I can see alot of life in you.

[smashedruby]

I knew today wouldnt turn out the way things were planned.

I swam across lake michigan. I tied my shoes.

I'd give my body to be back again. In the rest of the room.

To be alone with you.

To be alone with you.

To be alone with you.

To be alone.

With.

You.

You gave your body to the lonely. They took your clothes. You gave up a wife and a family. You gave your ghost. To be alone with me. To be alone with me.

Is it too much to ask?
I understand that my body is riddled with scars and imperfections. I dont know why this particular slice has left such an impression. I guess we all want what we cant have. Although sometimes I feel like the tissue they've cut out was the source of my faith. Faith in things to come and what it means to be a person faith. What the world was supposed to be like.

As of late the world sucks. Its full of people who I thought were my friends but turns out they arent. People who I thought would call me on days like today that didnt. It makes me remember nights cold and long in a basement by lake michigan and almost makes me want to be back there again. Because at least back there I had a sense of self and I knew who I was and where I was going.

Now all I feel is a sense of urgency to keep going and tears welling up in my eyes.