this is so leighann has something new to read
so i went to my mother's. today. decided to go yesterday. it was perhaps not the best idea, but i figured this would be as good a time as any to just force myself back into it. it'll all turn into a fight, it just won't happen until i've left already, and it'll be behind everyone's back and indirect like it always is.
the bus ride was good. it was the best transportation experience i've had to my mother's in a while. considering i always get caught in holiday traffic after JUST making the bus anyway. we had time to chill before getting on the bus, and it was late besides that. the trip wasn't that long. it's been kinda weird since arriving though. they didn't put the other bench seat in the van, so i had to sit on the floor in the back.
we got here and ate. my mother barely said anything to me, and looked like she was ready for me to start screaming at her at any moment. erin let on that after dinner, when she'd claimed the tv for laguna beach, and we went out, that it was an outing to smoke the drugs, so i'm sure my mother must be thinking mile high thoughts about me right now. and then all the dogs barked when we came in and wouldn't shut up, so it woke up the whole house.
and now, after watching absolutely nothing on tv and staying awake because i drank too much tea, we're reduced to one bed, because i now own the fold out couch, and since erin went to bed and sleeps with five of the cats, i'm going to chill on the couch, and pretend it's because i fell asleep there. i understand how the communal bed arrangement and my mom's okay-ed-ness with it would freak out others though. and tonight's been enough of a trip as is.
tomorrow the real fun - whoa! that auto-recover thing just came in real handy. i haven't had to use it before, because most computers are competent. so anyway. tomorrow the real fun begins, because i get to spend the entire day doing this awkward crab dance (that was for little erin) with my mother, and not directly talk about anything. hooray. i wonder how i could handle this so much better before. this has been far too stressful so far, and i already smoked my last two cigaretts.
wish me luck. i hope the weekend's going okay so far at home, and someone tell meg maguire happy birthday for me, and that i'm sorry i'm not there.
the bus ride was good. it was the best transportation experience i've had to my mother's in a while. considering i always get caught in holiday traffic after JUST making the bus anyway. we had time to chill before getting on the bus, and it was late besides that. the trip wasn't that long. it's been kinda weird since arriving though. they didn't put the other bench seat in the van, so i had to sit on the floor in the back.
we got here and ate. my mother barely said anything to me, and looked like she was ready for me to start screaming at her at any moment. erin let on that after dinner, when she'd claimed the tv for laguna beach, and we went out, that it was an outing to smoke the drugs, so i'm sure my mother must be thinking mile high thoughts about me right now. and then all the dogs barked when we came in and wouldn't shut up, so it woke up the whole house.
and now, after watching absolutely nothing on tv and staying awake because i drank too much tea, we're reduced to one bed, because i now own the fold out couch, and since erin went to bed and sleeps with five of the cats, i'm going to chill on the couch, and pretend it's because i fell asleep there. i understand how the communal bed arrangement and my mom's okay-ed-ness with it would freak out others though. and tonight's been enough of a trip as is.
tomorrow the real fun - whoa! that auto-recover thing just came in real handy. i haven't had to use it before, because most computers are competent. so anyway. tomorrow the real fun begins, because i get to spend the entire day doing this awkward crab dance (that was for little erin) with my mother, and not directly talk about anything. hooray. i wonder how i could handle this so much better before. this has been far too stressful so far, and i already smoked my last two cigaretts.
wish me luck. i hope the weekend's going okay so far at home, and someone tell meg maguire happy birthday for me, and that i'm sorry i'm not there.