Comments | smash_logs: MOVE IT! MOVE IT! ARE YOU MEN OR ARE YOU FRESHLY WEANED BABES? MAX'S BOOT CAMP OF PHYSICAL EXERTION!

tank_rockarms in smash_logs

MOVE IT! MOVE IT! ARE YOU MEN OR ARE YOU FRESHLY WEANED BABES? MAX'S BOOT CAMP OF PHYSICAL EXERTION!

Jul 15, 2011 19:08

Who: Max, Jake, Vinnie, Goose, Mac, perhaps special guest stars Miller/Liquid Snake or other sundry folk who have the misfortune to run across them
What: Boot Camp
Where: Outside
When: 4am. The date is immaterial.
Warnings: Vinnie has a potty mouth.

( HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNGH )

!rp log, little mac (punch out), vinnie/venusaur (pokemon), jake (advance wars), goose (pilotwings), max (advance wars)

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OBSTICAL COURSE tank_rockarms July 18 2011, 02:32:30 UTC

Wow you guys sure are doing great at running.

Or no, not at all, no.

But finally, finally the sun has peeked its head over the edge of the world and there's enough light to see. Which is good, because now you're doing a short obstacle course.

"LISTEN UP, I'M ONLY EXPLAININ' THIS ONCE. YOU ALL HAVE A LITTLE OBSTACLE COURSE TO RUN THROUGH. ONLY SIX THINGS. PIECE OF CAKE. THAT'S WHY YOU'RE DOIN' IT FIVE TIMES THROUGH."

Max pointed to where, overnight, constructions made out of logs and ropes had mushroomed up on the field.

( ... )

LET'S DO THIS THING punchtheflowers July 18 2011, 02:59:34 UTC

Okay. Okay, Vinnie was panting and sweating and felt like death warmed over. He couldn't even swear, it only came out in dry wheezing.

But the sun was up, finally. The haze was lifting from his brain as he absorbed the light - the Venusaur could feel some sort of second wind coming on.

Forget this shirt business, it was just covering up skin. OFF IT GOES. C'MON CHLOROPHYLL, HELLO TATTOOS AND SCARS.

Re: LET'S DO THIS THING orangestarbeats July 18 2011, 03:00:23 UTC

Jake offered him a water bottle.

YOU ARE A MIRACLE punchtheflowers July 18 2011, 03:06:48 UTC

Was that a hint of desperation as Vinnie reached for water? GOD YES YOU ARE HIS FAVOURITE PERSON IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW.

BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS WATER NOTHING HAS TASTED BETTER IN ALL HIS LIFE.

He practically downed the entire bottle in one go and restored 50 HP before he gasped, "...Thanks."

Re: YOU ARE A MIRACLE orangestarbeats July 18 2011, 03:11:56 UTC

"No prob. Good luck, bra," Jake replied.

Re: YOU ARE A MIRACLE tank_rockarms July 18 2011, 03:13:04 UTC

"I AIN'T RUNNIN' A PEEP SHOW," Max yelled at Vinnie. "PUT YOUR SHIRT BACK ON. AND YEAH I KNOW IT'S BREAKFAST TIME BUT THEY AIN'T HAD BREAKFAST SO IT AIN'T FAIR IF YOU RUN AROUND AND HAVE YOUR CUP OF COFFEE AND YOUR BACON AND EGGS WHILE THEY GET NOTHIN.'"

Re: YOU ARE A MIRACLE punchtheflute July 18 2011, 03:17:42 UTC

Suddenly, like a good neighbor, Sonny was there.

"Did you say you had bacon and eggs here someplace?"

Re: YOU ARE A MIRACLE tank_rockarms July 18 2011, 03:23:58 UTC

"K-RATIONS AT 0800 HOURS," said Max. This was like three hours away. "YOU CAN HAVE VINNIE'S IF HE DON'T WANT IT."

Re: YOU ARE A MIRACLE punchtheflute July 18 2011, 03:27:39 UTC

"Oh. OK Max! Thank you!"

And then he was wandering back to the sidelines, giving Vinnie a huge thumbs up and grin. "You can do it, Vinnie! Sun is almost up! You're gonna make this look easy!!"

Because, Dear Maximillion Justice Powers, encouragement could be just as nourishing as Bacon and Eggs. Or water. Probably more like water than bacon.

s-sob punchtheflowers July 18 2011, 03:33:58 UTC

Flatly, the Venusaur confirmed: "I don't eat bacon and eggs."

He stared at Max in disbelief, but there was no questioning him once the Commanderman made an order. Fine. The shirt went back on. He got some ambient light through the rest of his skin at least. But one day he'd have to get it into Max's head that photosynthesis didn't work the way he thought it worked.

If he passed out on the course it was going to be your fault.

Re: s-sob tank_rockarms July 18 2011, 03:44:41 UTC

Your big fat head is uncovered. You're getting sunlight on your face. Stop being a giant baby made out of tears and babies, Vinnie.

Maybe if you'd invest more in tank tops, you wouldn't have this problem, anyway.

Re: s-sob punchtheflowers July 18 2011, 03:48:56 UTC

JUST BECAUSE HIS HAIR LOOKS LIKE LEAVES DOESN'T MEAN THEY'RE REAL LEAVES. THEY DON'T WORK LIKE THAT.

Maybe you should buy some more tank tops with him.

Re: s-sob tank_rockarms July 18 2011, 03:55:21 UTC

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR SUNSHINE WHEN EVERYONE ELSE CAN HAVE BREAKFAST, YOU INGRATE.

Well maybe he'll just have to go make you buy some tank tops, then, so you can show off your guns and also arm tattoos.

boxingmidget July 18 2011, 12:51:58 UTC

Bacon and eggs. Mac could really go for some bacon and eggs right now. This would be usually around the hour he ate breakfast on any normal day. A short distance away was Mac sweating and panting. But he was still standing?? For now?? He was just. Quiet. He never complained during Doc's ruthless training sessions and he's not willing to give in to Max's.

No matter if Max's was fifty thousand times more brutal.

tank_rockarms July 20 2011, 15:57:56 UTC

"HURRY UP AND GET TO THE SWINGER ALREADY!" Max called. "OR DO YOU NEED ME TO SHOW YOU HOW TO WALK OVER LOGS THE RIGHT WAY?"

Where was Goose. Was he still doing those pushups. That was like an hour ago.

Re: OBSTICAL COURSE badasscopters July 23 2011, 02:33:30 UTC

"Piece of goddamn cake."

This is much better. Goose bolted for that obstacle course in an instant. High step over? Easy. No log to the crotch there. Swinger? Also easy. This felt much more like the difficulty of things in his neck of the woods, that's for sure.

Low wire, though?

"Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow ow ow. Hey! Ow."

Well, at least it was good up until then.

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