't really do casual." She stops in her tracks and gives him the meanest look she's capable of, which somehow still makes her look like she's trying to charm a 6 year old into eating candy. AKA, totally not mean. "What did you do?"
"I didn't do anything!" he shouts. Some people look at them, but he doesn't care. "Seriously. It's her call. She's fuckin'..." He thinks better of explaining his theory on Rachel's dating past and her current stance on their relationship. "Whatever. It was her idea, and I'm just going along with it."
"Because you really like her," Brittany states. Sometimes she's smart and it freaks him the hell out. For real. She smiles when he doesn't say anything, then leans over and pecks him on the cheek. "Don't worry. I won't tell."
She flounces away saying something about wanting to see mole people or whatever (wtf?) and he laughs and shakes his head.
She'll totally tell.
... ... ...
Alex is away and Rachel finds Puck on campus and purrs some dirty shit into his ear as she plays with his belt buckle, so he pulls her back to his room and has his way with her.
"You like me," she says after, chin resting on his chest as she lays on top of him.
"I fuckin' knew she'd tell you," he says.
She giggles and pushes herself up to press her lips to his. "I already knew."
"'S'not like it was a secret or anything."
She skips her afternoon class for round two.
And three.
... ... ...
He's not used to being sexually frustrated, but he hasn't slept with Rachel in a week and he's about to fucking die.
She's sitting with Brittany on the couch (he doesn't even get to sit beside her!) and snacking on fuckin' rice crisps or something while they watch Dancing With The Stars and he at least tries to pretend he doesn't wanna stab his eyes out. It doesn't help that Rachel's wearing those tight yoga pants she likes and one of his sweatshirts.
And he's supposed to be able to control himself?
She gives him this look across the room that's totally pathetic. She has this little crease between her brows and she's chewing on her bottom lip.
Yup. Girl's just as horny as he is.
"If you guys wanna have sex, it's okay," Brittany says randomly, setting her water on the table. They both look at her and she smiles, pulls her legs up onto the couch and crosses them. "I won't listen."
Puck laughs and Rachel blushes, and he's seriously about to yank her into the bedroom, but he knows her well enough to know that she'll want to pretend she's not as desperate to have sex with him as she is. So they wait until the show's over before they head to her room, and she spends the entire time trying to be quiet. He spends it trying to make her so loud shit gets awkward.
He'd say he wins, 'cause she's totally loud, but things aren't at all awkward in the morning because Brittany's always been pretty nonchalant about sex and it's not like it's a secret he and Rachel are sleeping together.
... ... ...
Awkward comes when he's sitting on his bed studying and Rachel stops by unannounced. Alex is in class, so it's just the two of them, and that'd be awesome if Rachel didn't look like she was about to burst into tears. Fuck the test he has tomorrow, she's more important.
"What?" he asks as she sits down on the bed. She won't look at him. He gets a sick feeling in his stomach. "Baby, what?"
"Don't be mad," she warns him.
Never, ever a good sign.
"What did you do?" he asks. Yeah, it's an accusation, but fuck, he knows this conversation. He's had this conversation.
She sniffles and makes eye contact, and it's fucked that his first instinct is to touch her and make her feel better. "I kissed Brittany."
Okay, so that's unexpected. He doesn't know what to make of it, really. On one hand, she shouldn't be kissing anyone but him ('non-exclusive' relationship be damned; he's not kissing other people), but on the other hand, she kissed a girl, and he's basically all for that. You know, as long as she's not gonna dump him for Brittany or something crazy like that. He knows for a fact that Rachel loves cock, though, so he's probably okay there. Real talk.
"Oh."
"Are you mad? I know I broke the rule, and I'm so sorry, and..."
He's fine with her talking here, but he thinks she should probably be telling him how the hell she ended up kissing Brittany. Did she get super turned on and just want to? Was it kind of an accident? Were they drinking and one thing led to another?
More importantly, does she want to do it again? (Preferably with him as witness.)
"The only rule you broke was not calling me first so I could come watch," he tells her. She rolls her eyes and a tear slips out. Shit, she's actually really upset. "Rach, it's okay."
"I just...I know how it feels to have someone cheat."
"You didn't cheat. We're not exclusive." She gives him a fucking shitty look, like they really are exclusive (they are, basically) and he's a moron for actually believing otherwise. "Just, like, don't do it again." She nods and he grabs her hand. "Unless I'm there," he adds quickly, 'cause that's important. She at least laughs at him.
He makes her tell him how all this happened, because he's curious (and hard) and it's important. Seriously, if she wants to be with Brittany, that's totally different from just kissing her.
Turns out they were celebrating Brittany's first day on the set of the dance show she's choreographing and drank a bottle of champagne between the two of them. They were talking about relationships and kissing and Brittany's history with girls, and she asked if Rachel had ever kissed a girl before, then gave a laundry list of reasons why sometimes it was better than kissing boys. Rachel wanted to know if it was true, so they kissed.
Sexy as hell, and he ends up blowing off studying for the rest of the night so he can have sex with her, take her out to dinner, then get her naked at her place again.
All in all, not a bad day.
Except he's still kind of wondering if it'll be as easy for her to kiss someone else as it was for her to kiss Brittany.
... ... ...
He's naked in Rachel's bed, with her laying on her stomach and him playing with her hair. She's just got the sheets up under her arms and resting just below her shoulder blades. She looks so fucking hot in the mornings, legit. She doesn't even need makeup to be gorgeous. It scares the fuck out of him that he even thinks these things. He never says them, though.
Brittany comes in, though, and interrupts a conversation they were having about who has to get up to make coffee today. (He did it yesterday. Totally not his turn. Brittany burrows beneath the covers between the two of them and she either hasn't noticed that they're naked or she just doesn't care, because she pulls the covers up to her chin.
"Uh. Brit," he says, because fuck, he was actually enjoying...
Whatever.
"It's cold and I saw a spider."
"We're kinda in the middle of something," he says, and Rachel shoots him a glare, which he doesn't really get because she should be all weirded out by being naked and stuff, and she's like, totally okay with it right now.
"It's fine, Brit. He's just grumpy in the mornings," Rachel interrupts.
"I get annoyed when my shit gets interrupted."
"Don't talk to her like that," Brittany says defensively. "Just be nice to one another."
Jesus. Being 'mean' in front of Brittany is like kicking a puppy or something. You just don't do it, and if for some reason you accidentally do, you feel so fucking terrible about it after that you kinda wanna die. So despite the fact that he's totally naked, he wraps his arm around her middle and kisses her cheek. He keeps his eye on Rachel, though, because he doesn't want her to think there's anything weird going on here. She just smiles at him and does the exact same thing he just did.
"See? Nice feels so much better," Brittany murmurs, eyes closed. "I think that spider has friends. Puck should stay here forever to be our spider killer, Rach."
Rachel laughs a little and looks at him from across the bed. Her fingertips rub at his ribs just a little bit. "That's not a bad idea," she admits.
He really shouldn't feel so good right now.
... ... ...
The first week of December, there's a massive snow storm and school is closed for two days. The three of them spend it in the apartment, watching Brittany's Friends DVDs and drinking hot chocolate and wine and eating homemade vegan food Rachel is really awesome at cooking. Brittany dances around the apartment to the radio and Rachel laughs and joins, and Puck sits and watches the two girls. All he keeps thinking is that it's so awesome that she has a friend now. She never really did before. Actually, Brittany was the closest thing she ever really had to one, and that's because Brittany couldn't even really comprehend why anyone was being mean to Rachel at all.
He sits between the two of them on the sofa, Rachel's head on his shoulder holding his hand, and his arm around Brittany. They watch as Monica and Chandler prepare to buy a house, complete with a room for Joey, and Rachel starts giggling. He squeezes her hand a little bit because he knows exactly what she's thinking.
"Yeah, that's totally gonna be us," he says. She laughs a little harder and kisses him.
"What? You're buying a house?" Brittany asks. He's used to the cute little look on her face when she's confused. He just looks at Rachel so she can explain, because she always does it so patiently. "Oh," Brittany says. "I'd totally live with you guys forever." Puck throws a look to Rachel, but he's distracted before he can tell her he needs to be alone with her. "It's awesome being around in love people."
Rachel looks at the television and Puck barely registers anything at all.
Who the hell said anything about love?
... ... ...
They don't talk to one another for three days. He's pretty sure she's more freaked out than he is, because as he was falling asleep next to her (not touching her because she slid to the other side of the bed away from him, and that sucked hard) he realized that yeah, he's stuck around and been totally faithful to her and he's totally in love with her. He thinks that's what it means when the thought of not being with her makes him kinda feel, like, this thing in his throat or whatever. If that's not love, he honestly doesn't have a fucking clue what is.
Rachel's the one ignoring his calls. He'd just show up at her place but she'd probably find some excuse for him not to stay over, or she'd be 'busy' or something. He doesn't like getting the brushoff. At all.
So when there's a knock at his door one evening, he looks to Alex, 'cause he's not expecting anyone and it's gotta be for his roommate.
"Not it," Alex says, shrugging his shoulder before going back to his school work.
Puck groans, throws his empty Coke can at Alex's head (and hits the target) and gets up to answer the door. He's pretty shocked when Brittany pushes past him looking totally pissed off. It'd be more convincing if she wasn't legit sucking on a lollipop.
Alex is staring. He's never met Brittany before. It just reminds Puck how much time he really spends at Rachel's place. And yeah, Brittany's hot, even when she's wearing her winter coat, scarf, hat and her hair is a total disaster.
"Are you and Rachel breaking up?" she asks abruptly, sitting down on Alex's bed. She's basically right in front of where he's laying and he's looking at Puck as if to ask who the hot girl is that's suddenly come into his life.
"No. Maybe. Fuck."
"Why?"
Puck sighs and runs his hand over his head, sits down at the edge of his bed. Brittany turns her head and smiles at Alex, like she's just realizing he's there. "I dunno."
"Puck."
"Dammit, Brit!" he groans. "I've been fucking her since July and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend. It's not my fault."
"She's just scared," Brittany says, lollipop in her mouth as she peels off her coat and sets it at the end of Alex's bed. He's checking her out now and giving Puck shitty looks, like she's the holy grail of pussy and Puck's a dick for not introducing them sooner. "Everyone hurts her."
"I don't," Puck argues, because that's the truth and it has been for a few years now.
"She just...You should, like, tell her you're not going to cheat on her or something." He gives her a look. "What? Everyone else does it to her!"
"She did it to me," he says, even if it's totally not true and totally not relevant. She stares at him. "Kissed you."
Alex's hope for studying is apparently completely gone, because he's just sitting there listening to this conversation and mostly watching Brittany.
"That's dumb. It doesn't count."
"Whatever," he mumbles, rolling his eyes. "I'm basically 90 per cent in love with her and she doesn't give a shit."
"Yes she does!" Brittany shouts. She looks like she might start crying. Fuck, if he makes her cry he's going to hate himself. "Don't break up."
"I don't want to," he admits. "Seriously, it's like, the last thing I want."
"Tell her that," Brittany says. She lays down on Alex's bed, right in front of him on her side with her hands tucked up under her cheek. Puck just grins a little, because she's about the least shy girl he knows, and Alex has a thing for blondes. "She needs you to make promises and be all cute with her and stuff. She wants that."
"She tell you that?" he asks.
She bites her lip and tries not to smile. "No," she says quietly. "She told me something else."
Shit. She totally told Brittany she's in love with him. Amazing. He has total love for Brittany right now. He's been kind of annoyed that she's been living on Rachel's couch for like, two months, but this is...It's awesome having her around right now, or he and Rachel probably would have done something stupid like walk away from each other with all this shit unsaid.
He leans over and kisses her cheek before grabbing his coat.
He looks back before he walks out the door and Brittany's now on her side facing Alex. "You're cute," she says. Puck laughs at the little grin on Alex's lips.
... ... ...
He basically tells Rachel to get over her shit and be with him, and she apologizes for being so weird about everything, and he just kisses her and says, "tell me what you told Brit," and she laughs and grabs onto the front of his shirt.
Hearing her say the words is fucking awesome. He feels like an idiot saying them back, even if they're true.
"Who knew Brittany would mastermind our makeup?" she asks laughingly as they stand in the kitchen. She's in just his shirt and he's in just his boxers. He honestly couldn't tell you where the rest of their clothes are; around here somewhere, probably. "She's a good friend."
"Hmm. Best," he murmurs against her temple. "Think she's probably gonna be at my place all night."
Rachel turns in his arms and smiles up at him. They make it to the bedroom this time.
... ... ...
He wakes up with Brittany pressed against his back and Rachel pressed against his front. It's messed up, but it's almost the best thing he's felt in forever.
"Told you," Brittany whispers when she realizes he's awake.
He laughs quietly and makes sure Rachel's still asleep. "Thanks."
"Alex is nice," she says. He looks at her over his shoulder. "I think I'm dating him now."
He'd make fun of her, but Rachel is totally fucking cute when she's sleeping and he doesn't want to wake her. She must be tired out from last night, too.
... ... ...
At the end of the year when he moves out of his dorm, the three of them move in together. It's a two bedroom apartment they split the rent on, and Rachel does a really awesome job of taking care of both he and Brittany.
They all get drunk when Brittany gets the call that she's going to choreograph a Drake video. It comes up that Rachel and Puck have kissed, and Brittany and Rachel have kissed, but Puck hasn't kissed Brittany. He looks at them both like they're crazy, because this feels like one of those girly traps that don't look like traps until there's jagged metal around your ankle and a pissed off hunter looking down at you and you're staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. Or something. What the fuck is in these margaritas?
He just shakes his head and pulls Rachel into his lap and sucks at that place on her neck that makes her moan no matter where they are, who they're with or what they're doing.
"Nuh uhn," he says against her skin. "Not doing it."
"It's okay if you want to," Rachel says, even if her hand is holding onto the collar of his shirt like she's never letting go.
"Don't," he says, shrugging his shoulder. He casts a glance to Brittany, who's smiling. "No offense."
"Oh my god, you guys are cuter than kittens," she says, clapping her hands together excitedly.
He'd argue it, but Rachel presses her forehead to his temple and nibbles his earlobe before she says something absolutely filthy, and he totally forgets.
The other awesome thing about their new place is they've got a lock on the bedroom door. No more morning interruptions.
Sometimes they leave the door unlocked, because Brittany likes to cuddle and it's kind of fun sometimes to let her.