"Everybody knows it hurts to grow up, and everybody does."
The other day, my classes ended eariler and I left school. My friends at GC were not out of there classes, but it was my day off, I could of waited. I didn't, I decided to go to groceries, but I was hungry. Food first, then groceries. I went to Subway and ordered alone, sat alone and ate alone.
There I realized how alone my life is. I go to classes, do my work and talk to maybe two people. Work, it's the same. I talk to more people at church, which is nice.
I'm so angry on the inside because I stayed. I feel sometimes like I stayed for the wrong reasons or maybe that I shouldn't of stayed. The distance might of made it better for me and jacob because we'd crave to see each other, instead of now when we see each other we barely talk.
I miss my parents so much.
I feel like i don't have a family anymore.
I used to eat at that subway with Dad. Or Crystal, or lori or Jacob. But most of the time I eat there alone.
I don't like that. I want to change that, i want to beat up a tree to make it different. I'd give anything for my parents to still live here.
It's hard to pay bills.
To keep up with all the little things.
I don't even have money for a christmas tree. I have a lil' fake tree that Lori made. It's been in our living room for two months, i miss them that much.
Josh and I hangout maybe once a month, when he gives in and realizes that he needs to be with family sometimes too. Everytime we do though, is worth the wait.
I cried the other day at work because I put up the Gift Shop Christmas Tree Alone. The last Christmas I was with Dad&Lori for Christmas was two years ago.
I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. Jesus was born, a miracle birth, now i get to talk with God - I like Christmas, good message. I never thought that i'd be the type of person to start hating christmas, because it shows you just how lonely you are.
After thinking all of this at subway. Then I went next door to CVS and looked for Jacob's birthday card, alone. Then I went to HEB, but decided that Wal-mart sounded better. I spent to much money because i was upset. I saw my Pastor and Mama Chris there though, like five times. It showed that i'm not as alone as I think or feel, there are people who love me. They are there I just sometimes have to go to them, or run into them at Wal-mart when i need it.
Finals are here.
No one lied- College is hard.
There I realized how alone my life is. I go to classes, do my work and talk to maybe two people. Work, it's the same. I talk to more people at church, which is nice.
I'm so angry on the inside because I stayed. I feel sometimes like I stayed for the wrong reasons or maybe that I shouldn't of stayed. The distance might of made it better for me and jacob because we'd crave to see each other, instead of now when we see each other we barely talk.
I miss my parents so much.
I feel like i don't have a family anymore.
I used to eat at that subway with Dad. Or Crystal, or lori or Jacob. But most of the time I eat there alone.
I don't like that. I want to change that, i want to beat up a tree to make it different. I'd give anything for my parents to still live here.
It's hard to pay bills.
To keep up with all the little things.
I don't even have money for a christmas tree. I have a lil' fake tree that Lori made. It's been in our living room for two months, i miss them that much.
Josh and I hangout maybe once a month, when he gives in and realizes that he needs to be with family sometimes too. Everytime we do though, is worth the wait.
I cried the other day at work because I put up the Gift Shop Christmas Tree Alone. The last Christmas I was with Dad&Lori for Christmas was two years ago.
I love Christmas, don't get me wrong. Jesus was born, a miracle birth, now i get to talk with God - I like Christmas, good message. I never thought that i'd be the type of person to start hating christmas, because it shows you just how lonely you are.
After thinking all of this at subway. Then I went next door to CVS and looked for Jacob's birthday card, alone. Then I went to HEB, but decided that Wal-mart sounded better. I spent to much money because i was upset. I saw my Pastor and Mama Chris there though, like five times. It showed that i'm not as alone as I think or feel, there are people who love me. They are there I just sometimes have to go to them, or run into them at Wal-mart when i need it.
Finals are here.
No one lied- College is hard.