(no subject)
Title: Reminders
Fandom: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own them
A/N: This is a Hannah-verse fic set just after Alex gets out of WPP.
A/N 2: Sorry for the delay. My personal life got uber hectic and then I lost my comp. Still out of commission and I had to hijack my parents' and screw with formatting so hopefully things are in order now and I can post more regularly.
A/N 3: As always, HUGE thanks to cherokee62 for her help with this series.
Alex could feel her shoulders hunching forward slightly as she trudged down the hall to her apartment. It had been a long day to say the least. She’d only been back a few weeks and already she was loaded down with cases. On top of that, she had to help keep an eye on the other ADAs in the bureau and make sure they knew what they were doing and did it well. For the most part, at least, they seemed pretty promising. It wasn’t going to be too much of a hassle working with them. As long as they got their attitudes in check anyway.
She unlocked her apartment door, hearing the faint sounds of the television coming from the living room.
She set her purse and keys on the table by the door and headed in that direction.
Mona was seated on the couch, watching the news while her foot gently rocked Hannah’s cradle. She was a tiny woman in her 60s who lived in Alex’s building. She’d retired a few years ago and her own children were all grown and had moved away. When she’d found out that Alex was a single working mother, she’d immediately offered to help out with the baby whenever Alex needed it. Despite Alex’s efforts, the woman still refused to take a dime from her. Alex usually tried to make up for it by asking her if she needed anything whenever she was headed to the grocery store. Today she’d had to call her up to ask her to pick up Hannah from daycare because she’d stayed over two hours late at the office just trying to make her way through her mountains of work.
“Hey, Mona.” Alex said. “How was she?”
Mona shut off the television and rose from the couch. “An angel as always, Alex. You should consider yourself lucky you have such a quiet child. None of mine were ever this quiet.” She gazed at the younger woman for a moment. “You look tired. Do you need me to put on a pot of tea or anything before I go?”
“No, thank you though.” Alex smiled softly. “Thanks for watching her.”
Mona nodded. “Any time.” She left the apartment quietly.
Alex gazed down at her daughter, just watching her sleep for a moment before she finally made her way to the kitchen. The answering machine was blinking so she pressed the button as she prepared water for her tea. Once Mona had suggested it, it had actually started to sound like a pretty good idea. She only hoped the screeching of the kettle wouldn’t wake Hannah.
The first message on the machine was something about a check up for Hannah. She’d almost forgotten. That was the reason she’d stayed late at work, because she’d be going in late in the morning to be able to take Hannah to her check up first. Thank God for answering machines.
She sighed and went back to the living room to get Hannah from her cradle as Jim’s voice on the machine reminded her of a meeting the next afternoon. Maybe if she transferred Hannah to her crib and shut the door, she wouldn’t hear the kettle when it finished.
She’d only made it a few steps into the living room when she heard the third message start.
“Hey Alex…” Olivia said, her voice quiet. Alex swallowed hard and went back into the kitchen, staring at the answering machine as Olivia continued. “I just heard from Casey that you were back. She found out through the courtroom grapevine. I guess that thing is moving slower these days. Word is you’ve been back a few weeks. Anyways… I uhm… I miss you. And I wanted to see if everything was okay. Must be nice to be Alex again. Maybe we can get together for coffee or dinner or something and catch up. I’d really like to see you. Call me.” There was a pause. “Please?”
Alex stared at the answering machine, eyes wide and brimming with tears. She swallowed hard and reached a shaky hand towards the phone. She’d just barely picked it up from the cradle before her nerves got the best of her and she slammed it down again. She pressed play on the machine, skipping over the first two messages.
“Hey Alex…” Olivia’s voice began again before Alex’s finger slammed down on the delete button.
She kept her finger there for a long moment as if erasing it from her machine would just erase the fact that it had even been left in the first place.
Her machine made an angry beeping sound at her and she snapped out of her daze, moving her finger quickly.
Olivia. She knew she should have been expecting the call. It was only a matter of time. But at the same time, she’d buried herself in work these past few weeks, allowed herself to believe that this was just another move in Witness Protection, that no one really cared about her existence and they never would.
She’d thought about Olivia, thought about calling her up, sobbing, telling her she was home, begging her to come over and just hold her and take away all the pain of the months they’d been apart.
But then she’d hear the gunshots in her head and her mind would take off, memory after memory hitting her full force until she was nearly hyperventilating, clinging to her pillow just to keep herself grounded.
And then there was Hannah. How was she supposed to explain Hannah? This tiny, living, breathing proof that Alex had tried to make a life without Olivia. Hannah was an accident. The relationship that had made her most certainly was not.
The tea pot shrieked behind her and Alex jumped. She hastened to it and quickly moved it to the other burner. She gasped loudly as her finger accidently brushed against burning metal, realizing her efforts were futile anyway as Hannah wailed from the living room. The tears that had been threatening to fall finally spilled down her cheeks.
“I’m coming, Hannah.” Alex called out as her daughter screamed louder. She turned on the cold water full blast and held her finger under the stream. “I’ll be there in just a second, Baby.” She held her finger under the water a moment longer before finally shutting it off and running out to get her child.
She scooped Hannah up, rocking her gently in her arms. “Shh, Hannah, shh. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
The girl continued to scream.
“I know, Baby, I know. I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I know.”
Hannah only cried harder.
Alex felt the weariness burying itself deeper into her bones.
Fandom: SVU
Pairing: Alex/Olivia
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't own them
A/N: This is a Hannah-verse fic set just after Alex gets out of WPP.
A/N 2: Sorry for the delay. My personal life got uber hectic and then I lost my comp. Still out of commission and I had to hijack my parents' and screw with formatting so hopefully things are in order now and I can post more regularly.
A/N 3: As always, HUGE thanks to cherokee62 for her help with this series.
Alex could feel her shoulders hunching forward slightly as she trudged down the hall to her apartment. It had been a long day to say the least. She’d only been back a few weeks and already she was loaded down with cases. On top of that, she had to help keep an eye on the other ADAs in the bureau and make sure they knew what they were doing and did it well. For the most part, at least, they seemed pretty promising. It wasn’t going to be too much of a hassle working with them. As long as they got their attitudes in check anyway.
She unlocked her apartment door, hearing the faint sounds of the television coming from the living room.
She set her purse and keys on the table by the door and headed in that direction.
Mona was seated on the couch, watching the news while her foot gently rocked Hannah’s cradle. She was a tiny woman in her 60s who lived in Alex’s building. She’d retired a few years ago and her own children were all grown and had moved away. When she’d found out that Alex was a single working mother, she’d immediately offered to help out with the baby whenever Alex needed it. Despite Alex’s efforts, the woman still refused to take a dime from her. Alex usually tried to make up for it by asking her if she needed anything whenever she was headed to the grocery store. Today she’d had to call her up to ask her to pick up Hannah from daycare because she’d stayed over two hours late at the office just trying to make her way through her mountains of work.
“Hey, Mona.” Alex said. “How was she?”
Mona shut off the television and rose from the couch. “An angel as always, Alex. You should consider yourself lucky you have such a quiet child. None of mine were ever this quiet.” She gazed at the younger woman for a moment. “You look tired. Do you need me to put on a pot of tea or anything before I go?”
“No, thank you though.” Alex smiled softly. “Thanks for watching her.”
Mona nodded. “Any time.” She left the apartment quietly.
Alex gazed down at her daughter, just watching her sleep for a moment before she finally made her way to the kitchen. The answering machine was blinking so she pressed the button as she prepared water for her tea. Once Mona had suggested it, it had actually started to sound like a pretty good idea. She only hoped the screeching of the kettle wouldn’t wake Hannah.
The first message on the machine was something about a check up for Hannah. She’d almost forgotten. That was the reason she’d stayed late at work, because she’d be going in late in the morning to be able to take Hannah to her check up first. Thank God for answering machines.
She sighed and went back to the living room to get Hannah from her cradle as Jim’s voice on the machine reminded her of a meeting the next afternoon. Maybe if she transferred Hannah to her crib and shut the door, she wouldn’t hear the kettle when it finished.
She’d only made it a few steps into the living room when she heard the third message start.
“Hey Alex…” Olivia said, her voice quiet. Alex swallowed hard and went back into the kitchen, staring at the answering machine as Olivia continued. “I just heard from Casey that you were back. She found out through the courtroom grapevine. I guess that thing is moving slower these days. Word is you’ve been back a few weeks. Anyways… I uhm… I miss you. And I wanted to see if everything was okay. Must be nice to be Alex again. Maybe we can get together for coffee or dinner or something and catch up. I’d really like to see you. Call me.” There was a pause. “Please?”
Alex stared at the answering machine, eyes wide and brimming with tears. She swallowed hard and reached a shaky hand towards the phone. She’d just barely picked it up from the cradle before her nerves got the best of her and she slammed it down again. She pressed play on the machine, skipping over the first two messages.
“Hey Alex…” Olivia’s voice began again before Alex’s finger slammed down on the delete button.
She kept her finger there for a long moment as if erasing it from her machine would just erase the fact that it had even been left in the first place.
Her machine made an angry beeping sound at her and she snapped out of her daze, moving her finger quickly.
Olivia. She knew she should have been expecting the call. It was only a matter of time. But at the same time, she’d buried herself in work these past few weeks, allowed herself to believe that this was just another move in Witness Protection, that no one really cared about her existence and they never would.
She’d thought about Olivia, thought about calling her up, sobbing, telling her she was home, begging her to come over and just hold her and take away all the pain of the months they’d been apart.
But then she’d hear the gunshots in her head and her mind would take off, memory after memory hitting her full force until she was nearly hyperventilating, clinging to her pillow just to keep herself grounded.
And then there was Hannah. How was she supposed to explain Hannah? This tiny, living, breathing proof that Alex had tried to make a life without Olivia. Hannah was an accident. The relationship that had made her most certainly was not.
The tea pot shrieked behind her and Alex jumped. She hastened to it and quickly moved it to the other burner. She gasped loudly as her finger accidently brushed against burning metal, realizing her efforts were futile anyway as Hannah wailed from the living room. The tears that had been threatening to fall finally spilled down her cheeks.
“I’m coming, Hannah.” Alex called out as her daughter screamed louder. She turned on the cold water full blast and held her finger under the stream. “I’ll be there in just a second, Baby.” She held her finger under the water a moment longer before finally shutting it off and running out to get her child.
She scooped Hannah up, rocking her gently in her arms. “Shh, Hannah, shh. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”
The girl continued to scream.
“I know, Baby, I know. I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I know.”
Hannah only cried harder.
Alex felt the weariness burying itself deeper into her bones.