Aug 08, 2003 00:30
It's interesting how sometimes fate can have that darndest timing, almost to the point where you know you were about to say something that is probably for your thoughts only. I've noticed that subconsciously, I think I've come to terms with a lot of things, but perhaps I'm over-termed...I don't really know how to explain it, but I feel like I'm not really bothering to stop and question myself anymore.
You paint a picture for everyone to see, be it a facade or the real you. You colorit in with your actions and expressions and add life to it by your relations. If, from these I conclude that you are a goat when in fact you think you are a butterfly, look to yourself, not me. I'm tired of stopping and wondering what I'm doing wrong, I realize that I'm not 100% at fault all the time.
Through a casual conversation, I also realized that I love unconditionally. Those who have made it into my heart, have never left it. Even if I want to say that I've kicked them out of my life, I still think about them. Even when the betrayed me, I still kept them in my heart. And maybe that's because no matter what, I'll always have loving memories...whether it ended badly or not, or whether it continues superficially.
Why do you think I rarely say "I love you"? Because every time I've said it to someone that wasn't related to me, I've been betrayed. And while they, I'm sure, no longer have me in their hearts, they will always be in mine.
Random thoughts.