In which Nabooru became the worst influence ever.
Who: Nabooru, you, you, you, some more you's, oh - maybe you, too
When: Oct. 14 - Evening ~ Late Night
What: It's a shindig. No, seriously. Nabs wanted everyone to get together for drinks. (And she's inconspicuously trying to force Byrne into being more sociable.) And by everyone, we do mean everyone of age.
Where: This... here tavern in FDC. No, ( Read more... )
When: Oct. 14 - Evening ~ Late Night
What: It's a shindig. No, seriously. Nabs wanted everyone to get together for drinks. (And she's inconspicuously trying to force Byrne into being more sociable.) And by everyone, we do mean everyone of age.
Where: This... here tavern in FDC. No, ( Read more... )
Care to approach?
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"Well, well, well, if it isn't bird-brain. How're you doing?" Wario had his stupid nickname for Goose, but in actuality, this was probably the nicest he'd been to anyone.
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"Bird-brain, eh? Now I need to think of a name for the throat that could handle... I dunno, maybe a hundred dicks."
Ooh. Ooooooooh. He went there.
"Anyway, I'm doing just fine. How's about you?"
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"That's disgusting, you freak!" Wario made a very repulsed face and then took an unorthodox gulp of his Millionairess.
"Bleh. Well. I'm fine. Happy to get a free drink!" He didn't mention that Nabooru was not fond of him, though.
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"Then I guess," he began, a finger trailing down the neck of his glass. "I must be the nastiest person alive."
... The implications of that are pretty obvious, although he reeled for quality, not quantity. Surge's dick is all he needs. And this is really more than what anyone needed to know about his sex life.
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Wario didn't exactly get the entendre behind Goose's next comment, so he merely said, "Yeah, you sure are if you go around saying stuff like that! Geez! Ha ha ha!" He was a little tipsy, so things were funnier to him now.
At least Wario was more polite than certain face-scarf-wearing individuals. That's really saying something.
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"Yep. I bet I could even suck more dicks at one time than yoooooou~."
... yeah, he's a little tipsy already.
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Wario said this with a raised voice, and probably other people in the bar heard and turned heads. Good job, Wario. The whole world now knows he's never sucked any dicks.
Okay now this conversation was weird. Why was Goose talking about dick-sucking? Wario didn't particularly care if anyone he knew was gay - everyone was a loser just the same, regardless of orientation. However, Wario was not gay. At all. And the thought of having male genitalia in his mouth was really disgusting.
Wario normally would not have rolled with this conversation, but he was on his third drink or so by now - a very potent drink.
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Time to turn this around to make himself look better and to make Wario look horrible. Joy!
"Well, tell me that when I ain't watching you on my cameras, sucking a reaaaaaally real-looking dildo."
Was this true? Not at all. Was Goose pretending it was? Absolutely. Why? He's a dick himself. Yes.
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Maybe he was eating a hotdog suggestively, though, and Goose mistook that for a dildo. Maybe. That's still gross.
Wario was the king of disgusting, but even he had standards.
He regained his composure and chugged the rest of his drink. "HEY! ANOTHER MILLIONAIRESS OVER HERE!" he shouted to the bartender, banging on the wooden surface of the table.
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On a serious note...
"Sheesh," commented Goose, leaning over and trying not to inhale while doing so. He didn't need that scent amongst the aroma of glorious liquor. "You're gonna need more than that if you wanna score a man tonight."
He really wasn't going to stop.
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However, he realized that his drinks probably weren't potent enough indeed. If he was going to put up with all this talk of gross male genitals, he might as well be drunk.
"But fine, I'll get something stronger. What do you recommend?"
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Then the pilot paused, noticing something far better than just a simple scotch drink. Oh. This could be good.
"... or instead, how about that?" He gestured to a bottle of the absinthe on the shelf.
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Wario was going to get very drunk, oh yes. Probably puke-sick drunk. Hopefully he wouldn't need his gargantuan stomach pumped.
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"I'll pay for this one," offered Goose, handing the money to the barkeep. It would be worth every penny. This stuff wasn't exactly cheap for the alcoholic potency, as one bottle of this stuff could really last a while. He requested for the bartender to pour an entire mug of it, as if trying to make it seem less intimidating.
He was pulling all the stops here, wasn't he? All at poor Wario's expense. Sheesh. Here's hoping Wario didn't catch the puzzled look the man behind the counter gave them. That look that said that they were insane for wanting one of his largest mugs filled with pure, pristine absinthe on the rocks.
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Wario gripped the mug, and although something in the pit of his core told him that maybe he should be careful, he didn't want to look like a wimp. Especially not in front of Goose, who destroyed his pride by building a better sandcastle.
So, he chugged the liquid, and then stopped, immediately realizing how damned potent this drink was due to its taste.
"What the hell did you give me, bird-brain?"
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