☭ один [1] -- TEXT, ACTION

[musthatefrogs]

* * * * * * Attn Students, Co-Workers, Interested Parties: * * * * * *

I am back teaching at your facility. My area of expertise, if you so remember me, will be "Culinary Arts". It carries an emphasis in Russian cooking around the late 19th, early 20th century. If you are not willing to accept the knowledge of my people so generously offered, then

Comments

[text]

[badasscopters]

Not a good idea to just throw your e-mail willy-nilly.

Dunno what the brats might send you.

[or him, he might send dicks]

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[musthatefrogs]

They can send me what they please.

If I don't like it, I will send myself over. I have dormitory listings.

[Luckily, Volgin swings both ways, but you don't smother yourself in honey and tell the bears off either.]

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[badasscopters]

Might get a long list of visits then. Hope you don't get too tired on your first day back.

[... Does chocolate sauce work instead?]

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[musthatefrogs]

I could do with the exercise.

[Are you sure about this, Goose?]

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[badasscopters]

[When is he not sure about dickery?]

Right. Good attitude.

So where'd you run off to anyway?

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[musthatefrogs]

[Welp, at least you're allowed the lube of your choice. :D]

[Volgin rolled his thumb along the communicator, thinking of a reply.]

Going to and fro in the Earth, and walking up and down in it.

[Sounded fairly correct. And perhaps somewhat appropriate.]

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[badasscopters]

Hey, never thought you'd be much of a traveler. Where'd you go?

[He kind of wanted him to speak of Holiday, but he doubted he went there.

... yeah because if you, the volginator, choose, it'll be blood]

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[musthatefrogs]

[He had been somewhere else. Disclosure? Well, he's not sure about that.

Boy, I like how you think! HOW DID YOU KNOW?]

Silly boy. You forget I served in the Red Army. I was stationed in my fair share of places.

I am no stranger to traveling again, as I had to.

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[badasscopters]

[maybe i learned that when i was in bed with raikov one drunken night

OHHHHHHHHHHH SNAP]

Oh. Right. Army things. Not like I'd know- my military sanction runs kinda different.

[The islands in his place of the world knew peace pretty decently anyway. Well, when robots aren't attacking and legions of dicks weren't flailing their goods around (in the way Goose actually didn't like).]

Sure it was some kind of time you had there.

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[musthatefrogs]

[GODDAMN WHO HASN'T SLEPT WITH IVAN THESE DAYS HE'S STILL MAJOR HOTDOG-IN-A-RECTAL-HALLWAY I SWEAR]

Sorry. Refresh my memory. I had a lot of things to keep track of since I left.

We can put it that way.

[Actually, his memory isn't the sharpest these days (nor is mine). Don't worry, though, Goose. When it comes to flailing goods about, he still has a portable nuke that you might find interesting.

Oh baby.

Not that that is the most foremost thing on his mind at the moment, surprisingly.]

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[badasscopters]

[wait that was my title he better not be stealing my thunder]

Let's saaaaaay... we don't get to travel much. We ain't in much worldly affairs. We do get robot invasions that we've gotta take care of, though.

[He says that as if it isn't extraordinary or insane at all.]

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[musthatefrogs]

[I think everything has been explained to me. 8Ia]

They do not send men but *robots*?

[Yeah, that is a little weird, but he sort of died before the likes of automated warfare. He is still getting used to the idea, but don't count on him to trust a machine to fire a gun when the one in the teacher's lounge can't make a cup of decent coffee.]

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[badasscopters]

Yep. Too bad they can't fight for shit, though, at the hands of people, eh?

[He has to agree. He hardly trusts these kinds of robots. As for his robo-prejudice in general, since his little Wuhu trek, he has kind of gotten used to the nicer ones.]