it's enough to make me run away with you (1/2)
Title: it's enough to make me run away with you
Chapter: 1/2
Warning: You know the drill. Puck's a potty mouth who thinks about sex constantly.
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Rachel/Will
Summary: Puck sees what's going on during the last half of their senior year, and he doesn't like it. Not only is it weird and just a little gross, but Rachel could do better. He wonders if she calls Schue 'Will' when they're alone.
Word Count: 17,000 (total)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N: Thank you again to cheapen who gave me this prompt and let me run away with it! She's got wicked awesome ideas! AND thank you to becca_radcgg for reading this for me and telling me it wasn't garbage ;)
She tried this shit once before, and if she thinks he didn't notice it then, too, she's fucking looney.
Loonier.
What the fuck ever.
Basically, Puck sees what's going on during the last half of their senior year, and he doesn't fucking like it.
Not only is it weird and just a little gross, maybe, but Rachel could do better than Mr. Schue.
He wonders if she calls him Will when they're alone.
----
It happens like this:
Sophomore year, Puck and Rachel date for eight days, spend most of their time making out and trying to learn how to tolerate one another. (The making out is awesome. The tolerating, they never quite perfect.)
Sophomore year, Rachel rebounds from Puck by going a little swimfan on Mr. Schue. (Maybe it's not a rebound, but Puck's going to believe it is. The timing fits.)
Junior year, Puck comes back to school single and hits on just about everyone he can. (He was in a relationship for way to fucking long. He and Quinn breaking up just happened to line up perfectly with the beginning of the school year.)
And yes, this includes Rachel. She's single, and they make out at a party once, but she tells him not to tell anyone, and he says, "Trust me, I won't." And then she gets all offended and walks away. So there's that.
Also junior year, Mr. Schue and Miss P. get it together for good, apparently. Whatever. Puck doesn't care. Rachel and Finn start dating after Sectionals. Quinn and Matt hook up, which Puck thinks is pretty fucked, but doesn't really have an opinion about. Artie and Tina break up, and yeah, he and Tina kind of fuck around for a couple weeks behind everyone's backs, but they end that shit mutually. Tina's cool and doesn't even care that he acts like he barely knows her. And yeah, he thinks of hooking up with Mercedes, just so he can say he at least made out with all the chicks in glee club, but when he suggests it, she looks at him like he's a piece of shit (he might be) and tells him he's out of his damn mind (also a possibility).
Senior year, Puck is actually like, dating Santana, which is pretty fucked up, since he knows she fucks around with Brittany on the side. What kind of idiot would complain about that? And he convinces them to let him watch. Then he convinces them to let him join, which is fucking awesome. She dumps him for pretty much no reason, so he fucks Brittany behind her back and that just pisses her off even more. Whatever.
Mr. Schue and Miss P. break up, and she moves to Toledo or something like that. Mr. Schue goes through this period where he forces the glee club to sing songs like Said I Loved You, But I Lied and Tracks of My Tears and, kind of awesomely, All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye. (They'll take that one to Sectionals and bring the house down.)
And then Finn and Rachel break up and it's this whole big drama and Puck tries to ignore it because sometimes Rachel looks so fucking sad that it makes him feel like shit, and for once he has nothing to do with it.
She sings her ass off at Sectionals, which is a total cakewalk, and he hugs her when she smiles at him. You know, teamwork and whatever.
They make out again at some Jewish gathering over Christmas break. Yeah, that sounds fucked up, but he's not about to petition to Figgins or anything like Rachel's blathering on about. Actually, that's why he pulls her into the coat room of the JCC. She's talking too goddamn much, and since he's the only person at this stupid party she even knows, he's been the one she's talking to. He figures kissing her always shut her up pretty good.
Then get this. She says, "Noah, I don't care about you."
He laughs a little. "'S'fine."
She pulls away from him, lets go of his tie and looks into his eyes. "Do you care about anything?"
And very seriously; "Pussy."
She totally thinks that he doesn't see her smile, but he totally does.
He still can't really get her to do anything but just make out though, so that kind of sucks. Again, neither of them want anyone to know, so he watches as she smoothes her hands over her hair and walks from the room without another glance.
Sometime after the holidays, Schue asks Rachel to stay after practice, and she's a little too eager to do it. Puck isn't an idiot. And he doesn't like the look on her face. (He's seen it before, directed at him.)
That's pretty much where we're at now.
----
She knows it's irresponsible.
No, that's not the right word. It's not irresponsible, it's just...ridiculous.
The thing is, it starts out innocently. He catches her crying a couple weeks after she and Finn have broken up, and she shouldn't be upset about it anymore. But she thinks that if anyone understands what she's going through, it's Mr. Schue. He's going through the same thing. The only difference is that he doesn't have to see his ex every day. She has to sing with Finn, pretend it doesn't hurt her to see him flirting with Santana or whoever else. He hugs her and she lets her arms come to settle on his back.
He helps her with their songs for Sectionals. He gives her a solo with just choral backing because she deserves it and she's the best, and he actually admits that to her for the first time. She wonders if maybe it's just because she's a senior now or something. He tells her that she'll really be something someday if she can keep her ego in check.
For whatever reason, him saying those words makes her feel amazing, even if it is a bit of a backhanded compliment.
He hugs her tight after Sectionals, tells her he's proud of her, and she looks away first. She pulls away from him and hugs Noah, because something about the way Mr. Schue was looking at her made her feel something. Something familiar and not at all bad, and she can still remember that awful phase she went through two years ago.
She kisses Noah over the holiday break because even if the two of them barely speak, he's still an adept kisser, and he's available. (And he's not a teacher or 15 years her senior.)
When school starts again, Mr. Schue takes her advice and starts thinking of Regionals immediately. They've been beaten two years in a row, and she won't let it happen again this year, her senior year. So they meet in his office after school one day and talk about song selections and choreography.
It's different, this meeting. They're laughing together and he listens to her speaking instead of dismissing her suggestions or insisting he has to take it to a vote. (Not all of her ideas get used, but she doesn't hold it against him.)
He gives her a ride home one day after practice when her dads call a little too late to say they can't pick her up. Everyone else has left. Their hands brush when he takes her bag from her to carry it. He smiles. She gets butterflies.
This is all very strange. She refuses to let herself get caught up in this.
But then they're in his office and she's giving him her notes about their ballad for Regionals, and the door is closed, and the blinds are drawn, and she catches him looking at her lips. That's never happened before.
So she kisses him. He doesn't kiss her back. She pulls away immediately and puts distance between them, and she starts talking about how she's sorry, how it was wrong of her to do that and she understands if he can't be alone with her any more. Her eyes are closed, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
"Rachel," he says calmly. She looks at him, pleading with him not to make this worse. "It's okay."
"It's not."
"Well, no," he says, and they both laugh a little. "But if I wasn't...and if you weren't a student..."
"Don't say that." She's shaking her head. This can't be happening. How is this happening? She annoys him! He tolerates her because he's a teacher and he has to! He's not supposed to like her. "I have to go."
"You should," he says, standing in front of her and passing her music back to her.
He kisses her before she can open the door. (She leaves right after anyway, but the damage is done.)
Everything changes from there.
----
Puck doesn't know what it is about Rachel, but he always has this urge to (shut up) protect her or something. It's fucked. It happened when Jesse fucked her over. (He punched the dude in the face so hard, Jesse fell on his ass.) It happened when Finn broke up with her. (Finn's his boy, so he just got a stern talking to. Whatever.) And then there's the sticking up for her sometimes when people are treating her like shit, which they still do sometimes.
Sometimes he thinks she's just this silly, naive girl who can't take care of herself. If he's going to be really honest. Seriously. Mr. Schue?
He catches up to her one day between the end of class and the start of glee. She's walking down the hall, her skirt bouncing against her thighs. They're the only two people in the hall, so she runs to catch up to her. When he touches her elbow, she turns around, then her face falls.
"Expecting someone else?" he asks, his brow raised.
"I wasn't expecting anyone. Can I help you?"
He'd believe her if she was looking him in the eye. "If seen you, you know."
"Well, congratulations, Noah," she says, rolling her eyes.
"Sarcasm? Really?"
"Maybe if I had any clue what you're talking about, I'd give you an answer closer to the one you're looking for. Until you clue me in, however..."
"You and..." His voice is a little louder than he intended it to be. "You and Schue."
"You're being ridiculous."
"Come on, Rachel," he says, shaking his head. "You forget that I'm like, the king of picking up what girls are putting down. I'm not fucking blind."
"We've established that," she says dryly. "Mr. Schuester and I are merely attempting to win Regionals. It's taking extra work, extra dialogue. Unlike you, I actually care to take the time to meet with him."
He smirks at her. He wonders where she learned to bullshit like that. "Well, I care about glee. Maybe I'll come to your meetings," he says.
She looks pissed. Or disappointed.
"Fine," she says stoically. "Today after rehearsal."
"It's Friday."
"You wanted to talk, so you can talk. I can't wait to hear your ideas."
She turns and walks away. He thinks he's just been played.
(He's too proud to blow off the meeting, so he sits there and listens while she and Schue talk. But his suspicion is only confirmed. He can read her better than she thinks.)
----
Every time Noah looks at her now, she wonders if he can see what she's trying so hard to hide from everyone else. Not that there's really all that much to hide.
Just reciprocal feelings between herself and a teacher that they're both trying very, very hard not to act on.
Sometimes she wonders if it's all in her head. But it's not. Mr. Schuester smiles at her, winks sometimes when no one else is looking. The other day they were addressing the group together, and his hand lingered on her back longer than it had to.
They haven't kissed again. She hasn't let that happen. Or maybe he hasn't. Either way, it hasn't happened.
She desperately wants it to.
But then everywhere she looks, there's Noah, watching her. She's walking and talking with Mr. Schuester once and Noah doesn't take his eyes off her. Not them, just her. It's like he's trying to warn her or something.
She doesn't know why he cares so much.
----
"Mr. Schuester, I really think..."
"Rachel," he laughs. "You can call me Will."
She blushes a little bit. They're in his office, sitting next to one another in the chairs across from his desk. She's got choreography storyboarded on thick poster board between them. He's holding one side, she, the other. His arm brushes hers and she honestly doesn't know what she's doing.
"Will. That sounds very...I don't know."
He smiles and turns toward her a little more. "You don't have to call me Will."
"No, I want to," she insists. "I suppose I'm still just trying to figure out which lines to cross and which to stay far, far away from."
There's a gleam in his eye. She gets the impression that he'd say something wholly inappropriate if the situation were any different. She wishes it was.
"Well, we shouldn't be crossing any of them," he reminds her. She smiles and nods her head. "But..."
She bites her bottom lip. His hand finds her knee beneath the poster board. "But..."
He meets her in the middle, kisses her, and the fireworks go off in her stomach.
"This is so..." she starts. He brushes his lips against hers to silence her. Boys are always doing that.
(Men? She's so confused.)
"Good?"
"Yes," she laughs. "But I was going to say wrong."
"That too," he says quietly. "You should..."
"Yes. I have history homework." He looks amused. She thinks maybe reminding him that she's a student is the wrong thing to do. "I should try not to say things like that."
"It's fine," he says. He stands first, putting the poster board against the wall. He's promised her he'll study it later. "Go home, Rachel."
"I'll see you tomorrow," she says. She gives his hand a squeeze before she steps out into the hall.
Noah is walking in her direction as she heads for the door. She smiles, hitches her bag over her shoulder, but doesn't acknowledge him any more than that.
"What are you still doing here?" he asks, stepping right in front of her.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"Forgot my chem book in my locker," he says. "You have a date or something?" She rolls her eyes, then gives him her best glare. "I mean, where else would you two go?"
"Noah," she hisses. "Please. You seem to have it in your head that..."
"You see anyone else around here coming out of his office with pink cheeks and big fuckin' smiles? I don't. Just you, Rach," he says seriously. "Come on. I know you're all broken up over Finn, but..."
"This has nothing to do with Finn!" she cries. He gets this big stupid smirk on his face and she realizes she's just basically admitted to what he's been accusing her of. "Have you considered that maybe I used you to get over Finn?"
He scoffs. "I don't think so, babe. People don't use me. I use them."
"Clearly," she mumbles.
He looks at her for a second. He honestly wonders what she thinks of him. He shouldn't care. He doesn't owe her anything. She doesn't owe him anything. But he doesn't want this thing with her and Schue going on.
"What are you doing, Rachel?" he asks quietly.
He actually sounds concerned. "Noah, please. Even if there was something going on, which there's not, you are certainly the last person I would be talking to about it."
He thinks about it for a second. He's almost proud of her for lying. Almost. Then there's the fact that he doesn't believe her at all. Not one bit. He could have sworn Mr. Schue had his hand on the small of her back for a good 10 seconds the other day. And Puck knows what Rachel looks like post-kiss. He's seen it enough.
This, right here? She's post-kiss.
He doesn't like it. At all.
"You can if you want," he says, for whatever reason. "You know I'm discreet and shit."
She scoffs and rolls her eyes again. "I'll keep that in mind."
She breezes past him. He watches the sway of her hips as she goes. Nothing new. He does this a lot.
----
She gets home and realizes that nothing she says is going to convince Noah that there's nothing going on.
And it would be nice to have someone, anyone, to talk to about this.
----
Meet me somewhere?
He smiles when he gets the text. Either she finally wants to come clean, or she's asking him to make out.
Either way...
Sure. Where?
Ice rink.
What the fuck? Why the hell would she want to go to the ice rink? He doesn't get that. Not to mention, it's fucking cold outside already. Shouldn't she suggest somewhere warm? Like, say, her bedroom? He's pretty sure he could screw this Schue obsession right out of her. And he could seduce her, too. They've already dated and made out and, shit, that one time she totally stroked him through his jeans at that party before he said the wrong thing and she got pissed and left. At least she'd left him close. And she looks hot when she's mad.
Anyway. Where were we? Right. Heat. The ice rink is just about the last place he'd choose to meet. But whatever. It gets him out of his house with his crazy mom and annoying sister, and maybe Rachel will finally admit the thing he already knows.
He sees her sitting in the stands, bundled up in her scarf and jacket when he gets there, so he springs for hot chocolate before he goes inside to meet her. She looks at him like he's crazy when he hands her the cup.
"It's just hot chocolate. I didn't spike it with anything," he tells her as he sits down. "'S'fuckin' cold in here."
"I like it," she says, cradling the styrofoam cup in both hands. "I always wanted to be a figure skater."
He looks out on the ice surface, where there are pairs of people skating around. "Yeah?" he asks, because he figures that if she's going to talk to him, he can, you know, at least sound interested.
"Ice dance. Like this," she says, pointing to the couple at the middle of the ice. "I could, too. I'm an excellent dancer."
He smirks at her. "You're alright."
"I'm excellent," she says, glaring at him. He gives her a half-grin. "I'm an excellent dancer, but a terrible skater."
"You mean you're bad at something?" he teases. She blows the steam off her hot chocolate. "Alright. Fuck. Spill. I know you didn't bring me here to talk about fucking figure skating."
She takes a deep breath and looks down at her lap. She doesn't know why she's doing this. She really shouldn't trust him. But then again, he's never told anyone about those times they've made out and she's done incredibly...almost sexual things with him. (She remembers how he felt, hard through his jeans when she ran her hand over him.)
Oh, god. She's blushing.
"It's nothing. Honestly," she tells him. He's not convinced in the slightest. "It's...It's silly, really."
"How silly? Like, you have feelings and he doesn't and he's smart enough to ignore it? Or like, you let him nail you over the desk in his office?"
"Noah!" she hisses, looking around them. There's no one within earshot. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this."
"Because I'm the only one who isn't too much of an idiot to see what's going on," he says seriously. "Rachel, you know how fucked this is, right? Like...you know that."
"I know," she whispers. "I know that."
"He's a teacher. I mean...What do you think is gonna happen?"
"I don't know," she admits quietly. "I don't. But...but he feels...he has feelings for me, too, and I'm only in school for another four months, and then..."
"And then what?" he asks with a laugh. "Then you go to New York? L.A.? Chicago? He stays here and you two fuckin' hook up on holidays? Come on, Rachel."
"I don't know." He sighs, shakes his head, and she turns to him. "I don't know. It's just nice to not date a boy."
He lets out a bitter laugh. "Date? You're calling meeting a couple times a week in his office dating."
"You know, I can't understand why you're so interested in my love life all of a sudden. You didn't care when I dated Finn, and he's your best friend. In fact, you barely spoke to me at all. So why now? Why do you care now, all of a sudden?"
He takes a deep breath and sets his hot chocolate down on the floor between his feet. "You're gonna get fucked over."
"Yes, well, again. That happened with Finn, too. You didn't stop that."
"Finn isn't your fucking teacher! He's not 35 and divorced. You forgetting that he almost had a kid?"
"He didn't."
"He thought he was having one. He wanted one. Probably still does. Shit, Rach. Are you gonna give up your..."
"I don't know!" she cries. Her voice echoes through the ice rink, even over the music. "I don't know. I just...I have feelings for him."
"You're fucking nuts," he says, shaking his head. "You are. You know this is gonna be a shitfest."
"Noah, I know you aren't a master of understanding your feelings, but when you actually have them for someone, you just want...you want it to work. It doesn't even matter how. You just want it to work."
He picks up his cup again, stands, and takes a couple steps down on the bleachers. When he turns back to her, she's watching him. "You really think it's going to work?"
"I want it to."
"That's not what I asked," he tells her. Her eyes meet his and she shrugs helplessly. "And for the record? I'm not a boy." Her brow furrows. "I don't treat women like other guys my age do."
He walks away, then, and she's left just sitting there, listening to the music in the rink and the blades cutting into the ice.
She doesn't think anyone's ever really called her a woman before.
And why is he making it sound like he wants to be with her or something?
----
He decides he's going to have to take matters into his own hands. There's no way Rachel's going to end this. Mr. Schuester will, if someone can knock some sense into him. It's like Sylvester is always saying; maybe all that product really is seeping into his brain. Puck thinks that if he can get the dude to realize that, hey, Rachel's 18 and a student and therefore off limits, asshole, then maybe things will go back to normal.
So he starts running some interference.
First, he shows up to practice early. Every day. Rachel is pissed. It's cute. Then, one day after practice, he asks Mr. Schue for some advice, asks if he can meet in the dude's office. The look on Rachel's face? Puck wishes he had a camera. He thinks he might be interrupting a 'date' or something.
This is gonna be awesome.
"So what's up, Puck?" Schue asks as he sits down at his desk.
"I just...Okay. I've got this situation. There's a girl," Puck says. He's such a fucking awesome liar. "But it's just that she's younger."
Schue chokes on his water. "Oh. Well. How much younger?"
Puck laughs. "Well, not like 15 years or anything. I mean, fuck. Who does that?" he asks. Mr. Schue just nods. Puck thinks this is amazing. "I like her, you know? And she's smokin' hot. It's just that I'm leaving for school soon, and then what? I mean, I'm not a long-term relationship guy, really. And long distance? I'll suck at that."
"I'm not understanding what you're asking me here, Puck," Mr. Schue says, leaning forward a little.
"It's just that...If the relationship won't be going anywhere, should I even bother starting it?"
Puck can see the wheels turning. Mr. Schuester is seriously thinking about all this.
"Well, I think that ultimately, it's the experience you go after. Not every girl you date has to be the one," Schue explains seriously.
Puck thinks this is bullshit. Not because he doesn't agree, but because dude is totally trying to justify his own actions, which is pretty fucked up.
"Would you do it?" Puck asks. "I mean, if you knew there was no future there. Would you just go for it anyway?"
"Oh. Well, I..."
"I'd ask a guidance counselor, but, you know...we don't have one of those right now."
(Yeah, he figures throwing that whole thing out there can't hurt.)
"Well, look, Puck, I think you just have to really think about what you want. Follow your heart. You'll know if she's worth it."
Puck is getting the impression that this dude like, actually has feelings for Rachel. It's not all in her head. (He was kind of hoping it was.) Mr. Schue is actually getting involved with a student.
Holy shit.
"And if it's worth it...I mean, you'd go for it?" Puck asks. He feels weird now, like he's way too involved in this fucked up situation when it has nothing to do with him. He wishes he could go back to not caring. Those were the good old days.
"I would," Schue says confidently. "You never know unless you try, right?"
Just when Puck thinks this whole meeting is totally fucked and only pushing Schue closer to Rachel, something amazing happens. It's like stars aligning or something.
Rachel plays right into his hands.
His phone rings in his pocket and he reaches for it, seeing her name on the screen. Mr. Schue motions for him to take it.
"Hey, Rach," Puck says casually. He winks at Mr. Schue when the guy looks at him with a furrowed brow. Rachel is absolutely laying into him, asking what in the world he's doing and yadda yadda yadda. "No, sure, I can meet you...Chinese? I love Chinese...I'll pick you up in a half hour."
He hangs up and Mr. Schuester is pretending to grade papers or some shit, and Puck stands.
"You two are...I didn't know you two were close," Schue says.
Puck shrugs and slings his back pack over his shoulder. "She's cool, you know? I mean, when she's not being crazy."
And then this happens:
Schuester gets this little smile on his face, a sparkle in his eye or whatever, and says, "Yes, she is."
Puck leaves before he does something crazy like call the dude out on this shit.
----
Puck decides that he really is going to take her to dinner. Or at least try, because he's pretty sure there's no way she's going to leave the house and go anywhere with him.
But he drives around for a good 20 minutes first, thinking about what Mr. Schue said about not knowing until you try. And Puck thinks that of all the people he knows, he and Rachel have the most in common. And that sounds pretty fucked up, actually. But they're both stubborn, and they both want to get the fuck out of this town. They both want to win at everything they do (Puck's a little less scary about it, but whatever). He likes her, he thinks. She's seriously nice, and she's funny when she's not freaking everyone the hell out with her tirades and five dollar words. The other night at the ice rink when they were just talking, he didn't want to jab a pen in his ears or anything. And he thinks he likes learning shit about her, like when she told him she wanted to be a skater or whatever.
So when he shows up at her house, he realizes that he fucking likes her. He realizes that's the reason he's so pissed (and he is pissed) about this Schuester thing. It wouldn't matter who she dated, he'd still hate the douche. He's trying really hard not to look back to sophomore year and figure out if that's always been true. (He hated Jesse, and he always felt weird around she and Finn.)
So fuck. He like, actually likes her.
She answers the door and immediately glares at him.
"What are you doing here?" she asks.
"Didn't you hear? I told you I was coming."
"And I called you a manipulative delinquent with no morals!"
He smirks and pushes past her into the house. He regrets it for a second, because he's pretty sure that her dads don't like him, but whatever. He doesn't see them around. That's a bonus. His mind immediately goes to a different place. Like, a bed, nakedness, her moaning his name...
"What do you want?" she asks, closing the door behind her.
He could answer honestly, but she'd probably slap him. As hot as that could be, he's not going to push his luck.
"Can't a guy just wanna hang out? Shit." He sits down on the sofa and props his feet up on the table, grabbing the remote for the television. "I think there's a Cavs game on."
"Noah!" she shouts. She walks over and stands directly in front of the television. "What did you say to him?"
"Nothing," Puck says, smirking as he shrugs his shoulder. "Just asked for some advice. See, there's this younger girl and it could never work. Wanted his opinion." The way she's staring at him, he doesn't know if she's going to kill him or burst into tears. "For the record, he said to go for it. Follow my heart or some shit."
She cracks a little smile. "Well, now do you believe me that it's not so crazy?"
"Oh, it's still crazy," he tells her. She walks over and sits next to him on the sofa. "I still think you're fuckin' nuts. But hey, at least you're not delusional. That's a technical!" he shouts at the television. "Fuckin' refs, man."
"Noah, may I ask why you're so interested in my love life?" she asks, turning towards him a little more. If his eyes fall to her thighs, it's because her skirt is barely covering her right now, and you bet your ass he's gonna look. She doesn't even scold him.
"First of all, you're not in love with the dude, okay? You're not."
"It's an expression."
"And second of all, you ever think that maybe I'm not a complete dick, and maybe I don't want to see you get fucked over?" he asks. He doesn't take his eyes off the television as he speaks, or she'd probably accuse him of being into her or something.
Which he totally is.
"I hadn't actually thought of that," she says. He glances over and she's got this little smile on her face. She looks down and plays with the hem of her skirt. Seriously, if that thing moves up any higher, he can't be held accountable for what he does. "Noah, do you actually care about me?"
"Hell no."
"Noah," she laughs.
"Where're your dads?" he asks.
"Out to dinner with friends."
She's confused. He's gonna un-confuse her. (She'd tell him that's not a word. He doesn't care.)
He turns to her, slips his hand into her hair and pulls her toward him. He doesn't do it fast enough that she couldn't pull away. He does that on purpose. If she really wanted to, she could fight him on it. She doesn't, though. She just lets him kiss her. And it's awesome. She moans when he runs his tongue slowly along the seam of her lips, and she doesn't hesitate before letting him deepen the kiss. Her hand ends up fisting the collar of his shirt, and this shit? He's convinced that she's not all in with Schue. She's got at least some sense.
She lets him lay her back on the sofa, though she doesn't know why. What is she doing? She has feelings for someone else! But there's always been this tension with Noah, and if she's being completely honest, it can probably only be defined as sexual. They come together when they're both single and do this and it's always, always amazing. They've never slept together or done anything more than just kissing, really, and (she hates this term, but it applies) heavy petting. Sometimes when he touches her, like right now, his hand on her thigh beneath her skirt, she feels like her skin is on fire. She's never felt that with anyone else. She doesn't know if that's good or bad.
"Does he kiss you like this?" Puck asks, his lips teasing her neck. She doesn't answer. He wants her to. "Does he?"
"No," she breathes out. She arches into him a little bit, rolling her hips. She really likes the sound that pulls from him.
"He won't," he tells her. He's unbuttoning her shirt and she can't make him stop. "He won't show up at your house. He won't take you out. He won't touch you."
She moans when he palms her breast through her bra. She knows he's right. She doesn't want to believe it. "He might. He could."
"He won't."
"You don't know..." He bites gently at her collarbone. He remembers that gets her totally hot. "Noah."
Shit, he loves the way his name sounds when she says it. He pulls away a little bit and looks down at her, her shirt open, pink bra showing. Her lips swollen and eyes shut. Hair a mess and chest heaving. Fucking gorgeous.
"Rachel, if you don't stop me, I'm...I'll take you right here."
She kisses him again, just gently. (She's hoping he won't be able to tell how much she might actually want that.) He thinks it means something that she just doesn't push him away.
"Okay. Stop," she says. They both sit up and she's combing her fingers through her hair when she asks, "why did you do that?"
He thinks it's funny (and hot) that she worries about her hair before she buttons her shirt. "Because."
"That's it?" she asks. "Because?"
"Yup." She's still looking at him, waiting for an answer. "Look at you. Your skirt is fucking criminal and you look hot as fuck." She rolls her eyes, but she's smiling. "And you need someone to show you what you're missing."
"What I'm missing?"
He switches off the television and stands, looking down at her. "You need sex, Rach. He's not gonna give that to you." She looks shocked. He leans down and kisses her. "I'm out. Later, babe."
He leaves because if he stays...If he stays, knowing she didn't fight him just now, he'll just end up having sex with her, and he can't do that. Mostly because he doesn't want her to think that's all he wants from her. God help him, he wants more than that. (Sex too, because shit, that girl can kiss. He's pretty sure the sex would be mind-blowing.)
Rachel watches him go, then locks the door behind him when she hears his truck start and back out of the driveway.
She doesn't know what to do right now. She knows he uses his kisses and his hands and (wow) his body to convey his feelings.
He really does care about her.
There's a little part of her that's always cared about him too, no matter what she may have said.
----
She marches into Mr. Schue's (Will's? She's still very conflicted about what to call him) office the next day and closes the door behind her. It's before school officially starts, so there are only a few students milling around in the halls, and he's doing something at his desk. He smiles when he looks up and sees her. That smile kind of gives her butterflies.
But then, she thinks, the butterflies have been fluttering around in her stomach since the night before when Puck pushed her back into her couch cushions.
"Good morning, Rachel," he says, putting down his pen.
"Good morning. I need you to kiss me."
He sputters and his eyes go wide. "I beg your pardon?"
"I know. It's...I'm crazy to just walk in here and immediately command that you kiss me, but you see, there's just...This, us, whatever this is, I just...I need to..."
He's across his office now, standing in front of her, and he takes her face in his hands.
He kisses her like he's kissed her the other times. Soft. Sweet. Not holding her tightly or tugging at her clothes or pressing her close to him.
Not like the other man. (And yes, she's resolved herself to thinking that Noah is, in fact, a man. He's demonstrated it rather convincingly.)
"Rachel, calm down," he says, grinning at her. "I know this is very strange for you. It's strange for me, too. But it's okay."
The more he says that, the less she believes it.
"How is it okay?" she asks, pulling away from him. She hadn't realized she was holding onto his tie.
"You're graduating soon."
"I know," she says quietly. "But what happens until then? This? Chaste kisses in your office once a week?"
"Rachel, I can't take you on dates," he says seriously. She nods. "I don't know what you're asking of me."
"I don't either," she admits. She looks up at him and she thinks he looks adorable when he's confused. "Just...more, I suppose."
"More," he whispers. She shrugs one shoulder slowly. "I can do more."
The smirk on his lips makes her smiles. "What does that mean?"
"Friday after rehearsal."
"What does that mean?" she repeats with a laugh. He kisses her forehead and turns her around, nudging her towards the door. "Will!"
"Patience, my dear," he says. He's behind his desk again when she looks at him over her shoulder.
She doesn't know what he's planning. She's excited to find out.
(Part 2)
Chapter: 1/2
Warning: You know the drill. Puck's a potty mouth who thinks about sex constantly.
Pairing: Puck/Rachel, Rachel/Will
Summary: Puck sees what's going on during the last half of their senior year, and he doesn't like it. Not only is it weird and just a little gross, but Rachel could do better. He wonders if she calls Schue 'Will' when they're alone.
Word Count: 17,000 (total)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
A/N: Thank you again to cheapen who gave me this prompt and let me run away with it! She's got wicked awesome ideas! AND thank you to becca_radcgg for reading this for me and telling me it wasn't garbage ;)
She tried this shit once before, and if she thinks he didn't notice it then, too, she's fucking looney.
Loonier.
What the fuck ever.
Basically, Puck sees what's going on during the last half of their senior year, and he doesn't fucking like it.
Not only is it weird and just a little gross, maybe, but Rachel could do better than Mr. Schue.
He wonders if she calls him Will when they're alone.
----
It happens like this:
Sophomore year, Puck and Rachel date for eight days, spend most of their time making out and trying to learn how to tolerate one another. (The making out is awesome. The tolerating, they never quite perfect.)
Sophomore year, Rachel rebounds from Puck by going a little swimfan on Mr. Schue. (Maybe it's not a rebound, but Puck's going to believe it is. The timing fits.)
Junior year, Puck comes back to school single and hits on just about everyone he can. (He was in a relationship for way to fucking long. He and Quinn breaking up just happened to line up perfectly with the beginning of the school year.)
And yes, this includes Rachel. She's single, and they make out at a party once, but she tells him not to tell anyone, and he says, "Trust me, I won't." And then she gets all offended and walks away. So there's that.
Also junior year, Mr. Schue and Miss P. get it together for good, apparently. Whatever. Puck doesn't care. Rachel and Finn start dating after Sectionals. Quinn and Matt hook up, which Puck thinks is pretty fucked, but doesn't really have an opinion about. Artie and Tina break up, and yeah, he and Tina kind of fuck around for a couple weeks behind everyone's backs, but they end that shit mutually. Tina's cool and doesn't even care that he acts like he barely knows her. And yeah, he thinks of hooking up with Mercedes, just so he can say he at least made out with all the chicks in glee club, but when he suggests it, she looks at him like he's a piece of shit (he might be) and tells him he's out of his damn mind (also a possibility).
Senior year, Puck is actually like, dating Santana, which is pretty fucked up, since he knows she fucks around with Brittany on the side. What kind of idiot would complain about that? And he convinces them to let him watch. Then he convinces them to let him join, which is fucking awesome. She dumps him for pretty much no reason, so he fucks Brittany behind her back and that just pisses her off even more. Whatever.
Mr. Schue and Miss P. break up, and she moves to Toledo or something like that. Mr. Schue goes through this period where he forces the glee club to sing songs like Said I Loved You, But I Lied and Tracks of My Tears and, kind of awesomely, All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye. (They'll take that one to Sectionals and bring the house down.)
And then Finn and Rachel break up and it's this whole big drama and Puck tries to ignore it because sometimes Rachel looks so fucking sad that it makes him feel like shit, and for once he has nothing to do with it.
She sings her ass off at Sectionals, which is a total cakewalk, and he hugs her when she smiles at him. You know, teamwork and whatever.
They make out again at some Jewish gathering over Christmas break. Yeah, that sounds fucked up, but he's not about to petition to Figgins or anything like Rachel's blathering on about. Actually, that's why he pulls her into the coat room of the JCC. She's talking too goddamn much, and since he's the only person at this stupid party she even knows, he's been the one she's talking to. He figures kissing her always shut her up pretty good.
Then get this. She says, "Noah, I don't care about you."
He laughs a little. "'S'fine."
She pulls away from him, lets go of his tie and looks into his eyes. "Do you care about anything?"
And very seriously; "Pussy."
She totally thinks that he doesn't see her smile, but he totally does.
He still can't really get her to do anything but just make out though, so that kind of sucks. Again, neither of them want anyone to know, so he watches as she smoothes her hands over her hair and walks from the room without another glance.
Sometime after the holidays, Schue asks Rachel to stay after practice, and she's a little too eager to do it. Puck isn't an idiot. And he doesn't like the look on her face. (He's seen it before, directed at him.)
That's pretty much where we're at now.
----
She knows it's irresponsible.
No, that's not the right word. It's not irresponsible, it's just...ridiculous.
The thing is, it starts out innocently. He catches her crying a couple weeks after she and Finn have broken up, and she shouldn't be upset about it anymore. But she thinks that if anyone understands what she's going through, it's Mr. Schue. He's going through the same thing. The only difference is that he doesn't have to see his ex every day. She has to sing with Finn, pretend it doesn't hurt her to see him flirting with Santana or whoever else. He hugs her and she lets her arms come to settle on his back.
He helps her with their songs for Sectionals. He gives her a solo with just choral backing because she deserves it and she's the best, and he actually admits that to her for the first time. She wonders if maybe it's just because she's a senior now or something. He tells her that she'll really be something someday if she can keep her ego in check.
For whatever reason, him saying those words makes her feel amazing, even if it is a bit of a backhanded compliment.
He hugs her tight after Sectionals, tells her he's proud of her, and she looks away first. She pulls away from him and hugs Noah, because something about the way Mr. Schue was looking at her made her feel something. Something familiar and not at all bad, and she can still remember that awful phase she went through two years ago.
She kisses Noah over the holiday break because even if the two of them barely speak, he's still an adept kisser, and he's available. (And he's not a teacher or 15 years her senior.)
When school starts again, Mr. Schue takes her advice and starts thinking of Regionals immediately. They've been beaten two years in a row, and she won't let it happen again this year, her senior year. So they meet in his office after school one day and talk about song selections and choreography.
It's different, this meeting. They're laughing together and he listens to her speaking instead of dismissing her suggestions or insisting he has to take it to a vote. (Not all of her ideas get used, but she doesn't hold it against him.)
He gives her a ride home one day after practice when her dads call a little too late to say they can't pick her up. Everyone else has left. Their hands brush when he takes her bag from her to carry it. He smiles. She gets butterflies.
This is all very strange. She refuses to let herself get caught up in this.
But then they're in his office and she's giving him her notes about their ballad for Regionals, and the door is closed, and the blinds are drawn, and she catches him looking at her lips. That's never happened before.
So she kisses him. He doesn't kiss her back. She pulls away immediately and puts distance between them, and she starts talking about how she's sorry, how it was wrong of her to do that and she understands if he can't be alone with her any more. Her eyes are closed, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
"Rachel," he says calmly. She looks at him, pleading with him not to make this worse. "It's okay."
"It's not."
"Well, no," he says, and they both laugh a little. "But if I wasn't...and if you weren't a student..."
"Don't say that." She's shaking her head. This can't be happening. How is this happening? She annoys him! He tolerates her because he's a teacher and he has to! He's not supposed to like her. "I have to go."
"You should," he says, standing in front of her and passing her music back to her.
He kisses her before she can open the door. (She leaves right after anyway, but the damage is done.)
Everything changes from there.
----
Puck doesn't know what it is about Rachel, but he always has this urge to (shut up) protect her or something. It's fucked. It happened when Jesse fucked her over. (He punched the dude in the face so hard, Jesse fell on his ass.) It happened when Finn broke up with her. (Finn's his boy, so he just got a stern talking to. Whatever.) And then there's the sticking up for her sometimes when people are treating her like shit, which they still do sometimes.
Sometimes he thinks she's just this silly, naive girl who can't take care of herself. If he's going to be really honest. Seriously. Mr. Schue?
He catches up to her one day between the end of class and the start of glee. She's walking down the hall, her skirt bouncing against her thighs. They're the only two people in the hall, so she runs to catch up to her. When he touches her elbow, she turns around, then her face falls.
"Expecting someone else?" he asks, his brow raised.
"I wasn't expecting anyone. Can I help you?"
He'd believe her if she was looking him in the eye. "If seen you, you know."
"Well, congratulations, Noah," she says, rolling her eyes.
"Sarcasm? Really?"
"Maybe if I had any clue what you're talking about, I'd give you an answer closer to the one you're looking for. Until you clue me in, however..."
"You and..." His voice is a little louder than he intended it to be. "You and Schue."
"You're being ridiculous."
"Come on, Rachel," he says, shaking his head. "You forget that I'm like, the king of picking up what girls are putting down. I'm not fucking blind."
"We've established that," she says dryly. "Mr. Schuester and I are merely attempting to win Regionals. It's taking extra work, extra dialogue. Unlike you, I actually care to take the time to meet with him."
He smirks at her. He wonders where she learned to bullshit like that. "Well, I care about glee. Maybe I'll come to your meetings," he says.
She looks pissed. Or disappointed.
"Fine," she says stoically. "Today after rehearsal."
"It's Friday."
"You wanted to talk, so you can talk. I can't wait to hear your ideas."
She turns and walks away. He thinks he's just been played.
(He's too proud to blow off the meeting, so he sits there and listens while she and Schue talk. But his suspicion is only confirmed. He can read her better than she thinks.)
----
Every time Noah looks at her now, she wonders if he can see what she's trying so hard to hide from everyone else. Not that there's really all that much to hide.
Just reciprocal feelings between herself and a teacher that they're both trying very, very hard not to act on.
Sometimes she wonders if it's all in her head. But it's not. Mr. Schuester smiles at her, winks sometimes when no one else is looking. The other day they were addressing the group together, and his hand lingered on her back longer than it had to.
They haven't kissed again. She hasn't let that happen. Or maybe he hasn't. Either way, it hasn't happened.
She desperately wants it to.
But then everywhere she looks, there's Noah, watching her. She's walking and talking with Mr. Schuester once and Noah doesn't take his eyes off her. Not them, just her. It's like he's trying to warn her or something.
She doesn't know why he cares so much.
----
"Mr. Schuester, I really think..."
"Rachel," he laughs. "You can call me Will."
She blushes a little bit. They're in his office, sitting next to one another in the chairs across from his desk. She's got choreography storyboarded on thick poster board between them. He's holding one side, she, the other. His arm brushes hers and she honestly doesn't know what she's doing.
"Will. That sounds very...I don't know."
He smiles and turns toward her a little more. "You don't have to call me Will."
"No, I want to," she insists. "I suppose I'm still just trying to figure out which lines to cross and which to stay far, far away from."
There's a gleam in his eye. She gets the impression that he'd say something wholly inappropriate if the situation were any different. She wishes it was.
"Well, we shouldn't be crossing any of them," he reminds her. She smiles and nods her head. "But..."
She bites her bottom lip. His hand finds her knee beneath the poster board. "But..."
He meets her in the middle, kisses her, and the fireworks go off in her stomach.
"This is so..." she starts. He brushes his lips against hers to silence her. Boys are always doing that.
(Men? She's so confused.)
"Good?"
"Yes," she laughs. "But I was going to say wrong."
"That too," he says quietly. "You should..."
"Yes. I have history homework." He looks amused. She thinks maybe reminding him that she's a student is the wrong thing to do. "I should try not to say things like that."
"It's fine," he says. He stands first, putting the poster board against the wall. He's promised her he'll study it later. "Go home, Rachel."
"I'll see you tomorrow," she says. She gives his hand a squeeze before she steps out into the hall.
Noah is walking in her direction as she heads for the door. She smiles, hitches her bag over her shoulder, but doesn't acknowledge him any more than that.
"What are you still doing here?" he asks, stepping right in front of her.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"Forgot my chem book in my locker," he says. "You have a date or something?" She rolls her eyes, then gives him her best glare. "I mean, where else would you two go?"
"Noah," she hisses. "Please. You seem to have it in your head that..."
"You see anyone else around here coming out of his office with pink cheeks and big fuckin' smiles? I don't. Just you, Rach," he says seriously. "Come on. I know you're all broken up over Finn, but..."
"This has nothing to do with Finn!" she cries. He gets this big stupid smirk on his face and she realizes she's just basically admitted to what he's been accusing her of. "Have you considered that maybe I used you to get over Finn?"
He scoffs. "I don't think so, babe. People don't use me. I use them."
"Clearly," she mumbles.
He looks at her for a second. He honestly wonders what she thinks of him. He shouldn't care. He doesn't owe her anything. She doesn't owe him anything. But he doesn't want this thing with her and Schue going on.
"What are you doing, Rachel?" he asks quietly.
He actually sounds concerned. "Noah, please. Even if there was something going on, which there's not, you are certainly the last person I would be talking to about it."
He thinks about it for a second. He's almost proud of her for lying. Almost. Then there's the fact that he doesn't believe her at all. Not one bit. He could have sworn Mr. Schue had his hand on the small of her back for a good 10 seconds the other day. And Puck knows what Rachel looks like post-kiss. He's seen it enough.
This, right here? She's post-kiss.
He doesn't like it. At all.
"You can if you want," he says, for whatever reason. "You know I'm discreet and shit."
She scoffs and rolls her eyes again. "I'll keep that in mind."
She breezes past him. He watches the sway of her hips as she goes. Nothing new. He does this a lot.
----
She gets home and realizes that nothing she says is going to convince Noah that there's nothing going on.
And it would be nice to have someone, anyone, to talk to about this.
----
Meet me somewhere?
He smiles when he gets the text. Either she finally wants to come clean, or she's asking him to make out.
Either way...
Sure. Where?
Ice rink.
What the fuck? Why the hell would she want to go to the ice rink? He doesn't get that. Not to mention, it's fucking cold outside already. Shouldn't she suggest somewhere warm? Like, say, her bedroom? He's pretty sure he could screw this Schue obsession right out of her. And he could seduce her, too. They've already dated and made out and, shit, that one time she totally stroked him through his jeans at that party before he said the wrong thing and she got pissed and left. At least she'd left him close. And she looks hot when she's mad.
Anyway. Where were we? Right. Heat. The ice rink is just about the last place he'd choose to meet. But whatever. It gets him out of his house with his crazy mom and annoying sister, and maybe Rachel will finally admit the thing he already knows.
He sees her sitting in the stands, bundled up in her scarf and jacket when he gets there, so he springs for hot chocolate before he goes inside to meet her. She looks at him like he's crazy when he hands her the cup.
"It's just hot chocolate. I didn't spike it with anything," he tells her as he sits down. "'S'fuckin' cold in here."
"I like it," she says, cradling the styrofoam cup in both hands. "I always wanted to be a figure skater."
He looks out on the ice surface, where there are pairs of people skating around. "Yeah?" he asks, because he figures that if she's going to talk to him, he can, you know, at least sound interested.
"Ice dance. Like this," she says, pointing to the couple at the middle of the ice. "I could, too. I'm an excellent dancer."
He smirks at her. "You're alright."
"I'm excellent," she says, glaring at him. He gives her a half-grin. "I'm an excellent dancer, but a terrible skater."
"You mean you're bad at something?" he teases. She blows the steam off her hot chocolate. "Alright. Fuck. Spill. I know you didn't bring me here to talk about fucking figure skating."
She takes a deep breath and looks down at her lap. She doesn't know why she's doing this. She really shouldn't trust him. But then again, he's never told anyone about those times they've made out and she's done incredibly...almost sexual things with him. (She remembers how he felt, hard through his jeans when she ran her hand over him.)
Oh, god. She's blushing.
"It's nothing. Honestly," she tells him. He's not convinced in the slightest. "It's...It's silly, really."
"How silly? Like, you have feelings and he doesn't and he's smart enough to ignore it? Or like, you let him nail you over the desk in his office?"
"Noah!" she hisses, looking around them. There's no one within earshot. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you about this."
"Because I'm the only one who isn't too much of an idiot to see what's going on," he says seriously. "Rachel, you know how fucked this is, right? Like...you know that."
"I know," she whispers. "I know that."
"He's a teacher. I mean...What do you think is gonna happen?"
"I don't know," she admits quietly. "I don't. But...but he feels...he has feelings for me, too, and I'm only in school for another four months, and then..."
"And then what?" he asks with a laugh. "Then you go to New York? L.A.? Chicago? He stays here and you two fuckin' hook up on holidays? Come on, Rachel."
"I don't know." He sighs, shakes his head, and she turns to him. "I don't know. It's just nice to not date a boy."
He lets out a bitter laugh. "Date? You're calling meeting a couple times a week in his office dating."
"You know, I can't understand why you're so interested in my love life all of a sudden. You didn't care when I dated Finn, and he's your best friend. In fact, you barely spoke to me at all. So why now? Why do you care now, all of a sudden?"
He takes a deep breath and sets his hot chocolate down on the floor between his feet. "You're gonna get fucked over."
"Yes, well, again. That happened with Finn, too. You didn't stop that."
"Finn isn't your fucking teacher! He's not 35 and divorced. You forgetting that he almost had a kid?"
"He didn't."
"He thought he was having one. He wanted one. Probably still does. Shit, Rach. Are you gonna give up your..."
"I don't know!" she cries. Her voice echoes through the ice rink, even over the music. "I don't know. I just...I have feelings for him."
"You're fucking nuts," he says, shaking his head. "You are. You know this is gonna be a shitfest."
"Noah, I know you aren't a master of understanding your feelings, but when you actually have them for someone, you just want...you want it to work. It doesn't even matter how. You just want it to work."
He picks up his cup again, stands, and takes a couple steps down on the bleachers. When he turns back to her, she's watching him. "You really think it's going to work?"
"I want it to."
"That's not what I asked," he tells her. Her eyes meet his and she shrugs helplessly. "And for the record? I'm not a boy." Her brow furrows. "I don't treat women like other guys my age do."
He walks away, then, and she's left just sitting there, listening to the music in the rink and the blades cutting into the ice.
She doesn't think anyone's ever really called her a woman before.
And why is he making it sound like he wants to be with her or something?
----
He decides he's going to have to take matters into his own hands. There's no way Rachel's going to end this. Mr. Schuester will, if someone can knock some sense into him. It's like Sylvester is always saying; maybe all that product really is seeping into his brain. Puck thinks that if he can get the dude to realize that, hey, Rachel's 18 and a student and therefore off limits, asshole, then maybe things will go back to normal.
So he starts running some interference.
First, he shows up to practice early. Every day. Rachel is pissed. It's cute. Then, one day after practice, he asks Mr. Schue for some advice, asks if he can meet in the dude's office. The look on Rachel's face? Puck wishes he had a camera. He thinks he might be interrupting a 'date' or something.
This is gonna be awesome.
"So what's up, Puck?" Schue asks as he sits down at his desk.
"I just...Okay. I've got this situation. There's a girl," Puck says. He's such a fucking awesome liar. "But it's just that she's younger."
Schue chokes on his water. "Oh. Well. How much younger?"
Puck laughs. "Well, not like 15 years or anything. I mean, fuck. Who does that?" he asks. Mr. Schue just nods. Puck thinks this is amazing. "I like her, you know? And she's smokin' hot. It's just that I'm leaving for school soon, and then what? I mean, I'm not a long-term relationship guy, really. And long distance? I'll suck at that."
"I'm not understanding what you're asking me here, Puck," Mr. Schue says, leaning forward a little.
"It's just that...If the relationship won't be going anywhere, should I even bother starting it?"
Puck can see the wheels turning. Mr. Schuester is seriously thinking about all this.
"Well, I think that ultimately, it's the experience you go after. Not every girl you date has to be the one," Schue explains seriously.
Puck thinks this is bullshit. Not because he doesn't agree, but because dude is totally trying to justify his own actions, which is pretty fucked up.
"Would you do it?" Puck asks. "I mean, if you knew there was no future there. Would you just go for it anyway?"
"Oh. Well, I..."
"I'd ask a guidance counselor, but, you know...we don't have one of those right now."
(Yeah, he figures throwing that whole thing out there can't hurt.)
"Well, look, Puck, I think you just have to really think about what you want. Follow your heart. You'll know if she's worth it."
Puck is getting the impression that this dude like, actually has feelings for Rachel. It's not all in her head. (He was kind of hoping it was.) Mr. Schue is actually getting involved with a student.
Holy shit.
"And if it's worth it...I mean, you'd go for it?" Puck asks. He feels weird now, like he's way too involved in this fucked up situation when it has nothing to do with him. He wishes he could go back to not caring. Those were the good old days.
"I would," Schue says confidently. "You never know unless you try, right?"
Just when Puck thinks this whole meeting is totally fucked and only pushing Schue closer to Rachel, something amazing happens. It's like stars aligning or something.
Rachel plays right into his hands.
His phone rings in his pocket and he reaches for it, seeing her name on the screen. Mr. Schue motions for him to take it.
"Hey, Rach," Puck says casually. He winks at Mr. Schue when the guy looks at him with a furrowed brow. Rachel is absolutely laying into him, asking what in the world he's doing and yadda yadda yadda. "No, sure, I can meet you...Chinese? I love Chinese...I'll pick you up in a half hour."
He hangs up and Mr. Schuester is pretending to grade papers or some shit, and Puck stands.
"You two are...I didn't know you two were close," Schue says.
Puck shrugs and slings his back pack over his shoulder. "She's cool, you know? I mean, when she's not being crazy."
And then this happens:
Schuester gets this little smile on his face, a sparkle in his eye or whatever, and says, "Yes, she is."
Puck leaves before he does something crazy like call the dude out on this shit.
----
Puck decides that he really is going to take her to dinner. Or at least try, because he's pretty sure there's no way she's going to leave the house and go anywhere with him.
But he drives around for a good 20 minutes first, thinking about what Mr. Schue said about not knowing until you try. And Puck thinks that of all the people he knows, he and Rachel have the most in common. And that sounds pretty fucked up, actually. But they're both stubborn, and they both want to get the fuck out of this town. They both want to win at everything they do (Puck's a little less scary about it, but whatever). He likes her, he thinks. She's seriously nice, and she's funny when she's not freaking everyone the hell out with her tirades and five dollar words. The other night at the ice rink when they were just talking, he didn't want to jab a pen in his ears or anything. And he thinks he likes learning shit about her, like when she told him she wanted to be a skater or whatever.
So when he shows up at her house, he realizes that he fucking likes her. He realizes that's the reason he's so pissed (and he is pissed) about this Schuester thing. It wouldn't matter who she dated, he'd still hate the douche. He's trying really hard not to look back to sophomore year and figure out if that's always been true. (He hated Jesse, and he always felt weird around she and Finn.)
So fuck. He like, actually likes her.
She answers the door and immediately glares at him.
"What are you doing here?" she asks.
"Didn't you hear? I told you I was coming."
"And I called you a manipulative delinquent with no morals!"
He smirks and pushes past her into the house. He regrets it for a second, because he's pretty sure that her dads don't like him, but whatever. He doesn't see them around. That's a bonus. His mind immediately goes to a different place. Like, a bed, nakedness, her moaning his name...
"What do you want?" she asks, closing the door behind her.
He could answer honestly, but she'd probably slap him. As hot as that could be, he's not going to push his luck.
"Can't a guy just wanna hang out? Shit." He sits down on the sofa and props his feet up on the table, grabbing the remote for the television. "I think there's a Cavs game on."
"Noah!" she shouts. She walks over and stands directly in front of the television. "What did you say to him?"
"Nothing," Puck says, smirking as he shrugs his shoulder. "Just asked for some advice. See, there's this younger girl and it could never work. Wanted his opinion." The way she's staring at him, he doesn't know if she's going to kill him or burst into tears. "For the record, he said to go for it. Follow my heart or some shit."
She cracks a little smile. "Well, now do you believe me that it's not so crazy?"
"Oh, it's still crazy," he tells her. She walks over and sits next to him on the sofa. "I still think you're fuckin' nuts. But hey, at least you're not delusional. That's a technical!" he shouts at the television. "Fuckin' refs, man."
"Noah, may I ask why you're so interested in my love life?" she asks, turning towards him a little more. If his eyes fall to her thighs, it's because her skirt is barely covering her right now, and you bet your ass he's gonna look. She doesn't even scold him.
"First of all, you're not in love with the dude, okay? You're not."
"It's an expression."
"And second of all, you ever think that maybe I'm not a complete dick, and maybe I don't want to see you get fucked over?" he asks. He doesn't take his eyes off the television as he speaks, or she'd probably accuse him of being into her or something.
Which he totally is.
"I hadn't actually thought of that," she says. He glances over and she's got this little smile on her face. She looks down and plays with the hem of her skirt. Seriously, if that thing moves up any higher, he can't be held accountable for what he does. "Noah, do you actually care about me?"
"Hell no."
"Noah," she laughs.
"Where're your dads?" he asks.
"Out to dinner with friends."
She's confused. He's gonna un-confuse her. (She'd tell him that's not a word. He doesn't care.)
He turns to her, slips his hand into her hair and pulls her toward him. He doesn't do it fast enough that she couldn't pull away. He does that on purpose. If she really wanted to, she could fight him on it. She doesn't, though. She just lets him kiss her. And it's awesome. She moans when he runs his tongue slowly along the seam of her lips, and she doesn't hesitate before letting him deepen the kiss. Her hand ends up fisting the collar of his shirt, and this shit? He's convinced that she's not all in with Schue. She's got at least some sense.
She lets him lay her back on the sofa, though she doesn't know why. What is she doing? She has feelings for someone else! But there's always been this tension with Noah, and if she's being completely honest, it can probably only be defined as sexual. They come together when they're both single and do this and it's always, always amazing. They've never slept together or done anything more than just kissing, really, and (she hates this term, but it applies) heavy petting. Sometimes when he touches her, like right now, his hand on her thigh beneath her skirt, she feels like her skin is on fire. She's never felt that with anyone else. She doesn't know if that's good or bad.
"Does he kiss you like this?" Puck asks, his lips teasing her neck. She doesn't answer. He wants her to. "Does he?"
"No," she breathes out. She arches into him a little bit, rolling her hips. She really likes the sound that pulls from him.
"He won't," he tells her. He's unbuttoning her shirt and she can't make him stop. "He won't show up at your house. He won't take you out. He won't touch you."
She moans when he palms her breast through her bra. She knows he's right. She doesn't want to believe it. "He might. He could."
"He won't."
"You don't know..." He bites gently at her collarbone. He remembers that gets her totally hot. "Noah."
Shit, he loves the way his name sounds when she says it. He pulls away a little bit and looks down at her, her shirt open, pink bra showing. Her lips swollen and eyes shut. Hair a mess and chest heaving. Fucking gorgeous.
"Rachel, if you don't stop me, I'm...I'll take you right here."
She kisses him again, just gently. (She's hoping he won't be able to tell how much she might actually want that.) He thinks it means something that she just doesn't push him away.
"Okay. Stop," she says. They both sit up and she's combing her fingers through her hair when she asks, "why did you do that?"
He thinks it's funny (and hot) that she worries about her hair before she buttons her shirt. "Because."
"That's it?" she asks. "Because?"
"Yup." She's still looking at him, waiting for an answer. "Look at you. Your skirt is fucking criminal and you look hot as fuck." She rolls her eyes, but she's smiling. "And you need someone to show you what you're missing."
"What I'm missing?"
He switches off the television and stands, looking down at her. "You need sex, Rach. He's not gonna give that to you." She looks shocked. He leans down and kisses her. "I'm out. Later, babe."
He leaves because if he stays...If he stays, knowing she didn't fight him just now, he'll just end up having sex with her, and he can't do that. Mostly because he doesn't want her to think that's all he wants from her. God help him, he wants more than that. (Sex too, because shit, that girl can kiss. He's pretty sure the sex would be mind-blowing.)
Rachel watches him go, then locks the door behind him when she hears his truck start and back out of the driveway.
She doesn't know what to do right now. She knows he uses his kisses and his hands and (wow) his body to convey his feelings.
He really does care about her.
There's a little part of her that's always cared about him too, no matter what she may have said.
----
She marches into Mr. Schue's (Will's? She's still very conflicted about what to call him) office the next day and closes the door behind her. It's before school officially starts, so there are only a few students milling around in the halls, and he's doing something at his desk. He smiles when he looks up and sees her. That smile kind of gives her butterflies.
But then, she thinks, the butterflies have been fluttering around in her stomach since the night before when Puck pushed her back into her couch cushions.
"Good morning, Rachel," he says, putting down his pen.
"Good morning. I need you to kiss me."
He sputters and his eyes go wide. "I beg your pardon?"
"I know. It's...I'm crazy to just walk in here and immediately command that you kiss me, but you see, there's just...This, us, whatever this is, I just...I need to..."
He's across his office now, standing in front of her, and he takes her face in his hands.
He kisses her like he's kissed her the other times. Soft. Sweet. Not holding her tightly or tugging at her clothes or pressing her close to him.
Not like the other man. (And yes, she's resolved herself to thinking that Noah is, in fact, a man. He's demonstrated it rather convincingly.)
"Rachel, calm down," he says, grinning at her. "I know this is very strange for you. It's strange for me, too. But it's okay."
The more he says that, the less she believes it.
"How is it okay?" she asks, pulling away from him. She hadn't realized she was holding onto his tie.
"You're graduating soon."
"I know," she says quietly. "But what happens until then? This? Chaste kisses in your office once a week?"
"Rachel, I can't take you on dates," he says seriously. She nods. "I don't know what you're asking of me."
"I don't either," she admits. She looks up at him and she thinks he looks adorable when he's confused. "Just...more, I suppose."
"More," he whispers. She shrugs one shoulder slowly. "I can do more."
The smirk on his lips makes her smiles. "What does that mean?"
"Friday after rehearsal."
"What does that mean?" she repeats with a laugh. He kisses her forehead and turns her around, nudging her towards the door. "Will!"
"Patience, my dear," he says. He's behind his desk again when she looks at him over her shoulder.
She doesn't know what he's planning. She's excited to find out.
(Part 2)