stole your heart and your pillows [2/3]
Title: stole your heart and your pillows [2/3]
Pairing: Santana/Rachel
Summary: She gives Santana one last look and heads for the checkout line, and Santana doesn't honestly know why a straight woman with a kid just looked at her like that, but fuck. She doesn't really care, either.
Word Count: 24,000 (total)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
"So, you sang a song for her."
"It was a request."
"And you shared a cab back to your neighbourhood, and then..."
Santana rolls her eyes. "Okay, stop making it sound like it's messed up that I didn't have sex with her. It's not."
Blaine slips his arm through hers and she fucking hates it when he does that, but whatever. He just bought her a latté, so it's fine. For now. "It's not messed up, but you have to admit that it doesn't normally take you this long to bed your conquests."
"Oh, my god," she groans, glaring. "I don't have conquests."
"You have...targets. Or..."
"You're being a dick. I'm not even that bad. Not all of us can be like, hotshot musical writers who have boys falling over themselves to get in line for a ride."
"Santana," he says, and god, he'll be a good parent with that tone of voice. "I wasn't saying...I didn't mean anything by it."
Yeah, see, he knows her. She lashes out when she feels vulnerable or hurt or whatever. It's annoying that he like, calls her on it and apologizes for shit, 'cause she'd like to be a bitch and tell him to fuck himself. But it's Blaine, and he's her person.
"You actually like her," he says, and doesn't sound all shocked or whatever, or like she's stupid for doing it.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Santana lets out a short laugh, sips her coffee and shakes her head. "I have no fucking idea."
That's the truth, too. She really doesn't know what it is about this particular woman that's got her acting like a fucking lovestruck teenager. That's probably the most annoying part. If she knew why she's sort of making an effort with Rachel, it wouldn't be so bad. If Rachel had legitimately shown interest in her, or if they'd like, had sex and this was the aftermath or whatever. It's not like she's foreign to feelings, but she's not exactly used to them, either.
"I'm just worried," Blaine says seriously, "that if you become friends with her and you want something she can't give you, you'll be really hurt." He slings his arm around her shoulder, then, and kisses the side of her head. "I don't like seeing you hurt."
She says, "Stop being a girl," but what she really means is, "Thank you."
He gets that. That's why he's her best friend.
... ... ...
"Hi, Tana!" Santana smiles and waves at the little girl. She has no clue why the kid's calling her that, but she doesn't care, and like, it's hard to be upset with someone that size calling you whatever. Especially when the little thing is wearing a red rubber rain coat and matching boots.
"Hey, kid." And like, Rachel's wearing a Burberry trench and holding a big black umbrella and looking really fucking sexy, to be honest. "Hey."
They agreed to meet up and go to the Museum of Natural History because there's a special kids' exhibit happening. And by 'they agreed', Santana means that Rachel called and asked if Santana was free on Thursday and she said yes before listening to what they'd actually be doing. But whatever, because this will be fun anyway.
And like, she feels like a bit of a slob in her Yankees cap, Columbia jacket, and jeans. No one seems to be complaining, though.
Santana suggests a cab, but Rachel isn't having any part of that. She says something about not wanting Lyla to get too comfortable with things that aren't necessary, so they wait for the bus and she stands behind the girl as she goes up the steps so she won't fall backwards. Lyla thanks the bus driver and the guy tips his hat to her, which is nice of him to do. The ride isn't very long, and there are no seats, so Rachel holds onto the bar with one hand, and Lyla with the other. Santana sort of stands in such a way that if Lyla gets jostled around at least she'll hit either Rachel's legs, or Santana's. She doesn't have any parental instincts whatsoever, but she figures making sure a kid doesn't go flying around a bus is pretty basic. And Rachel still says she would have rather walked, since they're so close anyway, but it's seriously pouring out and she doesn't want any of them catching a cold.
They check their coats when they get there, because they're all wet and it'd suck to have to carry them around, and Santana takes off her cap, checks it with her coat, and runs her fingers through her hair. Rachel's watching pretty closely.
"What?"
"Nothing," Rachel laughs, straightening out her top. "You just have really great hair."
Santana looks at Rachel's head of like, shampoo-commercial-quality hair. "Thanks," she says, and then reaches over and tugs at a lock of Rachel's. The woman just rolls her eyes and takes Lyla's hand again, but whatever. Santana made her point.
The kids' thing is kind of cool, and very hands on, and it seems to be a lot about high tech something or another, so each kid is given a little cuff bracelet that has like, some kind of GPS on it or something, and they can't leave the room this thing is in without an alarm going off. The parent of each kid is given some sort of tracking device. Basically it just means the kids can do whatever the hell they want in here without running away or anything.
Some genius set up a coffee bar near the check in desk to the exhibit, and there are a few benches and tables around, too. She buys Rachel a tea, and they sit there together and watch Lyla go around the room checking out all the little stations. She tilts her head up and looks at the museum workers explaining everything to the kids, and then jumps right in, like, dusting for dinosaur bones using some like, future-aged hologram something or another.
"I sort of love rainy days," Rachel says, just as Lyla looks over at them just to...Santana doesn't know. Make sure they're still there? Rachel waves her fingers a little, which makes Lyla smile and turn back to what she was doing.
"Yeah? You know your kid is super fucking cute, right?" Maybe it's not exactly on topic, but shit. Lyla's the cutest one in here.
Rachel just laughs and blows on her tea. "Thank you."
"Sorry. Yeah. Rainy days?" Rachel nods a bit. Her heel hits Santana's thigh when she crosses her legs and Santana realizes how close together they're sitting on this bench. "Why?"
"I don't know. They're kind of romantic." Santana just looks at her. They're in a roomful of kids. "Not like...I don't mean it like that. There's just this mood about them."
Santana says, "Okay," and Rachel rolls her eyes. "I usually like to stay inside. I dunno. I don't like getting soaking wet for no reason."
Rachel clears her throat and Santana has to wonder what the fuck that's about. "Lyla was really excited to see you."
Oh, shit. "Yeah?"
"Mhmm." Rachel laughs a little. "I tried all morning to get her to say your name properly, but she insists on calling you Tana. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Santana says. Her throat feels weird. "I don't hate it."
Rachel turns to her a little more. "Are you sure?" she asks, and Santana furrows her brow. "You just...You don't seem entirely comfortable around children."
"I've just never really been around them before." Oh, god. Is it that obvious? That is probably a deal breaker to someone who has a kid. "But Lyla's awesome, and I don't...I'm not like, clueless with them, I don't think."
"No," Rachel says, laughing softly. She sets her hand on Santana's shoulder, so, um. "No, I wasn't implying...I just don't want you to feel like you have to pretend to be okay with it if you aren't."
Santana doesn't know how to say this without sounding like she's just saying it. But she goes, "I'm okay with it," and sort of smiles, and Rachel seems to accept that.
A little boy who looks younger than Lyla falls down near her, and she helps him up and asks if he's okay, and like, Santana's heart is seriously fucked, because she thinks that kid is the sweetest thing ever.
"She's more you than Puck, huh?"
Rachel just laughs. "Oh, there's a fair bit of each of us in her. If it had been she who'd fallen, she'd be looking around for someone to blame and possibly hit. That's all Noah."
"I can't see her hitting anyone," Santana says, laughing. The look Rachel gives her is hilarious. "She's so cute, though."
"Until she loses her temper."
Santana sips her coffee and smirks. "I imagine you can go off, too."
With narrowed eyes, Rachel asks, "What has Noah told you?" Santana just laughs and insists he hasn't told her anything, which is the truth. "My temper isn't nearly as short as his, thank you very much."
Santana kind of hates how natural their conversation always seems to be. Like, it's so easy to like Rachel when they have balanced conversations that aren't just one of them talking about themselves and the other left just sitting there listening. Even that night when Rachel was opening up about her relationship with Puck and whatever, it wasn't just her talking.
The subject changes to something else, and then when they're talking about Rachel's work and stuff, Santana says something about her ex-girlfriend being a chorus girl in Cabaret. She realizes Rachel doesn't seem at all surprised to learn that Santana's interested in women, even though she's almost positive she's never said anything about her sexuality before. Maybe she's just obvious or something. Or maybe Rachel's got better instincts than Santana gave her credit for. Or maybe she talked to someone and found out.
It really doesn't matter. She shouldn't be acting like it does. It's obviously not an issue.
They've been hanging out for about 40 minutes when Lyla comes over and very cutely says, "Mommy, I'm done now," and holds up her wrist like she wants that chunky bracelet thing off her arm. Rachel kisses her daughter's nose and they stand up so one of the museum staff can take the bracelet off.
Santana's at least a little worried that that'll be it for their day, but Rachel suggests they do the rest of the museum, and Lyla is all for that. Apparently she likes the animals, so they walk around and Lyla wants to be lifted up so she can see everything better, which is okay, really, only Rachel's arms get tired after about the tenth time Lyla asks to be hoisted up.
Rachel turns to her and goes, "Do you mind?" and Santana doesn't know how to say that she sort of does.
'Cause like, what if she drops the kid? Or if she hurts her or holds her in the wrong spot and like, bruises her by accident or something?
Whatever. She can do this. Lyla's looking up at her with her eyes all wide and waiting, and Santana hooks her hands under the kids arms just like Rachel's been doing, and sort of just lifts the kid up and then drapes her arm across Lyla's thighs to hold her against her stomach.
"I can see even more, 'cause Tana isn't so short as you, Mommy!"
Honestly? Santana feels kind of awesome. Even more so when she feels Rachel's hand on her back.
So yeah. She sort of ends up being the one to do the rest of the lifting for the day, but she doesn't really mind.
By the time they leave, it's nearing dinner time, and she says they can stop somewhere for a bite if Rachel wants, but Lyla's tired and Rachel would like to get her home before she gets cranky. It's not raining anymore, so the streets are just wet, and the walk shouldn't be too long at all. Rachel gives Lyla a hilariously epic speech about not jumping in puddles, and like, even Santana knows that one's not going to stick.
Rachel isn't watching when she jumps in the first one, and Santana just tries not to laugh because she probably should say something about it. Especially since Lyla saw her looking. Oh well. You're only four once, you know?
Rachel's building is on the way to Santana's from here, so she drops them off, sort of, and Lyla says goodbye and hugs Santana's legs, which is just...Ugh. Rachel laughs at the way Lyla runs up the steps to tell the doorman all about her day.
"Um, hey," Santana says before Rachel can say goodbye. "Look, I know I'm not great with kids or whatever, but I really...I'm..."
"Santana." Rachel smiles and touches Santana's arm. "You're better than you think you are." Okay, that makes her feel better. "And you're already better than the last woman I dated."
Lyla calls to her and Rachel says a quick goodbye and starts up the steps to her building, and...
What the fuck?
... ... ...
"She's a lesbian!"
Okay, granted, if she'd known Blaine had friends over, she wouldn't have walked into his apartment and announced that, but it's cool. She knows Gregory and Daniel anyway.
Blaine just laughs. "Excellent news."
"Fuckin' A, right?" She grabs a couple of the little finger foods Blaine's got on platters on the table. She really didn't mean to interrupt. "Greg. Danny."
She kisses the top of Blaine's head and leaves almost as quickly as she came. Blaine won't even be mad.
And she's happy, so whatever.
... ... ...
She's still reeling from Rachel's confession or whatever, a couple days later, when she walks into the studio and Lyla is there with Puck. She's sitting on his lap and talking to him pretty excitedly about something, and when she sees Santana, she goes, "Daddy, I need to be down," and he laughs and sets her on her feet. She hugs Santana again, only this time, Santana lets her hands fall to the girl's back.
It's sort of weird that she feels like she sees more of the kid than she does of Rachel.
And she really doesn't know how to look Puck in the eye when banging his ex just became even more of a possibility.
They talk for a bit about their work for the day, and she says she feels like they're cutting a whole record or something, and he just shrugs his shoulders. It seems like something's up with him today, but she doesn't want to ask what it is, not with his kid in the room. He probably wouldn't tell her anyway.
She's in the booth and she closes her eyes for most of the time she's singing, because Lyla distracts her. The kid dances along to the music as she sits on the sofa, and plays with the toys she's pulling out of a little purple backpack.
In the afternoon, when Santana's voice needs a rest and Puck thinks he can start putting things together with what they've got, Santana notices that Lyla's eyes are drooping and she's getting grumpy. Puck looks like he wants to tear his hair out - something's seriously up with him - so Santana says, "Dude, I can like, watch her, or whatever."
He doesn't question whether or not she knows what she's doing, so it's nice that she won't have to lie and say yes or something.
"I'm sleepy," Lyla says after Santana's helped the girl tidy up her things, at Puck's request.
"Yeah?" Lyla just nods and blinks those ridiculous cartoon eyes at Santana. "Okay. Lie down, then." She grabs the hoodie Puck took off earlier and drapes it over his daughter's body, and Lyla looks so tiny and cute curled up on the couch that Santana sort of has to smile. "You can go to sleep if you want to."
"Not without a song."
"What?"
"I need a song to sleep."
Oh, Christ, of course the kid wants a lullaby. Santana doesn't even know any lullabies. But she can't deny this kid something that's gonna help her sleep if she's tired, so she comes up with something she thinks might qualify. She checks over her shoulder to make sure Puck's still got his headphones on, because for some reason, she really doesn't want him to hear this.
She sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star because it's simple and she can do it quietly.
And Lyla smiles and yawns and says, "That's my mommy's favourite," like it's some kind of secret.
Santana doesn't even know what to say to that, so she just pushes the kid's dark hair off her face and watches her eyes shut.
... ... ...
Okay, but seriously. What did Rachel mean by 'the last woman' she dated? It's not even the gay part that has Santana confused. That part, she's whatever about. It's not entirely surprising, because there was flirting that she knows now actually was flirting. She can't write that off as just Rachel's friendly personality. She never really wanted to, but it was like, a self-preservation thing or whatever.
But 'the last woman I dated' makes it sound like Santana is the current woman Rachel's dating, which is like...
Well, if they're dating, she wants to be let in on that, 'cause she wants all the shit that comes along with it. Like kissing and sex, mostly.
And Rachel's been calling all the shots, so far, and that's mostly because Santana hasn't wanted to push too hard to make this something it isn't. When she wasn't sure of Rachel's sexuality, even before Blaine warned her of how hard a friendship would be if she had feelings, she was aware of that. It'd feel really fucking unfair to spend a shitload of time with someone and know it was never going to happen. Now that it feels like she might have at least some kind of shot, she's not playing by fucked up rules, she's going to play by her own.
Which, typically, include dirty messages and picking up the fucking phone once in a while.
Rachel picks up on the second ring and sounds fucking terrible and Santana's like, really scared that something's wrong.
"You okay?"
Rachel sort of groans miserably, and then goes, "I'm horribly sick. Noah has Lyla because I'm..." She pauses to cough a while, then apologizes for it.
Santana kind of feels really bad for her, actually. "Well, do you need anything?" she asks without really thinking. She's as good with sick people as she is with elderly people. Which is about a hundred times worse than she is with small children, so. "I can get you drugs or whatever, if you need them."
She doesn't honestly think Rachel is going to tell her that she could use some things, and does Santana have a pen? But that's how she ends up in the pharmacy about two blocks from Rachel's place with a basket full of cold and flu remedies. Not to mention the bag she has from the bodega where she bought some fruit and juice and crackers and whatever that might settle Rachel's stomach.
She's sort of concerned, okay?
Rachel buzzes her up and that's when Santana realizes she's never seen the inside of this apartment before. Then she feels like an idiot for only realizing it now. Or for thinking it's even worth noting. Because seriously, it's just an apartment, and it's one this woman shares with her kid, and like, Rachel is sick, so it's not like anything is happening today anyway. Santana doesn't want this cold, and she can't afford to get it and be out of work for however long it takes her to kick it.
Shit. Maybe she should have picked up a face mask of some sort.
Rachel answers the door with a blanket wrapped around her body. Her hair's in a messy ponytail and her nose is all red. She's obviously not wearing makeup, but her lips are super dry and like...
Well, Santana's a jerk for thinking it, but this is not a good look.
She's not enough of a moron to say that.
"Let's get you some drugs, yeah?"
Rachel laughs miserably, then starts coughing. She follows Rachel through to the living room of this super nice apartment, and sees that the kitchen is kind of open to the living space, and there's a dining room off to the side. Santana, if she had less tact, would ask what the rent is on a place like this. Her own apartment is nothing to scoff at, but damn. She doesn't have marble countertops and a fucking solarium, you know?
The living room is untidy, which she can tell bugs Rachel. There're tissues in a wastebasket next to the sofa, and some talk show is on Rachel's big ass flat screen (her entertainment center is the shit), but there are toys scattered around on the floor and it's obvious Rachel just doesn't have the energy to pick them up.
Santana turns to go to the kitchen, but Rachel says, "You don't have to..."
Santana gently pushes Rachel back towards the couch and gives her a look. "Just chill, okay? My bedside manner is pretty much less than non-existent, but I can make you tea or whatever."
Rachel gives her this soft little look and then nods her head and sits her ass down, so. Point: Santana.
The kitchen is hyper-organized so things are really easy to find, and a few minutes later, she goes back into the living room and hands Rachel her cup of tea.
The way she sees it, this is her chance to prove she's not some irresponsible bitch woman who just wants Rachel because she's hot. Maybe that's how it started out, but she sort of cares about the woman now, as evidenced by the fact that she just made her tea and is spending her day off tending to the chick's illness or whatever.
She starts with the toys, goes over and starts dropping them into the pine chest that's obviously a toy box.
"Santana," Rachel croaks out.
"It's fine," she says from her place on her knees. "Seriously. I can tidy up a bit for you, since I know you're about two seconds from crying about it."
Rachel laughs pathetically and finally nods her head.
Santana spends over an hour at Rachel's place before she starts thinking too much about what the chick said the last time they talked, and like. Fuck. She wouldn't do this if they weren't sort of dating. Christ, she normally wouldn't do this for a woman she was dating. Obviously she and Rachel haven't made anything official, and until she said that thing last time Santana had no clue Rachel was even interested in women. This relationship is fucked up and she wants some answers.
She sits on the coffee table and Rachel just looks at her.
"So, um. That thing you said about dating women." She clears her throat because it's dry and whatever, suddenly. "That's like, a thing you do?"
Rachel sputters and coughs and her eyes go wide, and okay, Santana probably could have approached that a little more delicately. "I'm sorry?"
"I didn't really get a big 'I'm a lesbian' vibe from you, but then..."
Rachel sort of smiles and rubs her cheek against her pillow, then sniffles. "You really didn't assume...We've been..."
Santana rolls her eyes. "We've been hanging out with your kid, mostly. The one you had with a dude."
"That's true."
"Right, so."
Rachel sighs, coughs, and fuck. Santana doesn't like sick people. "I'm bisexual."
Santana blinks. "Okay."
"I've known since I was 11 and wanted to kiss Salma Hayek."
Okay, well. She can't help smirking, and sort of blinks slower than usual. "So. You have a type, then." Rachel just stares. "Hot ass latinas."
Rachel rolls her eyes. "Apparently I didn't make it obvious that I'm interested in you."
Fuck. Santana's so fucking in to Rachel it's stupid, and hearing that Rachel likes her back is like, the best thing to happen to her in a long time. She really wishes Rachel wasn't sick as fuck, because she'd be joining her on that couch right now and acting on all these things she has been talking herself out of since pretty much the first time they met.
"How interested?"
"Don't ask me that when I feel this unattractive." Santana would argue with that, but there's red puffiness all around Rachel's eyes, and that knot in her hair's gonna take a fistful of conditioner to work out.
"Does Puck know?"
"That I'm interested in you?"
Santana rolls her eyes. God. She's going to blame the slowness on the fact that Rachel's medicated. "That you're bi."
"Of course he knows. He was one of the first people I told." Santana fucking hates herself for wondering if Puck ever like, let Rachel go off and do her own thing, you know? Also for wondering if they ever shared in that fun together. "And before you ask, because I think you're about to." Rachel pauses to cough, which makes Santana grimace. "I'm not going to give you my entire sexual history, because we are so not there yet."
Santana sort of has to smile at that, and god, she feels this weird sort of calmness flowing through her. It definitely comes from knowing that she doesn't have to work so hard to figure shit out. Rachel likes her, and there's chemistry, and something's going to happen. Anticipating it isn't the same as worrying about it. Because seriously, how shitty would it have been if Rachel never reciprocated any of this attraction or, okay fine, feelings? Now she doesn't have to think about that, so she's not going to. They like each other, and once Rachel's not like, leaking from the nose and feeling miserable, they're going to do something about it.
"I'm actually slightly mortified that you're seeing me like this," Rachel admits, laughing quietly. "But I couldn't pass up the offer of help right now."
Santana grins a little. So what? She feels good for making Rachel feel better. Doing things for others is nice sometimes, okay?
"Whatever. We all get sick."
"Speaking of, you should go," Rachel says, and like. What? "I don't want you to catch this. Your whole livelihood depends on you not sounding horrible."
Santana can't resist. "I couldn't sound bad if I tried," she says, and Rachel does the laughing/coughing thing again. "Will you call me if you need something, though?"
Rachel nods, but they both know she's lying. Santana's not going to mention it.
She feels sort of bad just leaving Rachel there alone, but she's a grown woman and she'll be all right.
She feels fucking stupid for not setting up a date or something, though. She totally should have done that.
... ... ...
"So," Puck says to her as she sprinkles cinnamon on her vanilla latté, "you took care of my girl when she was sick."
Santana glares at him. "She's not your girl."
"Yeah, she is," and he sounds serious, so she doesn't argue again.
Shit. She hopes he's not still in love with Rachel or something. She can see how that woman might be hard to get over, you know?
"Whatever. She was miserable and I didn't want her to..."
"Just admit that you're in to her," he laughs.
The only thing that makes this less awkward is that they're not actually working together anymore. They finished up the project and now they're just hanging out. He's got some time to kill and he asked her what she was up to, and they met for coffee. It's kind of nice, honestly. As much as she loves Blaine and her friendship with him, it's cool to hang out with other people, too. It's never been a point of contention between them, either. They each have separate friends the other doesn't know (or know and doesn't care about) and it's fine. She can see Blaine being either ridiculously attracted to Puck, or completely repulsed by him. She doesn't really want to witness either.
"Is that so crazy? She's fucking gorgeous."
"It's not crazy. She's just like...She's my ex." Santana knows that, but doesn't butt in to tell him that. "She's my kid's mom."
She narrows her eyes. "Is this you warning me not to hurt her?"
He shrugs his shoulder and sips his coffee. "It's me telling you that you can't just fuck around with her." She just stares at him from across the table. "She's got...I mean, Lyla's…mine."
"I know that," she says, and she's being sincere, so she hopes he notices that. "I'm not trying to do anything shady. Christ, I haven't even kissed her yet. If I only wanted sex, I wouldn't still be around."
There's a tiny smirk playing on his lips, like he knows something she doesn't. Say, for instance, how Rachel looks when she comes.
Ugh.
"Fair point," he says. "Just like, be cool with my kid, and don't hurt either of them, and then I won't have to murder you."
Santana rolls her eyes, but honestly, she kind of likes that he's so protective of his family. And even she can admit that Rachel is part of that. Would she rather the girl she's trying to get with not be friends with him? Sure, but this world isn't perfect, and sometimes you just have to deal with it.
... ... ...
She bumps into Rachel at the grocery store. Fuck. What is it about this place? Lyla's with her, but she's distracted by all the different kinds of apples, and Rachel tells her to go ahead and pick six of them to buy. Lyla looks fucking thrilled to be able to do this. Kids are hilarious, you know?
"So, you're better?" Santana hasn't actually seen Rachel since that day at her apartment. They've been texting and Rachel's said she was still just getting over the tail end of her cold.
"I feel fine," Rachel says, smiling as she glances over at Lyla, who's shaking apples a few feet away. Santana sort of has to laugh at that, because why is the kid shaking an apple in each of her hands? It's cute, though. "How are you? I'm so glad you didn't get sick, too."
"I'm good." Why is this awkward? This shouldn't be awkward. "So, um. We should go on a date."
Rachel looks super amused by this. "We should?"
"Yeah. Duh."
"Did you just say duh?" Rachel giggles, taking the apple from Lyla when the girl brings it over.
"Never mind. I don't wanna take you out after all."
Rachel smiles a bit, blinks a few times. "Liar."
Is she fucking blushing? Santana feels like she's blushing. "When are you free?"
Rachel shrugs, smiles this fucking ridiculously hot smile. "I can be free whenever."
Santana slides her tongue along her bottom lip and blinks slowly.
Okay.
... ... ...
Rachel's surprisingly strong, which Santana learns when the woman shoves her against the wall just inside the door to Santana's apartment. She's attempting to kick it shut, but she's off balance and Rachel's kissing her, and it's like, really fucking difficult to focus on anything but how hot this is.
They didn't even make it to dinner.
The plan was to meet up for a drink, then go to this restaurant Santana's heard is awesome. And no, she didn't like, proposition Rachel or anything. They were just sitting at the bar, and while Rachel was asking questions about Santana's family, she was also playing with Santana's fingers and looking hot as fuck.
Basically, Santana had asked, "Are you hungry?" as she set some money on the table for their drinks.
"No, and if you don't at least kiss me within the next 15 minutes, I'm going to go insane."
So yeah. They ended up making out in the cab, and on the way up the elevator, and down the hall, and now Rachel's hands are pulling at the bottom of Santana's skirt. It's weird that she's the one in the skirt and Rachel's the one in jeans, but she also doesn't care about clothes because it's not like they're staying on for long anyway. It's pretty obvious that this is going exactly where Santana wanted it to. And she's more than okay with letting Rachel take control and treat her like this. Santana likes her orgasms to happen before giving to her partner. It started like that in college because more than once she was left high and dry. It's like an insurance policy or something.
Anyway, Rachel's fingers push aside Santana's panties, and she groans upon finding Santana wet, which...What did she expect?
"Don't fuck me against the wall," Santana manages, though it's hard to like, stop this when Rachel's circling her clit like that. "My bed."
When they get to her room, she pulls at Rachel's shirt, and then her skirt's being pushed to the floor, and once she's down to just her panties, Rachel presses her fingers against Santana's stomach and Santana gets the hint and lies back on her bed, lays her head against the pillows. She watches Rachel step out of her jeans so she's wearing only a green bra and matching panties, and fuck, she did not expect this tonight, but judging by the matching fucking lingerie, Rachel did.
"I haven't been with someone in far too long," Rachel says, nips at Santana's lips and slides her thigh so it's...
"Christ, baby. No signs of rust."
Santana means it to be a compliment. Rachel just laughs.
"Your body is making me crazy," Rachel says as her hand covers Santana's breast. "God, you're amazing."
Okay, this is all well and good, but if there aren't fingers or lips between her thighs really fucking soon, Santana's going to get bitchy. (Not her fault. It's just what happens when she gets really keyed up.)
She's just bout to say this, but then Rachel's kneeing her legs apart, plucking at her nipple and moving down the bed, and she makes a filthy comment on the state of Santana's panties that she honestly didn't think the girl had in her.
She loves that she can't predict what's going to happen next. She has an idea, obviously, and fuck it. She stops thinking at all when Rachel's finally gotten her naked and puts her mouth where Santana wants it to be.
And obviously she returns the favour, though she just uses her fingers because Rachel's kissing her and Santana selfishly doesn't want that to stop. Whatever.
Rachel sounds fucking amazing when she comes, FYI.
Then after they've caught their breath, when Rachel's still lying on top of Santana, she goes, "Now I'm a little hungry," and it's so fucking cute that it throws Santana for a bit of a loop.
"I'll order us something." Santana sort of gently pushes Rachel off her and gets up, but fuck, leaving a hot as fuck naked lady in her bed isn't the easiest thing she's done today. "Don't move." Rachel smiles and fixes her hair (for whatever good that'll do; Santana kind of did a number on it with her hands earlier) and bends her knees, then crosses her legs and Santana can see... "Don't fucking move."
She calls for Thai from this place a couple blocks away and only pulls on a shirt because she's going to have to answer the door when the food arrives.
They're sitting on her bed with some music playing, and Rachel's fingers are working the chopsticks like she was fucking born in Thailand (Rachel tells her that's offensive, but she's failing to see how). It's actually really nice to just chill like this.
Then Rachel goes, "Do you mind if I stay the night?" and actually wants to know, and it's really easy to agree. Not that she wanted Rachel to go anywhere anyway.
Santana accidentally drops a noodle onto Rachel's bare thigh and like, well, she's kind of got to clean that up with her mouth, right?
... ... ...
They go on another date that's actually a date this time. Puck can't watch Lyla because he's working with some pretty big name, so their friend Mike is playing babysitter and Rachel has to pick Lyla up after dinner. As much as Santana wants to fuck Rachel again, it's probably a good thing that they can't actually do that tonight. She knows Rachel pretty well, but she wants to know her better, and she won't have to wonder all night how the date's going to end, because she already knows.
As they're walking to the corner where they're going to have to part ways so Rachel can get Lyla and Santana can go home alone, Rachel slips her fingers between Santana's. She doesn't even mind, actually. Rachel's hands are soft and she's not like, making a big show of the fact that they're together.
"What are you doing Sunday?" Rachel asks, and Santana just shrugs. "I'm taking Lyla to this old theater in Williamsburg. They're showing Beauty And The Beast and it's one of only a few Disney movies I don't think is horribly damaging."
There are so many questions Santana wants to ask about that, but they don't have time.
"Um. Yeah. I could be down for that."
"Great! We'll pick you up around noon."
"Cool." She gives it a couple seconds and then can't help herself. "What Disney movies do you think are damaging?"
Rachel lets out this little squeak like she can't believe Santana doesn't just know, and then riffs off a list that starts with Snow White and ends with...Well, whatever. Santana doesn't listen to the whole thing.
"So what does that leave?" she laughs.
"Beauty And The Beast, The Lion King, Mulan. Aladdin, occasionally."
"But wait. Like, The Little Mermaid, though? That's all about a girl with a pretty voice," Santana says, because she actually finds this interesting.
Rachel turns to her with a deadly serious look on her face. "Which she gives up for a boy who she doesn't even know! It's so shallow and demeaning, and I don't want my daughter thinking she has to sacrifice parts of..."
Santana cuts her off with a kiss, because fuck, how could she not?
"You're fucking awesome," she murmurs against Rachel's ear as she hugs her tightly right there on the street.
Rachel laughs the slightest bit, says, "Thank you," and okay, it's kind of hard to let her go because it's barely 8:00 and Santana's thinking there's so much they could do before the night is really over.
... ... ...
Rachel has to go to the bathroom before the movie starts, and after asking six fucking times and Lyla telling her over and over that no, she doesn't have to go, Rachel gets up and says, "Be right back," and like, just leaves Santana alone with this tiny human being who's staring at her and kicking her legs out because she's so little that her feet don't touch the ground in the movie theater.
"Do you remember my daddy?"
Santana sort of smiles. "Yeah."
Lyla looks at her pensively, then nods. "Good. He remembers you too."
Okay, she has to laugh. This kid is so fucking random. "Cool." Then Lyla just stares at her for a few moments and Santana gets creeped out. "Are you excited for the movie?"
"Uh huh. I saw it at Mommy's before, but not this big."
"Yeah, this is bigger."
"Belle's my favourite," Lyla says, and grabs onto Santana's arm. It's so fucking hard not to smile at this little person. "I have a yellow dress."
"Do you?" Lyla nods. "Is it puffy like Belle's?"
"No!" Lyla giggles, as if this is the funniest question of all time. "It's just regular."
"I bet it's still pretty, though."
"It's really pretty. I'll show you. Can you come over? I can show you so many things!"
Oh, my god. Santana feels like she's been punched in the heart, because fuck. How do you not fall in love with something like this? This little girl is like, precious or something, and she just wants to squeeze her cheeks.
"We'll see what your mommy says about that, okay?" Santana says, trying for diplomacy, and it seems to work because Lyla starts talking about how she doesn't like the drinks you can get here with the bubbles in them because they tickle her mouth.
The movie's, you know, the same as it was when it came out a million years ago, but it's fun. Lyla loves it (she totally has to pee in the middle of the movie and Rachel rolls her eyes and gets up to take her) and giggles at the funny bits and holds Rachel's hand for the scary bits. She doesn't know the words to the songs or anything, but she sits with rapt attention when anyone's singing.
As they're leaving, Rachel holds Lyla's hand because the theater was surprisingly packed for this thing and obviously she doesn't want Lyla getting lost in the shuffle. But then when they get out onto the sidewalk Lyla starts pulling her hand away from Rachel's, which causes a bit of a thing.
"Lyla," Rachel says in this scolding tone that makes the girl stop and just look up at her mother. "There are too many people."
"I know. I wanna hold Tana's hand instead."
Rachel looks momentarily hurt, or stunned, and Santana doesn't know what the fuck to do. Obviously the kid isn't like, picking her over her mother in some weird game of playing favourites. Santana's the shiny new person who talks to her and makes her giggle and...
"Okay," Rachel says after a moment.
"I don't..." Santana's cut off by Lyla slipping her tiny hand into hers, and Rachel just smiles a bit. She leans in so Lyla won't hear, and says to Rachel, "You can have the other one, if you want."
Rachel gives her a really cute look and shakes her head, and like, okay. She doesn't want Lyla to know yet. It's cool. Santana can be patient. Or at least wait until she and Rachel have some type of conversation on what this is that they're doing.
... ... ...
Rachel walks through the doors of the bar where they agreed to meet looking really fucking good and smiling when she spots Santana sitting alone in this booth. She walks over and drops her huge ass bag down across from Santana, then slips into the booth so they're sitting hip to hip.
Okay.
"Hi," Rachel says, and leans in for a kiss.
"Hi." Yeah, one's not enough, so Santana holds the front of Rachel's shirt at her stomach and gets another. "You look hot."
Rachel scoffs and steals a sip of Santana's scotch. "I look exhausted."
"No."
She gets another kiss for that, too. The waitress comes by and Rachel orders 'whatever she's having' and looks all fucking cute doing it, too, and then she just sort of smiles at Santana and it's god, how is Rachel everything all at once?
"Lyla says hi."
"You told her?"
Rachel shrugs. "I told her I was going to see you tonight, yeah." She looks amused or something. Santana wants to ignore that. "I didn't tell her I plan on bringing you back to my apartment and letting you have your way with me."
She moans. How fucking embarrassing is that? She fucking moans at just a few little words that aren't even honestly all that dirty. And it's so not like her to not have anything to say in response to something like that, but she can't honestly think of anything. So she just stares at Rachel until the woman leans in and kisses her, and it's intense enough that when they pull apart, they see that Rachel's drink is on the table and neither of them noticed that the waitress even came back.
So.
"Um. How was your day?"
Rachel laughs a bit. "That's how you follow up a kiss like that?"
"No. I usually follow up a kiss like that by taking my fucking clothes off, but we're in a bar, for some reason."
"We need to make it through another actual date before we sleep together again," Rachel says as though it's a fact.
"Is that some kind of rule of yours?"
Rachel sips her scotch - looks fucking sexy doing it, too - and says, "No. I just really like watching you squirm."
She smirks. Okay, she can't let someone just get away with this shit and not come back with something.
"Then you should move your hand a little higher up my thigh, baby," she murmurs, slipping her hand into Rachel's hair and breathing out against her lips.
Rachel swallows, then asks, "How quickly can you finish that drink?"
Santana doesn't even laugh, just brings her glass to her lips, drains its contents and waits for Rachel to do the same before pushing her fine ass out of the booth.
... ... ...
"Oh, shit."
Santana's eyes blink open slowly, and she looks around, then buries her face against Rachel's like, billion thread count sheets. They're dark grey and match the room and like...
Why is she alone?
"What'd you do?" she mumbles when Rachel comes limping into the room.
"Good morning," Rachel says all sultry and shit, and then goes, "I stepped on a Barrel of Monkeys monkey."
Smiling a bit, Santana turns over onto her side and, no, doesn't care if the sheet is covering her. (Hint: it's not) "I loved that game."
Rachel laughs a bit and slips back into bed, immediately leaning in to kiss a path down Santana's neck. "I'm fine, by the way."
"Uh huh." Rachel laughs a bit and they sort of end up maneuvering so that Santana's on her back and Rachel's propped up on her elbow, leaning over her. "Why did you get up?"
"I put some coffee on."
Santana grins and pushes her hand up under the stupid shirt Rachel's wearing. "I like you," she says, and it's meant to be kind of a joke, but it doesn't come out like one and Rachel just breathes out Santana's name when she kneads her breast gently in her hand.
Honestly, if she thought sex with Rachel was good the first time (or two), it's even better now. It's like they're getting to know each other better or something. At least that's how it feels when Rachel capitalizes on the fact that Santana loves it when someone rubs her thighs as they're going down on her (shut up; it feels good) and when she learns that Rachel really likes to be teased like insanity before you do anything that'll even get close to making her come. The work up is slow and then she comes really fast when you give her what she needs. It's fucking sexy.
"What time does Lyla get back?" she asks, because fuck, no, she doesn't want to be here when the kid is.
"Tomorrow," Rachel says, and it's all quiet, sort of like she wants that to be an invitation for Santana to stay until then.
So Santana goes, "Okay," and just keeps tugging her fingers through Rachel's hair like she has been for the past 20 minutes.
Pairing: Santana/Rachel
Summary: She gives Santana one last look and heads for the checkout line, and Santana doesn't honestly know why a straight woman with a kid just looked at her like that, but fuck. She doesn't really care, either.
Word Count: 24,000 (total)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
"So, you sang a song for her."
"It was a request."
"And you shared a cab back to your neighbourhood, and then..."
Santana rolls her eyes. "Okay, stop making it sound like it's messed up that I didn't have sex with her. It's not."
Blaine slips his arm through hers and she fucking hates it when he does that, but whatever. He just bought her a latté, so it's fine. For now. "It's not messed up, but you have to admit that it doesn't normally take you this long to bed your conquests."
"Oh, my god," she groans, glaring. "I don't have conquests."
"You have...targets. Or..."
"You're being a dick. I'm not even that bad. Not all of us can be like, hotshot musical writers who have boys falling over themselves to get in line for a ride."
"Santana," he says, and god, he'll be a good parent with that tone of voice. "I wasn't saying...I didn't mean anything by it."
Yeah, see, he knows her. She lashes out when she feels vulnerable or hurt or whatever. It's annoying that he like, calls her on it and apologizes for shit, 'cause she'd like to be a bitch and tell him to fuck himself. But it's Blaine, and he's her person.
"You actually like her," he says, and doesn't sound all shocked or whatever, or like she's stupid for doing it.
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Santana lets out a short laugh, sips her coffee and shakes her head. "I have no fucking idea."
That's the truth, too. She really doesn't know what it is about this particular woman that's got her acting like a fucking lovestruck teenager. That's probably the most annoying part. If she knew why she's sort of making an effort with Rachel, it wouldn't be so bad. If Rachel had legitimately shown interest in her, or if they'd like, had sex and this was the aftermath or whatever. It's not like she's foreign to feelings, but she's not exactly used to them, either.
"I'm just worried," Blaine says seriously, "that if you become friends with her and you want something she can't give you, you'll be really hurt." He slings his arm around her shoulder, then, and kisses the side of her head. "I don't like seeing you hurt."
She says, "Stop being a girl," but what she really means is, "Thank you."
He gets that. That's why he's her best friend.
... ... ...
"Hi, Tana!" Santana smiles and waves at the little girl. She has no clue why the kid's calling her that, but she doesn't care, and like, it's hard to be upset with someone that size calling you whatever. Especially when the little thing is wearing a red rubber rain coat and matching boots.
"Hey, kid." And like, Rachel's wearing a Burberry trench and holding a big black umbrella and looking really fucking sexy, to be honest. "Hey."
They agreed to meet up and go to the Museum of Natural History because there's a special kids' exhibit happening. And by 'they agreed', Santana means that Rachel called and asked if Santana was free on Thursday and she said yes before listening to what they'd actually be doing. But whatever, because this will be fun anyway.
And like, she feels like a bit of a slob in her Yankees cap, Columbia jacket, and jeans. No one seems to be complaining, though.
Santana suggests a cab, but Rachel isn't having any part of that. She says something about not wanting Lyla to get too comfortable with things that aren't necessary, so they wait for the bus and she stands behind the girl as she goes up the steps so she won't fall backwards. Lyla thanks the bus driver and the guy tips his hat to her, which is nice of him to do. The ride isn't very long, and there are no seats, so Rachel holds onto the bar with one hand, and Lyla with the other. Santana sort of stands in such a way that if Lyla gets jostled around at least she'll hit either Rachel's legs, or Santana's. She doesn't have any parental instincts whatsoever, but she figures making sure a kid doesn't go flying around a bus is pretty basic. And Rachel still says she would have rather walked, since they're so close anyway, but it's seriously pouring out and she doesn't want any of them catching a cold.
They check their coats when they get there, because they're all wet and it'd suck to have to carry them around, and Santana takes off her cap, checks it with her coat, and runs her fingers through her hair. Rachel's watching pretty closely.
"What?"
"Nothing," Rachel laughs, straightening out her top. "You just have really great hair."
Santana looks at Rachel's head of like, shampoo-commercial-quality hair. "Thanks," she says, and then reaches over and tugs at a lock of Rachel's. The woman just rolls her eyes and takes Lyla's hand again, but whatever. Santana made her point.
The kids' thing is kind of cool, and very hands on, and it seems to be a lot about high tech something or another, so each kid is given a little cuff bracelet that has like, some kind of GPS on it or something, and they can't leave the room this thing is in without an alarm going off. The parent of each kid is given some sort of tracking device. Basically it just means the kids can do whatever the hell they want in here without running away or anything.
Some genius set up a coffee bar near the check in desk to the exhibit, and there are a few benches and tables around, too. She buys Rachel a tea, and they sit there together and watch Lyla go around the room checking out all the little stations. She tilts her head up and looks at the museum workers explaining everything to the kids, and then jumps right in, like, dusting for dinosaur bones using some like, future-aged hologram something or another.
"I sort of love rainy days," Rachel says, just as Lyla looks over at them just to...Santana doesn't know. Make sure they're still there? Rachel waves her fingers a little, which makes Lyla smile and turn back to what she was doing.
"Yeah? You know your kid is super fucking cute, right?" Maybe it's not exactly on topic, but shit. Lyla's the cutest one in here.
Rachel just laughs and blows on her tea. "Thank you."
"Sorry. Yeah. Rainy days?" Rachel nods a bit. Her heel hits Santana's thigh when she crosses her legs and Santana realizes how close together they're sitting on this bench. "Why?"
"I don't know. They're kind of romantic." Santana just looks at her. They're in a roomful of kids. "Not like...I don't mean it like that. There's just this mood about them."
Santana says, "Okay," and Rachel rolls her eyes. "I usually like to stay inside. I dunno. I don't like getting soaking wet for no reason."
Rachel clears her throat and Santana has to wonder what the fuck that's about. "Lyla was really excited to see you."
Oh, shit. "Yeah?"
"Mhmm." Rachel laughs a little. "I tried all morning to get her to say your name properly, but she insists on calling you Tana. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Santana says. Her throat feels weird. "I don't hate it."
Rachel turns to her a little more. "Are you sure?" she asks, and Santana furrows her brow. "You just...You don't seem entirely comfortable around children."
"I've just never really been around them before." Oh, god. Is it that obvious? That is probably a deal breaker to someone who has a kid. "But Lyla's awesome, and I don't...I'm not like, clueless with them, I don't think."
"No," Rachel says, laughing softly. She sets her hand on Santana's shoulder, so, um. "No, I wasn't implying...I just don't want you to feel like you have to pretend to be okay with it if you aren't."
Santana doesn't know how to say this without sounding like she's just saying it. But she goes, "I'm okay with it," and sort of smiles, and Rachel seems to accept that.
A little boy who looks younger than Lyla falls down near her, and she helps him up and asks if he's okay, and like, Santana's heart is seriously fucked, because she thinks that kid is the sweetest thing ever.
"She's more you than Puck, huh?"
Rachel just laughs. "Oh, there's a fair bit of each of us in her. If it had been she who'd fallen, she'd be looking around for someone to blame and possibly hit. That's all Noah."
"I can't see her hitting anyone," Santana says, laughing. The look Rachel gives her is hilarious. "She's so cute, though."
"Until she loses her temper."
Santana sips her coffee and smirks. "I imagine you can go off, too."
With narrowed eyes, Rachel asks, "What has Noah told you?" Santana just laughs and insists he hasn't told her anything, which is the truth. "My temper isn't nearly as short as his, thank you very much."
Santana kind of hates how natural their conversation always seems to be. Like, it's so easy to like Rachel when they have balanced conversations that aren't just one of them talking about themselves and the other left just sitting there listening. Even that night when Rachel was opening up about her relationship with Puck and whatever, it wasn't just her talking.
The subject changes to something else, and then when they're talking about Rachel's work and stuff, Santana says something about her ex-girlfriend being a chorus girl in Cabaret. She realizes Rachel doesn't seem at all surprised to learn that Santana's interested in women, even though she's almost positive she's never said anything about her sexuality before. Maybe she's just obvious or something. Or maybe Rachel's got better instincts than Santana gave her credit for. Or maybe she talked to someone and found out.
It really doesn't matter. She shouldn't be acting like it does. It's obviously not an issue.
They've been hanging out for about 40 minutes when Lyla comes over and very cutely says, "Mommy, I'm done now," and holds up her wrist like she wants that chunky bracelet thing off her arm. Rachel kisses her daughter's nose and they stand up so one of the museum staff can take the bracelet off.
Santana's at least a little worried that that'll be it for their day, but Rachel suggests they do the rest of the museum, and Lyla is all for that. Apparently she likes the animals, so they walk around and Lyla wants to be lifted up so she can see everything better, which is okay, really, only Rachel's arms get tired after about the tenth time Lyla asks to be hoisted up.
Rachel turns to her and goes, "Do you mind?" and Santana doesn't know how to say that she sort of does.
'Cause like, what if she drops the kid? Or if she hurts her or holds her in the wrong spot and like, bruises her by accident or something?
Whatever. She can do this. Lyla's looking up at her with her eyes all wide and waiting, and Santana hooks her hands under the kids arms just like Rachel's been doing, and sort of just lifts the kid up and then drapes her arm across Lyla's thighs to hold her against her stomach.
"I can see even more, 'cause Tana isn't so short as you, Mommy!"
Honestly? Santana feels kind of awesome. Even more so when she feels Rachel's hand on her back.
So yeah. She sort of ends up being the one to do the rest of the lifting for the day, but she doesn't really mind.
By the time they leave, it's nearing dinner time, and she says they can stop somewhere for a bite if Rachel wants, but Lyla's tired and Rachel would like to get her home before she gets cranky. It's not raining anymore, so the streets are just wet, and the walk shouldn't be too long at all. Rachel gives Lyla a hilariously epic speech about not jumping in puddles, and like, even Santana knows that one's not going to stick.
Rachel isn't watching when she jumps in the first one, and Santana just tries not to laugh because she probably should say something about it. Especially since Lyla saw her looking. Oh well. You're only four once, you know?
Rachel's building is on the way to Santana's from here, so she drops them off, sort of, and Lyla says goodbye and hugs Santana's legs, which is just...Ugh. Rachel laughs at the way Lyla runs up the steps to tell the doorman all about her day.
"Um, hey," Santana says before Rachel can say goodbye. "Look, I know I'm not great with kids or whatever, but I really...I'm..."
"Santana." Rachel smiles and touches Santana's arm. "You're better than you think you are." Okay, that makes her feel better. "And you're already better than the last woman I dated."
Lyla calls to her and Rachel says a quick goodbye and starts up the steps to her building, and...
What the fuck?
... ... ...
"She's a lesbian!"
Okay, granted, if she'd known Blaine had friends over, she wouldn't have walked into his apartment and announced that, but it's cool. She knows Gregory and Daniel anyway.
Blaine just laughs. "Excellent news."
"Fuckin' A, right?" She grabs a couple of the little finger foods Blaine's got on platters on the table. She really didn't mean to interrupt. "Greg. Danny."
She kisses the top of Blaine's head and leaves almost as quickly as she came. Blaine won't even be mad.
And she's happy, so whatever.
... ... ...
She's still reeling from Rachel's confession or whatever, a couple days later, when she walks into the studio and Lyla is there with Puck. She's sitting on his lap and talking to him pretty excitedly about something, and when she sees Santana, she goes, "Daddy, I need to be down," and he laughs and sets her on her feet. She hugs Santana again, only this time, Santana lets her hands fall to the girl's back.
It's sort of weird that she feels like she sees more of the kid than she does of Rachel.
And she really doesn't know how to look Puck in the eye when banging his ex just became even more of a possibility.
They talk for a bit about their work for the day, and she says she feels like they're cutting a whole record or something, and he just shrugs his shoulders. It seems like something's up with him today, but she doesn't want to ask what it is, not with his kid in the room. He probably wouldn't tell her anyway.
She's in the booth and she closes her eyes for most of the time she's singing, because Lyla distracts her. The kid dances along to the music as she sits on the sofa, and plays with the toys she's pulling out of a little purple backpack.
In the afternoon, when Santana's voice needs a rest and Puck thinks he can start putting things together with what they've got, Santana notices that Lyla's eyes are drooping and she's getting grumpy. Puck looks like he wants to tear his hair out - something's seriously up with him - so Santana says, "Dude, I can like, watch her, or whatever."
He doesn't question whether or not she knows what she's doing, so it's nice that she won't have to lie and say yes or something.
"I'm sleepy," Lyla says after Santana's helped the girl tidy up her things, at Puck's request.
"Yeah?" Lyla just nods and blinks those ridiculous cartoon eyes at Santana. "Okay. Lie down, then." She grabs the hoodie Puck took off earlier and drapes it over his daughter's body, and Lyla looks so tiny and cute curled up on the couch that Santana sort of has to smile. "You can go to sleep if you want to."
"Not without a song."
"What?"
"I need a song to sleep."
Oh, Christ, of course the kid wants a lullaby. Santana doesn't even know any lullabies. But she can't deny this kid something that's gonna help her sleep if she's tired, so she comes up with something she thinks might qualify. She checks over her shoulder to make sure Puck's still got his headphones on, because for some reason, she really doesn't want him to hear this.
She sings Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star because it's simple and she can do it quietly.
And Lyla smiles and yawns and says, "That's my mommy's favourite," like it's some kind of secret.
Santana doesn't even know what to say to that, so she just pushes the kid's dark hair off her face and watches her eyes shut.
... ... ...
Okay, but seriously. What did Rachel mean by 'the last woman' she dated? It's not even the gay part that has Santana confused. That part, she's whatever about. It's not entirely surprising, because there was flirting that she knows now actually was flirting. She can't write that off as just Rachel's friendly personality. She never really wanted to, but it was like, a self-preservation thing or whatever.
But 'the last woman I dated' makes it sound like Santana is the current woman Rachel's dating, which is like...
Well, if they're dating, she wants to be let in on that, 'cause she wants all the shit that comes along with it. Like kissing and sex, mostly.
And Rachel's been calling all the shots, so far, and that's mostly because Santana hasn't wanted to push too hard to make this something it isn't. When she wasn't sure of Rachel's sexuality, even before Blaine warned her of how hard a friendship would be if she had feelings, she was aware of that. It'd feel really fucking unfair to spend a shitload of time with someone and know it was never going to happen. Now that it feels like she might have at least some kind of shot, she's not playing by fucked up rules, she's going to play by her own.
Which, typically, include dirty messages and picking up the fucking phone once in a while.
Rachel picks up on the second ring and sounds fucking terrible and Santana's like, really scared that something's wrong.
"You okay?"
Rachel sort of groans miserably, and then goes, "I'm horribly sick. Noah has Lyla because I'm..." She pauses to cough a while, then apologizes for it.
Santana kind of feels really bad for her, actually. "Well, do you need anything?" she asks without really thinking. She's as good with sick people as she is with elderly people. Which is about a hundred times worse than she is with small children, so. "I can get you drugs or whatever, if you need them."
She doesn't honestly think Rachel is going to tell her that she could use some things, and does Santana have a pen? But that's how she ends up in the pharmacy about two blocks from Rachel's place with a basket full of cold and flu remedies. Not to mention the bag she has from the bodega where she bought some fruit and juice and crackers and whatever that might settle Rachel's stomach.
She's sort of concerned, okay?
Rachel buzzes her up and that's when Santana realizes she's never seen the inside of this apartment before. Then she feels like an idiot for only realizing it now. Or for thinking it's even worth noting. Because seriously, it's just an apartment, and it's one this woman shares with her kid, and like, Rachel is sick, so it's not like anything is happening today anyway. Santana doesn't want this cold, and she can't afford to get it and be out of work for however long it takes her to kick it.
Shit. Maybe she should have picked up a face mask of some sort.
Rachel answers the door with a blanket wrapped around her body. Her hair's in a messy ponytail and her nose is all red. She's obviously not wearing makeup, but her lips are super dry and like...
Well, Santana's a jerk for thinking it, but this is not a good look.
She's not enough of a moron to say that.
"Let's get you some drugs, yeah?"
Rachel laughs miserably, then starts coughing. She follows Rachel through to the living room of this super nice apartment, and sees that the kitchen is kind of open to the living space, and there's a dining room off to the side. Santana, if she had less tact, would ask what the rent is on a place like this. Her own apartment is nothing to scoff at, but damn. She doesn't have marble countertops and a fucking solarium, you know?
The living room is untidy, which she can tell bugs Rachel. There're tissues in a wastebasket next to the sofa, and some talk show is on Rachel's big ass flat screen (her entertainment center is the shit), but there are toys scattered around on the floor and it's obvious Rachel just doesn't have the energy to pick them up.
Santana turns to go to the kitchen, but Rachel says, "You don't have to..."
Santana gently pushes Rachel back towards the couch and gives her a look. "Just chill, okay? My bedside manner is pretty much less than non-existent, but I can make you tea or whatever."
Rachel gives her this soft little look and then nods her head and sits her ass down, so. Point: Santana.
The kitchen is hyper-organized so things are really easy to find, and a few minutes later, she goes back into the living room and hands Rachel her cup of tea.
The way she sees it, this is her chance to prove she's not some irresponsible bitch woman who just wants Rachel because she's hot. Maybe that's how it started out, but she sort of cares about the woman now, as evidenced by the fact that she just made her tea and is spending her day off tending to the chick's illness or whatever.
She starts with the toys, goes over and starts dropping them into the pine chest that's obviously a toy box.
"Santana," Rachel croaks out.
"It's fine," she says from her place on her knees. "Seriously. I can tidy up a bit for you, since I know you're about two seconds from crying about it."
Rachel laughs pathetically and finally nods her head.
Santana spends over an hour at Rachel's place before she starts thinking too much about what the chick said the last time they talked, and like. Fuck. She wouldn't do this if they weren't sort of dating. Christ, she normally wouldn't do this for a woman she was dating. Obviously she and Rachel haven't made anything official, and until she said that thing last time Santana had no clue Rachel was even interested in women. This relationship is fucked up and she wants some answers.
She sits on the coffee table and Rachel just looks at her.
"So, um. That thing you said about dating women." She clears her throat because it's dry and whatever, suddenly. "That's like, a thing you do?"
Rachel sputters and coughs and her eyes go wide, and okay, Santana probably could have approached that a little more delicately. "I'm sorry?"
"I didn't really get a big 'I'm a lesbian' vibe from you, but then..."
Rachel sort of smiles and rubs her cheek against her pillow, then sniffles. "You really didn't assume...We've been..."
Santana rolls her eyes. "We've been hanging out with your kid, mostly. The one you had with a dude."
"That's true."
"Right, so."
Rachel sighs, coughs, and fuck. Santana doesn't like sick people. "I'm bisexual."
Santana blinks. "Okay."
"I've known since I was 11 and wanted to kiss Salma Hayek."
Okay, well. She can't help smirking, and sort of blinks slower than usual. "So. You have a type, then." Rachel just stares. "Hot ass latinas."
Rachel rolls her eyes. "Apparently I didn't make it obvious that I'm interested in you."
Fuck. Santana's so fucking in to Rachel it's stupid, and hearing that Rachel likes her back is like, the best thing to happen to her in a long time. She really wishes Rachel wasn't sick as fuck, because she'd be joining her on that couch right now and acting on all these things she has been talking herself out of since pretty much the first time they met.
"How interested?"
"Don't ask me that when I feel this unattractive." Santana would argue with that, but there's red puffiness all around Rachel's eyes, and that knot in her hair's gonna take a fistful of conditioner to work out.
"Does Puck know?"
"That I'm interested in you?"
Santana rolls her eyes. God. She's going to blame the slowness on the fact that Rachel's medicated. "That you're bi."
"Of course he knows. He was one of the first people I told." Santana fucking hates herself for wondering if Puck ever like, let Rachel go off and do her own thing, you know? Also for wondering if they ever shared in that fun together. "And before you ask, because I think you're about to." Rachel pauses to cough, which makes Santana grimace. "I'm not going to give you my entire sexual history, because we are so not there yet."
Santana sort of has to smile at that, and god, she feels this weird sort of calmness flowing through her. It definitely comes from knowing that she doesn't have to work so hard to figure shit out. Rachel likes her, and there's chemistry, and something's going to happen. Anticipating it isn't the same as worrying about it. Because seriously, how shitty would it have been if Rachel never reciprocated any of this attraction or, okay fine, feelings? Now she doesn't have to think about that, so she's not going to. They like each other, and once Rachel's not like, leaking from the nose and feeling miserable, they're going to do something about it.
"I'm actually slightly mortified that you're seeing me like this," Rachel admits, laughing quietly. "But I couldn't pass up the offer of help right now."
Santana grins a little. So what? She feels good for making Rachel feel better. Doing things for others is nice sometimes, okay?
"Whatever. We all get sick."
"Speaking of, you should go," Rachel says, and like. What? "I don't want you to catch this. Your whole livelihood depends on you not sounding horrible."
Santana can't resist. "I couldn't sound bad if I tried," she says, and Rachel does the laughing/coughing thing again. "Will you call me if you need something, though?"
Rachel nods, but they both know she's lying. Santana's not going to mention it.
She feels sort of bad just leaving Rachel there alone, but she's a grown woman and she'll be all right.
She feels fucking stupid for not setting up a date or something, though. She totally should have done that.
... ... ...
"So," Puck says to her as she sprinkles cinnamon on her vanilla latté, "you took care of my girl when she was sick."
Santana glares at him. "She's not your girl."
"Yeah, she is," and he sounds serious, so she doesn't argue again.
Shit. She hopes he's not still in love with Rachel or something. She can see how that woman might be hard to get over, you know?
"Whatever. She was miserable and I didn't want her to..."
"Just admit that you're in to her," he laughs.
The only thing that makes this less awkward is that they're not actually working together anymore. They finished up the project and now they're just hanging out. He's got some time to kill and he asked her what she was up to, and they met for coffee. It's kind of nice, honestly. As much as she loves Blaine and her friendship with him, it's cool to hang out with other people, too. It's never been a point of contention between them, either. They each have separate friends the other doesn't know (or know and doesn't care about) and it's fine. She can see Blaine being either ridiculously attracted to Puck, or completely repulsed by him. She doesn't really want to witness either.
"Is that so crazy? She's fucking gorgeous."
"It's not crazy. She's just like...She's my ex." Santana knows that, but doesn't butt in to tell him that. "She's my kid's mom."
She narrows her eyes. "Is this you warning me not to hurt her?"
He shrugs his shoulder and sips his coffee. "It's me telling you that you can't just fuck around with her." She just stares at him from across the table. "She's got...I mean, Lyla's…mine."
"I know that," she says, and she's being sincere, so she hopes he notices that. "I'm not trying to do anything shady. Christ, I haven't even kissed her yet. If I only wanted sex, I wouldn't still be around."
There's a tiny smirk playing on his lips, like he knows something she doesn't. Say, for instance, how Rachel looks when she comes.
Ugh.
"Fair point," he says. "Just like, be cool with my kid, and don't hurt either of them, and then I won't have to murder you."
Santana rolls her eyes, but honestly, she kind of likes that he's so protective of his family. And even she can admit that Rachel is part of that. Would she rather the girl she's trying to get with not be friends with him? Sure, but this world isn't perfect, and sometimes you just have to deal with it.
... ... ...
She bumps into Rachel at the grocery store. Fuck. What is it about this place? Lyla's with her, but she's distracted by all the different kinds of apples, and Rachel tells her to go ahead and pick six of them to buy. Lyla looks fucking thrilled to be able to do this. Kids are hilarious, you know?
"So, you're better?" Santana hasn't actually seen Rachel since that day at her apartment. They've been texting and Rachel's said she was still just getting over the tail end of her cold.
"I feel fine," Rachel says, smiling as she glances over at Lyla, who's shaking apples a few feet away. Santana sort of has to laugh at that, because why is the kid shaking an apple in each of her hands? It's cute, though. "How are you? I'm so glad you didn't get sick, too."
"I'm good." Why is this awkward? This shouldn't be awkward. "So, um. We should go on a date."
Rachel looks super amused by this. "We should?"
"Yeah. Duh."
"Did you just say duh?" Rachel giggles, taking the apple from Lyla when the girl brings it over.
"Never mind. I don't wanna take you out after all."
Rachel smiles a bit, blinks a few times. "Liar."
Is she fucking blushing? Santana feels like she's blushing. "When are you free?"
Rachel shrugs, smiles this fucking ridiculously hot smile. "I can be free whenever."
Santana slides her tongue along her bottom lip and blinks slowly.
Okay.
... ... ...
Rachel's surprisingly strong, which Santana learns when the woman shoves her against the wall just inside the door to Santana's apartment. She's attempting to kick it shut, but she's off balance and Rachel's kissing her, and it's like, really fucking difficult to focus on anything but how hot this is.
They didn't even make it to dinner.
The plan was to meet up for a drink, then go to this restaurant Santana's heard is awesome. And no, she didn't like, proposition Rachel or anything. They were just sitting at the bar, and while Rachel was asking questions about Santana's family, she was also playing with Santana's fingers and looking hot as fuck.
Basically, Santana had asked, "Are you hungry?" as she set some money on the table for their drinks.
"No, and if you don't at least kiss me within the next 15 minutes, I'm going to go insane."
So yeah. They ended up making out in the cab, and on the way up the elevator, and down the hall, and now Rachel's hands are pulling at the bottom of Santana's skirt. It's weird that she's the one in the skirt and Rachel's the one in jeans, but she also doesn't care about clothes because it's not like they're staying on for long anyway. It's pretty obvious that this is going exactly where Santana wanted it to. And she's more than okay with letting Rachel take control and treat her like this. Santana likes her orgasms to happen before giving to her partner. It started like that in college because more than once she was left high and dry. It's like an insurance policy or something.
Anyway, Rachel's fingers push aside Santana's panties, and she groans upon finding Santana wet, which...What did she expect?
"Don't fuck me against the wall," Santana manages, though it's hard to like, stop this when Rachel's circling her clit like that. "My bed."
When they get to her room, she pulls at Rachel's shirt, and then her skirt's being pushed to the floor, and once she's down to just her panties, Rachel presses her fingers against Santana's stomach and Santana gets the hint and lies back on her bed, lays her head against the pillows. She watches Rachel step out of her jeans so she's wearing only a green bra and matching panties, and fuck, she did not expect this tonight, but judging by the matching fucking lingerie, Rachel did.
"I haven't been with someone in far too long," Rachel says, nips at Santana's lips and slides her thigh so it's...
"Christ, baby. No signs of rust."
Santana means it to be a compliment. Rachel just laughs.
"Your body is making me crazy," Rachel says as her hand covers Santana's breast. "God, you're amazing."
Okay, this is all well and good, but if there aren't fingers or lips between her thighs really fucking soon, Santana's going to get bitchy. (Not her fault. It's just what happens when she gets really keyed up.)
She's just bout to say this, but then Rachel's kneeing her legs apart, plucking at her nipple and moving down the bed, and she makes a filthy comment on the state of Santana's panties that she honestly didn't think the girl had in her.
She loves that she can't predict what's going to happen next. She has an idea, obviously, and fuck it. She stops thinking at all when Rachel's finally gotten her naked and puts her mouth where Santana wants it to be.
And obviously she returns the favour, though she just uses her fingers because Rachel's kissing her and Santana selfishly doesn't want that to stop. Whatever.
Rachel sounds fucking amazing when she comes, FYI.
Then after they've caught their breath, when Rachel's still lying on top of Santana, she goes, "Now I'm a little hungry," and it's so fucking cute that it throws Santana for a bit of a loop.
"I'll order us something." Santana sort of gently pushes Rachel off her and gets up, but fuck, leaving a hot as fuck naked lady in her bed isn't the easiest thing she's done today. "Don't move." Rachel smiles and fixes her hair (for whatever good that'll do; Santana kind of did a number on it with her hands earlier) and bends her knees, then crosses her legs and Santana can see... "Don't fucking move."
She calls for Thai from this place a couple blocks away and only pulls on a shirt because she's going to have to answer the door when the food arrives.
They're sitting on her bed with some music playing, and Rachel's fingers are working the chopsticks like she was fucking born in Thailand (Rachel tells her that's offensive, but she's failing to see how). It's actually really nice to just chill like this.
Then Rachel goes, "Do you mind if I stay the night?" and actually wants to know, and it's really easy to agree. Not that she wanted Rachel to go anywhere anyway.
Santana accidentally drops a noodle onto Rachel's bare thigh and like, well, she's kind of got to clean that up with her mouth, right?
... ... ...
They go on another date that's actually a date this time. Puck can't watch Lyla because he's working with some pretty big name, so their friend Mike is playing babysitter and Rachel has to pick Lyla up after dinner. As much as Santana wants to fuck Rachel again, it's probably a good thing that they can't actually do that tonight. She knows Rachel pretty well, but she wants to know her better, and she won't have to wonder all night how the date's going to end, because she already knows.
As they're walking to the corner where they're going to have to part ways so Rachel can get Lyla and Santana can go home alone, Rachel slips her fingers between Santana's. She doesn't even mind, actually. Rachel's hands are soft and she's not like, making a big show of the fact that they're together.
"What are you doing Sunday?" Rachel asks, and Santana just shrugs. "I'm taking Lyla to this old theater in Williamsburg. They're showing Beauty And The Beast and it's one of only a few Disney movies I don't think is horribly damaging."
There are so many questions Santana wants to ask about that, but they don't have time.
"Um. Yeah. I could be down for that."
"Great! We'll pick you up around noon."
"Cool." She gives it a couple seconds and then can't help herself. "What Disney movies do you think are damaging?"
Rachel lets out this little squeak like she can't believe Santana doesn't just know, and then riffs off a list that starts with Snow White and ends with...Well, whatever. Santana doesn't listen to the whole thing.
"So what does that leave?" she laughs.
"Beauty And The Beast, The Lion King, Mulan. Aladdin, occasionally."
"But wait. Like, The Little Mermaid, though? That's all about a girl with a pretty voice," Santana says, because she actually finds this interesting.
Rachel turns to her with a deadly serious look on her face. "Which she gives up for a boy who she doesn't even know! It's so shallow and demeaning, and I don't want my daughter thinking she has to sacrifice parts of..."
Santana cuts her off with a kiss, because fuck, how could she not?
"You're fucking awesome," she murmurs against Rachel's ear as she hugs her tightly right there on the street.
Rachel laughs the slightest bit, says, "Thank you," and okay, it's kind of hard to let her go because it's barely 8:00 and Santana's thinking there's so much they could do before the night is really over.
... ... ...
Rachel has to go to the bathroom before the movie starts, and after asking six fucking times and Lyla telling her over and over that no, she doesn't have to go, Rachel gets up and says, "Be right back," and like, just leaves Santana alone with this tiny human being who's staring at her and kicking her legs out because she's so little that her feet don't touch the ground in the movie theater.
"Do you remember my daddy?"
Santana sort of smiles. "Yeah."
Lyla looks at her pensively, then nods. "Good. He remembers you too."
Okay, she has to laugh. This kid is so fucking random. "Cool." Then Lyla just stares at her for a few moments and Santana gets creeped out. "Are you excited for the movie?"
"Uh huh. I saw it at Mommy's before, but not this big."
"Yeah, this is bigger."
"Belle's my favourite," Lyla says, and grabs onto Santana's arm. It's so fucking hard not to smile at this little person. "I have a yellow dress."
"Do you?" Lyla nods. "Is it puffy like Belle's?"
"No!" Lyla giggles, as if this is the funniest question of all time. "It's just regular."
"I bet it's still pretty, though."
"It's really pretty. I'll show you. Can you come over? I can show you so many things!"
Oh, my god. Santana feels like she's been punched in the heart, because fuck. How do you not fall in love with something like this? This little girl is like, precious or something, and she just wants to squeeze her cheeks.
"We'll see what your mommy says about that, okay?" Santana says, trying for diplomacy, and it seems to work because Lyla starts talking about how she doesn't like the drinks you can get here with the bubbles in them because they tickle her mouth.
The movie's, you know, the same as it was when it came out a million years ago, but it's fun. Lyla loves it (she totally has to pee in the middle of the movie and Rachel rolls her eyes and gets up to take her) and giggles at the funny bits and holds Rachel's hand for the scary bits. She doesn't know the words to the songs or anything, but she sits with rapt attention when anyone's singing.
As they're leaving, Rachel holds Lyla's hand because the theater was surprisingly packed for this thing and obviously she doesn't want Lyla getting lost in the shuffle. But then when they get out onto the sidewalk Lyla starts pulling her hand away from Rachel's, which causes a bit of a thing.
"Lyla," Rachel says in this scolding tone that makes the girl stop and just look up at her mother. "There are too many people."
"I know. I wanna hold Tana's hand instead."
Rachel looks momentarily hurt, or stunned, and Santana doesn't know what the fuck to do. Obviously the kid isn't like, picking her over her mother in some weird game of playing favourites. Santana's the shiny new person who talks to her and makes her giggle and...
"Okay," Rachel says after a moment.
"I don't..." Santana's cut off by Lyla slipping her tiny hand into hers, and Rachel just smiles a bit. She leans in so Lyla won't hear, and says to Rachel, "You can have the other one, if you want."
Rachel gives her a really cute look and shakes her head, and like, okay. She doesn't want Lyla to know yet. It's cool. Santana can be patient. Or at least wait until she and Rachel have some type of conversation on what this is that they're doing.
... ... ...
Rachel walks through the doors of the bar where they agreed to meet looking really fucking good and smiling when she spots Santana sitting alone in this booth. She walks over and drops her huge ass bag down across from Santana, then slips into the booth so they're sitting hip to hip.
Okay.
"Hi," Rachel says, and leans in for a kiss.
"Hi." Yeah, one's not enough, so Santana holds the front of Rachel's shirt at her stomach and gets another. "You look hot."
Rachel scoffs and steals a sip of Santana's scotch. "I look exhausted."
"No."
She gets another kiss for that, too. The waitress comes by and Rachel orders 'whatever she's having' and looks all fucking cute doing it, too, and then she just sort of smiles at Santana and it's god, how is Rachel everything all at once?
"Lyla says hi."
"You told her?"
Rachel shrugs. "I told her I was going to see you tonight, yeah." She looks amused or something. Santana wants to ignore that. "I didn't tell her I plan on bringing you back to my apartment and letting you have your way with me."
She moans. How fucking embarrassing is that? She fucking moans at just a few little words that aren't even honestly all that dirty. And it's so not like her to not have anything to say in response to something like that, but she can't honestly think of anything. So she just stares at Rachel until the woman leans in and kisses her, and it's intense enough that when they pull apart, they see that Rachel's drink is on the table and neither of them noticed that the waitress even came back.
So.
"Um. How was your day?"
Rachel laughs a bit. "That's how you follow up a kiss like that?"
"No. I usually follow up a kiss like that by taking my fucking clothes off, but we're in a bar, for some reason."
"We need to make it through another actual date before we sleep together again," Rachel says as though it's a fact.
"Is that some kind of rule of yours?"
Rachel sips her scotch - looks fucking sexy doing it, too - and says, "No. I just really like watching you squirm."
She smirks. Okay, she can't let someone just get away with this shit and not come back with something.
"Then you should move your hand a little higher up my thigh, baby," she murmurs, slipping her hand into Rachel's hair and breathing out against her lips.
Rachel swallows, then asks, "How quickly can you finish that drink?"
Santana doesn't even laugh, just brings her glass to her lips, drains its contents and waits for Rachel to do the same before pushing her fine ass out of the booth.
... ... ...
"Oh, shit."
Santana's eyes blink open slowly, and she looks around, then buries her face against Rachel's like, billion thread count sheets. They're dark grey and match the room and like...
Why is she alone?
"What'd you do?" she mumbles when Rachel comes limping into the room.
"Good morning," Rachel says all sultry and shit, and then goes, "I stepped on a Barrel of Monkeys monkey."
Smiling a bit, Santana turns over onto her side and, no, doesn't care if the sheet is covering her. (Hint: it's not) "I loved that game."
Rachel laughs a bit and slips back into bed, immediately leaning in to kiss a path down Santana's neck. "I'm fine, by the way."
"Uh huh." Rachel laughs a bit and they sort of end up maneuvering so that Santana's on her back and Rachel's propped up on her elbow, leaning over her. "Why did you get up?"
"I put some coffee on."
Santana grins and pushes her hand up under the stupid shirt Rachel's wearing. "I like you," she says, and it's meant to be kind of a joke, but it doesn't come out like one and Rachel just breathes out Santana's name when she kneads her breast gently in her hand.
Honestly, if she thought sex with Rachel was good the first time (or two), it's even better now. It's like they're getting to know each other better or something. At least that's how it feels when Rachel capitalizes on the fact that Santana loves it when someone rubs her thighs as they're going down on her (shut up; it feels good) and when she learns that Rachel really likes to be teased like insanity before you do anything that'll even get close to making her come. The work up is slow and then she comes really fast when you give her what she needs. It's fucking sexy.
"What time does Lyla get back?" she asks, because fuck, no, she doesn't want to be here when the kid is.
"Tomorrow," Rachel says, and it's all quiet, sort of like she wants that to be an invitation for Santana to stay until then.
So Santana goes, "Okay," and just keeps tugging her fingers through Rachel's hair like she has been for the past 20 minutes.