Who: Max, Jake, Vinnie, Goose, Mac, perhaps special guest stars Miller/Liquid Snake or other sundry folk who have the misfortune to run across them
What: Boot Camp
Where: Outside
When: 4am. The date is immaterial.
Warnings: Vinnie has a potty mouth.
(
HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNGH )
Or no, not at all, no.
But finally, finally the sun has peeked its head over the edge of the world and there's enough light to see. Which is good, because now you're doing a short obstacle course.
"LISTEN UP, I'M ONLY EXPLAININ' THIS ONCE. YOU ALL HAVE A LITTLE OBSTACLE COURSE TO RUN THROUGH. ONLY SIX THINGS. PIECE OF CAKE. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DOIN' IT FIVE TIMES THROUGH."
Max pointed to where, overnight, constructions made out of logs and ropes had mushroomed up on the field.
( ... )
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But the sun was up, finally. The haze was lifting from his brain as he absorbed the light - the Venusaur could feel some sort of second wind coming on.
Forget this shirt business, it was just covering up skin. OFF IT GOES. C'MON CHLOROPHYLL, HELLO TATTOOS AND SCARS.
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BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS WATER NOTHING HAS TASTED BETTER IN ALL HIS LIFE.
He practically downed the entire bottle in one go and restored 50 HP before he gasped, "...Thanks."
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"Did you say you had bacon and eggs here someplace?"
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And then he was wandering back to the sidelines, giving Vinnie a huge thumbs up and grin. "You can do it, Vinnie! Sun is almost up! You're gonna make this look easy!!"
Because, Dear Maximillion Justice Powers, encouragement could be just as nourishing as Bacon and Eggs. Or water. Probably more like water than bacon.
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He stared at Max in disbelief, but there was no questioning him once the Commanderman made an order. Fine. The shirt went back on. He got some ambient light through the rest of his skin at least. But one day he'd have to get it into Max's head that photosynthesis didn't work the way he thought it worked.
If he passed out on the course it was going to be your fault.
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Maybe if you'd invest more in tank tops, you wouldn't have this problem, anyway.
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Maybe you should buy some more tank tops with him.
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Well maybe he'll just have to go make you buy some tank tops, then, so you can show off your guns and also arm tattoos.
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No matter if Max's was fifty thousand times more brutal.
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Where was Goose. Was he still doing those pushups. That was like an hour ago.
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This is much better. Goose bolted for that obstacle course in an instant. High step over? Easy. No log to the crotch there. Swinger? Also easy. This felt much more like the difficulty of things in his neck of the woods, that's for sure.
Low wire, though?
"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow ow ow. Hey! Ow."
Well, at least it was good up until then.
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