Dust Off Your Highest Hopes [2/2]
Title: Dust Off Your Highest Hopes
Chapter: 2/2
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Summary: There's a staff meeting that's mandatory, and Finn knows it's to introduce the new teacher, so he doesn't complain about it as much as he normally would. He's seen her from behind four times and has yet to see her face. That's just plain weird.
Word Count: 21,500 (total)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Before classes start for a day, Finn's in his office doing a quick eval of the morning's practice. The kids all expressed that they don't miss Brandon in the lineup, but Finn still needs to fill the position with someone who can actually play it. He doesn't just want to shove anyone in there, or pick up someone from JV. Brandon is far from the most important player on the field, but he's one of their better defensive players and Finn needs a replacement. Fast. They have a game tomorrow.
Anyway, he's thinking about who to shuffle around and there's a knock at his door. It's open, but everyone always knocks anyway, which he actually appreciates. He doesn't like it when people just walk in on their own without being invited. It seems pretty rude.
But it's Rachel, standing there, and yeah, she could just walk in any time she wanted.
Especially wearing that cute dress and the gorgeous smile on her face.
She holds up a hanger that has his shirt on it, and he smiles at her and puts his pen down.
"Thanks again."
"Stop thanking me," he says, rolling his eyes. "Seriously. Totally not necessary." He watches her walk over, open his cupboard, and hang his shirt up for him. "How are you feeling?"
"I wish people would stop asking me how I'm feeling," she says, laughing lightly. She takes a seat across from his desk. He likes that she's this comfortable right now, with him. "It wasn't some serious injury. I just want to put it behind me."
"Okay."
"I saw the team practicing this morning when I pulled up."
"We suck."
"No, you don't," she says, and he wonders if she actually knows anything about football. And okay, they don't suck, but he's anxious. "You should use this as a motivational tool."
"Um."
"Ask them how they want to be viewed by others, in the face of adversity. Do they want to be seen as the team that collapses when one single player is out of the lineup, or do they want to face the challenge and rise above?"
Finn grins at her, raises his brow, and pushes his pen and paper towards her. "Can you write that down for me?" She laughs a bit. God, she's pretty. "That's actually a really good idea."
"I watch Friday Night Lights."
Finn laughs harder than he should, probably, but she's becoming one of the favourite parts of his day, and he doesn't know what the fuck to do with that, other than to just enjoy it.
She stands up, and he doesn't want her to go, but he knows she has to get to her classroom, too. He'd walk her, but he's in the gym first period today.
He really likes that dress. He hopes she doesn't see him staring.
(Like, she took her shirt off in front of him yesterday, and he's still got the memory of how her breasts looked in her flesh-coloured bra. Her body is so beautiful and it's hard not to just think about her.)
"Um. Would you..." She looks down, shakes her head a little, and her cheeks are pink when she looks up at him again, presses her fingers against the edge of his desk in front of her. "Would you still like to get that cup of coffee?"
He smiles like an idiot. He knows he does. "Yeah?"
"If you want to, I'd really like to."
Finn nods and watches her smile grown. "I want to."
She starts walking backwards towards his office door. Okay, yeah, he doesn't want her to go.
"Tonight at 7:00? That coffee shop on First?"
All he can say is, "Okay," and watch her go, and fuck yes, he's got a date.
And yeah, he's an idiot, because when he gets home he practically tears his closet apart looking for something to wear that's different from what she normally sees him in. Dumb, right? This date isn't a fucking fashion show, but he tries on like ten shirts and gets annoyed with himself. He'd call Santana for advice, but she'd make fun of him like crazy, and also, he doesn't think Rachel really wants anyone to know they're meeting outside of school hours. She seems kind of hesitant to acknowledge that there's even any chemistry between them at all, so he doubts she'd be cool with their coworkers knowing, even if it is just Santana.
He ends up in jeans and a black v-neck tee shirt, because fuck it. She's not going out with him because of what clothes he wears. That said, he is kind of hoping she's still wearing that dress.
He gets to the coffee shop early, which kind of sucks, because he wants to pay for her drink for her. It's like, the gentlemanly thing to do, right? He should have left his house later, but he got kind of anxious just sitting around and then couldn't handle waiting anymore.
He plays with his phone as he waits outside for her to show up, and when she gets out of her car a few minutes before 7:00, she's got on really casual jeans that look like she's worn them a hundred times, and a little blazer with a scarf, and her hair's in a ponytail. She looks really pretty.
"It's not very often someone beats me to an engagement," she says, smiling as she approaches. "I like to be a few minutes early. When did you get here?"
Shit. Now he's gonna look like a fucking dumbass for being too excited to see her or something. He doesn't want that.
"I, um, had some things to do, so I just came when I was done." Not a lie, right? He doesn't want to lie. The things he had to do were at his house, so it's just like, him leaving out that detail. Totally fine. "You look nice."
He holds the door open for her and smiles at the way she blushes as she thanks him. He feels like he's the one in high school right now.
Seriously? A girl like Rachel wouldn't have even looked at him in high school. She's so ambitious and pretty and talented, and he was like, some jock loser who tried to be a leader but really just ended up doing what everyone else did, because it was easier than taking a stand. He did join up to stop bullying in the school when he ended up with a step-brother who was getting tortured pretty hard. That's probably the best thing he did in high school, though. The football accomplishments really don't mean much. They did then, but they don't now.
Rachel probably wouldn't even have noticed him. She's like, a million times better than him. She was probably so like, crazy dedicated to school, determined to make good grades and everything, that she wouldn't notice the dumb jock who seemed to have everything handed to him. If she did notice, it would have been just because she thought he was pathetic.
This isn't high school, though, and they're equals. Sort of. He still thinks she's better than him.
She orders some decaf latté thing that sounds a little gross, if you ask him. Something about steamed milk just turns his stomach. She laughs when he tells her that, and says she can't drink coffee like he does, either, so they're even. He likes that.
She finds them a table and he follows her, thinking about how cute her butt looks in her jeans. He's pretty sure she catches him doing it, but she doesn't say anything about it, so maybe she doesn't mind.
"So," she says, hands curled around her paper cup, "tell me about yourself."
He blinks. This casual coffee date just got intense. "Uh. What do you want to know?"
She shrugs one shoulder. "Everything?"
Her cheeks flush afterward and he thinks she looks really fucking cute like that, actually, like, embarrassed about what she said. The idea that 'everything' was her first reaction to his question is kind of awesome actually.
He wants to know everything about her, too.
"Um. I was born here," he tells her, and she smiles like she's happy he's actually talking to her. "My dad was in the Army, and it was like, this big thing, or whatever. I guess he came back all messed up and died of an overdose. I don't know all the details."
"Oh, my god. That's awful," she says, and shit. Maybe he should have led with something happier.
"My mom's great, though." Yeah, he's pretty eager to change the subject. "She works at the bank. She's been there for like, 30 years. She raised me by herself until she married my step-dad." Rachel's smile is back. Thank god. "He runs the auto shop over on Poplar. Oh, and I have a step-brother. He lives in L.A., though."
"What does he do there?"
"He's a...I dunno. Some complicated thing to do with fashion on this TV show that kind of sucks."
Rachel laughs and it makes him feel like less of a jerk for not really know what Kurt does. Like, he loves the guy and everything, and he knows Kurt's really successful, but they kind of couldn't be more different if they tried.
"What else?"
She's just staring at him, and it's not freaking him out, really, but still. She's intense.
"Uh." Her brows go up questioningly. "You're making me nervous."
"I'm sorry!" she sort of laughs, leaning back in her chair. "I'm sorry. I've been told I'm too much sometimes."
"What? No, I didn't say that. I just...It's been a long time since I went on a date with a woman who didn't know everything about me already."
Rachel plays with her coffee cup and then looks up at him. "A date, huh?"
Fuck.
But like, this is a date, right? It's obvious that this is a date. They're two people who're interested in each other and they're meeting outside of work hours. It's a date.
"Yeah."
"I would have started talking first, but as you know, I tend to talk a lot, and I didn't want to be that annoying woman who spends the whole date talking about herself."
See? It's totally a date.
"You can talk all you want," he tells her, and takes a sip of his coffee. It's still kind of too hot, but he does a good job of hiding that.
She smiles, too, and if he has any say in things, this is not going to be their only date.
"When did you meet Noah?"
"Birth."
"Really?"
He shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah. We've always known each other."
Her eyes are still all wide. "So you've always been best friends?"
"Sort of. He knocked me down in like, first grade, because I was shorter than everyone else." At her disbelieving look, he chuckles. "It's true. I punched him in the face and we both got suspended."
"That's not a very good story," she laughs.
"I taught him how to throw punches, though, and he taught me how to throw a football, 'cause he had an uncle who didn't suck, and he knew how."
"So you played football together."
Finn shrugs. "We kind of did everything together."
Rachel smiles and puts her chin on her hand.
She basically has him tell her all about high school, and playing football, and college. She's totally shocked when he gets to the part about how Santana and Puck actually got married in Vegas when they went on a random four day trip after college. She giggles when he says he was kind of glad to A: Not have to go to a wedding, and B: Not have to like, beat it into them that they should just get married, 'cause they're perfect for each other. She says something about wanting to see the two of them actually together, and Finn smiles. He could arrange that, if she's serious.
He learns about her, too, like about her dads and about growing up where she did. He asks if she has a Syracuse Orange shirt and she holds up two fingers and looks around like she's scared some angry OSU fan is going to come after her or something. It's really cute. She says she didn't have a lot of friends growing up, but the ones she had were amazing and she still tries to keep in touch with them. She talks about living in New York City and then about her old school in Connecticut.
And then someone comes by and says, "Just so you know, we close in five minutes," and Finn can't believe they've sat here talking for like three hours.
He tosses their cups out and she digs her keys out of her purse. He walks her to her car and feels really, really nervous, because god, he wants to kiss her, but he also doesn't want their first kiss to be next to her car in a mostly empty parking lot when she's shivering in the cold.
"This was fun."
She laughs a little and tilts her head as she looks at him. "I talked about myself too much."
"No you didn't." He reaches out and touches her arm over her jacket. "I like listening to you talk."
Her cheeks flush pink and she ducks her head so her hair falls in her face. God, she's pretty.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks in a small voice, then hits the button to unlock her car door.
"Yeah, okay." He nods a bit and she opens her car door, but god, he can't just let her leave on that note, so he puts his hand on the car door so she can't close it yet, and leans down so he can see her sitting in the driver's seat. "I think we should do this again."
She fiddles with her keys and won't look him in the eye. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"I'm asking you out on a second date," he tells her, grinning, and she gives him this really beautiful smile
"You're sweet." She turns the key in the ignition and buckles her seat belt. "Goodnight, Finn."
Wait.
"Is that a yes?"
She looks up at him through her lashes. "It's not a no."
Dammit, he should have kissed her.
... ... ...
Being completely professional at work now that she knows so much about him and he knows so much about her is going to be difficult, she thinks. And then she thinks about his request for a second date, and her stomach does this thing it hasn't in years. She feels like a teenager, and hiding that at work might be difficult.
It's not, though. Granted, she sort of ignores him for part of the morning, but even so. When they see one another in the lounge at lunch, he just smiles at her from his table where he's eating with Artie and John, the baseball coach. She takes her seat with Santana and they talk about this student they have who is in need of help she's not willing to accept.
When she leaves the school at the end of the day and begins towards her car, she sees Finn running his football practice and smiles to herself as she hears him shouting at his players. It shouldn't be this attractive that he's so passionate, but it really is.
The most important thing, really, is making sure none of the students know what's going on between them, if, in fact, anything is going on. One date hardly constitutes a relationship. Neither does two dates. Until they're anything even remotely serious, she really wants to make sure they keep this quiet.
Which, of course, works well for two days, and then Santana pulls her aside in the parking lot before school and says, "Well, you're dating my best friend and I have to like, use torture tactics to get it out of him? What the fuck, babe?"
Rachel laughs, but she's really more nervous than she wants to let on. "We're not dating. We went on a date. Sort of. I didn't even...It was just coffee."
"D'you kiss?"
"No!"
Santana grins, bumps Rachel's hip with her own. "D'you want to?"
"Stop it." Rachel rolls her eyes for good measure, but god, she really, really wouldn't mind kissing him.
See, that's the other thing she's been thinking about. Finn could have kissed her. He really could have. She almost invited him to, but then stopped herself when she thought he might just do it anyway. She's not going to say she's disappointed that he didn't, but it would have been nice. She can't imagine a world in which it wouldn't be nice to be kissed by a man that gorgeous and sweet and kind.
"You totally wanted it," Santana chuckles.
"Please, please, don't say anything to him," Rachel requests seriously, and Santana just stares as they stop outside the doors to the school. "I don't need him seeing me as some kind of desperate..."
"Rach, the only thing that'd make you desperate would be if you like, jumped on him. Naked. And even then, he'd probably like it." Her cheeks feel like they're on fire. "Oh, my god. You act like you've never been with a guy before." There's a pause, and Santana looks at her, wide-eyed. "You have, right?"
"Good heavens, Santana, yes," Rachel snaps. Santana shrugs as though that was a totally valid question, which it wasn't. "I just really enjoy his company, and I'm not willing to rush into anything and ruin it."
"Fucking him wouldn't ruin it, but whatever." Santana pulls the door open and Rachel walks through. She really likes this woman, and she'd consider Santana a friend, but she's uncomfortable right now. "Take your time. Finn's sort of lame with this shit, so he probably doesn't have the nerve to even kiss you yet anyway."
Honestly? Rachel is sort of glad to hear it.
Well, not completely. She's not adverse to kissing him, innocently. With no roaming hands or fooling around or anything else that would or could be considered moving too fast. If, for instance, he were to kiss her goodnight at the end of their as-yet-unscheduled second date, she would be more than okay with that.
She gets through the rest of the day without any more inappropriate conversations with Santana, which, honestly, she wasn't sure would happen. They sit together, with Finn and Artie, at lunch, and Artie is talking about this concert he's going to in Cleveland on the weekend. Rachel's listening, she is, but Finn keeps stealing looks at her, and giving her this really adorable smile when he gets caught. She also notices Santana rolling her eyes at them, but the woman keeps her mouth shut, thank goodness. The thing with Santana, Rachel can tell, is that she may run her mouth and say inappropriate things when they're talking just the two of them, but she has enough tact not to do the same thing around other people. She likes that.
But she's also sneaky, because after they learn Artie will be out of town Saturday night, she goes, "Hey, Puck and I are having some people over, if you guys want to come," and Rachel knows this was a spur of the moment decision and that Santana is attempting to play matchmaker.
Finn shrugs, apparently oblivious. "Sure."
And he looks at Rachel expectantly and makes it impossible for her to say no. Not that she was planning on it anyway, but even so.
Does this count as a second date?
She thinks it's rather casual - and that it'll likely be just the four of them - so when Saturday comes around, after she's done her laundry and housework and grocery shopping, she showers and pulls on a pair of jeans she loves and never wears to work, and a black and white stripped sweater with a camisole underneath. She wears it off the shoulder because it's sort of stylish that way, and straightens her hair.
Finn's car is in the driveway when she shows up at Santana's house. It's one of two cars there. She knew this wasn't 'some people', it was just Finn and Rachel.
Noah answers the door and smiles, asks how she's doing and takes her coat from her. He's got more manners than one would assume. Or maybe his wife forces them on him. That wouldn't surprise her.
"Hey," Finn says, after she's greeted Santana. A glass of wine is being poured for her, and Finn is nursing a bottle of beer slowly, it seems. God, he's cute. "Find the place okay?"
"Yes. Actually, I don't live all that far."
"Really?" She nods, and smiles, and that exhausts that conversation, and she really, really wishes she'd turned down this offer and just spent the evening with him instead.
She likes Santana and Noah a lot, and she most definitely wants to get to know them better, and maybe they thought this would be an easy environment for she and Finn to be in. There's no pressure, and there are now double the amount of conversations, or at least conversationalists, available. It should be easier, shouldn't it? She should be more comfortable with another couple around this early in the game.
She just wants to be alone with him, though. Not necessarily alone at either of their houses, or anything ridiculous like that, but alone at a restaurant where she can talk with him about things that matter.
She knows it would be very rude to ask him if he wanted to leave, so she's not going to, but she still sort of wants to.
It's all fine. She sits in a leather arm chair in the living room and sips her wine while the four of them talk. Finn is nearby with his ankle resting on his knee and his beer resting on his thigh. God, he's attractive. As he laughs and has some funny little conversation with Noah, Rachel still can't really believe that he's interested in her. What's so special about her that this wonderful, sweet, funny, kind-hearted, good-looking man wants to spend his time with her? She doesn't want to ask him. She's not stupid and she knows she's worthy of attention from the opposite sex, it's just that no one like Finn has ever even given her a second look.
"Oh, my god. Stare harder," Santana says, rolling her eyes.
Rachel feels her face flush automatically, and then...God.
"I'm not staring," she hisses, and looks at Finn, who's got a little colour on his cheeks, too. "I wasn't staring."
Noah is smirking. She doesn't know how two such similar people as he and Santana could ever possibly make a relationship work.
"Um," Finn says, and she wants to die, a little bit.
"Okay, this is like watching some TV show where the couple you want to get together takes for fucking ever to do it," Santana says, and Rachel resents the fact that Noah laughs.
It's probably that feeling that has her saying, "Well then maybe you shouldn't have interfered and practically invited yourself to be witness to our second date."
Santana just raises a brow. "Touché."
Rachel stands up and sets her wine glass on the coffee table, and yes, everyone's looking at her, and no, she does not feel as confident as she likely looks. She looks at Finn and says, "Would you like to get out of here?" and he nods, gives her a gorgeous smile, and says, "Yeah," like he's impressed with her or something.
She waits until they're outside and his hand is on her back before turning to him. "I've asked you out twice now, you know." What can she say? She's feeling bold. "I mean, if we're keeping score."
"Actually, I've asked you out twice, too. This whole thing just messed it all up." They're standing next to her car. She didn't think this through. His is parked in the driveway, too, and they'll either have to drive separately or come back here after they go do whatever it is they're going to do. "Do you wanna grab a drink somewhere else?"
She looks up at him. His hand is on her hip and she honestly doesn't think she's ever seen anyone look so sweet while also turning her on.
God, she's got it so bad for him.
"Please don't get the wrong impression," she says, though the fact that she definitely wants to sleep with him makes that statement null and void, "but I have some wine at my house, if you'd like."
"Sure," he says, and one of his dimples appears on his cheek, the way he's grinning at her. "I'll follow you?"
She just nods, because she's also trying to remember how messy her living room is (not very, because she's a very tidy person) and thinking he's quite a gentleman for offering to bring his own car and not operating on the assumption that he'll just stay over. Granted, she did just basically tell him she's not sleeping with him tonight, but even so. He likely would have done this anyway. Considering he blushes when she compliments him, she doesn't take him for the kind of man who thinks of women in terms of 'sure things'.
Part of her wonders what he'd do if she did proposition him.
She's not going to find out. (Not tonight, anyway.)
She really does live close to Santana and Noah's house. She's really only a handful of blocks and a couple right turns away. There's not much traffic in this residential area - and after living in cities for the past several years, she likes that - so it's easy for Finn to follow her. Why is it that when traveling in different cars is always the most nerve-wracking experience ever? Like, you're constantly worried that someone is going to pull out between you, or that one will get stopped at a red light after the lead car has advanced through.
She's thinking of the most ridiculous things so she doesn't focus on something absolutely preposterous, such as if the underwear she has on are cute enough, or if she even owns condoms right now.
She is not sleeping with him tonight. God, they haven't even kissed!
She waits for him at the base of the steps that lead up to her tiny little porch and her house's front door. She usually goes in the side through the garage, but that's because she doesn't usually have company with her.
"Sorry about the mess," she says as they step inside, because that is the thing you say to break the ice, she thinks.
She switches on the light and he scoffs, which makes her look at him. "This isn't messy."
That's all he says, though. She finds it a little comforting that he seems as nervous as she is.
Maybe she shouldn't have asked him here.
"You can make yourself comfortable here, or you're welcome to join me in the kitchen, if you like." He doesn't say anything, just follows her, and she is seriously starting to regret inviting him. It's too soon for this, and it's awkward. it's more awkward, in fact, than Santana setting them up the way she did. She turns around to find him there in her kitchen, looking around at her things. "I know it's not much, but it's what I could find on short notice."
"I like it," he tells her, and gives her a little smile before leaning against the counter next to where she's opening a bottle of red.
Then it's quiet again and she's trying to come up with conversation ideas and drawing complete blanks. It makes no sense whatsoever, since they spent three hours talking last time. Surely they haven't exhausted all topics or conversation and now have nothing.
"I'm sorry, is this terribly awkward?"
"It's not awkward, I'm just nervous," he says, sort of laughing, and she almost can't believe what she's hearing.
"You're nervous?"
"You make me nervous," he admits quietly. She just looks at him. "You're like, gorgeous and smart and...I really like you."
She's focusing on entirely the wrong thing, possibly, but she blinks and fiddles with the cork in her hand. "You think I'm gorgeous?"
He gives her this adorable smile she's seen only twice before, that she can remember, and asks, "Do you not?"
She blushes so hard she feels like her temperature is burning up. Their fingers touch when she passes him his glass of wine, and then he's setting his free hand on the small of her back and leaning down to kiss the apple of her cheek, and she swears her breathing stops for a moment.
"What was that?" she asks.
He shrugs his shoulder. "I wanted to."
She takes the glass from him again and sets it down, then slides her hands up onto his shoulders and leans up on her toes so she can kiss him. He still isn't close enough, but he's smart enough to lean down and let her do what she wants. And when her mouth touches his, his hands end up on her hips, pulling her closer, and he lets out this tiny sound that could be a moan. God, he's so...Well, tall, and after a little bit, her feet get sore and her neck hurts, so she pulls away and looks up at him. He's licking his lips as he looks at her, and god, she already wants to do that again.
"We should go to the living room."
"Yeah," he says quickly. "I mean, since...We should talk and drink wine."
He is totally nervous and she can't believe she missed it before.
She smiles at him and picks up their glasses. "Actually, you're just too tall to kiss while we're both standing."
He gets this look on his face she swears does things to her already out of control hormones.
And she does feel like one of the horny teenagers she teaches every day, because she spends the rest of her evening making out with Finn Hudson on her sofa, stealing sips of wine here and there until their glasses are empty.
When he says he really should go, it's when his lips are against her neck and she doesn't want him to stop.
He ends up leaving at nearly 2:00 in the morning, kissing her cheek at the door and reminding her of how they came to end up kissing to begin with.
(As she undresses for bed and realizes there's no way she'll be able to sleep when she's this aroused, she's wondering how many dates they have to go on before sleeping together is acceptable.)
... ... ...
"We kissed."
Santana stares and looks at him as if there should be more to the story. "Like, below the waist?"
"No," Finn says, and she rolls her eyes.
"That was a sure thing, dude. Did you even..."
"It wasn't a sure thing, first of all, and don't talk about her like that." Seriously. Rachel's not just some random woman he's trying to have sex with. "I really like her."
"I know you do. Which is why you should bang her," Santana says, and god, it's like she lives to embarrass him. They're in his office, too, and yeah, the door's closed, but still. This is a fucking high school. "Okay, look. When was the last time you actually gave a damn about a woman? Obviously you like her enough that you're gonna sleep with her eventually." She shrugs and he's just looking at her, because this makes no sense to him at all. "Why not just do it now and get it out of the way?"
"Do you even think before you talk?" he asks, and she rolls her eyes at him. The rings on her hand sparkling under the fluorescent light remind him that she doesn't totally suck at relationships, but she's also not the one trying to be in one with Rachel, and she just really doesn't need to give him pointers. "I really like her. I like her enough that I don't wanna sleep with her too fast and have her think that's all I want or something."
"But you do want it, right?" He glares. "Just checking! God. I wonder if she's been with a woman before, or if you'll be the first."
He stands up and walks to the door, puts his hand on the door knob. Sometimes she's funny, but sometimes she goes way too far and actually says things that either hurt him or piss him off. This happens to be kind of both.
"You're a real bitch sometimes," he says, and then pulls the door open. She looks like she knows he's actually being serious right now, and then she tilts her head. "Go."
"Finn, come on. I was just..."
"Seriously. You just insulted like, everything about me, so." He gestures to the door and she walks out (more like stomps, but whatever; he doesn't care) and he closes the door behind her.
He might run his first period gym class a little too hard, but he's in a shitty mood. He shouldn't take it out on the kids, and once he realizes what he's doing, he has them stop and take a five minute breather, and they all get sips of water from the fountains before he splits them up into teams for floor hockey.
In his second period class, Brandon mouths off at him after acting like an asshole to another kid, and Finn's never going to tolerate that, but it's even worse today. He sends the kid to Schue's office and then Brandon's parents are there and acting oblivious to everything that's been going on, even though they know their kid's a little asshole. Finn can't bite his tongue and ends up laying out all the reasons why he thinks Brandon should be expelled, and the parents are pissed, but Schue seems okay with it. (They've talked about Brandon more than once, and how he's a terrible kid to have in their school. He's a bully and he treats everyone, students and teachers alike, like crap, and Finn's so fucking sick of it.)
So yeah, by lunch, he really just wants to go home already, and he can't see anything turning this day around.
But then he walks into the teachers' lounge and sees Rachel sitting at a table by herself with an empty chair beside her, and this blouse on that he really thinks looks pretty on her, and she smiles when she sees him.
And things sort of start looking up.
"Hi," she says all cute and stuff when he sits down next to her. "I brought you...Well, I brought cookies, but I'll share, if you like."
God.
"I like cookies."
She gives him this little grin. "They're ginger molasses. I made them yesterday."
He just looks at her as he unwraps the sandwich he threw together before work this morning. "You bake?"
"A lot, actually," she says, nodding. "I really enjoy it."
He says, "I really enjoy you," without thinking, but does it quietly, and she lets out this little breath and takes a bite of her salad. "I had a really crappy morning."
"I heard." He just looks at her. "Well, Santana said you were in a mood." He scoffs. It's Santana's freaking fault, but whatever. "And then I saw you come out of the office earlier."
"Yeah. I was...I was kind of pissed."
"I noticed."
"I'm just so freaking sick of kids like Brandon Ryder getting away with murder and no one calling them on it." Rachel gives him this look that's sort of sympathetic, and he takes a bite of his sandwich so he stops saying things that come out in an angry voice.
"It's not very fair," she says.
"No, it's not. And kids like...like Kingsley and Laura do everything right and get no recognition for being good."
"Well," Rachel says, and dabs at her mouth with her napkin. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease, you know."
He chews his sandwich and wonders how she can calm him down with something as stupid as that. Like, honestly. She's pointing out the obvious and it doesn't make any difference. Things will continue to go on like this, with shitty students getting all the attention and good students getting nothing. But she's so sincere that he can't help but relax a bit. She's not saying it because it's a cliché and she can't think of anything else. He's pretty sure she's saying it because she knows it's true.
"What were you like in high school?" he asks, and she laughs out loud and then covers her mouth with her hand in a way that makes him smile.
"I was the girl you wouldn't have even noticed."
He rolls his eyes. "Come on. Seriously."
"Seriously," she says, laughing quietly. She snaps the lid back onto her salad container and reaches for her little Tupperware thing of raspberries. "I was a nerd, and I dressed strangely, and I wasn't very pretty."
"Okay, that's a lie."
"It is not!" she insists, eyes wide. "I was in show choir, and I wore ridiculous plaid skirts, and..."
"Not that. The not pretty thing. That's garbage," he says, and she blushes, and like. Fuck. He likes her so much. "I don't buy that."
"Well," she says, and tucks her hair behind her ear, plays with the cup of berries in front of her, "no one else thought I was pretty. In fact, they liked to tell me every day, multiple times a day, that I wasn't. It's almost impressive, how many ways they came up with to say it."
Shit.
Shit. That like, hurts his heart. He can't even picture her ever not being as gorgeous as she is, even if she did wear weird clothes. Like, fuck, he probably would have thought she was gorgeous even then. He hates that it hits him that maybe since he was friends with a bunch of dicks - well, people who were dicks at the time - he may have fallen into the pack of people who thought she was ugly and wouldn't have argued against that because he didn't want to lose his place at the top of the social ladder. He hates that.
But this isn't high school, not for them, and he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks of him, really (except her), so he waits until she looks up at him again, like she's waiting for his response or whatever.
"You're beautiful," he tells her.
Yeah, it's too heavy for the damn lunch room with people around, but he still wants to say it, and he can't fucking stop thinking about her, and hasn't since the other night when he spent a couple hours with his lips on hers, and on her neck. He's not feeding her some line or anything, either, and he thinks she knows that. He hopes she knows he really likes her.
She just says, "Finn," on this little laugh, and he takes one of her cookies and smiles at her, because she's really freaking cute, not able to take a compliment and stuff.
He says, "It's true," just so he can watch her blush.
The rest of his day isn't really all that bad.
... ... ...
She thinks far too hard about what Finn said about the good kids getting nothing in recognition of the fact that they work hard and participate in extra-curriculars because they care, not just because they're good at them. It's incredibly unfair, and if the school wants to continue to be a breeding ground for abhorrent miscreants like Brandon Ryder, they'll continue to ignore the better portion of the student body. The way she sees it, the more they reward good behaviour, the more children will act right. It's not rocket science.
By Wednesday, she's got Schuester's permission to go ahead with her project, and has a full bulletin board in the main hallway cleared off. Her plan is to do exactly what Finn wants. Not to please him, or anything ridiculous like that. She's doing it because it's a great idea, and he's right to want it, to want to change the way they react to the kids' behaviours. When she was talking about it with Schuester, she made it very clear that it wasn't her idea completely, that she and Finn had been talking. (Of course, too, she spoke to a couple other teachers to see if they were on board before taking it to the office.) Will Schuester is all about positive reenforcement, and she'd question his insistence of that, based upon how things have gone lately in this school, if she didn't know just how knew to this position he is.
He's trying, and she commends him for that. He needs a little help, and she's more than willing.
She enlists the AV club for help, too, the lot of them excellent students. She needs a full board for the first round of this, or it's never going to catch on. She takes a photo of the entire AV club and then unleashes them with a list of students she needs 8x10s of.
Because she's got little write-ups done, of each chosen student's accomplishments. Well, the accomplishments that have gotten them on the board. Such as Santana's AP Calculus student who scored 99% on his midterm. And Laura, who balances glee, her school work, and a part time job, and maintains an 86% average across all her classes. And Kingsley, who is an excellent student, football player, glee member, and volunteers at the community center where his mother works in what little spare time he has. Then there is the trivia club, who are off to the regional finals, and this student Alexander, who recently, with his father, helped to get two people out of a vehicle that had crashed into the guardrail in front of them when they were driving. And Mrs. Schuester gave Rachel the name of a student who is actively involved in the Lima Big Sisters program.
She can't use all academic achievements, or artistic achievements, or athletic achievements. She wants to show that there are students across all fields, in all social circles, who deserve recognition for what they do. Many of Laura's peers likely don't know that she works 15 hours a week at Applebee's, and teachers who've never taught him probably don't know that Kingsley keeps his average hovering around the 83% mark. And Rachel knows that the more 'every day' students are recognized, the more students will try to get themselves on the board. High school is a big popularity contest and these kids are all narcissistic.
"What is this?" Finn asks as he walks up to her. She's just putting up the last of the 'bios', the photos already tacked up. He's looking at the board with this impressed, or touched, look on his face.
"It's McKinley High's new Leader Board."
He looks at her, his brown eyes all soft. "What did you do?"
"I just..." No, she can't keep looking at him and not want to kiss him, so she goes back to the board. "You're completely right about the school's need to acknowledge our best instead of our worst."
"You..."
"I started this program, where students and teachers can nominate and recognize kids who are doing amazing things, in and outside of school."
His voice sounds too quiet when he says her name, so she looks over at him, and he's just got this lovely smile on his lips. "You're amazing."
She smiles back at him, then crosses her arms and looks at her finished board. It looks really good, if she may say so, and Finn reaches up and pulls the plastic protective cover back down over it for her.
"It was your idea."
"No, it wasn't," he says, and then touches her arm, his fingertips sliding over her elbow and upward. "Can I put you on the Leader Board?"
God, she wants to kiss him. She looks up at him, and thank god it's after school hours and only faculty is left around. This certainly looks like more than two colleagues talking.
"Am I not already on your Leader Board, Finn?"
He lets out this sort of strangled, soft sound from somewhere deep in his throat. "Can I cook you dinner?"
She laughs a little (she fears it sounds suspiciously like a giggle). "I don't know. Can you?"
"Oh, my god," he laughs. "May I cook you dinner."
Now she really wants to kiss him.
"You may."
(She does get to kiss him. In his kitchen, when he's got salad dressing on his lip, and in his living room, when he's just looking at her as if he can't do anything but, and next to her car, when she's leaving and wishing she didn't have to go.)
... ... ...
So yeah, they're on his couch again, and it's a Saturday afternoon, and it's kind of lightly snowing outside, and Rachel's sort of underneath him, 'cause that's the only way they can do this here lying down, and god.
They've been making out for like, an hour. And that's just today. He's starting to feel like he needs things to go further, and he hates that, because he doesn't want to be a jerk. He doesn't need sex as in he can't be with her without it, but he's thought about it a lot, and he loves kissing her, and her body feels so goddamn good. He's still a guy, and the more worked up he gets, the more painful it is when they stop and she leaves.
He barely presses his hips against her the slightest bit more than he has been, and she pushes at his shoulders (but keeps holding his shirt in her fists) and says, "Finn, wait."
He won't groan. He won't.
"Hi."
She laughs a little (okay, that was kind of dumb) and just smiles up at him. She's not mad. (God, they're fucking adults and they've spent the last like, two weeks making out at any chance they got. Clearly she knows, or could at least assume, that eventually he'd want to do a little more.)
"What are we doing?" she asks, in this small voice that reminds him of music.
But still.
"I'm pretty sure I can't answer that the way you want me to right now." She laughs again and tugs on his shirt, and then presses her face against his chest.
"I mean us. Our...relationship." She says it and then looks at him like she's really not sure how he's going to react to her calling it that. That's stupid, though, because that's totally what this is. A relationship. "Because I really, really like you."
He smiles, and doesn't mean to sound cocky when he says, "I know." He rolls his eyes at himself while she looks up at him. "I'm so into you, Rachel."
She bites her lip, which is already all swollen from kissing him, and then slips one arm around him so her hand is sliding down his back and then sitting right above the waistband of his jeans. "So, can I be your girlfriend?"
He's smiling like a jackass, but he doesn't care at all. "Yeah," he says, and then kisses her. "God. Yes, you can."
Rachel's laughing while they make out, but then he puts his hand on her thigh and bends her leg so he's pressed right against her through their clothes, and that stops her from thinking anything's funny.
They still don't sleep together, though, because it's the middle of the day and they're on his couch, and as much as he wants her, he doesn't want this to happen this way. She totally deserves more than some desperate thing on his living room furniture.
But then nearly a week (and a couple meals, and a few really sweet encounters at work) later, they're sitting on her sofa watching a movie. Rachel's in jeans and an NYU sweatshirt. Well, there's another long sleeved tee shirt underneath it, but she was cold, so she went to grab this while he set up their movie. They're sharing a blanket and her hand is on his thigh.
It's seriously the most comfortable he's been in maybe forever. It's weird, since they're so different, but her body just fits together with his so perfectly, all her curves matching up with the lines of his side. He doesn't even have any of those little moments of panic when she shifts and her elbow is close to his business. He's just comfortable with her and he trusts her.
This movie is so not something he'd pick, but it's really not that bad. It's a DVD of hers, so she's obviously seen it before. When the guy in the movie finally like, gets his shit together and goes after the girl, Finn, without even really thinking, sort of slips his hand into Rachel's hair. She pushes her head back against his hand as he slowly circles his fingers, and then she lets out this little purring sound that he basically immediately wants to hear again and again.
"Finn," she sort of sighs, "I can't concentrate with you doing that."
He laughs a bit. "You've seen this before, right?"
"That's not the point."
Smiling, he leans over and kisses her hair. "What's the point, then?"
She hesitates, and he knows she doesn't have anything to say to that.
She turns, though, a bit, and kisses him really softly, which doesn't really go with how they've been talking, and then it's her hand on his thigh close to his business and...
"Do you want to go to my room?" she asks, eyes all dark.
God, he wants her so bad.
"Yeah," he says, and nods a little bit just in case his voice is even quieter than it feels.
He lets her lead him there by the hand, but then she basically gives over most of the control, and...
Well, he's not going to talk about it with anyone but her, but it's amazing, and it's not like he thought it wouldn't be or anything, but still.
... ... ...
Finn has his hand on her bare bottom under the covers, and she's on her stomach, and when she turns her head, she sees him sleeping next to her and a thrill runs through her as she remembers last night.
Thinking about it makes her cheeks flush. It also has a couple other reactions, but ones that are much more difficult to ignore. God, he's a gorgeous man. And he made her every bit as crazy as she knew he would, and the release was...
She's had enough sex. Not a lot, but enough. She can safely say that last night was the best she's ever had, and if she's being honest, it's likely because she and Finn share this connection, and they're at equal places in their relationship. To the best of her knowledge, one doesn't feel more than the other. This isn't some thing where he had an unrequited crush on her and wore her down until she agreed to go out with him. (Or vice versa.) And she didn't let herself get carried away after that first date. They've just gotten to know each other, and taken their time, and learned little things about each others' bodies, too, along the way.
She really can't be blamed for wanting him again right now, can she?
"Finn." She leans over, shifts a bit so she's mostly on her side. "Finn," she sings softly into his ear, then kisses the lobe. He stirs the slightest bit, and she runs her hand from his chest down to his hip. "Finn."
"Rachel," he says sleepily, then looks over at her and gives her this tired, lazy smile. She just barely scrapes her fingernails across his hip, and it makes him groan. "Baby."
"Wake up."
"What time is it?" he mumbles, then his fingers wrap around her wrist. Does he really want her to stop?
"Does it matter?" He seems to wake up a little more, so she presses herself against his side and leans up to brush her mouth against his. "I've been lying here thinking about last night."
A sneaky little grin graces his lips, his dimple flashing. "Mmm. Last night."
Oh, he is so not a morning person. She wraps her hand around him, feels him suck in his breath and then press his hips up slowly.
"I think you should remind me," she says, and kisses him. "Remind me how good you make me feel."
"Oh my god," he groans, then manages to press her onto her back and bury his face against her neck, kiss up her jaw to her lips. "You're amazing."
Frankly, good doesn't even really begin to describe it.
She makes them breakfast while he showers, and she can only imagine what he's doing in there because he's taken 15 minutes, and even she doesn't take that long, unless she deep-conditions, but that doesn't count. She doesn't mind, really. She'd rather he be extra clean than the alternative. And they're both...Well, she showered before him and washed the sweat from her skin and detangled her hair.
She's blushing.
Finn walks into the kitchen in his boxers and the tee shirt he was wearing last night when he came over, and it's almost cute, that he thinks they're not getting dressed whatsoever today. (Frankly, she's a little sore and wouldn't mind just hanging out and finishing that movie and maybe one or two more; it's been a while and her body isn't used to...well.)
He smells like eucalyptus.
"You know you have like, way too many things in your shower." Rachel laughs and he snags her around the waist and draws her in for a kiss. "You have four shampoos."
"I rotate them."
"And three body washes."
"Okay, but if you mix two of them, it makes this really amazing fragrance that..." Finn leans down and presses his face against her neck, moves his lips a bit, but god, he's... "Are you smelling me?"
"Mmm." It's not really a moan or anything, just a mumbled hum against her pulse. "You do smell really good."
She lets her eyes slip closed as he brushes little kisses on her skin, but she's got food on the stove and she can't just ignore it. "Finn," she tries, but it comes out weak and does nothing. "You have to stop."
He inhales and lets his hands slide down so they're low on her hips. "Why?"
"Food," she laughs, and he hums again. Honestly, he's acting like he's still half asleep. "I made french toast."
He pulls away fast and his face is so lit up that he looks like a little boy as he says, "I love french toast."
The fact that she can still find him so incredibly adorable after the other things he's made her feel lets her know that she probably likes him a little more than she's wanted to admit. It doesn't frighten her.
Monday at school, they share a brief conversation in the hallway before one of his students comes and asks to speak to him about a geography assignment, and Finn doesn't say he'll see her later, but it wouldn't have been necessary anyway. No, they don't have plans after work or anything, and yes, she's got a lunchtime glee rehearsal, but she just assumes they'll talk at some point. It's honestly really nice to not worry and wonder about that kind of thing. She used to stress out if a man wouldn't commit to times and places she could write down and hold him to. She doesn't feel that way with Finn, and she really believes it's because she trusts him, and also because they were friends - fairly good ones, she'd say, even if most of their interactions took place at work - before they ever got together.
She's grading papers at her desk after school when someone says, "So," from the doorway, and she looks up to see Santana leaning against the frame with her arms crossed.
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
Rachel sighs and Santana comes into the office and shuts the door. "You obviously know."
"Obviously. Finn gets this really hilarious 'just laid' look on his face." Santana sits down across from the desk and crosses her legs. "Seriously, though. You guys are good?"
"We are, thank you," Rachel says, and goes back to her marking.
"That's actually all you're giving me?"
"Yes."
It's quiet for a moment, and Rachel looks up just to make sure Santana isn't upset with her, even though she has no right to be anyway.
"You're just lucky I don't have a shitty, sexless marriage that makes me live vicariously though my single friends or whatever."
Rachel laughs, then says, "I'm not single," and Santana's grin widens. "Unless you mean single as unmarried."
"When the hell did this thing between you two get all serious?"
Rachel says, "I don't know," simply because she doesn't want Santana to laugh at her for saying it's been serious all along, before they even went on their first date.
"All right," is all Santana says, then stands up and heads for the door. "I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband."
Rachel laughs, mostly because she knows Santana isn't lying, and also because she has no idea how the woman is so bold about her sex life, even here, at school. Obviously there are no students around, and they were behind a closed door, but still.
When Rachel leaves for the day, she goes straight home and makes herself some dinner, then curls up with a book and some mindless television she's not really paying attention to. Finn texts her a goodnight and says he's got to be up early for practice in the morning.
She does miss him in her bed as she tries to fall asleep, but it's not as though she needs him there with her or anything.
She wouldn't mind, of course.
... ... ...
He and Rachel decided to go for a walk because, well, they've been inside all day and Rachel said that's not acceptable. She wasn't really complaining when they were in bed and he was kissing the inside of her thigh the way she likes. He's just saying.
He's seriously got this fascination with watching her get dressed. It's so weird. She doesn't mind, though. There's just something really beautiful about the way she pulls her panties up her legs and smoothes them out on her hips once they're on, and how she always wears these little tank tops under her sweaters. It's really cold outside and it's going to snow like, any second, and she pulls on this pair of thick socks to wear inside her boots.
He's honestly falling so in love with her it's ridiculous. She's the best person he's ever met in his life, though, and he thinks he's doing a really good job of keeping her happy and interested in him, too. The other day he totally caught her staring at him as he marked papers and she sat next to him on his couch. When he asked what was up, she blushed and said 'nothing', so yeah. He thinks she's falling, too, and thank god.
Without even thinking, he slips his arm around her waist as they walk through her neighbourhood. It's not a big deal; a lot of their colleagues know they're together. Rachel's met his family. They aren't some secret thing, or whatever, and it doesn't matter if people see them together every once in a while. He's never really been a huge fan of PDA anyway, so they don't usually do this kind of thing.
Their students don't know, though. Which is why, when they're walking along the sidewalk and start approaching this house where Kingsley and Laura are goofing around with a football on the front lawn, well...
Finn doesn't want to pull his arm away and look guilty, and whatever. They've already been seen anyway.
"Coach," Kingsley says, with this grin on his face that Finn can't say he's a huge fan of. "Ms. B."
"Hi, Kingsley. I thought you lived...Oh." Rachel stops talking when she realizes that no, Kingsley doesn't live here. "Laura, you..."
"My dad lives here," the girl offers, sort of timidly, like she wishes this wasn't happening. She's feeling like Finn is, then. "I spend every second weekend with him."
Rachel smiles, then, and grips the back of Finn's coat, like she's too excited and doesn't want all that pouring out of her right now.
"Are you two...You're..."
Kingsley laughs a bit, and then slips his arm around Laura's waist. She just pushes a bit of her hair behind her ear as she looks to the ground, then to Kingsley. "We're keeping it kind of quiet."
Rachel doesn't even hesitate before saying, "So are we."
It's Laura who laughs this time. "We've all kind of assumed you two were, um." She shrugs her shoulder. "Together."
"Seriously?" Finn asks, because he thought for sure he'd hear of rumours going around about him. Hell, he's heard them about almost every kid at the school, by this point.
"Dude, you stare," Kingsley says, and Rachel laughs.
"I do not!" Finn argues. "I don't stare." Rachel just looks up at him doubtfully, like she's noticed it, too. "Whatever. What are you doing with that ball?" He grabs it from Kingsley and spins it in his hands a few times. "Maybe you should work on that play you keep messing up in practice."
He starts jogging back down the sidewalk in the direction of Rachel's place, and she's just standing there with the kids, laughing. Finn pumps the ball a couple times so Kingsley'll get ready to catch it, and then he stops running and throws a perfect pass to his student. Kingsley catches it easily and Rachel says goodbye to the kids, then walks towards him and links her arm through his.
"Everyone's going to know now."
"They won't say anything," she promises him, and he wants to believe her, but they're still teenagers. "They're dating in secret. I don't know how I didn't see that."
He doesn't know what to say to that, so he just keeps walking, keeps thinking about how that was the shortest walk ever and he really doesn't mind that they'll be back in the warmth of her house. They'll curl up on the sofa with a blanket and a movie, because that's what she always wants to do when she's cold and they don't have other things to do. He seriously doesn't mind the way she presses herself all up against his side and he gets to keep his arm around her.
She pulls her keys from her coat pocket and he watches her as she unlocks the door, then push it open. She laughs at something, and he wants to know what it is.
She says, "You're staring."
He says, "I don't stare."
She kisses him right before she pats his cheek gently. "Yes, you do, honey," and he stops remembering why he cares if she knows that he wants to spend so much of his time looking at her.
Chapter: 2/2
Pairing: Finn/Rachel
Summary: There's a staff meeting that's mandatory, and Finn knows it's to introduce the new teacher, so he doesn't complain about it as much as he normally would. He's seen her from behind four times and has yet to see her face. That's just plain weird.
Word Count: 21,500 (total)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Before classes start for a day, Finn's in his office doing a quick eval of the morning's practice. The kids all expressed that they don't miss Brandon in the lineup, but Finn still needs to fill the position with someone who can actually play it. He doesn't just want to shove anyone in there, or pick up someone from JV. Brandon is far from the most important player on the field, but he's one of their better defensive players and Finn needs a replacement. Fast. They have a game tomorrow.
Anyway, he's thinking about who to shuffle around and there's a knock at his door. It's open, but everyone always knocks anyway, which he actually appreciates. He doesn't like it when people just walk in on their own without being invited. It seems pretty rude.
But it's Rachel, standing there, and yeah, she could just walk in any time she wanted.
Especially wearing that cute dress and the gorgeous smile on her face.
She holds up a hanger that has his shirt on it, and he smiles at her and puts his pen down.
"Thanks again."
"Stop thanking me," he says, rolling his eyes. "Seriously. Totally not necessary." He watches her walk over, open his cupboard, and hang his shirt up for him. "How are you feeling?"
"I wish people would stop asking me how I'm feeling," she says, laughing lightly. She takes a seat across from his desk. He likes that she's this comfortable right now, with him. "It wasn't some serious injury. I just want to put it behind me."
"Okay."
"I saw the team practicing this morning when I pulled up."
"We suck."
"No, you don't," she says, and he wonders if she actually knows anything about football. And okay, they don't suck, but he's anxious. "You should use this as a motivational tool."
"Um."
"Ask them how they want to be viewed by others, in the face of adversity. Do they want to be seen as the team that collapses when one single player is out of the lineup, or do they want to face the challenge and rise above?"
Finn grins at her, raises his brow, and pushes his pen and paper towards her. "Can you write that down for me?" She laughs a bit. God, she's pretty. "That's actually a really good idea."
"I watch Friday Night Lights."
Finn laughs harder than he should, probably, but she's becoming one of the favourite parts of his day, and he doesn't know what the fuck to do with that, other than to just enjoy it.
She stands up, and he doesn't want her to go, but he knows she has to get to her classroom, too. He'd walk her, but he's in the gym first period today.
He really likes that dress. He hopes she doesn't see him staring.
(Like, she took her shirt off in front of him yesterday, and he's still got the memory of how her breasts looked in her flesh-coloured bra. Her body is so beautiful and it's hard not to just think about her.)
"Um. Would you..." She looks down, shakes her head a little, and her cheeks are pink when she looks up at him again, presses her fingers against the edge of his desk in front of her. "Would you still like to get that cup of coffee?"
He smiles like an idiot. He knows he does. "Yeah?"
"If you want to, I'd really like to."
Finn nods and watches her smile grown. "I want to."
She starts walking backwards towards his office door. Okay, yeah, he doesn't want her to go.
"Tonight at 7:00? That coffee shop on First?"
All he can say is, "Okay," and watch her go, and fuck yes, he's got a date.
And yeah, he's an idiot, because when he gets home he practically tears his closet apart looking for something to wear that's different from what she normally sees him in. Dumb, right? This date isn't a fucking fashion show, but he tries on like ten shirts and gets annoyed with himself. He'd call Santana for advice, but she'd make fun of him like crazy, and also, he doesn't think Rachel really wants anyone to know they're meeting outside of school hours. She seems kind of hesitant to acknowledge that there's even any chemistry between them at all, so he doubts she'd be cool with their coworkers knowing, even if it is just Santana.
He ends up in jeans and a black v-neck tee shirt, because fuck it. She's not going out with him because of what clothes he wears. That said, he is kind of hoping she's still wearing that dress.
He gets to the coffee shop early, which kind of sucks, because he wants to pay for her drink for her. It's like, the gentlemanly thing to do, right? He should have left his house later, but he got kind of anxious just sitting around and then couldn't handle waiting anymore.
He plays with his phone as he waits outside for her to show up, and when she gets out of her car a few minutes before 7:00, she's got on really casual jeans that look like she's worn them a hundred times, and a little blazer with a scarf, and her hair's in a ponytail. She looks really pretty.
"It's not very often someone beats me to an engagement," she says, smiling as she approaches. "I like to be a few minutes early. When did you get here?"
Shit. Now he's gonna look like a fucking dumbass for being too excited to see her or something. He doesn't want that.
"I, um, had some things to do, so I just came when I was done." Not a lie, right? He doesn't want to lie. The things he had to do were at his house, so it's just like, him leaving out that detail. Totally fine. "You look nice."
He holds the door open for her and smiles at the way she blushes as she thanks him. He feels like he's the one in high school right now.
Seriously? A girl like Rachel wouldn't have even looked at him in high school. She's so ambitious and pretty and talented, and he was like, some jock loser who tried to be a leader but really just ended up doing what everyone else did, because it was easier than taking a stand. He did join up to stop bullying in the school when he ended up with a step-brother who was getting tortured pretty hard. That's probably the best thing he did in high school, though. The football accomplishments really don't mean much. They did then, but they don't now.
Rachel probably wouldn't even have noticed him. She's like, a million times better than him. She was probably so like, crazy dedicated to school, determined to make good grades and everything, that she wouldn't notice the dumb jock who seemed to have everything handed to him. If she did notice, it would have been just because she thought he was pathetic.
This isn't high school, though, and they're equals. Sort of. He still thinks she's better than him.
She orders some decaf latté thing that sounds a little gross, if you ask him. Something about steamed milk just turns his stomach. She laughs when he tells her that, and says she can't drink coffee like he does, either, so they're even. He likes that.
She finds them a table and he follows her, thinking about how cute her butt looks in her jeans. He's pretty sure she catches him doing it, but she doesn't say anything about it, so maybe she doesn't mind.
"So," she says, hands curled around her paper cup, "tell me about yourself."
He blinks. This casual coffee date just got intense. "Uh. What do you want to know?"
She shrugs one shoulder. "Everything?"
Her cheeks flush afterward and he thinks she looks really fucking cute like that, actually, like, embarrassed about what she said. The idea that 'everything' was her first reaction to his question is kind of awesome actually.
He wants to know everything about her, too.
"Um. I was born here," he tells her, and she smiles like she's happy he's actually talking to her. "My dad was in the Army, and it was like, this big thing, or whatever. I guess he came back all messed up and died of an overdose. I don't know all the details."
"Oh, my god. That's awful," she says, and shit. Maybe he should have led with something happier.
"My mom's great, though." Yeah, he's pretty eager to change the subject. "She works at the bank. She's been there for like, 30 years. She raised me by herself until she married my step-dad." Rachel's smile is back. Thank god. "He runs the auto shop over on Poplar. Oh, and I have a step-brother. He lives in L.A., though."
"What does he do there?"
"He's a...I dunno. Some complicated thing to do with fashion on this TV show that kind of sucks."
Rachel laughs and it makes him feel like less of a jerk for not really know what Kurt does. Like, he loves the guy and everything, and he knows Kurt's really successful, but they kind of couldn't be more different if they tried.
"What else?"
She's just staring at him, and it's not freaking him out, really, but still. She's intense.
"Uh." Her brows go up questioningly. "You're making me nervous."
"I'm sorry!" she sort of laughs, leaning back in her chair. "I'm sorry. I've been told I'm too much sometimes."
"What? No, I didn't say that. I just...It's been a long time since I went on a date with a woman who didn't know everything about me already."
Rachel plays with her coffee cup and then looks up at him. "A date, huh?"
Fuck.
But like, this is a date, right? It's obvious that this is a date. They're two people who're interested in each other and they're meeting outside of work hours. It's a date.
"Yeah."
"I would have started talking first, but as you know, I tend to talk a lot, and I didn't want to be that annoying woman who spends the whole date talking about herself."
See? It's totally a date.
"You can talk all you want," he tells her, and takes a sip of his coffee. It's still kind of too hot, but he does a good job of hiding that.
She smiles, too, and if he has any say in things, this is not going to be their only date.
"When did you meet Noah?"
"Birth."
"Really?"
He shrugs his shoulders. "Yeah. We've always known each other."
Her eyes are still all wide. "So you've always been best friends?"
"Sort of. He knocked me down in like, first grade, because I was shorter than everyone else." At her disbelieving look, he chuckles. "It's true. I punched him in the face and we both got suspended."
"That's not a very good story," she laughs.
"I taught him how to throw punches, though, and he taught me how to throw a football, 'cause he had an uncle who didn't suck, and he knew how."
"So you played football together."
Finn shrugs. "We kind of did everything together."
Rachel smiles and puts her chin on her hand.
She basically has him tell her all about high school, and playing football, and college. She's totally shocked when he gets to the part about how Santana and Puck actually got married in Vegas when they went on a random four day trip after college. She giggles when he says he was kind of glad to A: Not have to go to a wedding, and B: Not have to like, beat it into them that they should just get married, 'cause they're perfect for each other. She says something about wanting to see the two of them actually together, and Finn smiles. He could arrange that, if she's serious.
He learns about her, too, like about her dads and about growing up where she did. He asks if she has a Syracuse Orange shirt and she holds up two fingers and looks around like she's scared some angry OSU fan is going to come after her or something. It's really cute. She says she didn't have a lot of friends growing up, but the ones she had were amazing and she still tries to keep in touch with them. She talks about living in New York City and then about her old school in Connecticut.
And then someone comes by and says, "Just so you know, we close in five minutes," and Finn can't believe they've sat here talking for like three hours.
He tosses their cups out and she digs her keys out of her purse. He walks her to her car and feels really, really nervous, because god, he wants to kiss her, but he also doesn't want their first kiss to be next to her car in a mostly empty parking lot when she's shivering in the cold.
"This was fun."
She laughs a little and tilts her head as she looks at him. "I talked about myself too much."
"No you didn't." He reaches out and touches her arm over her jacket. "I like listening to you talk."
Her cheeks flush pink and she ducks her head so her hair falls in her face. God, she's pretty.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asks in a small voice, then hits the button to unlock her car door.
"Yeah, okay." He nods a bit and she opens her car door, but god, he can't just let her leave on that note, so he puts his hand on the car door so she can't close it yet, and leans down so he can see her sitting in the driver's seat. "I think we should do this again."
She fiddles with her keys and won't look him in the eye. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
"I'm asking you out on a second date," he tells her, grinning, and she gives him this really beautiful smile
"You're sweet." She turns the key in the ignition and buckles her seat belt. "Goodnight, Finn."
Wait.
"Is that a yes?"
She looks up at him through her lashes. "It's not a no."
Dammit, he should have kissed her.
... ... ...
Being completely professional at work now that she knows so much about him and he knows so much about her is going to be difficult, she thinks. And then she thinks about his request for a second date, and her stomach does this thing it hasn't in years. She feels like a teenager, and hiding that at work might be difficult.
It's not, though. Granted, she sort of ignores him for part of the morning, but even so. When they see one another in the lounge at lunch, he just smiles at her from his table where he's eating with Artie and John, the baseball coach. She takes her seat with Santana and they talk about this student they have who is in need of help she's not willing to accept.
When she leaves the school at the end of the day and begins towards her car, she sees Finn running his football practice and smiles to herself as she hears him shouting at his players. It shouldn't be this attractive that he's so passionate, but it really is.
The most important thing, really, is making sure none of the students know what's going on between them, if, in fact, anything is going on. One date hardly constitutes a relationship. Neither does two dates. Until they're anything even remotely serious, she really wants to make sure they keep this quiet.
Which, of course, works well for two days, and then Santana pulls her aside in the parking lot before school and says, "Well, you're dating my best friend and I have to like, use torture tactics to get it out of him? What the fuck, babe?"
Rachel laughs, but she's really more nervous than she wants to let on. "We're not dating. We went on a date. Sort of. I didn't even...It was just coffee."
"D'you kiss?"
"No!"
Santana grins, bumps Rachel's hip with her own. "D'you want to?"
"Stop it." Rachel rolls her eyes for good measure, but god, she really, really wouldn't mind kissing him.
See, that's the other thing she's been thinking about. Finn could have kissed her. He really could have. She almost invited him to, but then stopped herself when she thought he might just do it anyway. She's not going to say she's disappointed that he didn't, but it would have been nice. She can't imagine a world in which it wouldn't be nice to be kissed by a man that gorgeous and sweet and kind.
"You totally wanted it," Santana chuckles.
"Please, please, don't say anything to him," Rachel requests seriously, and Santana just stares as they stop outside the doors to the school. "I don't need him seeing me as some kind of desperate..."
"Rach, the only thing that'd make you desperate would be if you like, jumped on him. Naked. And even then, he'd probably like it." Her cheeks feel like they're on fire. "Oh, my god. You act like you've never been with a guy before." There's a pause, and Santana looks at her, wide-eyed. "You have, right?"
"Good heavens, Santana, yes," Rachel snaps. Santana shrugs as though that was a totally valid question, which it wasn't. "I just really enjoy his company, and I'm not willing to rush into anything and ruin it."
"Fucking him wouldn't ruin it, but whatever." Santana pulls the door open and Rachel walks through. She really likes this woman, and she'd consider Santana a friend, but she's uncomfortable right now. "Take your time. Finn's sort of lame with this shit, so he probably doesn't have the nerve to even kiss you yet anyway."
Honestly? Rachel is sort of glad to hear it.
Well, not completely. She's not adverse to kissing him, innocently. With no roaming hands or fooling around or anything else that would or could be considered moving too fast. If, for instance, he were to kiss her goodnight at the end of their as-yet-unscheduled second date, she would be more than okay with that.
She gets through the rest of the day without any more inappropriate conversations with Santana, which, honestly, she wasn't sure would happen. They sit together, with Finn and Artie, at lunch, and Artie is talking about this concert he's going to in Cleveland on the weekend. Rachel's listening, she is, but Finn keeps stealing looks at her, and giving her this really adorable smile when he gets caught. She also notices Santana rolling her eyes at them, but the woman keeps her mouth shut, thank goodness. The thing with Santana, Rachel can tell, is that she may run her mouth and say inappropriate things when they're talking just the two of them, but she has enough tact not to do the same thing around other people. She likes that.
But she's also sneaky, because after they learn Artie will be out of town Saturday night, she goes, "Hey, Puck and I are having some people over, if you guys want to come," and Rachel knows this was a spur of the moment decision and that Santana is attempting to play matchmaker.
Finn shrugs, apparently oblivious. "Sure."
And he looks at Rachel expectantly and makes it impossible for her to say no. Not that she was planning on it anyway, but even so.
Does this count as a second date?
She thinks it's rather casual - and that it'll likely be just the four of them - so when Saturday comes around, after she's done her laundry and housework and grocery shopping, she showers and pulls on a pair of jeans she loves and never wears to work, and a black and white stripped sweater with a camisole underneath. She wears it off the shoulder because it's sort of stylish that way, and straightens her hair.
Finn's car is in the driveway when she shows up at Santana's house. It's one of two cars there. She knew this wasn't 'some people', it was just Finn and Rachel.
Noah answers the door and smiles, asks how she's doing and takes her coat from her. He's got more manners than one would assume. Or maybe his wife forces them on him. That wouldn't surprise her.
"Hey," Finn says, after she's greeted Santana. A glass of wine is being poured for her, and Finn is nursing a bottle of beer slowly, it seems. God, he's cute. "Find the place okay?"
"Yes. Actually, I don't live all that far."
"Really?" She nods, and smiles, and that exhausts that conversation, and she really, really wishes she'd turned down this offer and just spent the evening with him instead.
She likes Santana and Noah a lot, and she most definitely wants to get to know them better, and maybe they thought this would be an easy environment for she and Finn to be in. There's no pressure, and there are now double the amount of conversations, or at least conversationalists, available. It should be easier, shouldn't it? She should be more comfortable with another couple around this early in the game.
She just wants to be alone with him, though. Not necessarily alone at either of their houses, or anything ridiculous like that, but alone at a restaurant where she can talk with him about things that matter.
She knows it would be very rude to ask him if he wanted to leave, so she's not going to, but she still sort of wants to.
It's all fine. She sits in a leather arm chair in the living room and sips her wine while the four of them talk. Finn is nearby with his ankle resting on his knee and his beer resting on his thigh. God, he's attractive. As he laughs and has some funny little conversation with Noah, Rachel still can't really believe that he's interested in her. What's so special about her that this wonderful, sweet, funny, kind-hearted, good-looking man wants to spend his time with her? She doesn't want to ask him. She's not stupid and she knows she's worthy of attention from the opposite sex, it's just that no one like Finn has ever even given her a second look.
"Oh, my god. Stare harder," Santana says, rolling her eyes.
Rachel feels her face flush automatically, and then...God.
"I'm not staring," she hisses, and looks at Finn, who's got a little colour on his cheeks, too. "I wasn't staring."
Noah is smirking. She doesn't know how two such similar people as he and Santana could ever possibly make a relationship work.
"Um," Finn says, and she wants to die, a little bit.
"Okay, this is like watching some TV show where the couple you want to get together takes for fucking ever to do it," Santana says, and Rachel resents the fact that Noah laughs.
It's probably that feeling that has her saying, "Well then maybe you shouldn't have interfered and practically invited yourself to be witness to our second date."
Santana just raises a brow. "Touché."
Rachel stands up and sets her wine glass on the coffee table, and yes, everyone's looking at her, and no, she does not feel as confident as she likely looks. She looks at Finn and says, "Would you like to get out of here?" and he nods, gives her a gorgeous smile, and says, "Yeah," like he's impressed with her or something.
She waits until they're outside and his hand is on her back before turning to him. "I've asked you out twice now, you know." What can she say? She's feeling bold. "I mean, if we're keeping score."
"Actually, I've asked you out twice, too. This whole thing just messed it all up." They're standing next to her car. She didn't think this through. His is parked in the driveway, too, and they'll either have to drive separately or come back here after they go do whatever it is they're going to do. "Do you wanna grab a drink somewhere else?"
She looks up at him. His hand is on her hip and she honestly doesn't think she's ever seen anyone look so sweet while also turning her on.
God, she's got it so bad for him.
"Please don't get the wrong impression," she says, though the fact that she definitely wants to sleep with him makes that statement null and void, "but I have some wine at my house, if you'd like."
"Sure," he says, and one of his dimples appears on his cheek, the way he's grinning at her. "I'll follow you?"
She just nods, because she's also trying to remember how messy her living room is (not very, because she's a very tidy person) and thinking he's quite a gentleman for offering to bring his own car and not operating on the assumption that he'll just stay over. Granted, she did just basically tell him she's not sleeping with him tonight, but even so. He likely would have done this anyway. Considering he blushes when she compliments him, she doesn't take him for the kind of man who thinks of women in terms of 'sure things'.
Part of her wonders what he'd do if she did proposition him.
She's not going to find out. (Not tonight, anyway.)
She really does live close to Santana and Noah's house. She's really only a handful of blocks and a couple right turns away. There's not much traffic in this residential area - and after living in cities for the past several years, she likes that - so it's easy for Finn to follow her. Why is it that when traveling in different cars is always the most nerve-wracking experience ever? Like, you're constantly worried that someone is going to pull out between you, or that one will get stopped at a red light after the lead car has advanced through.
She's thinking of the most ridiculous things so she doesn't focus on something absolutely preposterous, such as if the underwear she has on are cute enough, or if she even owns condoms right now.
She is not sleeping with him tonight. God, they haven't even kissed!
She waits for him at the base of the steps that lead up to her tiny little porch and her house's front door. She usually goes in the side through the garage, but that's because she doesn't usually have company with her.
"Sorry about the mess," she says as they step inside, because that is the thing you say to break the ice, she thinks.
She switches on the light and he scoffs, which makes her look at him. "This isn't messy."
That's all he says, though. She finds it a little comforting that he seems as nervous as she is.
Maybe she shouldn't have asked him here.
"You can make yourself comfortable here, or you're welcome to join me in the kitchen, if you like." He doesn't say anything, just follows her, and she is seriously starting to regret inviting him. It's too soon for this, and it's awkward. it's more awkward, in fact, than Santana setting them up the way she did. She turns around to find him there in her kitchen, looking around at her things. "I know it's not much, but it's what I could find on short notice."
"I like it," he tells her, and gives her a little smile before leaning against the counter next to where she's opening a bottle of red.
Then it's quiet again and she's trying to come up with conversation ideas and drawing complete blanks. It makes no sense whatsoever, since they spent three hours talking last time. Surely they haven't exhausted all topics or conversation and now have nothing.
"I'm sorry, is this terribly awkward?"
"It's not awkward, I'm just nervous," he says, sort of laughing, and she almost can't believe what she's hearing.
"You're nervous?"
"You make me nervous," he admits quietly. She just looks at him. "You're like, gorgeous and smart and...I really like you."
She's focusing on entirely the wrong thing, possibly, but she blinks and fiddles with the cork in her hand. "You think I'm gorgeous?"
He gives her this adorable smile she's seen only twice before, that she can remember, and asks, "Do you not?"
She blushes so hard she feels like her temperature is burning up. Their fingers touch when she passes him his glass of wine, and then he's setting his free hand on the small of her back and leaning down to kiss the apple of her cheek, and she swears her breathing stops for a moment.
"What was that?" she asks.
He shrugs his shoulder. "I wanted to."
She takes the glass from him again and sets it down, then slides her hands up onto his shoulders and leans up on her toes so she can kiss him. He still isn't close enough, but he's smart enough to lean down and let her do what she wants. And when her mouth touches his, his hands end up on her hips, pulling her closer, and he lets out this tiny sound that could be a moan. God, he's so...Well, tall, and after a little bit, her feet get sore and her neck hurts, so she pulls away and looks up at him. He's licking his lips as he looks at her, and god, she already wants to do that again.
"We should go to the living room."
"Yeah," he says quickly. "I mean, since...We should talk and drink wine."
He is totally nervous and she can't believe she missed it before.
She smiles at him and picks up their glasses. "Actually, you're just too tall to kiss while we're both standing."
He gets this look on his face she swears does things to her already out of control hormones.
And she does feel like one of the horny teenagers she teaches every day, because she spends the rest of her evening making out with Finn Hudson on her sofa, stealing sips of wine here and there until their glasses are empty.
When he says he really should go, it's when his lips are against her neck and she doesn't want him to stop.
He ends up leaving at nearly 2:00 in the morning, kissing her cheek at the door and reminding her of how they came to end up kissing to begin with.
(As she undresses for bed and realizes there's no way she'll be able to sleep when she's this aroused, she's wondering how many dates they have to go on before sleeping together is acceptable.)
... ... ...
"We kissed."
Santana stares and looks at him as if there should be more to the story. "Like, below the waist?"
"No," Finn says, and she rolls her eyes.
"That was a sure thing, dude. Did you even..."
"It wasn't a sure thing, first of all, and don't talk about her like that." Seriously. Rachel's not just some random woman he's trying to have sex with. "I really like her."
"I know you do. Which is why you should bang her," Santana says, and god, it's like she lives to embarrass him. They're in his office, too, and yeah, the door's closed, but still. This is a fucking high school. "Okay, look. When was the last time you actually gave a damn about a woman? Obviously you like her enough that you're gonna sleep with her eventually." She shrugs and he's just looking at her, because this makes no sense to him at all. "Why not just do it now and get it out of the way?"
"Do you even think before you talk?" he asks, and she rolls her eyes at him. The rings on her hand sparkling under the fluorescent light remind him that she doesn't totally suck at relationships, but she's also not the one trying to be in one with Rachel, and she just really doesn't need to give him pointers. "I really like her. I like her enough that I don't wanna sleep with her too fast and have her think that's all I want or something."
"But you do want it, right?" He glares. "Just checking! God. I wonder if she's been with a woman before, or if you'll be the first."
He stands up and walks to the door, puts his hand on the door knob. Sometimes she's funny, but sometimes she goes way too far and actually says things that either hurt him or piss him off. This happens to be kind of both.
"You're a real bitch sometimes," he says, and then pulls the door open. She looks like she knows he's actually being serious right now, and then she tilts her head. "Go."
"Finn, come on. I was just..."
"Seriously. You just insulted like, everything about me, so." He gestures to the door and she walks out (more like stomps, but whatever; he doesn't care) and he closes the door behind her.
He might run his first period gym class a little too hard, but he's in a shitty mood. He shouldn't take it out on the kids, and once he realizes what he's doing, he has them stop and take a five minute breather, and they all get sips of water from the fountains before he splits them up into teams for floor hockey.
In his second period class, Brandon mouths off at him after acting like an asshole to another kid, and Finn's never going to tolerate that, but it's even worse today. He sends the kid to Schue's office and then Brandon's parents are there and acting oblivious to everything that's been going on, even though they know their kid's a little asshole. Finn can't bite his tongue and ends up laying out all the reasons why he thinks Brandon should be expelled, and the parents are pissed, but Schue seems okay with it. (They've talked about Brandon more than once, and how he's a terrible kid to have in their school. He's a bully and he treats everyone, students and teachers alike, like crap, and Finn's so fucking sick of it.)
So yeah, by lunch, he really just wants to go home already, and he can't see anything turning this day around.
But then he walks into the teachers' lounge and sees Rachel sitting at a table by herself with an empty chair beside her, and this blouse on that he really thinks looks pretty on her, and she smiles when she sees him.
And things sort of start looking up.
"Hi," she says all cute and stuff when he sits down next to her. "I brought you...Well, I brought cookies, but I'll share, if you like."
God.
"I like cookies."
She gives him this little grin. "They're ginger molasses. I made them yesterday."
He just looks at her as he unwraps the sandwich he threw together before work this morning. "You bake?"
"A lot, actually," she says, nodding. "I really enjoy it."
He says, "I really enjoy you," without thinking, but does it quietly, and she lets out this little breath and takes a bite of her salad. "I had a really crappy morning."
"I heard." He just looks at her. "Well, Santana said you were in a mood." He scoffs. It's Santana's freaking fault, but whatever. "And then I saw you come out of the office earlier."
"Yeah. I was...I was kind of pissed."
"I noticed."
"I'm just so freaking sick of kids like Brandon Ryder getting away with murder and no one calling them on it." Rachel gives him this look that's sort of sympathetic, and he takes a bite of his sandwich so he stops saying things that come out in an angry voice.
"It's not very fair," she says.
"No, it's not. And kids like...like Kingsley and Laura do everything right and get no recognition for being good."
"Well," Rachel says, and dabs at her mouth with her napkin. "The squeaky wheel gets the grease, you know."
He chews his sandwich and wonders how she can calm him down with something as stupid as that. Like, honestly. She's pointing out the obvious and it doesn't make any difference. Things will continue to go on like this, with shitty students getting all the attention and good students getting nothing. But she's so sincere that he can't help but relax a bit. She's not saying it because it's a cliché and she can't think of anything else. He's pretty sure she's saying it because she knows it's true.
"What were you like in high school?" he asks, and she laughs out loud and then covers her mouth with her hand in a way that makes him smile.
"I was the girl you wouldn't have even noticed."
He rolls his eyes. "Come on. Seriously."
"Seriously," she says, laughing quietly. She snaps the lid back onto her salad container and reaches for her little Tupperware thing of raspberries. "I was a nerd, and I dressed strangely, and I wasn't very pretty."
"Okay, that's a lie."
"It is not!" she insists, eyes wide. "I was in show choir, and I wore ridiculous plaid skirts, and..."
"Not that. The not pretty thing. That's garbage," he says, and she blushes, and like. Fuck. He likes her so much. "I don't buy that."
"Well," she says, and tucks her hair behind her ear, plays with the cup of berries in front of her, "no one else thought I was pretty. In fact, they liked to tell me every day, multiple times a day, that I wasn't. It's almost impressive, how many ways they came up with to say it."
Shit.
Shit. That like, hurts his heart. He can't even picture her ever not being as gorgeous as she is, even if she did wear weird clothes. Like, fuck, he probably would have thought she was gorgeous even then. He hates that it hits him that maybe since he was friends with a bunch of dicks - well, people who were dicks at the time - he may have fallen into the pack of people who thought she was ugly and wouldn't have argued against that because he didn't want to lose his place at the top of the social ladder. He hates that.
But this isn't high school, not for them, and he doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks of him, really (except her), so he waits until she looks up at him again, like she's waiting for his response or whatever.
"You're beautiful," he tells her.
Yeah, it's too heavy for the damn lunch room with people around, but he still wants to say it, and he can't fucking stop thinking about her, and hasn't since the other night when he spent a couple hours with his lips on hers, and on her neck. He's not feeding her some line or anything, either, and he thinks she knows that. He hopes she knows he really likes her.
She just says, "Finn," on this little laugh, and he takes one of her cookies and smiles at her, because she's really freaking cute, not able to take a compliment and stuff.
He says, "It's true," just so he can watch her blush.
The rest of his day isn't really all that bad.
... ... ...
She thinks far too hard about what Finn said about the good kids getting nothing in recognition of the fact that they work hard and participate in extra-curriculars because they care, not just because they're good at them. It's incredibly unfair, and if the school wants to continue to be a breeding ground for abhorrent miscreants like Brandon Ryder, they'll continue to ignore the better portion of the student body. The way she sees it, the more they reward good behaviour, the more children will act right. It's not rocket science.
By Wednesday, she's got Schuester's permission to go ahead with her project, and has a full bulletin board in the main hallway cleared off. Her plan is to do exactly what Finn wants. Not to please him, or anything ridiculous like that. She's doing it because it's a great idea, and he's right to want it, to want to change the way they react to the kids' behaviours. When she was talking about it with Schuester, she made it very clear that it wasn't her idea completely, that she and Finn had been talking. (Of course, too, she spoke to a couple other teachers to see if they were on board before taking it to the office.) Will Schuester is all about positive reenforcement, and she'd question his insistence of that, based upon how things have gone lately in this school, if she didn't know just how knew to this position he is.
He's trying, and she commends him for that. He needs a little help, and she's more than willing.
She enlists the AV club for help, too, the lot of them excellent students. She needs a full board for the first round of this, or it's never going to catch on. She takes a photo of the entire AV club and then unleashes them with a list of students she needs 8x10s of.
Because she's got little write-ups done, of each chosen student's accomplishments. Well, the accomplishments that have gotten them on the board. Such as Santana's AP Calculus student who scored 99% on his midterm. And Laura, who balances glee, her school work, and a part time job, and maintains an 86% average across all her classes. And Kingsley, who is an excellent student, football player, glee member, and volunteers at the community center where his mother works in what little spare time he has. Then there is the trivia club, who are off to the regional finals, and this student Alexander, who recently, with his father, helped to get two people out of a vehicle that had crashed into the guardrail in front of them when they were driving. And Mrs. Schuester gave Rachel the name of a student who is actively involved in the Lima Big Sisters program.
She can't use all academic achievements, or artistic achievements, or athletic achievements. She wants to show that there are students across all fields, in all social circles, who deserve recognition for what they do. Many of Laura's peers likely don't know that she works 15 hours a week at Applebee's, and teachers who've never taught him probably don't know that Kingsley keeps his average hovering around the 83% mark. And Rachel knows that the more 'every day' students are recognized, the more students will try to get themselves on the board. High school is a big popularity contest and these kids are all narcissistic.
"What is this?" Finn asks as he walks up to her. She's just putting up the last of the 'bios', the photos already tacked up. He's looking at the board with this impressed, or touched, look on his face.
"It's McKinley High's new Leader Board."
He looks at her, his brown eyes all soft. "What did you do?"
"I just..." No, she can't keep looking at him and not want to kiss him, so she goes back to the board. "You're completely right about the school's need to acknowledge our best instead of our worst."
"You..."
"I started this program, where students and teachers can nominate and recognize kids who are doing amazing things, in and outside of school."
His voice sounds too quiet when he says her name, so she looks over at him, and he's just got this lovely smile on his lips. "You're amazing."
She smiles back at him, then crosses her arms and looks at her finished board. It looks really good, if she may say so, and Finn reaches up and pulls the plastic protective cover back down over it for her.
"It was your idea."
"No, it wasn't," he says, and then touches her arm, his fingertips sliding over her elbow and upward. "Can I put you on the Leader Board?"
God, she wants to kiss him. She looks up at him, and thank god it's after school hours and only faculty is left around. This certainly looks like more than two colleagues talking.
"Am I not already on your Leader Board, Finn?"
He lets out this sort of strangled, soft sound from somewhere deep in his throat. "Can I cook you dinner?"
She laughs a little (she fears it sounds suspiciously like a giggle). "I don't know. Can you?"
"Oh, my god," he laughs. "May I cook you dinner."
Now she really wants to kiss him.
"You may."
(She does get to kiss him. In his kitchen, when he's got salad dressing on his lip, and in his living room, when he's just looking at her as if he can't do anything but, and next to her car, when she's leaving and wishing she didn't have to go.)
... ... ...
So yeah, they're on his couch again, and it's a Saturday afternoon, and it's kind of lightly snowing outside, and Rachel's sort of underneath him, 'cause that's the only way they can do this here lying down, and god.
They've been making out for like, an hour. And that's just today. He's starting to feel like he needs things to go further, and he hates that, because he doesn't want to be a jerk. He doesn't need sex as in he can't be with her without it, but he's thought about it a lot, and he loves kissing her, and her body feels so goddamn good. He's still a guy, and the more worked up he gets, the more painful it is when they stop and she leaves.
He barely presses his hips against her the slightest bit more than he has been, and she pushes at his shoulders (but keeps holding his shirt in her fists) and says, "Finn, wait."
He won't groan. He won't.
"Hi."
She laughs a little (okay, that was kind of dumb) and just smiles up at him. She's not mad. (God, they're fucking adults and they've spent the last like, two weeks making out at any chance they got. Clearly she knows, or could at least assume, that eventually he'd want to do a little more.)
"What are we doing?" she asks, in this small voice that reminds him of music.
But still.
"I'm pretty sure I can't answer that the way you want me to right now." She laughs again and tugs on his shirt, and then presses her face against his chest.
"I mean us. Our...relationship." She says it and then looks at him like she's really not sure how he's going to react to her calling it that. That's stupid, though, because that's totally what this is. A relationship. "Because I really, really like you."
He smiles, and doesn't mean to sound cocky when he says, "I know." He rolls his eyes at himself while she looks up at him. "I'm so into you, Rachel."
She bites her lip, which is already all swollen from kissing him, and then slips one arm around him so her hand is sliding down his back and then sitting right above the waistband of his jeans. "So, can I be your girlfriend?"
He's smiling like a jackass, but he doesn't care at all. "Yeah," he says, and then kisses her. "God. Yes, you can."
Rachel's laughing while they make out, but then he puts his hand on her thigh and bends her leg so he's pressed right against her through their clothes, and that stops her from thinking anything's funny.
They still don't sleep together, though, because it's the middle of the day and they're on his couch, and as much as he wants her, he doesn't want this to happen this way. She totally deserves more than some desperate thing on his living room furniture.
But then nearly a week (and a couple meals, and a few really sweet encounters at work) later, they're sitting on her sofa watching a movie. Rachel's in jeans and an NYU sweatshirt. Well, there's another long sleeved tee shirt underneath it, but she was cold, so she went to grab this while he set up their movie. They're sharing a blanket and her hand is on his thigh.
It's seriously the most comfortable he's been in maybe forever. It's weird, since they're so different, but her body just fits together with his so perfectly, all her curves matching up with the lines of his side. He doesn't even have any of those little moments of panic when she shifts and her elbow is close to his business. He's just comfortable with her and he trusts her.
This movie is so not something he'd pick, but it's really not that bad. It's a DVD of hers, so she's obviously seen it before. When the guy in the movie finally like, gets his shit together and goes after the girl, Finn, without even really thinking, sort of slips his hand into Rachel's hair. She pushes her head back against his hand as he slowly circles his fingers, and then she lets out this little purring sound that he basically immediately wants to hear again and again.
"Finn," she sort of sighs, "I can't concentrate with you doing that."
He laughs a bit. "You've seen this before, right?"
"That's not the point."
Smiling, he leans over and kisses her hair. "What's the point, then?"
She hesitates, and he knows she doesn't have anything to say to that.
She turns, though, a bit, and kisses him really softly, which doesn't really go with how they've been talking, and then it's her hand on his thigh close to his business and...
"Do you want to go to my room?" she asks, eyes all dark.
God, he wants her so bad.
"Yeah," he says, and nods a little bit just in case his voice is even quieter than it feels.
He lets her lead him there by the hand, but then she basically gives over most of the control, and...
Well, he's not going to talk about it with anyone but her, but it's amazing, and it's not like he thought it wouldn't be or anything, but still.
... ... ...
Finn has his hand on her bare bottom under the covers, and she's on her stomach, and when she turns her head, she sees him sleeping next to her and a thrill runs through her as she remembers last night.
Thinking about it makes her cheeks flush. It also has a couple other reactions, but ones that are much more difficult to ignore. God, he's a gorgeous man. And he made her every bit as crazy as she knew he would, and the release was...
She's had enough sex. Not a lot, but enough. She can safely say that last night was the best she's ever had, and if she's being honest, it's likely because she and Finn share this connection, and they're at equal places in their relationship. To the best of her knowledge, one doesn't feel more than the other. This isn't some thing where he had an unrequited crush on her and wore her down until she agreed to go out with him. (Or vice versa.) And she didn't let herself get carried away after that first date. They've just gotten to know each other, and taken their time, and learned little things about each others' bodies, too, along the way.
She really can't be blamed for wanting him again right now, can she?
"Finn." She leans over, shifts a bit so she's mostly on her side. "Finn," she sings softly into his ear, then kisses the lobe. He stirs the slightest bit, and she runs her hand from his chest down to his hip. "Finn."
"Rachel," he says sleepily, then looks over at her and gives her this tired, lazy smile. She just barely scrapes her fingernails across his hip, and it makes him groan. "Baby."
"Wake up."
"What time is it?" he mumbles, then his fingers wrap around her wrist. Does he really want her to stop?
"Does it matter?" He seems to wake up a little more, so she presses herself against his side and leans up to brush her mouth against his. "I've been lying here thinking about last night."
A sneaky little grin graces his lips, his dimple flashing. "Mmm. Last night."
Oh, he is so not a morning person. She wraps her hand around him, feels him suck in his breath and then press his hips up slowly.
"I think you should remind me," she says, and kisses him. "Remind me how good you make me feel."
"Oh my god," he groans, then manages to press her onto her back and bury his face against her neck, kiss up her jaw to her lips. "You're amazing."
Frankly, good doesn't even really begin to describe it.
She makes them breakfast while he showers, and she can only imagine what he's doing in there because he's taken 15 minutes, and even she doesn't take that long, unless she deep-conditions, but that doesn't count. She doesn't mind, really. She'd rather he be extra clean than the alternative. And they're both...Well, she showered before him and washed the sweat from her skin and detangled her hair.
She's blushing.
Finn walks into the kitchen in his boxers and the tee shirt he was wearing last night when he came over, and it's almost cute, that he thinks they're not getting dressed whatsoever today. (Frankly, she's a little sore and wouldn't mind just hanging out and finishing that movie and maybe one or two more; it's been a while and her body isn't used to...well.)
He smells like eucalyptus.
"You know you have like, way too many things in your shower." Rachel laughs and he snags her around the waist and draws her in for a kiss. "You have four shampoos."
"I rotate them."
"And three body washes."
"Okay, but if you mix two of them, it makes this really amazing fragrance that..." Finn leans down and presses his face against her neck, moves his lips a bit, but god, he's... "Are you smelling me?"
"Mmm." It's not really a moan or anything, just a mumbled hum against her pulse. "You do smell really good."
She lets her eyes slip closed as he brushes little kisses on her skin, but she's got food on the stove and she can't just ignore it. "Finn," she tries, but it comes out weak and does nothing. "You have to stop."
He inhales and lets his hands slide down so they're low on her hips. "Why?"
"Food," she laughs, and he hums again. Honestly, he's acting like he's still half asleep. "I made french toast."
He pulls away fast and his face is so lit up that he looks like a little boy as he says, "I love french toast."
The fact that she can still find him so incredibly adorable after the other things he's made her feel lets her know that she probably likes him a little more than she's wanted to admit. It doesn't frighten her.
Monday at school, they share a brief conversation in the hallway before one of his students comes and asks to speak to him about a geography assignment, and Finn doesn't say he'll see her later, but it wouldn't have been necessary anyway. No, they don't have plans after work or anything, and yes, she's got a lunchtime glee rehearsal, but she just assumes they'll talk at some point. It's honestly really nice to not worry and wonder about that kind of thing. She used to stress out if a man wouldn't commit to times and places she could write down and hold him to. She doesn't feel that way with Finn, and she really believes it's because she trusts him, and also because they were friends - fairly good ones, she'd say, even if most of their interactions took place at work - before they ever got together.
She's grading papers at her desk after school when someone says, "So," from the doorway, and she looks up to see Santana leaning against the frame with her arms crossed.
"Don't."
"Don't what?"
Rachel sighs and Santana comes into the office and shuts the door. "You obviously know."
"Obviously. Finn gets this really hilarious 'just laid' look on his face." Santana sits down across from the desk and crosses her legs. "Seriously, though. You guys are good?"
"We are, thank you," Rachel says, and goes back to her marking.
"That's actually all you're giving me?"
"Yes."
It's quiet for a moment, and Rachel looks up just to make sure Santana isn't upset with her, even though she has no right to be anyway.
"You're just lucky I don't have a shitty, sexless marriage that makes me live vicariously though my single friends or whatever."
Rachel laughs, then says, "I'm not single," and Santana's grin widens. "Unless you mean single as unmarried."
"When the hell did this thing between you two get all serious?"
Rachel says, "I don't know," simply because she doesn't want Santana to laugh at her for saying it's been serious all along, before they even went on their first date.
"All right," is all Santana says, then stands up and heads for the door. "I'm gonna go home and have sex with my husband."
Rachel laughs, mostly because she knows Santana isn't lying, and also because she has no idea how the woman is so bold about her sex life, even here, at school. Obviously there are no students around, and they were behind a closed door, but still.
When Rachel leaves for the day, she goes straight home and makes herself some dinner, then curls up with a book and some mindless television she's not really paying attention to. Finn texts her a goodnight and says he's got to be up early for practice in the morning.
She does miss him in her bed as she tries to fall asleep, but it's not as though she needs him there with her or anything.
She wouldn't mind, of course.
... ... ...
He and Rachel decided to go for a walk because, well, they've been inside all day and Rachel said that's not acceptable. She wasn't really complaining when they were in bed and he was kissing the inside of her thigh the way she likes. He's just saying.
He's seriously got this fascination with watching her get dressed. It's so weird. She doesn't mind, though. There's just something really beautiful about the way she pulls her panties up her legs and smoothes them out on her hips once they're on, and how she always wears these little tank tops under her sweaters. It's really cold outside and it's going to snow like, any second, and she pulls on this pair of thick socks to wear inside her boots.
He's honestly falling so in love with her it's ridiculous. She's the best person he's ever met in his life, though, and he thinks he's doing a really good job of keeping her happy and interested in him, too. The other day he totally caught her staring at him as he marked papers and she sat next to him on his couch. When he asked what was up, she blushed and said 'nothing', so yeah. He thinks she's falling, too, and thank god.
Without even thinking, he slips his arm around her waist as they walk through her neighbourhood. It's not a big deal; a lot of their colleagues know they're together. Rachel's met his family. They aren't some secret thing, or whatever, and it doesn't matter if people see them together every once in a while. He's never really been a huge fan of PDA anyway, so they don't usually do this kind of thing.
Their students don't know, though. Which is why, when they're walking along the sidewalk and start approaching this house where Kingsley and Laura are goofing around with a football on the front lawn, well...
Finn doesn't want to pull his arm away and look guilty, and whatever. They've already been seen anyway.
"Coach," Kingsley says, with this grin on his face that Finn can't say he's a huge fan of. "Ms. B."
"Hi, Kingsley. I thought you lived...Oh." Rachel stops talking when she realizes that no, Kingsley doesn't live here. "Laura, you..."
"My dad lives here," the girl offers, sort of timidly, like she wishes this wasn't happening. She's feeling like Finn is, then. "I spend every second weekend with him."
Rachel smiles, then, and grips the back of Finn's coat, like she's too excited and doesn't want all that pouring out of her right now.
"Are you two...You're..."
Kingsley laughs a bit, and then slips his arm around Laura's waist. She just pushes a bit of her hair behind her ear as she looks to the ground, then to Kingsley. "We're keeping it kind of quiet."
Rachel doesn't even hesitate before saying, "So are we."
It's Laura who laughs this time. "We've all kind of assumed you two were, um." She shrugs her shoulder. "Together."
"Seriously?" Finn asks, because he thought for sure he'd hear of rumours going around about him. Hell, he's heard them about almost every kid at the school, by this point.
"Dude, you stare," Kingsley says, and Rachel laughs.
"I do not!" Finn argues. "I don't stare." Rachel just looks up at him doubtfully, like she's noticed it, too. "Whatever. What are you doing with that ball?" He grabs it from Kingsley and spins it in his hands a few times. "Maybe you should work on that play you keep messing up in practice."
He starts jogging back down the sidewalk in the direction of Rachel's place, and she's just standing there with the kids, laughing. Finn pumps the ball a couple times so Kingsley'll get ready to catch it, and then he stops running and throws a perfect pass to his student. Kingsley catches it easily and Rachel says goodbye to the kids, then walks towards him and links her arm through his.
"Everyone's going to know now."
"They won't say anything," she promises him, and he wants to believe her, but they're still teenagers. "They're dating in secret. I don't know how I didn't see that."
He doesn't know what to say to that, so he just keeps walking, keeps thinking about how that was the shortest walk ever and he really doesn't mind that they'll be back in the warmth of her house. They'll curl up on the sofa with a blanket and a movie, because that's what she always wants to do when she's cold and they don't have other things to do. He seriously doesn't mind the way she presses herself all up against his side and he gets to keep his arm around her.
She pulls her keys from her coat pocket and he watches her as she unlocks the door, then push it open. She laughs at something, and he wants to know what it is.
She says, "You're staring."
He says, "I don't stare."
She kisses him right before she pats his cheek gently. "Yes, you do, honey," and he stops remembering why he cares if she knows that he wants to spend so much of his time looking at her.